Is it wrong that even though i did manage to get a girlfriend, finally get some success, i still feel like an incel? because i was a late bloomer?

[SteelbookCollector]

Yes, i'm completely aware that we can't change the past, duh i know that!, thank you for stating the obvious, thats what i say to people when they tell me stuff like that, i also get very annoyed and irritated, enraged, whenever people say that, even though its the cold harsh truth. But i will admit, i didn't really date much in my 20s, i didn't really have a breakthough or milestone in my dating life until near the end of my 20s.

I didn't really have a girlfriend until i was near 30, 29, which only lasted a few months, but first long-term relationship that lasted for more than a year, was not until 33.

While i'm glad i did have these experiences, glad it finally eventually happend to me, i still feel filled with constant bitterness and anger, resentment, and even depression, sadness at times that i was a late bloomer, that it didn't happen for me around the time it is normally expected to happen for people, such as either your teenage years or the beginning of your 20s. So because of that, i envy and resent, get bitter and resentful towards people who got to experience dating and relationships before i did.

But more importantly, its a reminder on how i've always hated and resented the dynamics of the game, seduction, courtship, between the 2 sexes.

Because for all-time, this is what the game looks like or how it is, and whenever people say "thats the way it is", it just fills me with more anger and rage, resentment, frustration, hate the way reality has to be. Here it is, guys, men, have to talk a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way, have certain behaviors, we have to know or learn all of these skills, behaviors, things, so many stuff, just to have a chance with women.

i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.


here it is right here.

i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.

True or False?

A woman doesn't need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with men, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with women.

Or another way to put it, the way the man talks, acts, behaves, in interactions or conversations is what ultimately matters, thats what determines if the woman is gonna be attracted, interested or not, not the other way around.

However, i did hear this from another dating coach, and here it was:

"A conversation or interaction will go much more smoothly if a woman is also emotionally tuned in and has a high EQ(don't know what that stands for though). However, the burden tends normally fall on men."

I'm not afraid to admit that over the years, i have really hated being born male, being born the male gender.

that men have to do everything in dating and relationships and seduction.

Yes I know tons of people say what's the point of being angry and depressed over what didn't happen in the past or not?

Well I'm entitled and I have a right to my mindset, I believe it's always been part of human nature or just the human psyche to always be sad and depressed or angry and resentful over good things that they wish happened to them in the past but didn't.

I know I'm not afraid to admit I have had these thoughts, and I'm sure other guys have thought this way, we feel that if we had been born a woman, we would not have been single that long.

Probably because women just have to exist and they are guaranteed attention and options from Men, that requires no skill or no social dynamics, no game or no seduction. I know its best to don't worry about what others don't have to do, i don't disagree with that, focus on you and what you need to do, that is the better mindset to have, but i get annoyed and irritated, enraged, that there are even dating coaches for women, because i don't see how women need to learn on how to attract men or let alone get men, since for all time, they have always been the passive recipients, i don't see how that requires any learning or any skill-development.

One person I remember I heard said that women need game as well which I thought was the stupidest thing I ever heard.

So ya I still feel like an incel for all time despite managing to get a girlfriend eventually, and I still get irritated and annoyed whenever people and society say that men have it better than women do in the human mating game.

I get annoyed when people say go see a therapist because it's not like a therapist can reset my life or have me start my life all over again. I spoke in a few other guys who feel the same way in regards to being forever angry and upset, sad, over never having had a girlfriend until later than normal, until late in life.

Probably because guys and men have to learn and know all of these skills, all of these social behaviors, talk and behave a certain way, act a certain way, walk a certain way or have a certain lifestyle, have a certain body, certain income, and more than that which I either don't know or forgot.

Women are pretty much basically all set for just being born and just existing. Because being pretty and beautiful is not a skill and it doesn't require any learning, it's not a behavior that takes training. Yes, i know, i'm aware, even Chase wrote an article titled "Don't compare yourself to Women", i don't disagree with that, however some parts of the article did make me angry, but in the end, its best to worry about ourselves, i just don't see how women need to learn how to date as well when the man is the doing doing everything, the one making everything happen. It just really feels me with anger and rage whenever people and Society have the mindset or still think men have it better than women do in dating or just human mating in general.

I'll never forget what one guy said and this only added fuel to fire in regards to my anger and rage about the cards on dealt with for being born male.

"Boo fucking hoo. We also don't have to go through child birth and we're strong as fuck. Testosterone gives us ambition + mental and physical strength that MANY (not all) women are lacking. Being a man has many benefits and with great power comes great responsibility. Stop crying about it and get your fucking shit together"

Let's just say that pissed me off even further, got me so mad, that its not appropriate for me to say what was going through my mind when i read that comment that pissed me off even further.

Yes I know there's no such thing as fairness but I'm not afraid to admit that over the years in my life I've hated being born a guy or I just feel that it is unfair being born a man. Yes I'm aware there's no such thing as fairness, I just get very angry and enraged whenever people and Society still think men have it better than women do.

Yeah, despite having some success with girls, i still feel like a forever permanent incel for all-time.

I'm sure there are other men in the world who feel like i do, who were late bloomers, and they feel forever permanently damaged mentally and emotionally because of their late start, but many just won't bother to disclose or admit it.

 

[topcat]

I'm sure there are other men in the world who feel like i do, who were late bloomers, and they feel forever permanently damaged mentally and emotionally because of their late start, but many just won't bother to disclose or admit it

What exactly is the intention for this post?

A call to arms for the hidden incels in this forum?

Wrong place for that

Sympathy?

Wrong place for that

You wish you were born a woman?

Lucky for you, there is a solution for that *snip* *snip*

Want to get over your depression?

see here

Want to learn to get and love women as a 30-something ex-depressed ex-incel late-bloomer.

You’re in luck, this is the place for you!

Do women need game? it depends..
When you’re new to it all and just want the attention of a women, their finesse doesn’t much matter to you as you’d be happy just to caress the skin of most any woman. But gain some experience and a woman having some level of “game” or social decorum becomes necessary. Many women will turn you off with the utterances that pass their lips.

Are women and relationships important to you?

Do you like women? Do you want women?

If so why? or why not?

Do you enjoy being bitter and angry or do you feel there may be a better/more constructive pleasant way to live your life? and if so do you have any ideas as to what way that might be?

 

[SteelbookCollector]

What exactly is the intention for this post?

A call to arms for the hidden incels in this forum?

Wrong place for that

Sympathy?

Wrong place for that

You wish you were born a woman?

Lucky for you, there is a solution for that *snip* *snip*

Want to get over your depression?

see here

Want to learn to get and love women as a 30-something ex-depressed ex-incel late-bloomer.

You’re in luck, this is the place for you!

Do women need game? it depends..
When you’re new to it all and just want the attention of a women, their finesse doesn’t much matter to you as you’d be happy just to caress the skin of most any woman. But gain some experience and a woman having some level of “game” or social decorum becomes necessary. Many women will turn you off with the utterances that pass their lips.

Are women and relationships important to you?

Do you like women? Do you want women?

If so why? or why not?

Do you enjoy being bitter and angry or do you feel there may be a better/more constructive pleasant way to live your life? and if so do you have any ideas as to what way that might be?

yup because only guys, men, are the only gender that have to be solution-oriented, and yes, obviously for all time, men typically don't get as much sympathy or emotional support as much as women do. Reminds me of a quote that also angered me a lot, when someone said "at least the road of doing work has rewards". But ya, a part of the intention of this post is, why should a guy, man, why does he not have the right to feel forever angry and bitter, resentful, because he had a late start, he didn't have a girlfriend or becoming sexually active until later than normal, and why is it still better to be born a man in human mating, seduction?

Because women can get away with learned helplessness and still have options, but men can't.

 

[topcat]

yup because only guys, men, are the only gender that have to be solution-oriented, and yes, obviously for all time, men typically don't get as much sympathy or emotional support as much as women do. Reminds me of a quote that also angered me a lot, when someone said "at least the road of doing work has rewards". But ya, a part of the intention of this post is, why should a guy, man, why does he not have the right to feel forever angry and bitter, resentful, because he had a late start, he didn't have a girlfriend or becoming sexually active until later than normal, and why is it still better to be born a man in human mating, seduction?

Because women can get away with learned helplessness and still have options, but men can't.

if women have it so well, and being a man sucks as bad as you say it does, why not just transition? there’s a whole “movement” of “incels” that do that btw

 

[SteelbookCollector]

ya reminds me of certain other comments over the years that have only added fuel to fire in terms of making me angry and really pissed me off about this. But ya, men have to know all these behaviors and talk a certain way, etc.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

@SteelbookCollector

1. Read what moaners and incels have in common

2. Seek therapy, your questions are beyond the scope of this forum (Respectfully)

 

[TomInHo]

Get therapy

Life is too short to be angry and miserable about nothing

 

[Chase]

That's a whole heckuva lot of comparing yourself to women.

Do Not Compare Yourself to Women

"Women have it easier." Well sure, in many ways they do. But YOU are not in competition with women. There is a thing I have seen online (not so much in real life, but perhaps I'm not socializing with the right guys for it in real life) where guys complain about how easy women have it or how much...

www.girlschase.com

The post itself is made from a feminine standpoint, not seeking solutions, but wanting to vent and "be heard."

I'm not afraid to admit that over the years in my life I've hated being born a guy or I just feel that it is unfair being born a man. Yes I'm aware there's no such thing as fairness, I just get very angry and enraged whenever people and Society still think men have it better than women do.

"I wish I was born a woman."

"I wish guys competed to fuck me, promising me love and commitment, only to ditch me after they busted a nut in me."

"I wish society told me I could get a degree in anything I wanted and be super successful, and then I ended up being stuck in a dead-end HR job dealing with petty bullshit trying to feel important but failing."

"I wish I lived my life passively waiting, getting my hopes up when a nice guy finally looked my way, only to feel deflated when I see his girlfriend much hotter than I am walk over and give him a kiss."

"I wish I gave up my career to watch the children I birthed, growing resentful at the children's father who stays out late drinking with his buddies and sits around on his ass whenever he's at home, while I chase around the toddlers and try to get the older ones to do their homework, feeling alone and abandoned while I wonder if he's still faithful and doubt about it."

"I wish I spent my days impotently wishing I'd been born a man, because life would be so much easier, because the grass is always greener on the other side."

Chase

 

[orkie123]

It's easy to say women have it easier but like the examples Chase gave, the grass is always greener... Imagine being born a woman without 'pleasing to the eye' features. Imagine having to sift through thousands of men to find the few that actually care about you as a person.

I don't know where I read it, but I think it was at GC - if women didn't need game and could rely on beauty alone to find good partners, all strippers would be married with the rich, powerful, gentlemen of the world. And that doesn't seem to happen.

Women's game might be less active than a man's but I wouldn't say easier, just different.

 

[Wick]

Without a doubt, being a man is more fun.

But yes, you have to put in the work. Fortunately, even that is very rewarding and satisfying, since men are wired to enjoy striving and building.

Sounds like you have some unresolved inner conflicts and emotions, that should be processed. I'd recommend therapies like TRE and my favorite "Focusing". https://www.focusingtherapy.org/for-clients/find-therapist/

I'd also recommend you grab a book on Stoicism and start to meditate.

Life is fucking fantastic, but dealing with heavy unresolved emotions can cloud your thinking and make it less enjoyable.

Your problem is not the past, it's you hanging onto it.


And yes, sorry to tell you again since you don't like to hear it but life is not fair. Doesn't owe you a damn thing.

But men hear that and get depressed and disempowered thinking that is the whole story.

There is a VERY important truth that is part of that. Life is not fair, but YOU have the power to play the fucking game and win. You have the ability to grow. Humans are very adaptable, trainable, and growth orientated. Yes SUCKS a little bit to force yourself to do it (mostly at the beginning when you're destroying the weak part of the ego), but it is WORTH every ounce of effort, and the funny thing is that you can learn to love that "outside the comfort zone" feeling.

So resolve those emotions and light a fire under your ass. We are men here. We will treat you like a man.

 

[DarkKnight]

Without a doubt, being a man is more fun.

But yes, you have to put in the work. Fortunately, even that is very rewarding and satisfying, since men are wired to enjoy striving and building.

Being a man is more fun when we are more enlightened and redpilled (not this current bullshit mainstream redpill). until then being a man can be very hard depending on your background and luck.

The biggest problem is that society raises you with false expectations trying to groom you into a worker drone. That is the reason a lot of these guys are failing so hard and being miserable.

 

[ulrich]

So, you weren’t much successful with women on your first 30 years in this planet, but… did you accomplish anything with that time?

There is nothing to be ashamed of if you were building your life in that time.

Here’s the thing… modern life is very complex… you “need” to be healthy, finish university, build a career, be independent, make money, know how to socialize, learn to exercise, travel, find love… and at the same time keep on track of the trends of the masses.

Just trying to live a modern life is a lot of work.
That’s why you don’t normally see guys who have “everything” handled before their 30s.

Under 30 self made millionaire with tons of charisma and versed in seduction?? That’s extremely extremely rare.


So, it’s OK if it takes you a while.

And it is OK if some of your success comes after.

As a man, you are time protected… your youth is not really a big attraction factor to women. That’s a boon you get.

Have you been using your time to build yourself into a successful man?
If yes, who cares when you got a girlfriend?

If not… well, boy… you still have a long way to go.

 

[TomInHo]

Ok I finally read OP’s novel… skimmed through the first time

And a few things really stood out

While i'm glad i did have these experiences, glad it finally eventually happend to me, i still feel filled with constant bitterness and anger, resentment, and even depression, sadness at times that i was a late bloomer, that it didn't happen for me around the time it is normally expected to happen for people, such as either your teenage years or the beginning of your 20s. So because of that, i envy and resent, get bitter and resentful towards people who got to experience dating and relationships before i did.

Why would you be bitter once you got what you wanted?

Even if it took that long why does it matter? You can still enjoy the fruits of your labor now

Because for all-time, this is what the game looks like or how it is, and whenever people say "thats the way it is", it just fills me with more anger and rage, resentment, frustration, hate the way reality has to be. Here it is, guys, men, have to talk a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way, have certain behaviors, we have to know or learn all of these skills, behaviors, things, so many stuff, just to have a chance with women.

Men also have to learn how to talk and act a certain way to get a job, make a living and get good social ranking in society… not just to get with women

Expecting to not have to put effort into anything and getting rewarded is pure delusion

i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.

That’s true to a point. But that is also an amazing thing

Because it means your life is not a closed system. And by picking up some skills you can open up the door to infinite possibilities

Also you’re very wrong about women not having to do anything

If a woman is fat, hideous and has a horrible personality there’s almost no chance she is going to be able to get a charming, handsome and rich playboy to ever commit to her

But if that same girl were to lose some weight, get a boob job, bbl and develop a flirtatious personality she will have way more options

I mean think about it. Why are the makeup and female fashion industry worth over trillions of dollars combined and growing every year?

The truth is the average female puts in more work to be sexually attractive than the average male

But you probably don’t notice that because like you said “that’s just the way it is”

True or False?

A woman doesn't need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with men, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with women.

False as I explained above

Or another way to put it, the way the man talks, acts, behaves, in interactions or conversations is what ultimately matters, thats what determines if the woman is gonna be attracted, interested or not, not the other way around.

Speak for yourself lol

I’ve had women say things or behave in ways that made me not want to fuck them

Guys can get turned off too

I'm not afraid to admit that over the years, i have really hated being born male, being born the male gender.

Then go become a woman. It’s 2023 and there are solutions to this problem

Yes I know tons of people say what's the point of being angry and depressed over what didn't happen in the past or not?

Well I'm entitled and I have a right to my mindset, I believe it's always been part of human nature or just the human psyche to always be sad and depressed or angry and resentful over good things that they wish happened to them in the past but didn't.

Yes you’re entitled to be angry but you’re also entitled to be happy as well

But the truth is you don’t want to be happy

You’re addicted to negative emotions and love feelings this way

In fact that’s why you made this post. For validation and hope that someone will say something that will “piss you off” and give that high again

Women are pretty much basically all set for just being born and just existing. Because being pretty and beautiful is not a skill and it doesn't require any learning, it's not a behavior that takes training. Yes, i know, i'm aware, even Chase wrote an article titled "Don't compare yourself to Women", i don't disagree with that, however some parts of the article did make me angry, but in the end, its best to worry about ourselves, i just don't see how women need to learn how to date as well when the man is the doing doing everything, the one making everything happen. It just really feels me with anger and rage whenever people and Society have the mindset or still think men have it better than women do in dating or just human mating in general.

I'll never forget what one guy said and this only added fuel to fire in regards to my anger and rage about the cards on dealt with for being born male.

See

Constantly looking for ways the get angry again. Maybe less screen time and more time in nature might help

"Boo fucking hoo. We also don't have to go through child birth and we're strong as fuck. Testosterone gives us ambition + mental and physical strength that MANY (not all) women are lacking. Being a man has many benefits and with great power comes great responsibility. Stop crying about it and get your fucking shit together"

Let's just say that pissed me off even further, got me so mad, that its not appropriate for me to say what was going through my mind when i read that comment that pissed me off even further.

Lol… you probably get angry that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west too

Yeah, despite having some success with girls, i still feel like a forever permanent incel for all-time.

Because it was never about the girls.

Fucking girls is a lot of fun but that is not the only thing life is about. And you feel like a permanent incel because you have given yourself that identity

You want to be mad

You want to be miserable

You want to feel lots of negative emotions

Your brain has been trained to not see the silver lining in things

Therapy is a good solution to vent all these things out and work through your inner demons

Because honestly nobody here can save you and only you can save yourself

Wish you the best

 

[SteelbookCollector]

That's a whole heckuva lot of comparing yourself to women.

Do Not Compare Yourself to Women

"Women have it easier." Well sure, in many ways they do. But YOU are not in competition with women. There is a thing I have seen online (not so much in real life, but perhaps I'm not socializing with the right guys for it in real life) where guys complain about how easy women have it or how much...

www.girlschase.com

The post itself is made from a feminine standpoint, not seeking solutions, but wanting to vent and "be heard."



"I wish I was born a woman."

"I wish guys competed to fuck me, promising me love and commitment, only to ditch me after they busted a nut in me."

"I wish society told me I could get a degree in anything I wanted and be super successful, and then I ended up being stuck in a dead-end HR job dealing with petty bullshit trying to feel important but failing."

"I wish I lived my life passively waiting, getting my hopes up when a nice guy finally looked my way, only to feel deflated when I see his girlfriend much hotter than I am walk over and give him a kiss."

"I wish I gave up my career to watch the children I birthed, growing resentful at the children's father who stays out late drinking with his buddies and sits around on his ass whenever he's at home, while I chase around the toddlers and try to get the older ones to do their homework, feeling alone and abandoned while I wonder if he's still faithful and doubt about it."

"I wish I spent my days impotently wishing I'd been born a man, because life would be so much easier, because the grass is always greener on the other side."

Chase

"The world is unfair to you. All life is unfair to you. And it doesn't matter. Because you will still win. It is your nature to win.

You are a man. You are not a woman. You do not need the protections women need, because you are a man. Women are soft and timorous. You are rigid and firm. You have muscle and sinew and testosterone. You have thousands of generations of forebears who slew other men on battlefields and defended their crops from pests and hunted bears and wolves and forged their own tools and carved their way through mountaintops and sailed courses across uncharted seas.

Sulking, whining, pouting, complaining about the relative ease that women have, all that should be alien to you. These are the things that women do. That children do.

Realize it. Realize how foolish this is. Realize your grandfather, or great-grandfather, would've whipped the stuffing out of a whiny soft descendent complaining about how easy women have it."

Yup, even you admit it, men are the only gender that were meant to deal with harshness, adversity, anything that feels wrong.

"Realize how foolish this is. Realize your grandfather, or great-grandfather, would've whipped the stuffing out of a whiny soft descendent complaining about how easy women have it."

well if my great-grandfather did that to me, i would not hesitate to strike him, hit him back.

But ya, a mans social skills definetley impact his ability to get women a lot more than the other way around.

as for me still being angry, in regards to this:

Why would you be bitter once you got what you wanted?

Even if it took that long why does it matter? You can still enjoy the fruits of your labor now, because it didn't happen when i wanted it to happen, i wanted it to happen around the time people are normally expected to experience these things.

Ya, whenever people make arguments as to why a guy, man, should feel lucky to be born a man, human male, it just pisses me off a lot, makes me feel like wanting to hit and punch someone really bad.

 

[Bill]

You need to start a consistent practice to process your difficult emotions. Ruminating on things endlessly will change nothing, it’s not a intellectual problem, it’s an emotional one. I recommend TRE by David Berceli and unified mindfulness to start.

If you need a new perspective and an identity shift, I suggest reading man’s search for meaning, old path white clouds, and psycho cybernetics.

 

[TomInHo]

"The world is unfair to you. All life is unfair to you. And it doesn't matter. Because you will still win. It is your nature to win.

You are a man. You are not a woman. You do not need the protections women need, because you are a man. Women are soft and timorous. You are rigid and firm. You have muscle and sinew and testosterone. You have thousands of generations of forebears who slew other men on battlefields and defended their crops from pests and hunted bears and wolves and forged their own tools and carved their way through mountaintops and sailed courses across uncharted seas.

Sulking, whining, pouting, complaining about the relative ease that women have, all that should be alien to you. These are the things that women do. That children do.

Realize it. Realize how foolish this is. Realize your grandfather, or great-grandfather, would've whipped the stuffing out of a whiny soft descendent complaining about how easy women have it."

Yup, even you admit it, men are the only gender that were meant to deal with harshness, adversity, anything that feels wrong.

"Realize how foolish this is. Realize your grandfather, or great-grandfather, would've whipped the stuffing out of a whiny soft descendent complaining about how easy women have it."

well if my great-grandfather did that to me, i would not hesitate to strike him, hit him back.

But ya, a mans social skills definetley impact his ability to get women a lot more than the other way around.

as for me still being angry, in regards to this:

Why would you be bitter once you got what you wanted?

Even if it took that long why does it matter? You can still enjoy the fruits of your labor now, because it didn't happen when i wanted it to happen, i wanted it to happen around the time people are normally expected to experience these things.

Ya, whenever people make arguments as to why a guy, man, should feel lucky to be born a man, human male, it just pisses me off a lot, makes me feel like wanting to hit and punch someone really bad.

Hope you don’t take this the wrong way but you need to get punched in the face

I have an odd feeling that you may have low T and it’s manifesting in these weird mindsets

Could you expand on your lifestyle a lil bit

- Do you know a martial art or have ever gotten training in physical defense?

- Do you train your muscles with the goal of getting stronger and fitter?

- How much do you sit in front of a screen?

- How much daylight do you get?

- How much interaction do you have with females on a daily basis?

- Do you work for yourself or have a boss?

- Do you put yourself in leadership positions or always find yourself subservient to others?

- Do you eat a lot of junk food with minimal nutrition value?

- Are you vegan?

- How is your sleep?

- How much porn are you currently watching?

- Are you getting regular sex?

- Do you have any bigger goals in your life you want to achieve outside of women or are you coasting through life waiting to die?

These are serious questions btw because maybe your lifestyle is affecting your mood and/or hormonal profile

 

[Skills]

I seen Guys go through this rage... First group no that good with women or horrible... The second post break up.... Both sometimes join red and black pill... But there is a 3rd group guys just like this that get better and start getting laid....all of a sudden they stop talking like that, @Skjöldr was like this...others never recover, all that anger is no good.... The burden of performance is on the dude... People have a weird view on how women have it so good, I personally think being a woman is horrible, period, pregnancy, stalkers, harassment, hormones changing, the ones with big tits back pain, drinking cum,dealing with players getting heart broken etc... I can make a bigger block of text on how much it sucks being a woman...

 

[Flowstatic]

Yes, i'm completely aware that we can't change the past, duh i know that!, thank you for stating the obvious, thats what i say to people when they tell me stuff like that, i also get very annoyed and irritated, enraged, whenever people say that, even though its the cold harsh truth. But i will admit, i didn't really date much in my 20s, i didn't really have a breakthough or milestone in my dating life until near the end of my 20s.

I didn't really have a girlfriend until i was near 30, 29, which only lasted a few months, but first long-term relationship that lasted for more than a year, was not until 33.

While i'm glad i did have these experiences, glad it finally eventually happend to me, i still feel filled with constant bitterness and anger, resentment, and even depression, sadness at times that i was a late bloomer, that it didn't happen for me around the time it is normally expected to happen for people, such as either your teenage years or the beginning of your 20s. So because of that, i envy and resent, get bitter and resentful towards people who got to experience dating and relationships before i did.

But more importantly, its a reminder on how i've always hated and resented the dynamics of the game, seduction, courtship, between the 2 sexes.

Because for all-time, this is what the game looks like or how it is, and whenever people say "thats the way it is", it just fills me with more anger and rage, resentment, frustration, hate the way reality has to be. Here it is, guys, men, have to talk a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way, have certain behaviors, we have to know or learn all of these skills, behaviors, things, so many stuff, just to have a chance with women.

i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.


here it is right here.

i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.

True or False?

A woman doesn't need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with men, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with women.

Or another way to put it, the way the man talks, acts, behaves, in interactions or conversations is what ultimately matters, thats what determines if the woman is gonna be attracted, interested or not, not the other way around.

However, i did hear this from another dating coach, and here it was:

"A conversation or interaction will go much more smoothly if a woman is also emotionally tuned in and has a high EQ(don't know what that stands for though). However, the burden tends normally fall on men."

I'm not afraid to admit that over the years, i have really hated being born male, being born the male gender.

that men have to do everything in dating and relationships and seduction.

Yes I know tons of people say what's the point of being angry and depressed over what didn't happen in the past or not?

Well I'm entitled and I have a right to my mindset, I believe it's always been part of human nature or just the human psyche to always be sad and depressed or angry and resentful over good things that they wish happened to them in the past but didn't.

I know I'm not afraid to admit I have had these thoughts, and I'm sure other guys have thought this way, we feel that if we had been born a woman, we would not have been single that long.

Probably because women just have to exist and they are guaranteed attention and options from Men, that requires no skill or no social dynamics, no game or no seduction. I know its best to don't worry about what others don't have to do, i don't disagree with that, focus on you and what you need to do, that is the better mindset to have, but i get annoyed and irritated, enraged, that there are even dating coaches for women, because i don't see how women need to learn on how to attract men or let alone get men, since for all time, they have always been the passive recipients, i don't see how that requires any learning or any skill-development.

One person I remember I heard said that women need game as well which I thought was the stupidest thing I ever heard.

So ya I still feel like an incel for all time despite managing to get a girlfriend eventually, and I still get irritated and annoyed whenever people and society say that men have it better than women do in the human mating game.

I get annoyed when people say go see a therapist because it's not like a therapist can reset my life or have me start my life all over again. I spoke in a few other guys who feel the same way in regards to being forever angry and upset, sad, over never having had a girlfriend until later than normal, until late in life.

Probably because guys and men have to learn and know all of these skills, all of these social behaviors, talk and behave a certain way, act a certain way, walk a certain way or have a certain lifestyle, have a certain body, certain income, and more than that which I either don't know or forgot.

Women are pretty much basically all set for just being born and just existing. Because being pretty and beautiful is not a skill and it doesn't require any learning, it's not a behavior that takes training. Yes, i know, i'm aware, even Chase wrote an article titled "Don't compare yourself to Women", i don't disagree with that, however some parts of the article did make me angry, but in the end, its best to worry about ourselves, i just don't see how women need to learn how to date as well when the man is the doing doing everything, the one making everything happen. It just really feels me with anger and rage whenever people and Society have the mindset or still think men have it better than women do in dating or just human mating in general.

I'll never forget what one guy said and this only added fuel to fire in regards to my anger and rage about the cards on dealt with for being born male.

"Boo fucking hoo. We also don't have to go through child birth and we're strong as fuck. Testosterone gives us ambition + mental and physical strength that MANY (not all) women are lacking. Being a man has many benefits and with great power comes great responsibility. Stop crying about it and get your fucking shit together"

Let's just say that pissed me off even further, got me so mad, that its not appropriate for me to say what was going through my mind when i read that comment that pissed me off even further.

Yes I know there's no such thing as fairness but I'm not afraid to admit that over the years in my life I've hated being born a guy or I just feel that it is unfair being born a man. Yes I'm aware there's no such thing as fairness, I just get very angry and enraged whenever people and Society still think men have it better than women do.

Yeah, despite having some success with girls, i still feel like a forever permanent incel for all-time.

I'm sure there are other men in the world who feel like i do, who were late bloomers, and they feel forever permanently damaged mentally and emotionally because of their late start, but many just won't bother to disclose or admit it.

Idk about a solution, but I'm in the EXACT same situation you are minus the gf, I've never approached a girl b4.
Honestly, It's like I wrote this post myself.
I agree w/ u 100% about women being privileged
I don't identify as an incel, but I feel like they're the only ones who understand what I feel unfortunately.
Transitioning is stupid, ppl only do that if they have real gender dysphoria, not resenting the opposite gender.

 

[orkie123]

Idk about a solution, but I'm in the EXACT same situation you are minus the gf, I've never approached a girl b4.
Honestly, It's like I wrote this post myself.
I agree w/ u 100% about women being privileged
I don't identify as an incel, but I feel like they're the only ones who understand what I feel unfortunately.
Transitioning is stupid, ppl only do that if they have real gender dysphoria, not resenting the opposite gender.

You don't resent women. You resent yourself and your inaction. If you were born a female, even a hot one, you would be the girl complaining how no guy ever sticks around and calling all men cheating players.

Start believing that everything that happens to you in life is 100% your responsibility and your own fault even if it isn't. It's harsh but it trains your mind to believe that what you achieve in life is totally in your control.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Start believing that everything that happens to you in life is 100% your responsibility and your own fault even if it isn't. It's harsh but it trains your mind to believe that what you achieve in life is totally in your control.

+1 this belief is responsible for nearly all the positive outcomes in my life.

Also I’ve lost patience with people like OP let’s ban them after we see they don’t see reason. They aren’t ready and waste everyone’s time.

Have we ever seen a guy like this say “omg I see the light, let me get to work!”

No. It’s just a contiuned cesspool of poor me.

Even @Skjöldr with his angry phase never posted bs like this on the forum & was always action orientated/ posting FRs

These guys just want sympathy... They can go to Reddit for that x