- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,225
So I had the time to reflect some more on it, it is still no doubt in my mind that missing out on the social experience of college has been soul sucking as hell. I have already seen so much success in my life on the outside too, much better job in a much cooler city and my results on dating apps are literally through the roof but after all of this, I cannot be happy. At times I keep thinking back to what I could have had in college and it is that sense of belonging, that sense of community, friends, and a social tribe to be a part of. Even if I went back now, it would seem odd to me trying to be an old man who wants to fit in with college kids. Even past the age of 22, I just feel like you are old and will never really fit in the same way you could have when you were 18.
I thought more about more about this, why I feel so miserable, run-down, and cannot appreciate the awesome shit life has thrown my way in the past few months. It's like I am in such emotional and mental pain, have been that way, for such a long time because I had such a god awful college experience that scarred the living shit out of me. So I thought about it, I thought what could make me happy. What I came to realize is that being in a community of lots and lots of like-minded people in a similar situation as me.
I am single, in my 20s, and want to go out to drink, have fun, and cool social experiences with others in a similar situation. At its root, that is what college was really about, that is what I missed and that is what I want to be a part of. I want to be a part of a large network of people going through the same things as me in life, stuff I just listed out.
But why the misery? Why these limiting beliefs? Why so much pain on my end?
Because it seems like everywhere I turn, everywhere I go, and everywhere I look they keep saying college was the last straw. They keep saying college was as good as it got and the rest after that is leftovers. They keep trying to shove it on to me that it is college then family and kids or college then losing your life in your job. They keep saying everything was better in college. They keep showing college kids as the fun group of people, college kids as cool, college kids as the people who get to have all the real fun, college kids as the ones who embody freedom and topnotch social experiences, and college kids are portrayed as the fun types living the best days of their lives.
My god, am I either coming on to a truth or is the power of media and society really that fucking powerful....
My mind wonders, it wanders, and it keeps thinking about it. If I would ever find my community and if due to the changing times, maybe communities of people in similar situations are becoming more and more and more common but I am turning a blind eye. Lots of work to do, my mind is overwhelmed, I cannot see the light at the end of this social life tunnel sometimes.
I thought more about more about this, why I feel so miserable, run-down, and cannot appreciate the awesome shit life has thrown my way in the past few months. It's like I am in such emotional and mental pain, have been that way, for such a long time because I had such a god awful college experience that scarred the living shit out of me. So I thought about it, I thought what could make me happy. What I came to realize is that being in a community of lots and lots of like-minded people in a similar situation as me.
I am single, in my 20s, and want to go out to drink, have fun, and cool social experiences with others in a similar situation. At its root, that is what college was really about, that is what I missed and that is what I want to be a part of. I want to be a part of a large network of people going through the same things as me in life, stuff I just listed out.
But why the misery? Why these limiting beliefs? Why so much pain on my end?
Because it seems like everywhere I turn, everywhere I go, and everywhere I look they keep saying college was the last straw. They keep saying college was as good as it got and the rest after that is leftovers. They keep trying to shove it on to me that it is college then family and kids or college then losing your life in your job. They keep saying everything was better in college. They keep showing college kids as the fun group of people, college kids as cool, college kids as the people who get to have all the real fun, college kids as the ones who embody freedom and topnotch social experiences, and college kids are portrayed as the fun types living the best days of their lives.
My god, am I either coming on to a truth or is the power of media and society really that fucking powerful....
My mind wonders, it wanders, and it keeps thinking about it. If I would ever find my community and if due to the changing times, maybe communities of people in similar situations are becoming more and more and more common but I am turning a blind eye. Lots of work to do, my mind is overwhelmed, I cannot see the light at the end of this social life tunnel sometimes.