I don't think this is a something that a beginner can do or should do rather. I feel like that goal state is for men who are already quite experienced with women and as a beginner we need that initial experience with women who play the games and shit to get the experience to reach this "goal state" if that makes any sense.
The Goal State
- Thread starter Raqimus
- Start date
DrexelScott said:
Okay I think I understand where you're coming from, it's like rounding out your life to include more than just women, like with hobbies and stuff that will bring you just as much satisfaction as pounding pussy... I don't think I'm there yet hahahaha
Interesting topic. Although I've only laid around 20 girls or so, this feeling has already crept up into my mind. It's probably because of all the things outside of women that consume my mind and am working towards. Also, once you do experience a fair share of bedding women,you realize its not a big deal and is just one aspect of life. This was something I read over and over again here, but it never really became apparent to me until it was experienced and I then I knew. Sort of like Franco's excellent post on abundance mentality.
I was out the other night at a club with a few friends and it was just...different. Having a steady supply of sex in my life now I feel so calm and relaxed when in a club environment or any type of bar. Where even just 6 months ago I would be feeling nervous and just HOPING that I could land some pussy or at the very least talk to a girl. And this perspective and feeling all came from taking the necessary action and pushing forward to get what I want...what YOU truly want.
So for any new readers or beginners and you are like me and don't take action for a while and just constantly consume material... seriously just get out there and start failing. You won't hit those light bulb moments until you do... no matter how much you think you "get it" from reading. Once you start seeing that things that were a big deal to you no longer are you will be growing. It's important to recognize that.
I was out the other night at a club with a few friends and it was just...different. Having a steady supply of sex in my life now I feel so calm and relaxed when in a club environment or any type of bar. Where even just 6 months ago I would be feeling nervous and just HOPING that I could land some pussy or at the very least talk to a girl. And this perspective and feeling all came from taking the necessary action and pushing forward to get what I want...what YOU truly want.
So for any new readers or beginners and you are like me and don't take action for a while and just constantly consume material... seriously just get out there and start failing. You won't hit those light bulb moments until you do... no matter how much you think you "get it" from reading. Once you start seeing that things that were a big deal to you no longer are you will be growing. It's important to recognize that.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2013
- Messages
- 211
Do any of you ever worry about hollowing yourselves out in this process of emotional detachment? I don't mean to be a naysayer here, but I've been getting the spooky feeling that there's some very dark, destructive energy that comes along with the unleashing of female sexuality. At first, I thought it was awesome once I discovered that I too could unleash this power, but recently, it's been freaking me out to the point that I can barely sleep at night these days. I sure as hell never want to end up a slave—that's the reason I broke it off with my last girlfriend a few months ago. On the other hand, I'm genuinely afraid of turning myself into an ice cold fiend. Maybe this worry just stems from a mountain of societal and religious conditioning… either way, it's scary.
-M
"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." -Genesis
They were then cast out of paradise for taking the red pill. Maybe I'm just being superstitious…
-M
"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." -Genesis
They were then cast out of paradise for taking the red pill. Maybe I'm just being superstitious…
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 474
Just wanted to say that I’ve thought about this too Mischief.
Like it’s crossed my mind: getting too unemotional or too detached and the connection of that with the relationships with the women that come into my life.
And I don’t have an answer or a viewpoint really. Just curiosity and some worry about how things end up (do I settle at some point and be more emotional or do I find that the pinnacle of game, if I reach it, is just being so detached that you can be great at getting lays and quality women but comes at the price of being even more detached and emotionless than I am now). Not mature enough or experienced enough or skilled enough to see the effects of it or know about it or form a solid view much now.
But something that may be a bigger problem for me one day and that I have wondered about.
Hope I have that figured out or have an answer for myself in later years when I am wiser and more experienced.
Like it’s crossed my mind: getting too unemotional or too detached and the connection of that with the relationships with the women that come into my life.
And I don’t have an answer or a viewpoint really. Just curiosity and some worry about how things end up (do I settle at some point and be more emotional or do I find that the pinnacle of game, if I reach it, is just being so detached that you can be great at getting lays and quality women but comes at the price of being even more detached and emotionless than I am now). Not mature enough or experienced enough or skilled enough to see the effects of it or know about it or form a solid view much now.
But something that may be a bigger problem for me one day and that I have wondered about.
Hope I have that figured out or have an answer for myself in later years when I am wiser and more experienced.
Mischief,
Not at all, actually. Maybe it's because I've come from the opposite spectrum. In my introduction post, I describe how I came from a situation where I thought I found an amazing girl (that could be the one) and inevitably lost her of my own accord. The amount of emotional investment I had put in her was off the charts, and it made my world come crashing down when I realized there was no way I could get her back. At some point, I also realized that all of this stress was coming from the fact that I was TOO emotionally attached to her, and I knew that distancing that attachment (by meeting more amazing women) would be the only way to relieve the inner turmoil and pain. But I knew it would be much easier said than done.
Through this process of becoming better with women, I've noticed that I can now more or less "control" the amount of emotion that I give and take, which allows me to curb any severe thoughts or pain that might come to my mind. This ability to control and police your thoughts and emotions is actually quite valuable.
Now, the natural next question might be: so are you using this emotional detachment as a mask to hide your true feelings? And my answer is: not really. Since then, I've bedded some amazing women, and I am currently in a relationship with a girl who is overall better than the one that left me a few years ago. And even with the rock-solid frame I have now, this girl still manages to "tingle" my senses with the emotions that I had back then, but I realize I'm able to control the capacity of that emotion much more effectively now. So there are definitely still moments where I "feel" the compassion of being with her, and there are never moments where I feel out of control in the relationship -- something I find to be absolutely critical to maintaining a healthy mindset as well as a healthy relationship where the girl remains attracted to you.
So once you've seen things from the opposite side of the spectrum -- emotional attachment that causes you to enter a state of near "insanity" -- you realize that emotional detachment (to a certain degree) is actually a blessing in disguise.
- Franco
Not at all, actually. Maybe it's because I've come from the opposite spectrum. In my introduction post, I describe how I came from a situation where I thought I found an amazing girl (that could be the one) and inevitably lost her of my own accord. The amount of emotional investment I had put in her was off the charts, and it made my world come crashing down when I realized there was no way I could get her back. At some point, I also realized that all of this stress was coming from the fact that I was TOO emotionally attached to her, and I knew that distancing that attachment (by meeting more amazing women) would be the only way to relieve the inner turmoil and pain. But I knew it would be much easier said than done.
Through this process of becoming better with women, I've noticed that I can now more or less "control" the amount of emotion that I give and take, which allows me to curb any severe thoughts or pain that might come to my mind. This ability to control and police your thoughts and emotions is actually quite valuable.
Now, the natural next question might be: so are you using this emotional detachment as a mask to hide your true feelings? And my answer is: not really. Since then, I've bedded some amazing women, and I am currently in a relationship with a girl who is overall better than the one that left me a few years ago. And even with the rock-solid frame I have now, this girl still manages to "tingle" my senses with the emotions that I had back then, but I realize I'm able to control the capacity of that emotion much more effectively now. So there are definitely still moments where I "feel" the compassion of being with her, and there are never moments where I feel out of control in the relationship -- something I find to be absolutely critical to maintaining a healthy mindset as well as a healthy relationship where the girl remains attracted to you.
So once you've seen things from the opposite side of the spectrum -- emotional attachment that causes you to enter a state of near "insanity" -- you realize that emotional detachment (to a certain degree) is actually a blessing in disguise.
- Franco