Sunshine Journal

[JT Sunshine]

Enjoyed my day today, although it still feels like someone has been scraping out my vocal cords with a cheese grater. For the first time this year it FINALLY felt like summer! Forecast looks great too. This means I should have about 5 solid months to work on my daygame skills before it gets frigid again.

Decided it was a good day to location scout, and instead of going to the trendy lake that I know is a honey hole, I picked a scenic walking/biking area near the college campus closest to my house. I am finding out that while it's been nice living in this quiet, nice, sleepy area of my city, I am going to need to venture out a bit more to find "target-rich locations" during the day... I walked around for about an hour and encountered 6 couples, lots of middle aged men walking/jogging, one very plump woman I gave a quick "hi" to, and honestly nothing more. Putting this location at the bottom of my list for now.

I have a couple ideas for better locations to try out - let's call them "waterfall park" and "downtown park". These will be my next scouting trips.

When arriving back at my house, I saw the neighbor girl was on her porch having a drink. I've talked to her before, but it's been a while. I have no sexual interest in her, but she is very nice and has quite a few cute female friends. Decided to wander over and say hi. We talked for quite a while, I found out the downtown farmer's market just opened (literal goldmine - I used to go there with my ex and the scenery was so good I wished I was single LOL) and I got an invite to a bonfire next weekend. Nice!

Maybe not all was lost today after all! Now if only I could shake this stupid cold...

 

[JT Sunshine]

Still alive! I’ve been working 12 hour days all week (including today) and just finally got over my cold. I did go out both nights this weekend.

I feel as though all this work and being sick has completely killed my momentum. I hate making excuses, but I feel like I’m back at square one again. Trying to take this weekend as a learning experience, and fuel to my fire.

Went out last night. Saw my ex earlier in the day and we had sex again, which was electric but totally killed my motivation to go out. I know I need to cut her off, but my willpower weakens around hot women. She’s still very into me and while I have no interest in being back in that relationship, I have a hard time saying no. Fml.

So much anxiety when I went out I don’t know why. I went to all three bars I typically go to - and didn’t approach anyone. I could say that saloon so was packed that it was too hard to even move, legacy was full of guys, and the dance club was playing shitty music that was hard to fake dance to. And while all that is true - I have no excuses as to why I didn’t just say HI to someone. For fucks sakes, I am just trying to get good at this…

I was so mad at myself come bar close I decided to walk around downtown for 20 minutes and just compliment women “hit and run” style. First one was a beautiful black girl in a sparkly pink dress. As I was walking past her I put my hand on her shoulder and said “you have the cutest dress I’ve seen all night”. Her eyes lit up and she said “omg thank you!” with a huge smile. I think I made her night, and honestly, her smile made mine. I did the same thing with two more girls and neither one even acknowledged me. Oh well.

Back out tonight. Was obliterated tired from 12 hours of working and a bonfire. I learned a LOT tonight, but very disappointed in my performance. Let the rambling commence…

Started at Saloon. For anyone who did night game back in 2010, this place is exactly what it used to be like. Lots of groups of 3-6 people, mostly mixed sets of girls/guys, with a few girls-only and lots of random guys. Everyone is dressed exactly the same, drinking white claws or high noons. I didn’t drink at the bar tonight, so I was very clear minded….

Decided this will be the only place in downtown I do “night game” from now on. Legacy bar has been god awful, and I’m figuring out I really don’t like loud dance clubs when solo and sober. I’m a conversationalist (when I’m not a mute) and I need an environment where I can TALK.

Anyways… I learned tonight that for forever I have this terrible tendency of looking “past” people. Tonight I didn’t do that. I looked dead in everyone’s eyes. Made strong eye contact with at least 50 attractive women. I am not intimidated by them. I think what intimidates me is the group dynamic. I’m slightly older than everyone, I am by myself, and not in the group. Or any group at all. I have to get good at opening groups. I have done this recently back when I was starting to hit my stride… so I know I can do it.

Next realization. There are a LOT of guys there just standing around, looking around, drinking their beers, staring at their phones. When I go alone alone I think I’m *feeling* like I’m the only person in town who isn’t with a friend group. But that’s not true at all.

The question is - do I just fucking own it? I know from actually making approaches that I always will get asked “who are you here with?” I think I just need to be more comfortable and confident with the fact that I’m out solo because life is short, and I want to enjoy the party.

Also, I noticed there are a lot of guys at this place talking to GORGEOUS women who aren’t exactly lookers themselves… and I’m freakin handsome. Dressed well. In shape. WHAT am I doing not going for what I want?? It’s my analysis paralysis. I need to find a way to shut my brain off that isn’t alcohol… because that was my crutch in my early twenties. No more.

Bonfire was fun… I did get a phone number from a girl who was definitely into me but definitely not my type either. She was fun to talk to, but no physical attraction. I’ll try to penetrate that social circle and maybe it will lead me somewhere. It was nice to have some normal social interaction as I’ve been feeling very isolated lately.

Also cute sales girl was in again yesterday. We were both talking to others, but she looked over at me and waved with a smile. It’s only a matter of time until we get to talk, and I need to show interest right away. More on that when it happens.

Birthday girl keeps sending me selfies, initiating text conversations and apologizing for being so busy… but is always working when I suggest a meetup. Basically writing her off, but if the stars align, cool.

My goal for this upcoming week is to go do some real day game. I need to break out of this rut and take some action. Also might try some online… I’ve been avoiding that as I used to be VERY well known in my area and still am, but it might be useful to just crank out messages to all the matches I get and go for as many phone numbers/dates as possible to build up the experience. Maybe more on that if I do it.

This weekend was a disappointment but not a failure. I’ll get this.

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Enjoying your reports JT ... I feel like we're on the same wavelength.

Since limerance girl broke up with me, I've been through three cycles with the ex-ex. We've got more than a decade-and-a-half of history and it's comforting for both of us. A couple times I loved it so much I thought there was maybe a chance we could get it right this time (ours was the most passionate relationship I've ever had, she might well be the love of my life) but then she'll pick a fight over something stupid and we'll go radio silent for weeks.

Doesn't seem like you've having the same situation with your ex - that intoxicating, and toxic, push-pull. So what if you scratch each other's itches now and again?

Re bonfire girl: Enjoying getting to know girls that you aren't wanting to bang is important. It's about establishing human connection. The world is a cold place, a little human warmth makes it tolerable for both of you. It doesn't always have to be about the ill na-na.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Enjoying your reports JT ... I feel like we're on the same wavelength.

I totally agree! Can’t wait to see where we both are in a few months

Since limerance girl broke up with me, I've been through three cycles with the ex-ex. We've got more than a decade-and-a-half of history and it's comforting for both of us. A couple times I loved it so much I thought there was maybe a chance we could get it right this time (ours was the most passionate relationship I've ever had, she might well be the love of my life) but then she'll pick a fight over something stupid and we'll go radio silent for weeks.

Doesn't seem like you've having the same situation with your ex - that intoxicating, and toxic, push-pull. So what if you scratch each other's itches now and again?

We too had quite our share of stupid fighting back in the day, but strangely enough there has been none recently.

Breaking up was a weird situation for me because while she ticks all of the boxes for me in terms of looks, personality, and sexually, we just… weren’t interested in hardly any of the same things. I feel we were a perfect match for each other in most aspects, except I love hiking, fishing, working out, any excuse to be outdoors and active. She hates bugs, being too hot or too cold, and walking… she much prefers to sit, watch movies on the couch with the blinds closed and the AC blasting. No clue how she kept her figure. I hung in there cause honestly she was WAY too hot for me, and we truly cared for each other, but towards the end I found myself wanting to always cut our time short so I could go breathe some outdoor air and enjoy the things I love.

But you’re spot on, I shouldn’t feel bad about the occasional sexy rendezvous. We both have needs and know each other very well in that aspect.

Re bonfire girl: Enjoying getting to know girls that you aren't wanting to bang is important. It's about establishing human connection. The world is a cold place, a little human warmth makes it tolerable for both of you. It doesn't always have to be about the ill na-na.

You couldn’t be more right! I’ve found myself growing slightly more isolated as I’ve gotten older and it’s a great reminder that making nice friendly connections is just good for the soul.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Celebrating the little victories today:

Finally got an hour break from these nasty 12 hour workdays and decided to take a walk around the neighborhood.

Kinda cute blonde girl around my age walking towards me from about a block away. In my mind I know I’m gonna be kicking myself if I don’t approach. Can’t think of a damn thing to say so I just smile and say “hi”. She smiles and says hi back. I turned towards her and stopped walking, held eye contact. She stops walking too. I just start talking about the new trees being planted, and we actually had a very nice conversation for a bit.

Doesn’t seem like much, but I’ve been on a cold streak this month, getting in my head too much, and I *think* this is the first time I’ve been able to stop a girl who was walking past me!! Big sticking point and now I know it’s possible!!

I actually have a couple days off work now and am going to keep trying this approach.

Side note - going to a large event this Saturday and heard through the grapevine cute sales girl will be working there. Should be a great opportunity to finally talk to her one on one instead of flirting from a distance. Also there will be a good 2000 or so people in attendance, so ample opportunity to work on my day-game skills.

It’s good to be back and feeling like myself again!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

I love big public events. There's an anonymity in crowds. It seems ironic, but you feel free to be more bold and less constrained than within your typically social circle. Good luck!

 

[JT Sunshine]

I love big public events. There's an anonymity in crowds. It seems ironic, but you feel free to be more bold and less constrained than within your typically social circle. Good luck!

I couldn’t agree more. I plan to find every art, music and food truck festival around this summer and make conversation with as many people as I can. I’m coming off a very fun day today and I’m hoping tomorrow is a turning point in my introverted-ness as of late!

 

[JT Sunshine]

Today was a great day. I woke up rested, feeling good, no work and gorgeous sunshine. No excuses, time to go explore the world in the hopes of meeting some cute women.

I could have done much better or much worse, but I learned a ton, had a blast, and worked on my tan in the process.

Started my day with a trip to the gym. I’ve been slacking in that area lately as I’m pretty sure I had the flu and felt like total doggy doo doo. I’m not able to lift as much as I was late April, but fuck it felt good to put in a great workout. Smiled and said bye to the cute desk girl when I walked out. Cooked some chicken and broccoli for lunch and decided to spend the afternoon scouting a couple daytime locations that I remembered being full of women back in the day.

First stop, the lake! There’s a 4 mile walking path around it, and I walked the whole thing. I have mixed feelings about this spot, but it will remain on my list. Lots of people out, including some women and a couple real stunners! However, most of them were with a man, a group of friends, or most commonly - sunglasses and headphones/on the phone. Maybe it’s a generation thing with gen z to wear earbuds everywhere, but I don’t think I saw more than two women without some type of headphones on.

I gave one cute blonde a big smile and said “hi”, to which she kinda looked at me weird, then said “hi” back with a bit of a smile, but never broke stride. I imagine she didn’t actually hear me with her earbuds in, thought “what did he say? Oh, probably hi”.

Discovered there are three beaches on this lake, and a big grassy area where some people were tanning. These aren’t like your ocean beaches where you can walk forever - these are very small, with women laying down tanning. Does anyone have any experience approaching at tiny little beaches? They were full of hot women but all were laying down tanning. No volleyball/party type vibe like you find out in Florida or California. Maybe I just lay out there myself and wait for someone to kick sand on me then bust their lady-balls for it? or walk back and forth between the lake and my towel and if I make eye contact say “your towel is super cool/colorful/ugly?

There’s a little area with a cafe towards the end of the walking path. There was a woman standing looking at the menu. A little older than me but very pretty. I pulled up next to her to “look at the menu” until I caught her gaze, then said “hi” with a big smile. She said hi back, but for the love of god I could not think of anything else to say. She walked off. Damn!

I saw another girl standing by the counter. Mid 20s, shorter red hair and cute glasses. Kind of a hippie looking girl. I walked up to her and said “Hi, do you think I’m safe to put my winter gear away?” with a smirk (it’s hot as hell out). She laughed and said “yes, I still need to do that. Now I have fun plans for my Friday night!” we talked for a couple minutes about our love for tacos, exchanged names, and she seemed VERY excited to be conversing with a sexy stranger like me. All of a sudden her FRIEND pops up and drags her away. She turns back and says “it was really nice talking to you!” I should have gone for the number… but from our conversation I know she goes there a lot and it’s quite possible I’ll bump into her again. Very happy with how it went regardless!

Laid out on one of the beaches for a little while and just soaked up the sun. It felt great, but I wasn’t done yet.

Drove over to another park I know across the river from the city center with a shopping district around it. I lived there back in 2014 and it was always jumpin with people! Today… not so much. It was actually kind of comical, when I saw a girl on my side of the street by the time I got closer to her she crossed the street. If I saw one across the street, I would cross then she would cross back to my side. What are the odds

Got back home feeling good but wishing I did more. Proud of myself for getting out in the day and opening my mouth, but lots of missed opportunities. Fuel to the fire. As I’m standing in my porch I see a STUNNING brunette in a gorgeous dress standing at the end of my block, texting. There was an open house there earlier so I assume maybe she was checking it out.

I knew this was my shot at ending today on a high note, so I walked right down the street to her without hesitation, and said “they did a nice job with this house, eh?” found out she was the realtor. We talked about houses, the neighborhood, my job (it’s quite exciting), some more playful banter. We exchanged names. Fuck she was beautiful.

A couple of people walked up to see the house, and I basically took over for her job talking up the neighborhood, asking them questions about themselves - and she was just standing there kind of in awe. I used to work sales, and I’m good. When I bid her adieu, she stopped me and told me to take her contact info.

Idk if thats just a realtor thing or if she was into me (her eyes said the latter) but maybe I’ll text her in a week or two and ask if she sold the house yet. A million ways I could play it.

Tomorrow will be amazingly fun both day and night! I need to make bolder moves and go for what I want more, but I’m having a blast and feel I’m making small progress again.

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Yes my friend, an excellent day all around! I am inspired for my forays tomorrow. I have very little free time, but I will make some approaches during my meetings and errands.