Yes keep talking especially early in the conversation that can happen with some girls. Hey I'm new on the forum but my game is decent but not as advanced as some other guys. So the advise I'd share will be in this link below
Sometimes you’ll meet girls who won’t contribute to conversation. When this happens, you’ll have to step up and do the talking yourself. One of our forum members by the name of Witcher had a few questions about deep diving, one of which was this: “Deep diving demand[s] from the seducer to ask...
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And then these
When you approach a new girl, what should you talk about? Deep topics… or light ones? The answer is: light conversation when you first talk to a girl, if you want success. On my article “What an Average Girl's Dating History Looks Like” last year, reader 'Handome & Wealthy' commented: Here's a...
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There are two general methods for being persistent with girls. Each comes with its own benefits and risks. Which one you choose depends on a few key factors. Contents 1. Persistence Recap 2. Women Don’t Always Put Out Easily 3. The Two Types of Persistence Active Persistence Passive Persistence...
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Getting investment from women is a crucial element of your success with them. Men who fail to get investment fail to move things forward with the women in their lives – it’s as simple as that. Investment is vital. So what happens when you ask for compliance and get a “no”? What happens when you...
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PeacockMan
Thanks for the links. The first one really hit a spot. I have started using stories but do feel strange when I need to be the main talker for a long time. I dont like being centre of attention or the main person talking for too long even when it is going well.
Typically this reaction happens when you do enough to elicit a social response, but you otherwise come off weakly, such as she saw you preparing to approach for too long, your approach was unconfident/meek, your fundamentals are not on par with what she expects, etc. Her frame is basically communicating that you have no authority. Without seeing the approach it's hard to say exactly what was the issue.
When this happens, if she's alone I will usually go for a more provocative and teasing angle to shake loose her feeling of being in control.
When there's two, you're probably best off creating some interesting conversation with the friend and then turning it back to the hot one a little each time she shows interest. You sort of started that with the cold read but cold reads to cold customers in my experience don't work out that well, they come off as you being attentive/interested when she's not. You probably would have been best off cold reading the friend and then making the hot one feel left out.
When you get caught in a situation like that where there's a disinterested girl next to you and an interested one on the other side, don't be afraid to change things up. You can walk around and stand next to the interested friend and say 'I'm going to talk to you as you seem nicer' and give her an conspiratorial smile and wink or something, it would definitely get a reaction out of the hot one and that's sort of what you need to get something going.
Very useful advice, thank you. My approach wasnt great because the bar was too quiet by that point, and so she could see me approaching from far. It felt too planned.
I should have spoken more to the other girl, but we were all sat on same side with hot girl in the middle, so it was awkward to talk over her. But I think the confidence to go around the table and seat next to the friendlier girl would have actually worked really well. The hot girl was used to getting all the attention, which is probably why the other girl was friendlier.
Reading all the links Peacock sent, and your advice - I think I realised I'm still too much conflct avoidant. I dont avoid conflict anymore when my own boundaries are imposed, and I only do what I want to do, but when it comes to asking others to invest, or 'demanding' the time of someone, I do feel the pressure. I rather eject than annoy someone which I dont think this case was.
She wasn't annoyed, she just didnt think I had any authority like you said. I do think there was a chance to at least improve my standing if I had persisted, and definitely if I had spoken to her friend. After all, they were sat on their own with nothing fun happening, whereas I at least had social proof as me and my friends were all having fun.
I have an issue with over-teasing, so while that may have been appropriate here, im actively trying to be more mindful of doing it before girls know me a little better.
I think my main 2 takeaways (apart from the obvious of keep improving fundamentals) are:
1) Be more persistent for a while in these scenarios as im ejecting too early.
2) Use a wider variety of tools (stories, taking away attention, cold reads, light banter, social proof etc) to help get the hook if something isnt working.
Those 2 together should help me break through the limiting belief i seem to have that if someone doesnt hook relatively quickly, they dont want you there. And in reality, most girls are quick to disengage if they are completely not interested.
