Girls Chase Equivalent for women?

jackal2020

Space Monkey
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Girls chase is primarily for men.

Have any of you discovered a site that is the “women’s equivalent”? That is, one that takes a principled, alternative perspective on dating (as a woman) and earning the lives and partners they want?
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a self-help book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, originally published in 1995.[1][2]

The book suggests rules that a woman should follow in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams; these rules include that a woman should be "easy to be with but hard to get".[3] The underlying philosophy of The Rules is that women should not aggressively pursue men, but rather, should encourage the men to pursue them. A woman who follows The Rules is called a Rules Girl.[2

  1. be a "Creature Unlike Any Other"
  2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
  3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
  4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
  5. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
  6. Always End Phone Calls First
  7. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
  8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date
  9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
  10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
  11. Always End the Date First
  12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
  13. Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
  14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
  15. Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
  16. Don't Tell Him What to Do
  17. Let Him Take the Lead
  18. Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
  19. Don't Open Up Too Fast
  20. Be Honest but Mysterious
  21. Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
  22. Don't Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
  23. Don't Date a Married Man
  24. Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children
  25. Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
  26. Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
  27. Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
  28. Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
  29. Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
  30. Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
  31. Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
  32. Don't Break The Rules
  33. Do The Rules and You'll Live Happily Ever After!
  34. Love Only Those Who Love You
  35. Be Easy to Live With
 

Skjöldr

Modern Human
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Messages
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The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a self-help book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, originally published in 1995.[1][2]

The book suggests rules that a woman should follow in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams; these rules include that a woman should be "easy to be with but hard to get".[3] The underlying philosophy of The Rules is that women should not aggressively pursue men, but rather, should encourage the men to pursue them. A woman who follows The Rules is called a Rules Girl.[2

  1. be a "Creature Unlike Any Other"
  2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
  3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
  4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
  5. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
  6. Always End Phone Calls First
  7. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
  8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date
  9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
  10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
  11. Always End the Date First
  12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
  13. Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
  14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
  15. Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
  16. Don't Tell Him What to Do
  17. Let Him Take the Lead
  18. Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
  19. Don't Open Up Too Fast
  20. Be Honest but Mysterious
  21. Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
  22. Don't Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
  23. Don't Date a Married Man
  24. Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children
  25. Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
  26. Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
  27. Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
  28. Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
  29. Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
  30. Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
  31. Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
  32. Don't Break The Rules
  33. Do The Rules and You'll Live Happily Ever After!
  34. Love Only Those Who Love You
  35. Be Easy to Live With
How to lock down a beta male provider: The guide
 

Chase

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Girls don’t need it, they are always being chased by men

The problem for women is not getting chased by men (who want sex).

The problem is getting the men they want to stick around and commit.

There's an entire dating industry targeted at women, with 'commitment' being the underlying theme.

Women buy dating advice products at roughly 3x the rate men do, based on the stats from guys I know who are in both niches.
 

Rain

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
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Women buy dating advice products at roughly 3x the rate men do, based on the stats from guys I know who are in both niches.

Does it make a big difference though? I mean if alot of what guys go for is looks/youth based, some women would become very stuck "in their league" as there is not too much variables for them to change, where as men have a lot more they can change[another dating/pua site mentioned this, men should be glad they have more variables they can control vs womens genes stuck for example something like that the message was]
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
1,664
Does it make a big difference though? I mean if alot of what guys go for is looks/youth based, some women would become very stuck "in their league" as there is not too much variables for them to change, where as men have a lot more they can change[another dating/pua site mentioned this, men should be glad they have more variables they can control vs womens genes stuck for example something like that the message was]

I would say it does.

Many women have very nice faces but not great fashion/hygiene and body positivity is making them think it's normal to be fat.

Many women have no idea how to use makeup right and they are stuck looking like "plain Jane".

Also, many otherwise stunning women have terrible atittudes.

And there's the shyness factor where some women won't even signal the guys they really want (instant auto-rejection).

Yeah, there is potential on both sides.
Perhaps you were thinking of the amazing girls you usually pay atention to but I assure you there´s a lot of girls your mind just ignores and they could benefit from these kind of tips.
 
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Chase

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Does it make a big difference though? I mean if alot of what guys go for is looks/youth based

That's not what most guys look for though. Any more than most girls look for wealth.

Do men prefer youth and beauty? Sure. But look at whom they're dating. Plenty of older, attractive guys dating older women.

It's always mystified me, personally. But guys like me (e.g., I have an age cap for the women I'll take) are a minority. Most men don't really care that much about youth/beauty/fertility.

Most men are in it more for a companion. Someone they get along well with, have shared life experiences with, and feel comfortable with. And they're a lot more likely to find that with a woman who is close in age to them, and a lot less likely to with a woman who is much younger.

Also -- a huge amount of attraction comes down to personality. You can compare "you + victim mentality & defeatism & low confidence" vs. a self-improved you. Now imagine "her + victim mentality & defeatism & low confidence" vs. a self-improved her. The attractiveness of the different version of a person are worlds away different. You're also going to attract very different people into your life... victims attract victimizers, and other victims, or they get self-sacrificing heroes. Whichever it is, you're on the train to "dysfunctional relationship land." People who turn themselves into just normal healthy people though get normal healthy partners and have normal healthy relationships.

Female game makes a huge difference though... I've been planning an article on it for some time.

But there's a reason Belisarius, one of the greatest, manliest, most victorious heroes of Constantinople was a complete whipped cuckold at home, and it's not because he was secretly a pussy, but because he was like most men, and he was so busy with male affairs that he had no idea he was walking into a trap, because the chick he married had way tight game. And by the time he realized it and tried to kick her out she already had her claws in him too deep and there was just no helping him at that point.

Learning game is very good for women, just as it is for men.

However, whereas men are mostly learning "How do I seduce this girl and make her helpless to jump on my dick?" women are mostly learning "How do I put this man completely under my spell and make him helpless to ever leave me?"

Chase
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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There's an entire dating industry targeted at women, with 'commitment' being the underlying theme.

Here's something a little off-topic but I think it's very interesting.

I have an online coaching business (mostly helping wannapreneurs) and it is really interesting for me to watch what other people do in different spaces.
What I have noted in the female dating programs sales pages is the "commitment" message that @Chase mentions and also the "get chosen" message.

This is an interesting female paradigm.
While men are wondering what they should do to GET the hottest women, women are wondering what they should do so they get SELECTED by top men.

Something to keep in mind when dealing with women.
 

Rakkum

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
198
But there's a reason Belisarius, one of the greatest, manliest, most victorious heroes of Constantinople was a complete whipped cuckold at home, and it's not because he was secretly a pussy, but because he was like most men, and he was so busy with male affairs that he had no idea he was walking into a trap, because the chick he married had way tight game. And by the time he realized it and tried to kick her out she already had her claws in him too deep and there was just no helping him at that point.

EDIT: off-topic

Interesting, didn't know this about Belisarius.

This is something that history books (modern ones at least) seem to avoid discussing. The legacy of a great man is often intimately tied to his skills with women and relationships. Aurelius comes to mind. Championed as a great philospher (I too love reading his Meditations) and one of the Good Emperors but he did really fuck things up with by, unlike his predcessors, left the throne to his son. Not sure though what was the role of the mother of Commodus.
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
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Messages
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Girls chase is primarily for men.

Have any of you discovered a site that is the “women’s equivalent”? That is, one that takes a principled, alternative perspective on dating (as a woman) and earning the lives and partners they want?

It depends on what aspect your looking for.

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/ - looks (there are a bunch of beauty forums, but this is specifically about not attractive girls changing their looks to appeal to men, not just look glamorous or stylish)
  2. https://www.reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy/ - (basically how to identify "low value men" with value not about net worth, but I'd say personal/emotional service)
  3. https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum - aspiring and veteran sugar babies, and how to get more money out of men. The stripper and poledancing forums also have nuggets on dating/male manipulation.
  4. www.lipstickalley.com - it's focused on black women, but the philosophy/strategy/tactics are pretty much the same across the board. A far more defensive posture than the mainstream, imo.
  5. The "Call Me Daddy" podcast is good insight on feminine wiles as well. Lena the Plug is on No Jumper. (youtube) And I think they were trying to do a spin off featuring Hot Girls and their Exploits.

There is a lot more dating stuff by and for women because they generally control the narrative on what is and isn't acceptable. You'll notice that in the mainstream media, it's women that generally author dating and relationships articles. A straight male perspective is rare to see, unless the guy is a trained medical professional. And even in those cases, he's paired with a woman that offers her perspective.

For the prime market - 18-21 (AAA), they don't really come together and talk about dating. the 22-25 is the AA. You'll see stuff on Twitter if you follow hot and chatty girls, but you're digesting a lot of garbage to get gold.

The discussions don't really kick in until 25, and chicks are hitting The Wall. Their really cute friends are getting married, and they're noticing "young bitches" at the club. Soon this girl will only go to bars, and then wine bars. They have money at that age, so a lot of media and advertising caters to them. They still have more interest than they know what to do with, but the highest status/most attractive guys are calling less and less.

By 35, it's over for most, and that's where you see a ton of advice. If you want to see the panic, frequent yoga, pilates, diet forums.

A chick that is still "MILF Hot" at 35 will probably be that hot for another 10-15 years, but she's "enjoying" the attention of Silver Fox's. (Think Wendi Deng - she's got an enviable body count for most women).

The key to reading things aimed at older women, is that they often discuss the younger woman mentality and tactics.

"I used to just.."

Women don't change, because people don't change. So the slang and lines will change, but the mentality won't.

In general, guys don't have enough detachment to read these things dispassionately. They react more than read.

Good luck.
 

Chase

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This is something that history books (modern ones at least) seem to avoid discussing. The legacy of a great man is often intimately tied to his skills with women and relationships. Aurelius comes to mind. Championed as a great philospher (I too love reading his Meditations) and one of the Good Emperors but he did really fuck things up with by, unlike his predcessors, left the throne to his son. Not sure though what was the role of the mother of Commodus.

You may have read, but I compared Marcus Aurelius against Lucius Brutus here:


It's unrecorded the exact role Faustina (his wife) played, but she was a.) constantly cheating on Marcus, meanwhile b.) he went around praising her chastity, despite everyone in Rome knowing she was having all these affairs. Which suggests she had him under her spell, and I would deduce, knowing women, she'd have been whispering in his ear or complaining to him until he agreed to make their son his successor.

Chase
 

Rain

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That's not what most guys look for though. Any more than most girls look for wealth.


So most guys want X[youth/looks], but can't have X so settle. But surely wealth is not what women want?
eg, if men desire youth/looks as no1, surely the thing most woman desire the most, as no1, is not wealth, surely? surely it would be .... trying to remember one of Hector videos... something about a woman would rather one night with an alpha dude or high status guy, than a LTR of a guy saying he loves her?

Do men prefer youth and beauty? Sure. But look at whom they're dating. Plenty of older, attractive guys dating older women.

It's always mystified me, personally. But guys like me (e.g., I have an age cap for the women I'll take) are a minority. Most men don't really care that much about youth/beauty/fertility.
They prefer youth and beauty = yes youth and beauty no1 for most men
guys like me are a minority = yes youth and beauty no1 for most men
Most men don't really care that much about youth and beauty = no. youth and beauty not no1 for most men
You changed your opinion in the same post.

I thought most men preferred that. Why are so many magazines filled with 'beautiful' women? I understand if men dont think they can get X, so they go for personality from a practical point of view. But above, you've given two different conclusions and yeah.... I thought it was most men preferred that, wanted that, just coudn't get it so settled. But your last line there "men don't really care much about youth and beauty" would indicate that my thinking was wrong and that most men actually go for personality before looks, in what they desire in a woman as no1.
 
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Velasco

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@Rain

Most men prefer attractive girls (doesn't matter if she's 18 or 28) with personalities that are compatible to their own for long term consideration (there are of course other factors besides personality that go into this decision making process, but for simplicity sake I'll just stick to personality compatibility here) VS an attractive girl without (it gets boring real fast with these girls cause your kinda forcing it and you know it).

For short term relationships, however, most men just care about if she passes their boner test (at LEAST a 7 to them) and that she's down to fuck (and most girls just want charismatic guys (young or old) that are at LEAST a 7 (cute) to them).

Some men (and girls) don't (talking about those in the 4-7 range (which is the vast majority of PUAs).

They ONLY want to sleep with the most beautiful women (9s and 10s) out there and she can't be older than 23 or whatever other list of superficial qualities she/he can't have or has to have..........which translates into a lot of lonely nights.

"A lot of PUAs would rather get NO PUSSY than to hook up with a girl that was average or didn't earn the approval/social points from his entire group of friends" - GoodLookingLoser.

You don't get "points" for banging 7s around here.

But is that what you're really after?
 

Chase

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@Rain,

I don't know if I'd call it settling. I have known older guys who dated young, beautiful women, but didn't enter long-term relationships with them. Instead they entered LTRs with women their age.

I have an uncle in his 60s like this. He can/did shag young and good-looking women. But didn't get into an LTR until it was with a chick he went to high school with. I just looked at it and was like, "Man, this chick seems cool, but she is old, wrinkled, and infertile. He could have a young gal to make more babies with. *shrug* to each his own, I suppose."

You realize over time that different men have very different drives.

Like, what is the primary utility of a woman to you? Is it:

  • To have low/no-responsibility sex with
  • To tote around as a status symbol
  • To make babies with
  • To have as a companion
  • To nurture and take care of you
Etc.

A guy who wants a woman as a status symbol or to pop out his spawn is going to care a lot about youth and beauty.

A guy who wants a companion or a nurturer or no-strings sex is going to care a lot less about those things.

But surely wealth is not what women want?
eg, if men desire youth/looks as no1, surely the thing most woman desire the most, as no1, is not wealth, surely? surely it would be .... trying to remember one of Hector videos... something about a woman would rather one night with an alpha dude or high status guy, than a LTR of a guy saying he loves her?

Women, again, are like men, in that there is a variety of different drives and objectives different women have, which lead them to different most-desired outcomes.

Wealth is like youth/beauty to a man, in that most all women would prefer their man have it versus not, but its degree of importance varies a lot between different women.

I thought most men preferred that. Why are so many magazines filled with 'beautiful' women? I understand if men dont think they can get X, so they go for personality from a practical point of view. But above, you've given two different conclusions and yeah.... I thought it was most men preferred that, wanted that, just coudn't get it so settled. But your last line there "men don't really care much about youth and beauty" would indicate that my thinking was wrong and that most men actually go for personality before looks, in what they desire in a woman as no1.

All men prefer it.

For some men, it outranks all other qualities on their lists.

For other men, it's farther down on the list.

Most men (even most men who are good with women) struggle to find women who are absolutely everything on their lists. So they prioritize, based on what is most important to them.

A guy for whom beauty is #2 on his list and nurturing is #10 and companionship is #12 is going to pick very differently than a guy for whom companionship is #1, nurturing is #4, and beauty is #9.

Chase
 

Rain

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Wealth is like youth/beauty to a man, in that most all women would prefer their man have it versus not, but its degree of importance varies a lot between different women.

We may have had a miscommunication. When you used wealth as a "parallel", I thought you meant wealth was not just a preference, but actually the no1 thing for most women, eg the parallel equivalent of most men no1 thing being youth/beauty. But you only meant wealth was a yes preference, eg , its not a no1 parallel, is that the correct understanding?
 
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Sub-Zero

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I’m assuming all the advice here trumps even the best women dating advice.

So there’s no need to worry about out gaming women who might read dating advice right?
 

Chase

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@Rain,

The real beauty-equivalent for female-to-male attraction is confidence. A confident man to women is as a beautiful woman is to men.

Youth in women is closer to wealth in men.

In general, the most men prize beauty; but many of them don't prize youth nearly as much. e.g., guys talking about "a beautiful 43-year-old woman."

Likewise, in general most women prize confidence; but many don't prize wealth nearly as much. e.g., a gaggle of soccer moms with well-earning husbands swooning over their sons' manly, confident Little League coach (who doesn't make nearly as much as their husbands, but is confident, and holds a position of relative authority).


@Sub-Zero,

I’m assuming all the advice here trumps even the best women dating advice.

So there’s no need to worry about out gaming women who might read dating advice right?

I wouldn't worry about women reading dating advice, if all they're doing is reading it.

Same as any woman doesn't really need to worry about a man who is only reading dating advice, if all he's doing is reading it.

Now... if she is actually highly experienced with men... and goes out and implements what she learns, and internalizes it, and gets good with it... that might be a different story...

But generally speaking, the number of women who are advanced daters is like the number of men who are advanced daters: there are not very many of them..

Chase
 
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