Shenanigans III

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It has been a while since my last journal entry in 11/2015.

Always work on yourself
I graduated from UCLA a month after that in 12/2015 with a CS degree, attempted to start a business for a year and failed, but learned a lot from it. That experience landed me a job as a software engineer, and I've been working my ass off for the past 2.5 years. I felt like I made pretty good progress with social/dating skills, so I redirected my time and energy to my career for stability. In that time I've led and produced enough projects and gained enough leverage to negotiate for $40k raise and the ability to telecommute.

I'll be setting up camp in Dallas soon, and I'll occasionally travel to other cities and countries and work remotely while participating in some shenanigans.

I've also been lifting weights every weekday morning before work, and cardio/boxing on evenings 2-3 times/week. This resulted in about 15 pounds of muscle and better appearance.

Don't live in a suburb
I moved to a nearby suburb for work, and the dating pool sucks. Everyone is either under 18 or over 40. Oh well, I was planning on focusing on my career anyway. So I've also been spending my free time on a second business attempt for the past 8 months or so. Still got a few more months of work left before I can launch. Hopefully it'll bear fruit, but if not, it'll go on my resume.

About me
Age: 29
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 150-155lbs, slim fit
Ethnicity: Korean

 

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Thank you GC for my last relationship

Some blabbering
I was in a year-long relationship with an Eastern European girl 5 years my junior. It was great, and she was great, until I realized what I really wanted in a girl. I realized I wanted more of a conservative, traditionally feminine, family-oriented girl. She was career-oriented, and the relationship eventually began feeling more like a partnership than a romantic/sexual one even though we pretty much fucked every time we met.

I no longer care about the girl's profession or academic background as long as she has common sense and is at least average in intelligence. I just want an attractive girl who'd turn me on until my dick stops working, whose beauty and charm motivates me to achieve more, and who'd make a good mother. I know I won't be a walking ATM, so yeah. Anyway...

Setting up for first date
Met her through Tinder.

I dislike game-y tactics and PUA stuff. I kept my conversation straight-forward and light-hearted with some sexuality thrown in. I believe I established myself as a normal/sane, funny guy who isn't bland, as there were enough sexual innuendos thrown in.

First date
Nothing special. I just wanted to get to know her, and she wanted to get to know me. We talked for about 2-3 hours, had boba and Carl's Jr lol

The date actually didn't go too well because I almost died in a car accident on the way. The fact that I could've died hit me late in the middle of the date, and my head was elsewhere the whole time. So I texted her after the date about this and apologized if I appeared aloof. I was genuine, and it got me a second date.

She tested me a fair amount in the first half of our relationship. She once mentioned a recent date she had with a doctor who took her to a fancy burger restaurant, to which I replied, "Was it better than my Carls Jr?" She stopped testing me in the second half of our relationship. I can't recall the others. She basically just settled and became submissive.

Second date
It was actually on Valentine's day. Our scheduled date was the weekend after, but I had a silly idea for a date and wanted to see if she was free and down. She was, but I didn't reveal the idea, which was to go around Target sticking googly eye stickers on random shit that had people's faces on it. I thought it would be nice for strangers to discover that and get a good laugh.

She freaked out when I revealed the plan and pulled out the stickers in the middle of a Target aisle. She began babbling about random shit out of nervousness as I struggled to peel off the backing from the stickers lol. The stickers were shitty, wouldn't peel, and it was a disaster.

Oh well, I tossed that plan, grabbed some V Day chocolates and some alcohol, and consumed them in my car in the Target parking lot while we talked some more. This time the conversations were deeper.

Third date
Took her to a fancy lounge in Hollywood. There wasn't much conversation to be had, since we covered pretty much everything in the past 2 dates.

Brought her back to my place, she came in to use the bathroom. I was sitting on the edge of my bed when she returned, and she joined next to me.

Me: "I think you should just spend the night here"
Her: "Oh yeah...?" (shyly)

Then I moved in for a kiss. Then I spent a good hour dealing with LMR.

My approach to dealing with it was basically:
1. Back off
2. Resume with slightly higher intensity
3. Repeat

Some stuff I said/did were:
"I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to. But you have a really nice ass" (spank)
"If you really want, I'll take you home. But I'd really prefer that you stayed."

Sex was pretty good, except she kept stopping me every couple minutes because she thought she had to pee. I kept telling her to just squirt, but nope.

Aftermath
She was pretty hooked. I think I only called her once during our entire relationship. She called me almost every other day. There was a day where i just wanted to nap, but she still sucked my dick for over an hour lol. She let me do stuff to her in bed that she wasn't exactly into, but allowed me to anyway.

We had the "what are we?" talk 3 or 4 times. Each time I told her something like:
"Something in between serious and casual. I'm focused on my career right now and this business attempt. You're the only girl in the world when we're together, but I don't want anything serious or exclusive yet. I really enjoy our times together, but you're free to do whatever you want."

She stopped bringing it up, but continued to seem like she really wanted to settle down with me, but I didn't.

 

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Closest thing to FR recently

Starbucks girl
I work from Starbucks pretty often, and there was a new Latina who was insanely attractive. I small-talked with her, once at length, just normal getting-to-know conversations. But by the 4th time, she still asked me for my name. So I crossed her off as uninterested or as having bad memory. Not worth risking it at a place I frequent.

How you know your fundamentals are alright:
There are other baristas who remember my name and order by the second or third time I see them. Some even charge me the refill price of 50 cents instead of the drink's price. On one occasion, I was at Starbucks B and a girl from Starbucks A happened to be covering for someone there. While we were chatting, another barista who gives me the looks every time I go, interrupted us telling her to stop stealing her customer.

I also get complimented every now and then, on personality and appearance/style. I usually wear polos, chinos, and oxfords. Nothing too flashy or fancy. I stay simple yet classy. But they are expensive, and some girls can tell. Some girl opened me recently by complimenting my backpack, but I was on my way out in a hurry. The personality points I've been complimented on were basically everything GC has taught me to be. Confidence, etc. My ex tried multiple times to get me emotional/jealous, but failed and complimented me on it and other things.

Be unexpected:
One of the baristas: "What are you having today? Cold brew? Black tea? Green?"
Me: "I will take this banana, just one"
Her: LOL
Me: "Kidding, cold brew. I need caffeine today"
Her: (still laughing, staring blankly at the register, her mind elsewhere)
Me: (waiting, I knew she didn't hear me)
Her: "I'm sorry, what did you want again?"

Gym girl
There are 8 heavy bags in the gym, in a row. I was on the far right one. There are 7 others, but this girl decides to use the one right next to me.

I saw she had a nice, petite body from the corner of my eye. I assumed she was at most 16 years old, so I just ignored her. But she kept going, then started doing these ridiculous but cute kicks. They were so weak the bag barely moved.

Me: "Those are some really hard kicks"
Her: "Oh, it's because I had a hip replacement surgery"
Me: "Oh shit, my bad" (I was LOLing)
Her: "That's fine, I knew you were joking" (laughing)

Then she continued the conversation, asking if I did martial arts, and we chat for a few minutes. She was actually in her 30s. Hell of a body for her age. Not the best face, and I prefer somewhere 21-27, so I resumed my workout and let the conversation die. She left almost immediately.

Taco girl
Noticed an attractive Latina working there and she noticed me too. Kept eye contact slightly longer than normal. Long enough so she knows I'm interested, but short that it's not creepy. Had no chance to talk to her.

Went back tonight. She noticed me, and we maintained eye contact for slightly longer again. She greeted me when I got to the register, but she wasn't working it. The girl behind the register asked me for my order and had no other chance to talk to her.

Guess I'll have to go until I catch her behind the register lol.

 

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First year in Dallas

General

Dallas (at least where I'm at, near downtown) seems like a slower-paced LA composed of mostly native Texans with established social circles and plenty of transplants. It's still within the Bible Belt, so majority of women are traditional and keep themselves fit and pretty. In a binary system of yes/no (as opposed to a 10-point scale), legit half or more are "yes"s. A downside of that is that I've gotten quite lazy, because you're literally guaranteed to spot another "yes" within a few minutes.

Girls are all really friendly and approachable, but I haven't been shotgunning like I have in LA. On most days, I legit don't see another Asian guy. So I have a bit of fear of being "that guy" via flawed/imperfect shotgun approaches. I won't be hard to recognize lol. So I've been scanning and looking for invitations and conversation starters.

Overall, I've been quite busy with work and my business endeavor, so dating hasn't been a priority.

Social circle

Met 2 high quality, pornstar lookalikes. But 1 married right after college (Bible Belt), and the other has been in a relationship since college. The latter I'll call X. X gave me all the good signs and made it really easy for me to do my thing, although I stopped actively pursuing due to her existing relationship.

There was also another Marion Cotillard lookalike, but I haven't had the chance to interact with her much. I know she is interested. I can't remember the last time someone was so nervous and shy around me.

"Be a mirror/reveal the parts of you that align with her"

X loves kids. So during our social circle's parties, I played with one of the couples' kids instead. We built a house out of Jenga blocks. X called me out on it (I guess I made it look obvious lol) to which I replied "Do you know how many housing and zoning laws that kid was breaking?!" Worked very well hehehe.

X is still an open book. It doesn't seem like she's fully set on her boyfriend. She shared with me some conflict. She has also mentioned how she wishes some rich lawyer swept her off her feet or something. I earn more than the average lawyer hehe. Which brings me to...

Male competition

Men are men here. I found in LA that many men were actually little beta bitches inside. Also some men were women, and some women were men. I'm pretty fit, but in Dallas I'm about mid-tier in terms of physique.

There are some "old money" and "new money" guys here, and plenty of "$30k millionaires" since the cost of living is pretty low. Guys will introduce themselves with something like "Oh, I'm in oil" or "I'm in real estate" but when you prod a bit more, you learn they're an accountant for an oil company or in the process of flipping a $50-$250k house.

I'm also fairly out-competed in social skills, especially smalltalk. Guys who grew up with southern hospitality for sure know how to chat it up far better than a formerly socially-retarded engineer lol.

Dance classes

A friend here introduced me to swing dance, so I went to a couple of classes/dances. The first half is a class where you're paired with different partners on rotation (so you meet everyone), and the second half is a free-for-all dance (more arrive after the class ends).

Most guys are the artistic type, so I've always been one of the more masculine guys there. Plenty of guys obviously came to attempt pickup (peacocking, too intense, etc), and plenty stood around in the back against the walls with approach anxiety.

Seeding

There was one I could've pulled for sure, but she was a bit too short for my preference. Everything else was great. Another downside of the abundance of high quality girls is that you get retardedly picky.

I blabbered about random crap, but burgers were a "hook". So we'd talk about random crap, then I'd relate/associate it back with burgers as a joke. Worked very well. We were laughing and chatting and dancing. Then I got hungry so I was like "fuck it" and left the dance floor to look up nearby restaurants. She found me and chatted me up again, and told me she knew some good places nearby. For some retarded reason I just wanted to eat alone and go to sleep.

Energy levels

There was another blonde, one of the hottest I've ever interacted with. We totally clicked and holy shit everything was perfect, until she told me she was 18. At the time I had a bit of an anti-pedo mental block on anyone under 21, so I kinda froze. I recovered, but my interest was gone.

I still debated pulling since things were going so well, but it felt too soon. She was really happy and excited, and pulling would be too much of an energy drop. What she needed was to dance more, but I was tired and too uninterested. That experience got rid of my stupid mental block. Anyone over 18 is game now lol.

COVID and riots

Neither really affected Dallas much. Riots only lasted 1 weekend since business owners in my area were firing warning shots, and Texas has been opening up since May. Most places still have social distancing rules, so it has been difficult to start conversations.

Managed to date 2 girls at the same time for a few months regardless of the issues. Met them through Tinder and OKCupid. One of them did modeling, so she was insanely hot in pictures. I was legit concerned I was gonna get catfished until we met up lol.

Deep dive

First dates with both of them lasted 3 or 4 hours. We pretty much covered all bases on the first date, including the politics and religion talk.
Everything was extremely smooth and textbook. Things really are silly easy if they're already into you. I decided not to progress to sex since I wasn't sold on either of them. The model girl was too slim in person, and the other was too old. I prefer early and mid 20s.

Current situation

Busy as fuck.

There's a girl I'm pursuing at the gym/boxing class. I'm currently unsure if she's shy or uninterested. Unfortunately I'm too braindead after work and workout for me to pull an A game. I've chat her up 3 times now, but they've been flat and dry.

Apart from that, I've been working from cafes and bars to see who I run into. Social distancing crap makes things difficult. Eh well, I'm not too worried about my dating life though. There's an abundance of youth and beauty here, and I've come a hell of a long way since I first found this site.

I'm pretty sure there are things I'm missing. I've been too busy to follow up on my journal in a timely fashion.

Thanks for reading.

 

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Barista does a 180 and goes cold

It was an interesting experience lol. First of the kind for me, I think. I'll call her X.

X was new to a cafe I work out of. Initially she was pretty awkward when taking my order and when we tried to smalltalk. I'd simply ask her how her day has been, and she'd awkwardly try to come up with a witty/interesting response. She'd look down upon eye contact. I'd sometimes eavesdrop on her conversations with other customers, and she'd sound very normal and confident. She has a pretty face and voice, so I've heard multiple guys try to chat her up. It seemed like she knew how to come off as polite yet uninterested, judging by her responses and tone.

I befriended the head barista a while back, so she often sits and chats with me during her break despite COVID. One day when they were both working, X joined us. I shifted my focus to her. I wasn't trying anything--if anything I was trying not to make the interaction seem like an interview. I just genuinely wanted to get to know her. I wasn't sexually or romantically interested in her though. Her hair's too short.

We had a pleasant chat, then she left to go make herself some food. She joined me again for her break, and I smiled to acknowledge her company. I decided to get back to work since I had spent like 20 minutes chatting with them. She was totally expecting me to continue talking to her. It wasn't an awkward silence for me--I was relaxed and working--but it was for her. Her eating became more anxious and rapid lol.

Then when she finished and got up to leave, she commented, "Well, THAT was amazing". Lol

She became cold after that. Short responses, plain tone, if she gave me eye contact it was like she was looking past me. She'd sometimes greet me with "What's it gonna be?" The quick flip and stark contrast was really interesting to experience.

Recently when I was chatting with the head barista, who does photography in her free time, showed me some amateur modeling shots she did with X. X actually came out pretty good. She probably has hot friends. I probably should've befriended her at least. Oops, lol.

 

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Appreciating the little victories

I was walking back to my stuff after gym class when I briefly locked eyes with a pretty dang attractive girl. I raised my hand up to my waist as a low-energy/DGAF sort of greet, which I think she saw. Her eyes/head was in the process of looking down when I did that.

I subconsciously went up to her and asked how her day was, then proceeded to have a short get-to-know convo. I now have more ammo for convo starters the next time I run into her.

I'm just pleased at the fact that I did that automatically. Starting conversations have always been a challenge for me.