My mistakes about a girl and request for guidance and help fix it up

Hello,

That's my first Post so i may have written it a bot long.
I got some issues with a girl which are disturbing my concentration and feelings recently that's why i decided to ask you guys for some hint and advice .
Something like 3 months ago i started to talk with a girl via Facebook (we have some mutual friend) , her hometown is the same city which i'm currently living in (in Poland) but she has a job in other side of boarder in Germany which is like 6 hours driving .
Any way after 20 days of writing on messenger, texting and talking via phone she came to her hometown but i was kind of busy and honestly i neglected (i was waiting for her to ask me first)to visit her from the first day and she got pissed off and then i visited her in last days of her presence and i went to her flat.
I simply made tea and talked with her about funny stuffs and general things and unfortunately i couldn't escalate things (at the time i didn't know about (https://www.girlschase.com) , she even mentioned it is immoral and impossible to kiss and have sex at the first date and bla bla bla , so long story short i just kissed her on chick and came back home.it was last days of her presence so when i asked her for date she told she has to visit family and slowly organize things to leave and she also blamed me why didn't i ask for a date from the very beginning that she just arrived and we could have several dates!

So after she came back to Germany we kept our contacts and every thing was OK about texting and phone calls but after a while she got busy and had some issue with her job and was nervous but perhaps i made a mistake and texted/called her in that situation and then she cut off all contacts and turned off her phone and there was radiosonde for something like 4 days!
After that 4 days she check my text messages (I know i made a mistake that i texted and showed her to be worried) and she said everything is OK and then when i called her she just brought up the topic that : she is so active! and has many things to do but me i put so much time for talking and ect so that's why we do not match......!
Then of course i tried to convince her that we have to get familiar to know if we , then i brought up topic about her ex (which i knew him and actually he played and left her because he has wife and children which she didn't know about) and i told you made mistakes before and do not repeat those again and do not make decision without thinking so she accepted to visit again when she comes to Poland.
By the way later she planned for a travel to Norway and i asked to join her (Now I know it was mistake) but she rejected and told she wanna be alone and we barely know each other to travel together and so on , so i got pissed off and didn't talk to her for some days and she texted me and asked if i am angry that she wanna travel alone and i answered no i was simply busy!
So finally in recent days she acts kind of aloof and when i ignored her (for max 3 days) i feel it gets worse .
I will really appreciate if you help me on this issue because after all efforts and times i feel a pity to lose the chance and it those thoughts are all the time in my head and kind of disturbing my functionality at work or studying , i know you may offer let her go option but i will be grateful if you give me some strategy and guidance to fix things up , and after all i have to say sorry for such a long text but i couldn't make it shorter and cut details.

Best regards
David

Hey greendavid,
Welcome to Girls Chase! (and oh, I do hope your eyes are green... that'll be totally hot)
We've all been there man and it sucks. Here's a list of the cause of your problem:
1. You're a nice guy
2. You're needy (shows in your texts, asking to travel with her which means you don't value your time, getting angry at her not replying you and her refusals, etc)
3. Showing no sexual intents (you were the funny guy when you both met and you ended the date with a kiss on the cheek)
4. Not banging her when you met (if you did and you gave her a great time in bed, she'd definitely be happy to see you again)
5. Too much texting
6. Getting emotional too soon
7. Mentioning her ex
8. Being bent on getting this particular girl
Now let me try and explain these 8 observations I have made to you
1. Assholes finish first. The cliché is true, girls want bad boys. The solution is in GC articles. Take care of your fundamentals, work on your sexy vibe, approach lots of girls, be an asshole, etc.
2. It looks like it's just her you're gaming and this shows in how you treat her. You're walking on eggshells around her, texting too much when you guys can't see, going out of your way to ask to travel all the way to another country with her (if a girl I just met made this kinda request I'd think she's crazy). You shouldn't be gaming only one girl in your life, you need to have options. Meet girls, they're out there.
3. You have to show sexual intents and you have lots of options to choose from: chase frames, sex talk, sexual innuendos, sexual humour, touching, naughty observations, etc. Not doing any of this makes you a regular boring guy. And ending the date with a kiss on the cheek is bad, better to end it with no kissing at all if you're running a two date style or date compression.
4. I believe this is self explanatory
5. Texting is for the purpose of working out logistics, but flirting is allowed and it can help. Also since the only way you got talking to her was on Facebook so it's normal that you text a bit before meeting. However, I'm sure you made the mistake of deep diving through your texts. This is bad. What I'd have done is text her on Facebook, get her number and move to whatsapp. Flirt with her over there using sexual innuendos, wits and chase frames, call her on the phone and flirt (it's okay to ask a few personal questions here), ask her when you guys can meet. Once she says, "I'll be coming around in 3 weeks time" I'll tell her it'll be awesome for us to meet and I'm looking forward to it. I'll then disappear and reappear close to the time she's coming around and make plans for meeting when she comes.
6. This is bad. You can't get angry cause she didn't reply or refuse to travel with you, she ain't your girlfriend. You also guilted her into accepting to revisit Poland by mentioning her ex, saying she made bad decisions before and she shouldn't repeat that. She's likely to change her mind
7. You shouldn't be bringing up her ex over text, it's also risky in person, the way you talked about it. He was a lier and a cheat and now you're making her feel bad emotions that she'll associate with you. Besides, I don't see how mentioning him would help your cause. You're also showing her that you're a boyfriend candidate.
8. Do you guys have a very strong connection? Do sparks fly when you look into each others eyes? Does she really really like you? If yes, then you still have a chance. Just go radio silent for like 2 months. During this period go lift weights, approach and at least sleep with one girl, take care of your fundamentals, become an asshole and then get back in contact with her. If she shows strong interest, convince her in a non-needy but resolute way to meet, shag her and be happy. If she isn't super interested, forget about her. You'll meet more awesome girls.
Even if things work out, how do you want to manage the long distance?

Hi Mystique

First of all i have to thank you for replying, it already helped me to gather my thoughts and was kinda relief.

-About Facebook we just wrote over there for something like a week then i got her Polish phone number (she has Polish and German) and from that time we were calling over WhatsApp and also writing text messages over there.Unfortunately or maybe fortunately she didn't give me the German number so when her Polish phone was off then our contact was completely cut.

-I guess i have mentioned that i live in her hometown so almost every month she comes here and stays something like 10 days to visit family and shopping and etc and she has a flat here and it was where i met her.and In addition she is planning to find a job in here (her hometown) and stays here permanently.

-Actually the problem was that i had no option except calling and writing on WhatsApp and most of scenarios which i read were about real date and meeting face to face so i have no idea what to say or write over phone call and text and how to execute your hints:
"Flirt with her over there using sexual innuendos, wits and chase frames, call her on the phone and flirt (it's okay to ask a few personal questions here), ask her when you guys can meet. Once she says, "I'll be coming around in 3 weeks time" I'll tell her it'll be awesome for us to meet and I'm looking forward to it. I'll then disappear and reappear close to the time she's coming around and make plans for meeting when she comes."
Or
" You have to show sexual intents and you have lots of options to choose from: chase frames, sex talk, sexual innuendos, sexual humour, touching, naughty observations, etc"
And also i didn't understand about what you wrote about deep diving over phone!

-Final point is that she will be in the city in 2 weeks so i guess that i guess it will be the time to meet her again!

By the way yeah i have mixed green/hazel eyes.

So i wish to have your guidance regarding to these points and i will really appreciate your hints over the issue.

Kindest regards
David

Hey greendavid,

-I guess i have mentioned that i live in her hometown so almost every month she comes here and stays something like 10 days to visit family and shopping and etc and she has a flat here and it was where i met her.and In addition she is planning to find a job in here (her hometown) and stays here permanently.

Click to expand...

I had no idea

-Actually the problem was that i had no option except calling and writing on WhatsApp and most of scenarios which i read were about real date and meeting face to face so i have no idea what to say or write over phone call and text and how to execute your hints

Click to expand...

Learning how to be good with calling or texting takes time, but in your situation there's really no need to worry as you said, she comes around and will soon stay in your hometown permanently. All you have to do is be non-needy in your texting and use it to plan dates. Also read articles on texting and calling

"Flirt with her over there using sexual innuendos, wits and chase frames, call her on the phone and flirt (it's okay to ask a few personal questions here), ask her when you guys can meet. Once she says, "I'll be coming around in 3 weeks time" I'll tell her it'll be awesome for us to meet and I'm looking forward to it. I'll then disappear and reappear close to the time she's coming around and make plans for meeting when she comes."

Click to expand...

I was telling you how I'd have done it if I were in your shoes. But the deed is already done though

" You have to show sexual intents and you have lots of options to choose from: chase frames, sex talk, sexual innuendos, sexual humour, touching, naughty observations, etc"

Click to expand...

This is basically how you seduce a girl. Chase framing, sex talk and touching has been covered extensively on GC. Search for the articles. Sexual innuendo is basically turning something innocent and making it seem like it's sexual. I think in Chase's article on chase framing he talks about sexual innuendos as they work very well with chase framing. An example of a sexual innuendo would be: she tells you she plays basketball and then you stare and her hands and say, "so these tiny hands can play with big balls". All you have to do is train yourself on how to create sexual innuendos.
As for the naughty observations, it's my own personal style I developed. Read up on chase framing and sex talk, experiment with them and see which works best for you... or you could mix and match with time.

And also i didn't understand about what you wrote about deep diving over phone!

Click to expand...

I said you might have made the mistake of deep diving over the phone which is a bad idea. Or are you asking the meaning of deep diving?

-Final point is that she will be in the city in 2 weeks so i guess that i guess it will be the time to meet her again!

Click to expand...

It all depends. I felt the best option would be to give her some space since she's cold and then re-emerge later. What's the rush, she comes around often and would still be moving permanently there. If she's going cold and you're acting all desperate, you'll lose her for good. You didn't answer the questions I asked though:
[/quote]Do you guys have a very strong connection? Do sparks fly when you look into each others eyes? Does she really really like you?[/quote]
The second question might sound cheesy but I'm making a point man. What's your answer to them?
Also you're asking questions about this one girl. How about improving generally with women. How about being able to pick up girls and sleep with them. Becoming an attractive man. You should put this in mind: "you might not be able to get this girl". I know it sucks but as seducers we know that we don't have to get every girl we go for, that's impossible. Pick up is a numbers game: the more girls you approach; the higher your chances of sleeping with more women.
Seems like you're bent on seeing her in two weeks so how about you try this out. Go silent on her for 10 days then call her up 4days to her coming to your home town. Ask how she's doing and all, flirt with her, make her feel good and then ask to meet when she's around. Set up a date and don't text or call till the meeting date. Meet with her, make moves and try and sleep with her. If you're wondering how to pull off sleeping with her, all you have to do is search for articles that cover this on GC.
It's basically deep diving, using sexy eye contact and facial expressions, touching (from innocent to more intimate), showing sexual intents (chase framing, sex talk, etc), go for the kiss, act normal, re-escalate using gradual physical escalation (going from kissing the lips to the neck, and back to the lips, etc). You might get some lmr so read up on how to overcome it. I'm basically summarising everything cause there are articles here that explains them in details.

By the way yeah i have mixed green/hazel eyes.

Click to expand...

Go get 'em tiger!

Hello Mystique ,

I am really glad to have your help on this issue and honestly i already used one of your advises , could i report any progress and further detail on the issue and have some future help and advises ?

I'll then disappear and reappear close to the time she's coming around and make plans for meeting

Click to expand...

She is in Norway and since Monday and since Friday which i wrote her "Take care and drive safely" as you said i went radio silence and yesterday she started to write messages on WhatsApp and when i didn't answer then she called .
So i picked up the call (i don't know if i was supposed to do that) and she just said i was busy and had bad time and bla bla , then she told she got a big ticket from Norwegian Police and the way between countries was so exhausting and etc
So i responded like this (which i have no idea if it was OK) :
"Well i just told driving alone between countries is not such safe and pleasant and that's why i offered to come and it could me more joyful and less tiring , any way now i am to busy and i can't help just try to take it easy and enjoy it"
then she answered like this :
I know you were right but i am very stubborn and you should have realized it by now
So i just changed the topic and asked about the weather in Oslo and hotel and etc then she told that she has to arrange her baggage and later i will try to call and i told yeah go do your things and take a rest.
And something like at 11 she called and she told just wanna say good night and she is sleepy and bla bla ... so i told sleep well goodnight.

So today morning i noticed she wrote to me on WhatsApp , Good morning , wish you a great day ,smile emoji , kiss emoji
So far i didnt reply and didnt write back any thing because i am busy at work and also i thought it will be better to ask you first .

I would like to also ask we are already talking for something like 3 months and she writes messages and calls me almost usually day so i dont know what to do at this point , should i never write or call first and just wait when she calls and then write back or answer the phone ?
I know there are prefect articles on GC but the amount of article are so much and i wish you point to exact article and give me some link for example about phone calls and etc

Do you guys have a very strong connection? Do sparks fly when you look into each others eyes? Does she really really like you?

Click to expand...

Honestly i feel yes she likes me , because at the beginning she was non stop writing and calling and when she came to the city it was her who invited me to her flat , but i didn't use the opportunity and also time and calling and texting after out visit got boring that's why she started to behave aloof and got colder (Please Correct me if i think wrongly or these were not the signs that she like me )

Go silent on her for 10 days then call her up 4days to her coming to your home town.

Click to expand...

She will be in the city probably in 2 weeks and actually i wanna be silent but she writes and calls me like what i wrote about so i don't know if it is good to ignore her calls and messages? I guess i have to take some tactic before meeting to encourage her and make her more impassioned to meet and also other tactic when we meet and i will be in her flat or she will come to my flat , i will be really grateful if you provide me the link of related articles because in such small amount of time i guess i will not be able to learn and practice every thing from 0 to 100 (Please correct me if i am not right)

Seems like you're bent on seeing her in two weeks so how about you try this out. Go silent on her for 10 days then call her up 4days to her coming to your home town. Ask how she's doing and all, flirt with her, make her feel good and then ask to meet when she's around. Set up a date and don't text or call till the meeting date.

Click to expand...

You are 100% right , it is generally about girls and not this particular one and i am eager to improve my skills and performance on this subject , i will try to visit other girls , practice and get better , but it is already 3 months which i am working on her and i kind of really like her so after all these times and effort i feel it is a pity to let her go and try to fix things up because i feel every thing was going well she was even sometimes pointing to some mild sexual subjects like her body and etc after our first meeting so i guess she was opening some frame which i didn't use it properly , am i right ?

At the end sorry for taking your time and writing such a loooong message , i will appreciate if you let me know the title (or even link ) of each article related to these subjects.
Again thank you and waiting for you future hints and help

Have a great day/night

Hey Green

I am really glad to have your help on this issue and honestly i already used one of your advises , could i report any progress and further detail on the issue and have some future help and advises ?

Click to expand...

Feel free to make progress reports. I'll try and help you as much as my knowledge can.
The good news is that you can actually get her. She's very much interested and likes you. Even a guy without any game should still be able to get her due to that natural attraction she already has. Still, nothing is ever certain though.

yesterday she started to write messages on WhatsApp and when i didn't answer then she called .
So i picked up the call (i don't know if i was supposed to do that) and she just said i was busy and had bad time and bla bla , then she told she got a big ticket from Norwegian Police and the way between countries was so exhausting and etc
So i responded like this (which i have no idea if it was OK) :
"Well i just told driving alone between countries is not such safe and pleasant and that's why i offered to come and it could me more joyful and less tiring , any way now i am to busy and i can't help just try to take it easy and enjoy it"
then she answered like this :
I know you were right but i am very stubborn and you should have realized it by now
So i just changed the topic and asked about the weather in Oslo and hotel and etc then she told that she has to arrange her baggage and later i will try to call and i told yeah go do your things and take a rest.
And something like at 11 she called and she told just wanna say good night and she is sleepy and bla bla ... so i told sleep well goodnight.

Click to expand...

You did alright

So today morning i noticed she wrote to me on WhatsApp , Good morning , wish you a great day ,smile emoji , kiss emoji
So far i didnt reply and didnt write back any thing because i am busy at work and also i thought it will be better to ask you first .
I would like to also ask we are already talking for something like 3 months and she writes messages and calls me almost usually day so i dont know what to do at this point , should i never write or call first and just wait when she calls and then write back or answer the phone ?

Click to expand...

You've already set the precedence of calling and texting frequently so you can't exactly back out now. Although you'll suffer the consequences after you've slept with her and she expects you'll keep on calling and texting as frequent as before and her getting upset when you don't do. It's a good thing she isn't cold anymore and I suspect it's cause you went silent on her. It's okay to text, just slow down how fast you reply and of course don't ignore her calls. When you do reply or pick her calls, sound enthusiastic and not cold or aloof. Of course don't overdo it and sound like a comedian. But the most important thing is to see her in person. Wether to write first or only just reply her texts, it's kinda tricky. I don't know how to put it to you. But since she always texts first, just reply. Don't be cold though, just be the busy guy who doesn't reply fast but when he does he's warm and charming. You could decide to call her out of the blue, close to the day you're to meet and just talk to her after days of only replying late cause you're busy.

I know there are prefect articles on GC but the amount of article are so much and i wish you point to exact article and give me some link for example about phone calls and etc

Click to expand...

This is a tall order. Too many articles and I'm quite busy... dunno where to start the search from as I don't have specific ones in mind right now (or rather specific titles of articles). You'll have to find them yourself, or any other person reading this could make recommendations.

but it is already 3 months which i am working on her and i kind of really like her so after all these times and effort i feel it is a pity to let her go and try to fix things up because i feel every thing was going well she was even sometimes pointing to some mild sexual subjects like her body and etc after our first meeting so i guess she was opening some frame which i didn't use it properly , am i right ?

Click to expand...

Yea, I understand. 3 months of investing your time in her and you don't want it to go to waste. I just hope she's hot though, lol.
Yea, she's probably opening some sexual frames there which you could capitalise on. You don't even have to wait till she creates one, you can build it yourself. For example when you both meet and she has a great perfume on you can say "you smell really nice, are you trying to sweep me off my feet. Warning though, it's quite hard to seduce me" with a sexy smile and eyecontact.
All you need now is to set up a date for when she's around. When she comes around you should sleep with her.
Keywords for the kinda articles you need when searching are:
Dates
Physical escalation
Eye contact flirting
Sexy smile
How to have sex on the first date (it isn't your first date but the articles are still helpful)
Chase framing
Sex talk (you might fumble a lot with this as a beginner)
Deep diving
How to be see sexy.
Seppuku also has a post and a reply to me where he describes in details his physical escalation technique. Superb stuff. I can't seem to find it though. Seppuku could you kindly help out?
Basically, you wanna escalate physically. From innocent touches to more sexual touch till you sleep with her. She might give you resistance so read on how to overcome last minute resistance by Chase Amante and the one by Hector Castillo.
That's all for now. Good luck

Hey Mystique

I had much work yesterday so i couldn't be online.

Well the day before yesterday i had some strange situation , It was evening and she called me , started to talk then suddenly crying and told she felt so bad alone in hotel because of thought about what happened in the way (Traffic officer held her for some hours at the station to check docs and etc because those are in other language ) and she felt stressed in the room so she came out for walking and calling me etc .
I : tried to calm her down and told it already happened and you are safe in your destination and it is the most important thing and bla bla ...
She : responded that yes she knows but she wished to talk to me me because i am a good boy.....
I: Well it depends sometime i could be and asshole but u try to not be form people who i like...... , any way i suppose it could be helping if i was there
She : Yes it is ,
I : tried to make it a bit emotional/ sexual and told her you could hug me and ..... feel calm then changed the subject if she ate something
She : responded she is going to take some hamburger and she almost arrived to McDonald
I : just told ok have your dinner then later if you wish you can call me i have things to do so will not sleep early.

after some 40 minutes she called

She : told I'm on the bed and wanted just say good night and i just tried to make her laugh and also some sexual innuendos and she responded and laughed
Me: told her OK you had a tough day so it's time to sleep
She : Yeah indeed sleep well , goodnight , bye bye
Me : Kisses goodnight

So yesterday she wrote that she is at way to Germany , after 3 hours i wrote back drive carefully and rest in some hotel if you get sleepy ,do not drive in that condition.
Well at night she called that she arrived and she is so tired and it was a really bad trip and..... i just answered it's nice that you are safe back home just relax and sleep , also tomorrow try to get relaxed and .....
So we just said good night and hanged up .

Today is around 6 Pm and i didn't have any message and also didn't write any thing , i assume she is with her sister and resting.

So that was all till now , i don't know if i had some mistakes or could do it better .

Thanks for hints and help

I dont have much to add because I think Mystique is giving you some great advice, but I wanted to wish you good luck!

lostnumber said:

I dont have much to add because I think Mystique is giving you some great advice, but I wanted to wish you good luck!

Click to expand...

Thank you Bro!

Hello

So here i am after 2 days.
The day before yesterday(Friday) i was invited to some party related to my work so after whole day she call at evening and i told her i am kind of busy , she asked why and i answer i am invited to some kind of party and after her insisting i told her those are boys and girls from work and we will gather in some club and etc , so she answered it is nice .
So after some 5 minutes of talking i told her i have to get prepared and she told we will talk later and have fun and good night.
Yesterday (Saturday) we didn't have any contact because her work pick is actually on (Saturday) she work on some tourist agency which is actually busy in weekends.
Today (Sunday) i just wrote her "Hello How are you doing ?" she answered" hello i am at work " (I don't know if it was good that i wrote first at all).

The first point is that after such a long time i don't know how to keep it hot and keep her excited and eager over phone because all articles here are about phone conversation before first date or after getting laid , and i my case which i met her in a normal date and then we can have contact over phone only till when she comes to the city then i couldn't find any article about it.

The second point is to how ask her when is she coming back to our city and planing about our second date (Hopefully this time the deal will be sealed ) , i don't know how to ask to not appear needy and also do not cause any resistance or cause her to flake!

I will appreciate your hints

Hello greendavid,

I did not notice you mentioning it but I would say you you should ask her out to see her in person. You renewed the original cold situation and we all know that you need to make something happen in person. You can use the trip she had and tell her that you two should meet and she can tell you about the trip, etc.

Also, I am in a similar spot with one girl, and what helped me was this article:
What to do when a girl does not tex back

Also, given the fact you already were in her flat and it did not turn in sex, I would recommend articles on last minute resistance (some articles are just LMR) and also Shit tests, objections and rock solid frame control. The reason is, if you go for it and try to sleep with her, she might show resistance and test your resolve to see whether you really are a man - simply because the last time you were in that flat, nothing happened.

Hello,

Thank you Michal ,
As i told to Mystique she lives a bit far away and she comes to her hometown (Where i live now) once a month to visit mom and family so i have to motivate her somehow to meet and as it is recommended schedule and lead the date by myself , just i need to know when she will be here and how is her schedule but i don't wanna appear needy and dying to meet her.
By the way your name is kind of Polish , aren't you?

Thank you and regards
David

I am Czech but I think the name originates from Polish
Anyway, yea I read the thread I just was not sure whether you know when she comes back the next time so that you could send a text with an invite. But if you have rough idea, you can non-chalantly ask her out. For example for Tinder girls, I always incorporate "I prefer to get to know people in person than over the phone" and it never failed me (once you banter a bit of course, not asking on cold turkey), but yea, when you two chat and some topic that has more info that can be shared pops up (like she starts sharing experiences from her trip), you can just say "how about we met when you get back and you can tell me all about it? When will you be back in [city]?" And that's it. Then, just run your process and dont fail to lead and end up in bed at the end.

Hey greendavid,

I had much work yesterday so i couldn't be online.
Well the day before yesterday i had some strange situation , It was evening and she called me , started to talk then suddenly crying and told she felt so bad alone in hotel because of thought about what happened in the way (Traffic officer held her for some hours at the station to check docs and etc because those are in other language ) and she felt stressed in the room so she came out for walking and calling me etc .
I : tried to calm her down and told it already happened and you are safe in your destination and it is the most important thing and bla bla ...
She : responded that yes she knows but she wished to talk to me me because i am a good boy.....
I: Well it depends sometime i could be and asshole but u try to not be form people who i like...... , any way i suppose it could be helping if i was there
She : Yes it is ,
I : tried to make it a bit emotional/ sexual and told her you could hug me and ..... feel calm then changed the subject if she ate something
She : responded she is going to take some hamburger and she almost arrived to McDonald
I : just told ok have your dinner then later if you wish you can call me i have things to do so will not sleep early.
after some 40 minutes she called
She : told I'm on the bed and wanted just say good night and i just tried to make her laugh and also some sexual innuendos and she responded and laughed
Me: told her OK you had a tough day so it's time to sleep
She : Yeah indeed sleep well , goodnight , bye bye
Me : Kisses goodnight
So yesterday she wrote that she is at way to Germany , after 3 hours i wrote back drive carefully and rest in some hotel if you get sleepy ,do not drive in that condition.
Well at night she called that she arrived and she is so tired and it was a really bad trip and..... i just answered it's nice that you are safe back home just relax and sleep , also tomorrow try to get relaxed and .....
So we just said good night and hanged up .
Today is around 6 Pm and i didn't have any message and also didn't write any thing , i assume she is with her sister and resting.
So that was all till now , i don't know if i had some mistakes or could do it better

Click to expand...

This means she's emotionally attached to you in a way. Our original plan for you to set up a date and everything I've said still stands. But it looks like she's putting you in the boyfriend zone which means you'd face lmr. Seems like she really likes you which is supposed to be a great thing. But when a girl really likes you, she wants to draw out the courtship and not sleep with you too soon so you won't see her as slutty and leave her.

So here i am after 2 days.
The day before yesterday(Friday) i was invited to some party related to my work so after whole day she call at evening and i told her i am kind of busy , she asked why and i answer i am invited to some kind of party and after her insisting i told her those are boys and girls from work and we will gather in some club and etc , so she answered it is nice .
So after some 5 minutes of talking i told her i have to get prepared and she told we will talk later and have fun and good night.
Yesterday (Saturday) we didn't have any contact because her work pick is actually on (Saturday) she work on some tourist agency which is actually busy in weekends.
Today (Sunday) i just wrote her "Hello How are you doing ?" she answered" hello i am at work " (I don't know if it was good that i wrote first at all).
The first point is that after such a long time i don't know how to keep it hot and keep her excited and eager over phone because all articles here are about phone conversation before first date or after getting laid , and i my case which i met her in a normal date and then we can have contact over phone only till when she comes to the city then i couldn't find any article about it.
The second point is to how ask her when is she coming back to our city and planing about our second date (Hopefully this time the deal will be sealed ) , i don't know how to ask to not appear needy and also do not cause any resistance or cause her to flake!
I will appreciate your hints

Click to expand...

Don't stress it man. Once attraction is there, it doesn't disappear. All you have to do is not fuck things up. You don't have to try and keep things hot and exciting or try and impress her over the phone. Even in person, gaming is not trying to impress her. All you have to do is follow a process that works and go for sex.
About asking her for a date, just ask her. Don't be worried about looking needy. There's nothing needy about planning to meet when you both want it. After talking a bit on the phone:
"Hey Jane, so when exactly are you coming to (name of city)"
"I'm coming on bla bla"
"Alright. It'll be really awesome for us to get to spend some time together. You'll get to see my handsome face and I'll get to see your cute and distracting face"
"Haha. Yea, it'll be nice (blushes over the phone"
"Hmmm... sounds like someone is blushing. Am I making you blush?"
"Nooo. Not at all"
"Haha. So what days will you be more chanced to meet, so we can pick the one that works for the both of us"
"I've got..."
You guys work out logistics
"Put on something hot for me when you're coming" (don't say this if you know you'll fumble or if it'll be incongruent since you've not shown enough sexual intent through your considerations)
"Haha. I don't have anything sexy"
"I'm sure you do. I'm making something in the kitchen now and I need to get back to it, so we'll talk later"
"Okay. Bye David"
"Bye Jane"
So the conversation should be something similar to the one above. When you both meet, play on the special connection you both have together.
"I like the way you smile whenever you look at me". After taking her hands "Your hands fit perfectly into mine"
I'm giving you all this romantic tips cause you're going down the romantic lane with her. Then throw out lots of sexual innuendos and chase frames. When she looks at you: "stop looking at me with lustful eyes"
"Haha. I wasn't"
You then compliment her, "your eyes are beautiful by the way"
Then you go for the kiss.
Address any form of resistance and let her know you guys hooking up will be awesome and would make the bond stronger and you won't disappear after. Read the lmr articles.
Go get 'em!

Hello Mystique

It's nice to have your message after a while.

Before receiving your message i have talked to her and ask her about her trip and she told me that she will be here during next week.

So i just told her it will be nice to meet and watch some movie together and even cook something together.
She answered yeah it will be nice but she prefers to meet in some cafe , it was kind of weird for me because the first time that we met was at here place but now which is the second time she likes us to meet in cafe!
So i answered her it's is OK to go to cafe or pub sometimes , but we are meeting after such a long time (40-50 days) and i wanna sit somewhere to talk and watch some movie together and even cook .
She told it is also to meet at cafe, and i answered we don't have some official or business meeting to be in force to meet in cafe , anyway we will talk about it when it will be close to the time of your trip , i have to check my schedule and try to organize some times for us to be able to meet at all .So she told OK we will talk about it later.

So i tried to suspend the subject for now to not escalate things and make some mistake before consulting with you

I also didnt understand what do you mean by :

Address any form of resistance

Click to expand...

And also how to

let her know you guys hooking up will be awesome and would make the bond stronger and you won't disappear after

Click to expand...

.

By the way i wanted to buy online and order some small things (Pipe tobacco) which are available in Germany and just give her address and ask her to bring those with her , but i am not sure if it is a good idea ? as i read an article i suppose it will be kind of investment from her side in me ?

I will not talk about these points with her till the time or receiving your hints , so i am eagerly waiting for your guidance.

Thank you and regards
David

Hi dude, good to see you here. Just throwing in my 2c, well it appears she calls you when stressed, upset or whatnot. This is actually a bit of a bad dynamic. You shouldn't be her comfort person. Probably a better approach (and this is difficult to pull off when you're only starting out) is simply laugh a bit and make fun of her...

Her: I got a bad ticket today the police officer was so mean etc etc
You: Good to know you're contributing to the Norway economy! I'm sure they'll love to have you back anytime! haha
Her: Ohhh but it's not fair it costs this much etc etc
You: Haha well when you get back you can wash my underpants for 20c an hour, you can pay it back in no time!
Her: Ahh don't be mean I had a really bad day etc etc
You: Okay well we all got problems honey so if that's all I have to get going

Click to expand...

So basically you just don't show any sympathy at all, and trivialize whatever it is that's bothering her and have a laugh about it too, implying it's totally her fault... as Mystique said, nice guys finish last. They really want a bit of the asshole treatment. Thing is that if you just drop everything and spend half an hour on the phone with her comforting her whenever she's had a bad day etc... then it looks like you don't value your time. What you have to do is be a bit mean and sarcastic and get rid of her when she's contributing nothing to your day and just taking (or trying to take... emotional support or whatnot). The idea is to train her over a period of time that if she rings up whinging and wanting comfort etc then she will have a bad experience. But the other side to the coin is, if she rings up "Hi how is your day? what have you been getting up to? I just missed you so I wanted to call and hear your voice" well that's when you LEAVE OUT the sarcasm and you act warm and friendly. See what I mean?

cheers, Ray

I would add to what ray says that this situation of your is why Chase stresses out moving fast and stuff like that. Because as time passes you set up a precedent and she puts you in a certain box. That does not mean nothing will ever happen between you two but it is harder to navigate. Meaning, let's assume she just uses you to vent and kinda likes you at the same time. There are things you provide like support, humor and other stuff and if you want to take this away, it is quite nuanced and you cannot simply stop doing what you do all of a sudden. It needs to gradual and calibrated. Like, in the "right moment" of her venting, you just stop her, tell her you understand she had a bad day, but you had a long day and want go to bed earlier or whatever. Just an example. The reason this is hard to accomplish is because you need to retract the value you provide AND replace it with another one (sex for example). But if she has you slotted in a box, she might not want the "new value" and you two will just fade away from each other's life.
I think my point can be summed up like - if you hace made some mistakes with her and want to correct them, it is not as simple as suddenly doing what you should have been doing in the first place.

Also, asking about her buying you some things in Germany is not a bad idea, but you need to tell her where to buy that, preferably a picture etc. And she needs to have the money of course. Minimize her cognitive load. She will be more inclined to buy that, especially if you cannot get them in Poland. You can throw it there and see what happens to test her complience levels.

Hello Ray, Michal and Mystique
You are awesome.

I will follow your advices because so far i see after applying your hints it is going much much better than before .
She is Stubborn and a bit hard to tame that's why it motivates me to challenge myself and learn how to deal with it then later it will be much easier to face with easier cases.

For sure i still have some mistakes which i need to correct.
For example last night before reading your replies :
((After whole day silence I wrote to her and ask how is she doing

She -answered not good because she got toothache and I told take painkillers and sleep she wrote pain killers doesn't work well and
I - wrote back wait a bit it needs time to work and we will talk later .
She -OK
I -After an hour I wrote to her is it better and she wrote no
Me -I wrote back and suggested some spray which are available in pharmacy and etc and i told she can call if she wants.
She -wrote back leave me i dont want to talk and i wanna watch TV ....
I -wrote do what ever you want , me i have so many thing to do and still was looking for some damn meds for your tooth .
She -Answered come on i didn't say any thing bad .
I -Wrote back anyway i have to do some works and sleep soon Goodnight!
Well i was pissed off but tried to control it ))

Any way i realized my mistake after noticing and reading your messages, i had to not show sympathy .

Well today i had to send her the list of things which i need her to buy for me because as we talked in Friday it will be late to ordering online and reviving and etc, I provided all details to make it as easy as possible and put everything in a PDF file.
As we know most of girls had issue with phone and computer so she told me her phone is not able to open the file give me photos and write details.
I just sent her links and she told she will order it when she will be at home
I just answered OK it's alright .

So far i didnt write or called to ask if she could manage it and she also didnt write so i just kept the silence .
She will be here in next week so i will try to just react according to your advises .
She has a bit difficult character or perhaps more experience with boys and i am kind of beginner so i that's why i need to act more cautiously and consult and bother you before taking each step.

Thank you for help and i am waiting for more advice from you
Kind regards
David

In addition to my last message i wanted to act how should i react about the favor which i asked her ? I have reminded her yesterday to order those things today and she wrote back OK!
I guess i shouldn't chase it any more ?
If she will not order and later will tell me it became late or she forgot and etc then in which way should i react ?

greendavid said:

In addition to my last message i wanted to act how should i react about the favor which i asked her ? I have reminded her yesterday to order those things today and she wrote back OK!
I guess i shouldn't chase it any more ?
If she will not order and later will tell me it became late or she forgot and etc then in which way should i react ?

Click to expand...

Act as if it is not a big deal.
It depends but not as much as it might seem. If she comes and starts to apologize genuinly and is sorry about it, tell her "it's ok, dont worry about it, the world will not end because of it" and you might add "and if it does end, we will know who to blame "
You can make a joke about it like "I guess you should not pursue a career in a post office "
The rules are:
- dont get pissed, angry or annoyed
- you can seem a little let down, especially if it is not as easy to obtain it differently, but not too much
- be cool as if it is not a big deal (because it isn't) - if someone attacked your mom, that would be a big deal

And if you really want it, just remind her. Keep in mind you ask her for complience, a demand and based on how much effort is required from her to fulfill that request depends your level of "respectful behaviour" (let's call it like that) you should employ. I hope you understand what I mean, it is hard to describe