Re: Being a late bloomer has me chasing drama, validation, and sex isn't enough.
@Skid,
That's the big kicker brother! Becoming process oriented and simply finding validation in committing to your process and simply improving more and more everyday! Tyler RSD has mentioned in his videos becoming process oriented rather than results oriented is a huge part to not only playing the game but succeeding in life in general!
I do understand what I need to be doing and in situations like with the soccer player... I know what I should do but I go and do the opposite sometimes, due to being unable to control my emotions and reactivity; however it has gotten better over my few months studying here at GC; I find in MOST situations like that now I can control myself because I know it's not conducive to the success (most follow the process), and while I don't have as much reference experience as more advanced guys that have been doing the same process for years; simply noticing things like: "Being unreactive and giving a day of radio silence between a second persistent text" and "Always continuing to persist in a positive manner", I've actually seen the results when following my process! I've also seen the negative results due to NOT following my process (losing good leads, becoming reactive and depressed).
Also the career focus will help me, it's relevant to Savage's post about having a stronger life goal; when I'm preoccupied and focused about going to the gym and selling houses/modeling/school I don't care as much and I've noticed I'm unreactive and rarely get depressed; just gotta get my priorities straight
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@Oh Pry,
It's really true though what Chase and Hector have talked about... even when I was at the top of my social scene "the bros" "the hot girls" "the popular kids" they could always tell there was something a little off about me (especially when I was saying dumb shit like "No Popular kids/No Jocks allowed at this party", you cannot lead a group of people if you don't give a shit about them/want to hurt them. Again the "Bitter Man" analogy struck home with me as well, I was extremely bitter and angry and it did work somewhat but never with the super hot positive framed girls and guys that I wanted (the girls I got and "cool kids" I rolled with always had some god damn issues). Negativity cannot mix with positive frames; they'll just sense something off about you.
Even if it had, it's a ton of fucking work to continuously lead a massive group like that; nobody could understand while I cut communication to the party/EDM scene and deleted my Facebook, like they legit couldn't understand because everyone was jealous of my "Amazing super fun life".
You can certainly fight your way to the top in a negative frame state like I did but you'll deal with tons of issues, secretly despise everyone you lead and a fair amount of them will still see through you. If you really want that come at it from a positive frame state first; my old business partner has an investor that needs him to run a new nightclub they're opening, he asked me to help, I finally feel ok jumping back in to the scene because I did a shit ton of work on myself and got away from hating people.
Again I'll also mention the defining fact of what you want cannot happen, even when I was at the very top; the popular kids and those who were already "High Status" did NOT give a shit about me or pay any attention to me (I'm talking about the kids from my particular high school that I graduated with and wanted to get back at. They were either super nice to me (like you'd be to an annoying little brother) or had no idea who I was. It really helps to simply instead stop worrying about these people and focus on you, BUILD YOUR SOCIAL GROUP, full of powerful people you like that have awesome parties and super hot girls (like what I'm focused on right now). On Friday night I interacted with and number closed this super hot poplar girl that was in the grade above me in high school, she didn't remember me but it was a great, positive interaction with a fair amount of light flirting. Did it go anywhere? Nope, she had no idea who I was the next day (thought I was some chick named Kait lol), but the reason I was able to have that interaction is because I don't hate girls like that anymore (or those girls in particular), had I still maintained my old mindset I'd have said some dumb shit and my nonverbals and vibe would be off; plus I'd care waaaay too much and currently be bitching somewhere in the forums about it.
I hope this helps, don't go down this road, it's not worth it (waste of time and energy). Also I had the same mentality about "Helping the little guy", you cannot be both part of the cool kid crowd while simultaneously "Helping the little guy", I'd know I tried that too.
@BBoy,
Let me know next time you're in town haha, we need to go out and run some nightgame again.
@Chase
Chase said:
Wanting to help the little guy and screw over the cool kids does not make you an attractive leader candidate to the cool kids. At best, it makes you an attractive leader candidate to the little guys (who, by definition, are NOT cool and high status).
You're talking about wanting to lead the cool kids out of one side of your mouth, then wanting to trash and malign them from the other. Nobody's going to follow a guy who wants to smash him to build someone else up in his stead.
Until you love and respect and admire and want to help the "cool kids", around the cool kids you will not be.
Literally where I used to be at brother, wish I'd discovered GC back then; I probably wouldn't have listened at the time though but this is literally one of the biggest issues I used to have when I was running events and it tended to make me extremely disliked by certain groups.
@Hector
I'm really looking forward to reading your book when it comes out! I tend to do pretty well at Cold Approach and Online Game but Social Circle is where I'm lacking.