Y's journal: Building game into life

[Merchant's-Kin]

I'm not going to talk about money today. I have faith I'll give it all away and honestly I'm not even worried that I'm going to give up. I'm worried that I'm going to be stuck here for the long haul.

What Makes Someone Advanced

(REPOST FROM A REPLY) EDIT: Apologies for the typos. I began to write a simple response before heading into work and then out of passion it grew into something much larger. They will be fixed by tomorrow. Over the years I've talked with plenty of women about bad dates they've had. I've also...

www.skilledseducer.com

So I just read this thread. And it seems I'm not anywhere near there at all... Ok that's fine. I'm not going to get anywhere near that very soon... I ACCEPT THAT.

I'm quite moody writing this so haha. Will be interesting to come back and read this when I'm not as moody.

Now I'm going to be honest with myself and ask what my 3 biggest problems are:

1. I JUST KEEP GETTING BLOWN OFF. On the street. I swear. It's all amounting to nothing because girls just blow me off. Doesn't matter whether or not I get AIs or IOIs. I get blown off. I've gotten blown off so many times that I'm just afraid that the next girl is going to do the same thing and blow me off again. Wow. I am so sick of this. So so bloody sick of this. It's going to be the first thing that I'm going to deal with. Getting blown off. Getting ignored.

2. The girls have boyfriends. Like they are literally not budging. None of them are budging. 50-75% of the girls that I successfully stop on the street are not budging. Telling me they are not single. Sometimes I open with "are u single" in a needy way and they just blow off the question. Not a very good testing ground in that case. Gotta fix the above problem first. This is really hindering my progress. I am going to stop getting blown off.

3. There's a hell lot of other shit. AND the fact that I've never had a friend who is a girl in my entire life. That is just aggravating the bitterness. I've read the Traveller's Gift and it keeps me so strong. Thanks to that I'm really keeping my cool right now even as I write this. No point thinking about the other stuff first.


Two things I'm going to fix
1. 4 OUT OF 5 girls I approach will pay attention to me and talk to me. If I get dates, that's fine. If I have sex, whatever. If I go out and less than 4 out of 5 girls pay attention to me and talk to me, it will be a failed outing.
(I don't care what it is I have to do. I'm going to fix this. If this takes more than a month something is wrong. Today is the 11th of August. By the 11th of September, I am no longer going to have this problem)

2. I don't know how possible it is to build a social circle from cold approach. But I'm not going to risk being stuck in this bitterness and lack of understanding of women any longer. If I have to learn to take dance classes, if I have to learn to sing, learn to do whatever, I will do it.
No matter what, I am going to make myself some female friends. Period.

 

[themino]

great goals. I should start a journal thread too.

With females I usually make sure they have some value that they can offer besides sex, for me thats usually a shared interest or hobby such as veganism. I'm not an expert though just have one so far, still working on my game.

 

[Mr STIF]

Lemme tell you something even though I'm not advanced. One of the biggest clues in connecting with humans is being open-minded.

Master seducers are good in conversations and using frames for setting expectations. Setting expectations is like bargaining for a better deal.

Master seducers have a seduction process they follow in order to get whatever they want at different times with different women. It's truly a skill that comes with practice and that's what pick up is all about.

Pick up is a sport and like other sports it requires skills and advanced skill requires being a master.

These are the skills: Eye contact, smile, walk, hand gestures, voice tonality, mannerisms, banter and other flirting skills.

There are also rules: warming up, 3seconds rule, not taking rejection as a big deal, moving fast, being congruent, attainability,GFTOW,not catching oneitis..

I saw pick up in a different light once I thought of it like the above. It's a religion, a lifestyle, a way of life but you have to believe in your self because you're the God creating that robot body of yours.

Your clothes and other peacocking stuffs are just baits for attracting the woman but your inner self is what actually gets the work done.

Lemme tell you a story of my self in cold approach: I remember getting blown out a lot and wondered WTF! I realized it must be my opener so I started thinking of opening that I overthought and froze up when it was time for the approach.

After practicing one day I said fuck it and just started a conversation, anyhow, with a woman and we ended up vibing. Damn well! I asked myself what my opener was until this and I can't freaking tell. I remember being in several conversations with women, I'll be carried away(in trance) and I'll forget to close. That was a wuss behavior so I tweaked myself the next time I was infield once I get her laughing and flowing I'll seal the deal. It formed a pattern in my soul where I'd go cocky and funny(david deangelo's trick) then once the girl flows I close and continue talking not to seem like I just came there for the number. My flake rate has reduced.

I also got a process to activate myself whenever I'm having a nice time: if it's a cold approach and I open, which leads to small talk then I sexualize or make it a man to woman thing to get her thinking of me in sexual way this is where I ask for the number(especially if she loves the idea of us).

This is where role play, chaseframes, banter, persistence and using it the right way too.

There were times when the conversation was good, I'd make her talk. In my head I'll be telling myself that it's time to sexualize things.

But these days I don't even think of it neither do I think of the opener nor the close. With the aid of my process I got a 30seconds phone number last year as I was leaving the mall. I saw this slim chick making a phone call, walked up to her as the call was ended. We were going opposite directions and she was late I just asked for her number and she gave me I was stunned.

In the past: as soon as she mentioned being late I would be too nice then allow her walk away but now I collected her number then she's free to go.

I keep an open mind and genuinely connect with another being don't come out with the intent to do pick up. I'm sure it's written all over your face that you wanna do something that will creep them the fuck out!

The masters are the smoothest executioners, that is they plan to fuck the hell out of the girl but they pretend not to, then they pretend to want to.

This dialling back and forth is what they call push-pull, it gets every human being to hook. These days, I can reach the hook pretty well and I handle rejections well plus- my subconscious mind is getting pretty good at reading body language.

Masters have honed their vibe from practice: there's the goofy side of them and the logical side. Pickup is supposed to be goofy and logical but if you get too logical you don't make it fun and if you get too goofy you now seem like a dancing monkey and don't seal the deal.

I noticed during a set in cold approach I ask too many questions like a CIA agent which is because I wanted to know about the girl but it got strangers scared. Questions are how humans get to know what's in other humans and strangers don't like it, at least not too many at the first instance. I watched YouTube videos and realise what to do. I did push pull by asking two questions and making a statement, two statements and a question, one question statement another question. I just alternate in different patterns subconsciously depending on the moment.

Anytime, I have a girl asking me 'why are you asking me all these questions?' or she starts to give off that feeling that I'm asking a lot of questions through her body language I just know I've gone the CIA route again, I reset the robot by giving some statements about myself.

Pick up is more than just picking up chicks it is an endless route of self development.

Cheers.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

After practicing one day I said fuck it and just started a conversation, anyhow, with a woman and we ended up vibing. Damn well!

Yea sometimes it works that way and it's a lot of fun!
What I've found though is that it's too much of a consolation that I would have this sort of conversation with 1 out of 10 girls that I approach. It has caused me to ignore the problem that I am getting blown off my 8/9 of the rest of the 10 girls.
I am going to have such conversations with 80% of the girls I talk to.

open mind and genuinely connect with another being don't come out with the intent to do pick up.

It formed a pattern in my soul where I'd go cocky and funny(david deangelo's trick) then once the girl flows I close and continue talking not to seem like I just came there for the number. My flake rate has reduced.

It's actually kindof interesting because I've started to try using cold approach to make female friends as well. I'm not really good at it. But their view of u somehow changes in front of ur very eyes when they see that u don't mind being 'just friends' either because there's going to be another girl down the street who will comply with ur advances

The masters are the smoothest executioners, that is they plan to fuck the hell out of the girl but they pretend not to, then they pretend to want to.

Somehow I didn't actually start this journey trying to be a master but comparing myself to them is important.
"A prudent man should always follow in the path trodden by great men and imitate those who are most excellent, so that if he does not attain to their greatness, at any rate he will get some tinge of it."

Cheers.

Cheers bro.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Ok it's been a while since I updated, at least for my updating pace. Had quite a few deadlines over the past week so I broke my going out schedule to focus on my deadlines. Though I still did some scattered approaches here and there.

Been working on reducing those blow-offs that I'm experiencing. This was what happened over the past few days when I didn't deliberately go out to approach, but as I talked to girls as I went out to buy food/groceries for myself:
13/08: (Deliberately went out to approach) 10 approaches. 4 blow-offs
14/08: 2 approach
15/08: 2 approach
16/08: 1 approach
18/08: 1 approach
19/08: 3 approach. 1 half-blow-off
20/08: 2 approach. 1 blow-off. 1 half-blow-off
21/08: 1 approach. 1 half-blow-off

The next time I post an update. It's just going to be a date range and a total set of numbers to save time.
What I have done to observe my performance more specifically:
I created a questionaire on an excel spreadsheet that I can access through my phone and fill out as I do approaches when I'm out in the field. This questionaire contains questions such as but not limited to:
Did u manage to make the approach not seemed rushed?
Was the opener genuine?
How smooth was the approach overall?
What was her walking speed? Was she stationary when u approached?
The impact over the past week
This has actually caused me to try extremely hard to make every one of my approaches smooth and calibrated. Given that my aim is to not get blown-off 4 out of 5 times.
By filling out this questionaire, I also see extremely clearly when I am personally at fault when the approach happens, and when it's due to other circumstances that the approach doesn't go well. It allows me, most importantly, to dispell most negative thoughts towards the girls.
Other problems that have arisen
Now even before I approach I am starting to look into the future, based on the girl's energy level, social situation, the environment, etc, whether an approach can go well. Unfortunately, this is horrible for 2 things:
1. Social momentum
2. Getting myself to do the approach. Perhaps some kind of approach anxiety.
How to solve the problem:
I still need social momentum and I still need to be approaching those mediocre girls. If I lose social momentum, for one reason or another, I will say to myself that a natural would not NEED social momentum to talk to other people. So neither should I. If I'm having anxiety about women. No problem I will talk to some guys first.
And I still need to be approaching in high pressure situations.
I promise:
1. If I really like the way a girl looks, I will do the approach no matter what. If I have to split from my daygame friends(if any that day), if I have to walk into a mall, approach a group of 2-3 girls, whatever other reason, so be it, I will do the approach
2. The above is same for any passable girl who gives me an AI.
3. If there is a mediocre set, and the environmental circumstances are good, I will slowly start to move closer to her and try to naturally say the first thing that comes to my mind.

Every time I break any of the above rules, I will deduct 5.00 from my bank account. If I fail to approach a girl that give me an Approach Invitation, I will deduct 20.00.
My goal is to not get blown-off 4 out of 5 times. And it's true that I should be choosing to not do the toughest approaches, but I have to learn to do some tough approaches too.

Over the past week, I stopped the whole deducting money from my bank account thing, but now I'm going to get back into it. But I won't update how much money I'm deducting from myself here. There's no point because I know for sure that I will give the money away.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Back on track with the cold-approaching and somehow I feel much more empowered given the steps I've taken to observe my cold approach more closely. But there is a very very long way to go. I am writing this post to gather my thoughts on a much bigger problem that I am facing: Fears of women.

Learning to understand girls by spending more 'normal' time with them
So I've posted somewhere on this board before as well and on this journal, that I've had female acquaintances before but not female friends who I became friends with for the sake of becoming friends (by this I mean a relationship where we form some kind of alliance or give each other life advice/emotional support and encouragement).

So I've for my whole life seen the very testy and cold sides of women and not the warmer sides which I suppose is a huge thing that I'm missing out on and it's definitely affecting my options with women and my learning curve at this period of time. Some previous bad experiences with women in the past where there was some micro-bullying in the form of me getting thrown under the bus in my relatively small high school by one of the could be said 'popular' girls are one of the main bad experiences among others.

So I've already begun to think about and building a solution to this problem:
I signed up for an acting course where I get to interact with 9 other people for a couple of hours a week.
It's half female and half male and the girls are actually quite fun so I'm enjoying myself.

I signed up for some individual-movement-ballroom dance classes and I've already gone for 1 session. I did manage to talk to some people during that dance session but I found that it was not extremely social as it is more of an individual movements dancing class. I'll see what can be done about this. I suppose I will try this dance class out for 3-4 weeks and see whether I can meet some female friends from this class.
Perhaps if there is a different place where I can learn such dancing. I will check that out as well.

Thank u to the people who responded to my post on the beginner's board and waking me up to this.
The good thing about the above 2 classes I have signed up for is that they are composed of a majority of female students and so even without forcing things I do find that I am getting to spend some time with them. I suppose that I will have to keep going at this for longer if I want to be able to really make some female friends.

Actually, since I will be relatively less busy for the next 4-5 weeks, I have a mind to do more socialising over the next 4-5 weeks.

I will go out for some night game/socializing on either Friday or Saturday night. If I feel like it, I may go for both.
EDIT: I may not go for this if I don't have the time (in the event I have a date) we'll see. If I go for socializing and it turns into some kind of pull/insta-date, I will consider that as a date and write a field report on that.

I will look for and try out for a couple of sessions some kind of street-dance class. I'll see whether I like it and whether the crowd there is good and its a good environment for meeting new people/girls etc.

Here I'm not saying that I'm going to be doing these things for the next 2-3 months but I'm definitely going to stick to trying these things out for the next 2-3 weeks. And seeing what new things I can learn about making female friends, how I feel about it, ways I can improve the process and effectiveness. I'll get to the next level, AND THEN see WHAT OTHER WAYS there are to improve myself next.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Making improvements to my date process

So based on some advice I got from the field reports board and perhaps from my daygame friends. There's something very wrong with my date process. I'm just literally too scared to go on dates. I make every single date a big deal.

This is a problem. It's probably based on some long-term fear of women that I have described in my previous message. And I keep making excuses to not go on more dates. What this has led to is the problem where I've been in this game on average 4-5 times a week for the past 2.5 months and I have in total only been on 4 arranged dates (where I had a possibility of going all the way) (If I count the rest of the dates that I have gone on, perhaps the total number of dates is 8)

The solutions that I have come up with to this problem that I am going to ENFORCE
(I won't be writing this here if I didn't plan to enforce it anyways) :
1. For the next 4 and a half weeks, my aim is to go on 3 dates a week where I have some form of logistics to pull to a private location. If I don't manage to go on 3 dates a week, that's fine. I can always make up for it by going on more dates the following week. I will come back to my journal and write on the boards how many dates I managed to go on by October 1 (by then I should have gone on 17 dates).
The dates don't have to be perfect. That's fine. I don't care if I don't pull. But there has to be a possibility of sex. That's all. I am just going to go on the dates. For every date I go on, I will post a field report on the field reports board and in my other journal. Making sure that I don't take too much time to write every field report will be my responsibility.
Naturally, I will have to cold approach enough to be filling that aim of 3 dates a week.

That's going to be enough writing for today. It's already too many things to think about.

Questions I have been accumulating but I have not yet put into prose:
2. How am I going to create back up logistics? (I am not going to write this on my journal. I'll just write about the new back-up logistics that I have created when I post the field reports of the dates that I go on)
3. How am I going to get better at my game during the dates? (I will probably write this on my other journal. This has essentially got to do with what I am going to worry about on each date)

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Update:

23-26 August:
Out of 29 approaches:
2 full blow-offs
10 half blow-offs
4 phone numbers

So I realised that the excel spreadsheet that I've drawn up has been causing me to over-analyse my approaches. So I'm still going to stick to my spreadsheet but simplify it to only enter data when there is a specific aspect of the approach that I fked up.

AND also add some of questions to it that I think I've been missing out. For example:
1. Was she single?
2. Did she look and behave like she was single before I approached?

I've been asking myself this question for quite a while now:
If I KNOW an approach is not going to go well... and obviously, we're not talking about 100% certainty here, but 60-80% certainty... If I know it's not going to go well...
It can be good practice to still approach but it's time to really start looking at the numbers. The truth is, I'm really wasting a lot of time talking to girls who are not single, I know my tendency is to go for girls who are not single, because these are genuinely the girls that I am drawn to, I like them because they of their elegance, non-flashiness, gracefulness, and how secure they are.

But in this conservative city of mine, almost NONE of them will cheat. Not with someone like me who is just starting out. I can do 8 approaches in a day and 25-50% of them won't be single. That's me wasting 0.5-1 hour every day I can't afford to do that.
I'm going to start picking my battles.


Increasing the standard for what is a blow-off and what is not a blow-off:
So right now, when I do an approach, and a girl gives me none of her time at all, I consider that a full blow-off
When I do an approach, and a girl stops and is listening seriously to what I'm saying but then one way or another walks off without having a conversation with me, I consider that a half-blow-off.
THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE:
There will no longer be such a thing as half-blow-off. The standard will be:
The two of us having a two-way conversation and the girl is single.
It does not have to be very long but there has to be some form of investment in a conversation with me from her. If I do not make this happen.
OR the girl is not single,
I will consider myself to have been blown off.


Thank u to @Dr.X for telling me to lower my standards. That's exactly what I'm going to do. I don't give a fk if I hurt girls or it becomes apparent that I don't really like the girls that I approach that much:
I always thought I would lose my virginity first, then think about standards, but the truth is, the time to act is NOW.
From the Traveller's Gift:
"A commited heart does not wait for conditions to be exactly right. Why? Because conditions are never exactly right."

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

There's something about me that feels very lonely right now. And also very weak... and vulnerable...

I've been grinding very hard with my game for the past 5 days and results have been bad though I can feel my game is improving.

I would actually like to share something more personal about myself. This is not meant to be judgemental to any demographic of people. But just a bit of my story. The reason I would like to share this is so that there's no more way for me to back out of this.

I shared this with my daygame friend today, it's something that I realised about myself only after I daygamed for a while. And after I shared it with him I felt like a loser. Not that he made me feel that way but I just realised that the time to confront the greatest of my fears is approaching.

Story 1: In my teenage years, the most sexually-expressive and sexually-playful girls hurt in me in some ways. And I became very lonely because of that. There were, thankfully, girls in my life who at that same time went out of their way to really care for me. These women were attached to their partners in very serious relationships. They really really served me. Which is why I am at the surface level so drawn to them and so comfortable with them. I want to serve them because of how they served me. Here I am referring to women other than my mother.

Unfortunately, this has created 2 problems for me over the past 5 months as I've gone out to daygame.
1. I find that I am always drawn to and thus approaching married/engaged/seriously-attached women because the way that they dress draws me to them.
2. When I approach girls who do not fall into such categories, for some reason the approach goes less well, because I am less comfortable with them.

This is not to say that I believe it's impossible to get girls who are married/engaged/seriously-attached. It simply requires more skill and value than someone who is starting from scratch is going to have.


Story 2: I've also from quite long ago until now, been feeding a very strong fear of talking about sex with girls. This started at a point in time when I spent 4 months with a girl barely even touching her because I did not dare to. This was perhaps when I was about 15 or 16. Now that I'm counting it, this fear has stayed with me for exactly 6 years already. It makes me very frightened of introducing sexual frames to conversations.

I am also pretty sure that many of the women who are acquainted with me criticize my sexual deficiencies. Because yes according to Seppuku, and I agree, they can instinctively tell which guys get the girls and which don't. There have been many many instances of this and I won't go into them.


That part of me doesn't want to change. He still wants to be a loser. It ends now.

I will muster the courage and sexualise my conversations with the full force of my determination and spirit. I'm going to zoom in on my fear of sexual themes and throw myself against it. As I have done with many of the fears I have previously overcome. It is a great fear. Thus, it is also a great gift. After I'm done with it, I will find a new me... who can lead myself and others to places unimagined... Then it will be time to fly!

 

[Mr STIF]

There's something about me that feels very lonely right now. And also very weak... and vulnerable...

I've been grinding very hard with my game for the past 5 days and results have been bad though I can feel my game is improving.

I would actually like to share something more personal about myself. This is not meant to be judgemental to any demographic of people. But just a bit of my story. The reason I would like to share this is so that there's no more way for me to back out of this.

I shared this with my daygame friend today, it's something that I realised about myself only after I daygamed for a while. And after I shared it with him I felt like a loser. Not that he made me feel that way but I just realised that the time to confront the greatest of my fears is approaching.

Story 1: In my teenage years, the most sexually-expressive and sexually-playful girls hurt in me in some ways. And I became very lonely because of that. There were, thankfully, girls in my life who at that same time went out of their way to really care for me. These women were attached to their partners in very serious relationships. They really really served me. Which is why I am at the surface level so drawn to them and so comfortable with them. I want to serve them because of how they served me. Here I am referring to women other than my mother.

Unfortunately, this has created 2 problems for me over the past 5 months as I've gone out to daygame.
1. I find that I am always drawn to and thus approaching married/engaged/seriously-attached women because the way that they dress draws me to them.
2. When I approach girls who do not fall into such categories, for some reason the approach goes less well, because I am less comfortable with them.

This is not to say that I believe it's impossible to get girls who are married/engaged/seriously-attached. It simply requires more skill and value than someone who is starting from scratch is going to have.


Story 2: I've also from quite long ago until now, been feeding a very strong fear of talking about sex with girls. This started at a point in time when I spent 4 months with a girl barely even touching her because I did not dare to. This was perhaps when I was about 15 or 16. Now that I'm counting it, this fear has stayed with me for exactly 6 years already. It makes me very frightened of introducing sexual frames to conversations.

I am also pretty sure that many of the women who are acquainted with me criticize my sexual deficiencies. Because yes according to Seppuku, and I agree, they can instinctively tell which guys get the girls and which don't. There have been many many instances of this and I won't go into them.


That part of me doesn't want to change. He still wants to be a loser. It ends now.

I will muster the courage and sexualise my conversations with the full force of my determination and spirit. I'm going to zoom in on my fear of sexual themes and throw myself against it. As I have done with many of the fears I have previously overcome. It is a great fear. Thus, it is also a great gift. After I'm done with it, I will find a new me... who can lead myself and others to places unimagined... Then it will be time to fly!

I also realised my fear of sexualizing conversations with women because I came from a very religious background. I became too nice to a fault- thinking that sex is immoral. That's why I make it a point to sexualize conversations especially during cold approach.

Here's my get-the-number process:
1. I see woman- this is where I use the three seconds rule so that AA doesn't kick in and set me back into procrastination.

2. I open woman- if you've been cold approaching for a while now. You'd have found out that the opener isn't a big deal but a means to transition into conversation with the stranger.

3. I sextalk with woman- I've caught myself several times being scared of sexualizing the conversation. And I've forced myself to break out of it. These days, I'm sexualizing on autopilot.

4. I exchange contact info: we exchange numbers on a high note. While the person is engulfed in the bubble of the moment(trance).

This is the routine I follow to create the right sexual frames between I and the girl which makes her want to meet up with me-to continue what we've ignited(attraction).

When I tried sexualizing convo for the first few times. It seemed so tryhard but as you know the rule is fake it till you make it.

Cold approach is a good place to practice sex talk, other than social circle where your reputation is at risk. What if you try it during cold approach? the worst that could happen is the girl will walk out on you and you wouldn't have to see her again neither will other people find out what transpired between the two of you.

How to conquer this fear is to face it by adding sex talk as a requirement in your cold approach. Sex talk gets me to the hook, other times I just create a cocky and funny vibe then I use light touches to make it sexual.

Anytime I'm in a conversation with a woman I'd be asking myself how to take it from platonic to sextalk then my subconscious mind just brings it in, naturally. It might be in the form of subtle touches, a sexy smirk and piercing eye contact or it may be through verbal, sexual frames, sex stories e.t.c

Brother man, I want you to just know that women love sex just as much as men but society would shame them for being openly sexual about it. So, if you as the Man won't stand up to elicit sexual interest then you'll never know which of these women want to get down with you.

Last words, always make the conversation man to woman. That is, take her hand and inspect her bracelet, look into her eyes in a way that says 'i wanna fuck you'. Don't be ashamed of it and some women will love you for it(as they are ashamed and would find you sexually intriguing for trying it with a stranger without being ashamed).

Mr Stif.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

fake it till you make it.

I'll see how it goes then.

Brother man, I want you to just know that women love sex just as much as men but society would shame them for being openly sexual about it. So, if you as the Man won't stand up to elicit sexual interest then you'll never know which of these women want to get down with you.

Alright. Noted. Yes. I suppose I have to step up to this. Thanks!

I will continue to update how things are going on this journal.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

So... things are not really looking up for those 17 dates. I have some leads now but they don't even feel too promising.

Approaches and results
27/8-3/9
86 approaches
28 non-blow-offs (i.e. Got blown off 58 times)
4 phone numbers
3 Short Insta-dates
1 Email address (Haha)

1 out of 17 dates so far only
From the Traveller's Gift "... that in the game of life, nothing is less important than the score at half-time."

Some changes to my life schedule
I'll see how it goes and just go on as many dates as possible. Not going to give up on this right now.
So my family has stepped into my life to say "Hey Y, u look free, now I want u to do [task that requires a pretty significant amount of time] for me". So what I'm going to do is genuinely spend about 4 hours a day working on what they've asked me to do and do no more than that.


Things that I have been doing:
Hardcore location scouting and changing daygame locations and timing
I realised that a lot of my game has been focussed in the more bustling parts of the city and thinking about it now that is where I precisely would not want to go and feel horrible after no guy has approached me the whole time I'm out if I actually was single.
Thus, I have changed my daygame to start targeting more shanty spots in town and I must say that I am finding the both the vibes AND the girls quite different.
The above daygame logic also applies to the timing of my daygame.
I realised that more single-looking girls come out on Monday and Tuesday afternoons because they don't want to feel horrible walking along the street and seeing all the other girls with their boyfriends. This was after spending a HECK TON of time scouting daygame locations this MONDAY-THURSDAY


Screening AGAINST obvious approach invitations
Idk how many of the people who read my journal this seems fked up to... but most of the approach invitations I get are FAKE.
In fact I get a HECK TON of AIs/IOIs/girls checking me out.
Before I figured this out, I would go up to them and talk to all of them and then they would smile their ass off and tell me oh... sooorrryyyyy... I'm married/attached/have a boyfriend
So I've decided that I will not approach girls that give me obvious approach invitations because... I've tried it real life, and they are not lying when they say they are not single. And they don't budge when I still ask them out.
This has happened at least 30 times over the past 2-3 weeks. So it is something I am going to respond to.

I have in fact adjusted my approaching to accomodate this over the past few days and I have actually been running into more single girls. This is may also be because I am:

Deliberately ALMOST NOT AT ALL going for girls who dress more maturely
Yes I definitely see a lot more of these girls alone. And I have met girls who wanted to fk who were dressed this way. But it's all about the numbers and where I'm at right now, I just need to start going on as many dates as possible. I can't be going out and just having 1 in 10 of my approaches go well.


The goals that I set myself on 11-Aug:
Not getting blown-off 4 out of 5 times:
I'll be honest with myself and say that I did not manage to achieve this result and I may not achieve this result by 11-Sep which is when I said I would achieve this result.
However, I am EXTREMELY PROUD of the amount that I have done to try to solve this problem. This is the list of shit that I have done:
1. Changed daygame locations to less flashy and quirkier places
2. Started to use/develop fashion sense to screen for women who are not single
3. Learning to and currently improving at noticing exactly how real approach invitations are. One thing I know is that the girl should be somehow submissively looking down, if she isn't then I know it's not real
4. Lowered my standards to start approaching uglier girls who are more likely to be single. Still learning to do this well. Learning to show more interest or get better at showing interest even if I'm less sexually attracted
5. Creating the excel spreadsheet questionaire to make observations
6. Updating the excel spreadsheet questionaire to account for new things I learnt.
7. Many more things

Note that I also changed my standard for what is a blow-off and what is not. I now consider the ending of an interaction due to the fact that a girl is not single a blow-off.
After experimenting with this for quite a few days, I believe that this is quite an unrealistic goal. The interesting thing though, is that having this goal has brought me to a better place.
I will keep working on improving my ability to find girls who are not single and extending my interactions with them regardless of the girl's quality and I will post the results here.


Building a social life
So I have started going for acting classes once a week, ballroom dancing once a week, and I'm going to sign up for a street-dancing project where I'll meetup with a group of people twice a week to work on a street-dance video shoot project for complete beginners.

I initially thought the acting class people were kinda boring, but I forced myself to go for it and I eventually found myself acting as quite a host to the bonding of the group unintentionally and that made me feel a level of validation that I really have not felt in a LOOOONNNNGGG time.
I've found that the pre-activity meet is usually where I really get to meet and connect with people.

The ballroom dance class is actually the one that is not turning out so well... in terms of making friends... I'll see how it goes after a month. I've already signed up for at least 3 more weeks of class

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

I'm going to close this journal. So that I can start anew.

Things haven't really been working out so well. I've tried a lot of things on my own and had a lot of opinions about this and that and some of them may be valid, some of them may not be. Whatever.

I realised what I'm missing is a tried and tested method for learning and getting better. I really want to get better at this so I thought I'd better change things up.

I bought and finished reading Chase's Ebook HTMGC. It seems that there has been some good feedback on the book on this forum and after reading it, it does feel like there's a very overall picture that you would not get just from 2+ years of reading GC articles (as is/was with what I've been doing so far).

So I'm going to start new journal and benchmark my learning based on HTMGC. Credits to YS and one of the GC articles for reminding me that u should just find one product and do exactly everything that it says to do... without mixing and matching.


That said,
I'm really glad that I kept this journal for the past 5 months.

Things that I have learnt over the past 5 months:
1. Started doing TRE twice a week. Though I have not contacted any TRE instructor to make sure that I'm getting the full benefit of the exercise. I will do that by the end of this week
2. Started building a social life. Signed up for an acting course and a dance course. Will be going for social activities at least twice if not thrice a week for the next 2 months. And plan to carry on beyond that. The goal is to see whether I can start making some regular friends who are girls from there.
3. Some pseudoknowledge on approaching from doing 700+ approaches. The thing is that I really never deliberately trained any one skill so I can't even say that I learned a lot. That's fine. From now on, I will treat things much more deliberately.
4. Resilience and the 7 decisions from the Traveler's Gift. Like wow. I didn't know how absolutely shitty it can feel. It really feels like shit. LIKE SHIT. Well I am not that much stronger. But definitely a fair bit stronger. I don't even have any fking skills right now. But I will keep pushing. I need to have faith.

I am going to start a new journal on the journals board and I will post the link here:

Y's journal revamped

After 5 months of trying to learn seduction, it hasn't been working out well... Very little results. When I do get results, they're super inconsistent. So I am going to just follow the method in Chase's HTMGC ebook as much as possible. That is the only goal of this journal. To document my...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[terminator92]

Your journal is inspiring! I just started one too though I used to keep one privately on my computer. Taking consistent action has been a problem for me as well which I will be working on. Keep the posts coming!