My mistakes about a girl and request for guidance and help fix it up

[lostnumber]

Greendavid,

Some of these things you need to figure out for yourself. Seppuku has given you a ton of good advice in this thread and mentored you all the way to a sucessful conclusion (having sex with this girl). Now you need to spread your wings and fly! No one here can manage your every conversation and interaction for you.

I think you can see by Seppukus last post that he wants you to start thinking for yourself on this and stop relying on him for every decision. I would re-read his posts throughout the thread and come to your own conclusions.

My general observation is that you are overthinking this and coming off as very needy, you need to be more calm cool and collected in your conversations with this girl. You've already slept with her for crying out loud! Just be chill and find a way to get her into the same room with you again. Or better yet, cut things off, because as far as I can tell from skimming your posts, interacting with this girl sounds like it is causing way more drama then its worth.

 

[greendavid]

Hello,

Well i know that i cant all the time ask an it needs to be figured out by myself.
But Since the beginning i feel i have some issue .
I don't know how to make her emotionally depended on me and make some strong emotional bond.
Many times i managed to sleep with girl and had sex many times but things got slowly cold and it finished.
I must be missing something or doing things in wrong way .
Well i just realized one important obstacle is neediness but i cant somehow be in middle , i act like being needy or being too ignoring which seems to be ending in auto rejection.

I am sure that i am also missing some important things that if i could have done those things then the girl would feel love or at least would have some strong emotional bond to me.
I still have not any clear idea what i have to do to make her emotionally involved !?

Best regards
David

 

[Seppuku]

You had a good start I think, and by how she stayed around the whole time, it looked like she liked you. But somehow, it seems you fucked it up, and I feel sorry for you!

The possible culprits are:
* Being needy
* Being too available
* Displaying too much insecurities
* Giving her drama about how she should or should not be, or should / shouldn't do
* Bringing up relationship (this should come from her, in the right time)
* Displaying weakness
* Displaying your dependency on her

We can only guess that you have several of these from what you write. You know best! So you need to introspect your own past and current behavior for the symptoms above, and stop doing anything like these immediately. Think about what you did wrong along these lines, and how you can do better next time. You need to learn for the mistakes! It can only come from your own initiative.

There is no magic formula about what to say or what to write. There are only general principles of attractiveness, roughly speaking the opposite of the above points:
* Being non needy
* Having other things keeping you busy in life than her - and therefore not being too available
* Being in control
* Being cool, relaxed, sexy and flirty
* Displaying strength
* Sub-communicating that she is not your only option

These principles should be the guiding lines of your communication with her, verbal or text. Your overall behavior should be completely self-consistent with these principles, or else you're not congruent and she can smell it. The "radio silence" on text is one perfect example. It should be used to communicate that you're not always available, have other things in your life, and you're not needy around her. But if you use "radio silence", then have needy and supplicative behavior when around her, you're overall not congruent with yourself. Smells unnatural. Mixed message, she auto rejects.

What you need to do right now:
1) take a break from her. Have fresh air. Stop over-thinking it, do something else, change your mindset.
2) analyze your own mistakes with her. The exercise that I spelled out for you above. At least be sure to understand what you did wrong, so that you're not going to repeat the scenario next time
3) learn. Understand the principles above. Absorb them! Read more GirlsChase articles, Chase is the best at explaining all the concepts
4) best is to go for new girls now. This one will come back to you if she wants to.

When it's fucked up, it's fucked up. Seduction has no recipe to fix fucked interactions. It's about doing it right from the beginning. The principles are laid out for you here. Now it's up to you.

Seppuku
PS.

Some of these things you need to figure out for yourself. Seppuku has given you a ton of good advice in this thread and mentored you all the way to a sucessful conclusion (having sex with this girl). Now you need to spread your wings and fly! No one here can manage your every conversation and interaction for you.

lostnumber is right, we can't be spoon feeding you every answer to every text. You need to put up the work to learn from this interaction.

 

[greendavid]

Hello Seppuku,

That's great to have your advises.
I really try to read related articles and follow it practically.

Being too available

That's my biggest problem , i can not somehow calibrate it , for example today she wrote on whatsApp in morning (around 9) "Good morning Dave , have a great day (smily) " well i replied her message around 1PM and just wrote back "Hello wish you the same". I dont know if being responsive at this level OK?
Or if she calls at evening should i just ignore it or pick up and have a short conversation and then say i have to go and conversation must be ended by me ?!
Is it OK ?
I am always feeling that i take it too extreme that it looks like ignoring.

Well since last night after 2 days of silence she became like chasing me , i was busy and i wrote back i cant text or talk and then she was writing when i will be free and when can we talk and etc .
So i guess things got better , so i will to do What you need to do right now: points as good as possible.

Thank you man
Best regards
David

 

[Seppuku]

You did set some bad precedents. She is used to you answering all the calls and all the texts everyday. You are available for her 24/7. You should definitely keep the contact with her, while de-escalating your availability. But you can't afford to appear as voluntarily ignoring her, that will cause auto rejection. Ideally, get yourself something to do and get genuinely busy, then your responses to her calls and texts will be natural.

Well since last night after 2 days of silence she became like chasing me , i was busy and i wrote back i cant text or talk and then she was writing when i will be free and when can we talk and etc .
So i guess things got better , so i will to do What you need to do right now: points as good as possible.

You see, just being less available and now the chase dynamics is reversed. That sounds good. In this situation, tell her you are free for a call on Sunday night (i.e. like in two days time) and set her an appointment then. You still give her some of your time, but much less, and NOT available anytime she wants. The chase dynamics that you are seeing now, you want to keep it this way: she invests more than you do.

Earlier in the thread, you said you managed to take another girl (or two) to bed. This is a great way to keep yourself busy in the most natural way, while decreasing your neediness towards your particular girl. This is what you should be doing. Open your Badoo (or Tinder or whatever), get a date with another girl or two.That will do wonders on your mindset. Seduction advocates "abundance mentality" for exactly this reason.

And work on the "what you need to do right now".

Seppuku

 

[greendavid]

Hello Seppuku,

I haven't been here for a while , i am always grateful for your advises .
Well about this girl i was very busy and i had my internet turned off , the number is related to my work so i turned the internet off and i was using my private number for communication via internet , therefore i didn't have any contact with her .
Today when i turned on phone i got her message on WhatsApp and she just wrote

Hello David , is every thing alright ?

and i just wrote back Hello , Yes .

Some days ago she was kind of ignoring and she was a bit rude and had kind of rude response to flirting , that's why i just answered her such cold today.
Mean while i had issues with other girl which i open a separated post for it .

Do you think being such cold is OK for now ? Do you suggest any strategy ?
Also i wanted to ask you about some article about sub-communicating i couldn't find any on girlschase Website.

Best regards
David