She rejected me, but than her behavior suddenly changed

[Merkurio]

First of all, I want to tell, how grateful I am, that I found those articles. They make things clear to me and I wish I read them before. I registered here, because I need to ask for your opinion as I'm having troubles with solving and understanding my situation on my own.

I got to mention, that we are really young, but both legal, and I was the first guy, who liked her. And I didn't know, how to behave with girls. I met her on internet, fell in love, she liked me back and I went to her city for a couple days to know her in real life. She was really excited about that. We spent really great time together, but every time I tried to hug her or kiss her before saying goodbye and going back to the hotel, she gently refused me, then, when I was ready to go home, she rejected me, saying, what a great guy I was, but she only felt like I was her brother, not a guy to date. I was trying to hold her, begging for a chance to try, which was my mistake and I completely realize that.

Then I went back home, we were still friends on internet, but she never seemed interested in my life, she was cold, ignored my messages time to time. Then I've heard some rumors she had a boyfriend. I felt so bad, because I never wanted to give up on her, but at the same time I never wanted to force her, so I started searching for my mistakes and that's what I found and fixed:

- I stopped whining, complaining to her. I used to be a "poor boy", and that mindset was hard to change, so for the first time I had to completely quit telling her if anything bad happens, as I couldn't find balance. And now I sometimes do, but prefer situations, when she guesses about it and wants me to tell her.
- I quit sending too much messages and if I worry, that she doesn't respond for a very long time, I don't share that with her, I don't share with anyone or I tell my bf.
- I quit showing what a "great and talented" person I am.

After all, she was still cold enough, but more than in a half of a year after rejecting me, all of a sudden, it started to work or maybe her behavior changed bc of some unknown reason. It just happened "in a moment" and I don't know why.

That's what changed:

- If she somehow finds out, that I feel bad, she makes me go to the doc or take a painkiller or something.
- She asks me about the dr. appointment dates ant time and she remembers them and reminds me without asking (as I told, I don't like to show her my bad health or my other problems anymore).
- She told things like "Come more often", "(my name) is a good guy", "You've become a completely different person... In a very good way". When I told her before I was missing her, she never responded, she was just silent, but now, when we meet up in real life, she always says she missed me back.
- She told me she wanted to buy me a Christmas gift which she didn't buy and was feeling awkward about that... but it was like 2 or 3 months from Christmas. That was right when her behavior started changing.
- She gave me a great Birthday gift and told me so many pleasant things. Her voice sounded nostalgic and like she was touched. Last year, for example, all the wishes were brief, way shorter and way less warm and touching.
- She never brings up her boyfriend, but when she has to, she calls him "my friend", like I don't know who he actually is.
- When she was "cold" to me, she didn't really care about the way she looked when we meet. I don't mean I didn't like her when she didn't, but there's a huge difference between old jeans and dirty hair a half of a year ago and between her perfect hairdo and looking like a queen when I come now.
- She looks into my eyes. I often get shy and try to hide my eyes, turn my head, but she still reaches my face and makes eye contact.
- She only liked when I hugged her when meeting after long time no see. She didn't let me more. And now she strokes my spine and head, lets me do the same thing. I went for risk and kissed ner neck and near her mouth. She didn't pull me, so next time I gave her more neck kisses and they were longer. My friend was near, he said she smiled, closed her eyes and seemed happy.
- She can take my hand and if she notices it's cold again (bc of the diseases) she tries to warm it.

And it's not all, there's a lot of signs like that, I just can't remember them all. I don't know, what to think. She maybe started to like me back (but if she did, why?) and she's now too shy to make the first move and gives me hints. I had to be introduced to her boyfriend as we met at the same event. That guy looked a little bit pissy because she was trying to find me in the crowd all the evening, didn't talk to me. I had a gift I bought for her before she told me he was gonna be there. She knew about the surprise and was excited, asked me about that. I gave her it. She was VERY happy, she was looking at it carefully trying to notice all the details, telling me how beautiful my gift was and how she loved it and then she squeezed me real tight in her arms and stroked my spine, which was infront of her man, so shortly after that he took her with him and she had to say goodbye even though she wanted to stay for a little while to help me and my friend to find out how we go from the place we were in to his home.

I don't think like she's playing with me, she seems to be sincere and sometimes if she wants to meet up or give me a gift, she really tries her best to do that. I have a lot of questions and I hope you can help me with them.

Why did her behavior changed that much? Do I have a chance with her? What should I do and what I shouldn't do? Am I finally going in the right direction?

Thank you.

 

[Big Daddy]

It's not clear from your post your age, her age, how far you are from each other or how frequently you can visit.

Why did her behavior changed that much? Do I have a chance with her? What should I do and what I shouldn't do? Am I finally going in the right direction?

She might like you, she might just be looking for attention. It's foolish to devote too much thought to it, because if you think about her too much you WILL revert to your back self. And as soon as you revert to your back self, if she is indeed attracted to you now, it will vanish instantly.

Women are attracted to powerful men. Powerful men have many options, including girls. If she believes she's not the only girl in your life, she will become more attracted to you. Just by being more absent she will imagine if there is another girl in the picture, start craving back the attention you gave her and investing more or trying to please you more to see if you give some attention back to her.

The powerful man has too much to get done a short, exciting life to get by. Ain't nobody got time for that. Here's what you need to do to make her your lover: next time you go visit her, without fail, invite her back to see some bullshit in your hotel room. Doesn't matter what it is. Then take her as your lover.

Take a look at this post: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... -ever-need. Her boyfriend is Pete. You must be Jerry to get her.


P.S. I can see you like this girl, but don't try to make her your girlfriend in a long-distance situation. You'll go nuts and severely limit the numbers of girls that you can be with. Don't picture it like that. Ideally, you only want to ever be in a long distance relationship for no longer than six months, and when you've been together for some time already.

That said, you can definitively turn this girl into a lover that you can see once a month, for example, and I think that's what you should strive for. Maintain that dynamic for as long as you need to until the both of you can be in the same city. But do not treat her as your girlfriend until then.

 

[Merkurio]

It's not clear from your post your age, her age, how far you are from each other or how frequently you can visit.

We are 19 years old, it's legal where I live. We live in separate cities 4 hours by train, I visit her city like 2-3 times a season, because she and many of my friends live there. I want to move there in the future.

She might like you, she might just be looking for attention. It's foolish to devote too much thought to it, because if you think about her too much you WILL revert to your back self. And as soon as you revert to your back self, if she is indeed attracted to you now, it will vanish instantly.

And that's why I'm trying to hide from her the fact I can be concerned about her and what she thinks of me. I try to do my stuff, read books, listen to music. She never knows if I care too much. My friend does.

Just by being more absent she will imagine if there is another girl in the picture, start craving back the attention you gave her and investing more or trying to please you more to see if you give some attention back to her.

There's a girl who likes me, but she's a bit weird, stalks me and I avoid her. My love knows of this situation and she's extremely interested in it. She can text me when she didn't text for a couple days just to ask if that stalker girl finally left me alone. Me or my friends don't bring up the stalker girl as often as my love does. Sometimes they meet in real life cause they live in the same city, then my love is watching her carefully and telling me everything. The same thing she does with my ex girlfriend, she checks her account regulary.

The powerful man has too much to get done a short, exciting life to get by. Ain't nobody got time for that. Here's what you need to do to make her your lover: next time you go visit her, without fail, invite her back to see some bullshit in your hotel room. Doesn't matter what it is. Then take her as your lover.

Take a look at this post: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... -ever-need. Her boyfriend is Pete. You must be Jerry to get her.

Thank you. Will try.

P.S. I can see you like this girl, but don't try to make her your girlfriend in a long-distance situation. You'll go nuts and severely limit the numbers of girls that you can be with. Don't picture it like that. Ideally, you only want to ever be in a long distance relationship for no longer than six months, and when you've been together for some time already.

I'm gonna move to her city. I don't know how soon, but if she becomes my girlfriend, the process would become faster.

That said, you can definitively turn this girl into a lover that you can see once a month, for example, and I think that's what you should strive for. Maintain that dynamic for as long as you need to until the both of you can be in the same city. But do not treat her as your girlfriend until then.

Smart enough. I'm trying to get a job, then once a month would be possible. Glad to see my plan was good.