Marty,
Yes, this was in one day, though not a business trip: I was in Florida for personal reasons. While I didn't do any approaches while I was there, the trip back was exciting.
I am sure superficial party girls are also one of the easiest ones to sleep with...the question is "how?"
Yeah, sometimes when they say an excuse like that, I return the most quizzical, confused look, like "are you really trying to tell me that, as if I believe it?"
-----
Bah...okay, it's kind of hard to admit this to myself, but I screwed up. I've been feeling kind of down lately, and haven't been approaching/studying this past week as priorities from a different side of my life have suddenly taken a far greater commitment of my energy. Yet, in the stress of it I smoked weed and watched some porn last night (after ~140 days). Huge mistake. This morning I woke up with what felt like a hangover, and nearly zero libido and strength to be optimistic and positive. Even though I know it's all bad for me in the long run sometimes the cravings take precedence and I can't resist. I've been here before, though, and I must reacquire that hunger to stop these urges. New focus: nothing ever again. I am done for good with porn, and I am going to stay away from MJ for at least six months.
I had a third date with one girl this weekend, and got her completely naked in the back of the car as we fooled around, yet again met my friend LMR. I had ED with her, which tells me that my inner libido is still not yet fully withdrawn from porn. She felt like men judge women that sleep with them too fast, though i told her over and over, both before the fooling around while we were having dinner, while in the car, and afterward, that I am not someone that judges, and it actually makes me feel bad when I can't give my partners what they want, after she had verbalized that she's really horny and hasn't had sex in a few months. I am not sure if I want to have sex with her anymore, as I have a sense that she seems more romantically inclined and could just end up getting hurt if she has sex with me.
I had another semi-date with a girl Saturday night; it turned more friendly over time, but I did learn a few very important things that will help me in the months to come. The most important is that I tend to come off to women as inauthentic, as she got the perception of me as someone with many, many layers that are hiding the beast underneath, that beast being who I really, truly am, the desire and ignition that drives my core. I've heard this several times in the past few months from different people, so it can't just be made up. I think my traumas from the past are unresolved issues that tend to keep me from attaining my goals, including more success with women; these traumas have also created a mask I wear that hides my true redeeming qualities, and this mask also pushes away potential partners. A second revelation is that I might be someone that subconsciously feels badly about my sex. When I thought about it, I suddenly realized that even though the vast majority of my prior partners have described sex with me as being at the low end "very satisfying" and at a higher end "awesome," "exciting," "passionate," and "unselfish," and even though I've tried to give them all the best experience I can, I also readily feel like in the moment I'm not doing a good enough job and that they're not actually satisfied; that they're just saying that to make me feel better. There's no logic behind this, except to verify my own subconscious feeling that I'm not good enough. And in believing this self-fulfilling prophecy, I confirm my own subconscious when women don't sleep with me. I think I'm damaging my interactions with women FROM THE OPENING, because I don't truly believe, confidently, deep inside, that she's going to get a ride of her life if she comes home with me. These inner issues are, incidentally, also directly connected with my progress in becoming a lover of women and following the process of How To Make Girls Chase.
I know it's bad to take dating advice from women, but I do also think these two ideas are long-term "inner game" issues I need to resolve.
In a culmination of everything, I've also been missing my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, but I also know I can't ever go back to that route. I've already scuttled the ship and there's only one way to go--forward.
Marty said:
Yes, this was in one day, though not a business trip: I was in Florida for personal reasons. While I didn't do any approaches while I was there, the trip back was exciting.
Marty said:I can empathize... superficial girls of this sort that are obviously "bad for me" nonetheless exert a gravitational pull because of their looks and bodies. What can a man do?I usually stay away though for fear of getting hurt!
I am sure superficial party girls are also one of the easiest ones to sleep with...the question is "how?"
Thank you, I'll have to remember this one.Marty said:My line is: "Nice?!" (Look away, enigmatic smile, pause, look her back in the eye) "Just wait till you get to know me
Marty said:
Yeah, sometimes when they say an excuse like that, I return the most quizzical, confused look, like "are you really trying to tell me that, as if I believe it?"
-----
Bah...okay, it's kind of hard to admit this to myself, but I screwed up. I've been feeling kind of down lately, and haven't been approaching/studying this past week as priorities from a different side of my life have suddenly taken a far greater commitment of my energy. Yet, in the stress of it I smoked weed and watched some porn last night (after ~140 days). Huge mistake. This morning I woke up with what felt like a hangover, and nearly zero libido and strength to be optimistic and positive. Even though I know it's all bad for me in the long run sometimes the cravings take precedence and I can't resist. I've been here before, though, and I must reacquire that hunger to stop these urges. New focus: nothing ever again. I am done for good with porn, and I am going to stay away from MJ for at least six months.
I had a third date with one girl this weekend, and got her completely naked in the back of the car as we fooled around, yet again met my friend LMR. I had ED with her, which tells me that my inner libido is still not yet fully withdrawn from porn. She felt like men judge women that sleep with them too fast, though i told her over and over, both before the fooling around while we were having dinner, while in the car, and afterward, that I am not someone that judges, and it actually makes me feel bad when I can't give my partners what they want, after she had verbalized that she's really horny and hasn't had sex in a few months. I am not sure if I want to have sex with her anymore, as I have a sense that she seems more romantically inclined and could just end up getting hurt if she has sex with me.
I had another semi-date with a girl Saturday night; it turned more friendly over time, but I did learn a few very important things that will help me in the months to come. The most important is that I tend to come off to women as inauthentic, as she got the perception of me as someone with many, many layers that are hiding the beast underneath, that beast being who I really, truly am, the desire and ignition that drives my core. I've heard this several times in the past few months from different people, so it can't just be made up. I think my traumas from the past are unresolved issues that tend to keep me from attaining my goals, including more success with women; these traumas have also created a mask I wear that hides my true redeeming qualities, and this mask also pushes away potential partners. A second revelation is that I might be someone that subconsciously feels badly about my sex. When I thought about it, I suddenly realized that even though the vast majority of my prior partners have described sex with me as being at the low end "very satisfying" and at a higher end "awesome," "exciting," "passionate," and "unselfish," and even though I've tried to give them all the best experience I can, I also readily feel like in the moment I'm not doing a good enough job and that they're not actually satisfied; that they're just saying that to make me feel better. There's no logic behind this, except to verify my own subconscious feeling that I'm not good enough. And in believing this self-fulfilling prophecy, I confirm my own subconscious when women don't sleep with me. I think I'm damaging my interactions with women FROM THE OPENING, because I don't truly believe, confidently, deep inside, that she's going to get a ride of her life if she comes home with me. These inner issues are, incidentally, also directly connected with my progress in becoming a lover of women and following the process of How To Make Girls Chase.
I know it's bad to take dating advice from women, but I do also think these two ideas are long-term "inner game" issues I need to resolve.
In a culmination of everything, I've also been missing my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, but I also know I can't ever go back to that route. I've already scuttled the ship and there's only one way to go--forward.
