- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 4/26:
Hey guys.
So I've been doing more reading and evaluating (fun right?) and it FINALLY clicked for me. Before, I was making sex my aim with girls because "I want to get laid". But there was a few issues with this:
- I failed to set the right expectations with women
- If a girl didn't want to have sex, it bummed me out (and the seduction crashed and burned)
- I came across more needy
I realized I can't make sex my goal. After all, high-value guys are OK not having sex. They don't need sex. It's just fun and a nice break. It's not so serious.
What finally clicked for me is that sex is the FOCUS, not the GOAL. In other words, in every interaction with women, I move the interaction TOWARDS sex, but if sex doesn't happen that is OK because it is not the GOAL. (Chase said this in an article, but it didn't CLICK for me)
So then I went on a search for what my GOAL should be. I decided it should be this: How is this woman going to add value to my life?
If the women will only add value to my life sexually, I need to be upfront with her and set the right expectations (meeting for sex only). In my mind, this should be done BEFORE I have sex with her the first time. Otherwise, you've miscommunicated and someone can end up hurt.
If I want the girl for a FWB relationship, I also need to set the right expectations. But in my mind, this could be done after having sex the first time (because now you've had sex and want to again).
If I want a girl for a relationship, I let her chase the relationship after sex and, after deciding "yes I want this girl as a girlfriend", I set the terms of the relationship moving forward.
The issue I was having was that I wanted to meet these girls and just have sex with them (to get laid), but I didn't communicate that in the right way. This lead to a lot of mistakes in my seductions.
So I evaluate girls against my standards for each category and have an end-goal in mind. I properly communicate expectations based on the girl and lead the interaction accordingly.
ITS LIKE A BUNCH OF GC ARTICLES FINALLY CLICKED IN MY BRAIN.
Talk about crazy lol.
So, when I go out to a lounge (being consistent with what I said before), I approach a girl from the side, open with a speaker-centered opener, build intrigue, lock in, build compliance, arousal, and similarity. I set up the date (or do an insta-date). At the date (or before), I determine how this girl is going to add value to my life. I am upfront with expectations (if wanting only sex). I lead the date accordingly, taking her home and have sex. I then set the terms if she's going to be a FWB or girlfriend (or maybe I just get used for sex and don't hear from her again).
This makes so much more sense than spam-approaching and hoping to get sex from a girl.
Now to make sure I have down how to set the right expectations and am clear on my standards for girlfriends, flings, and FWBs.
Till the next insight (or once the corona restrictions clear, field reports),
NBW
Hey guys.
So I've been doing more reading and evaluating (fun right?) and it FINALLY clicked for me. Before, I was making sex my aim with girls because "I want to get laid". But there was a few issues with this:
- I failed to set the right expectations with women
- If a girl didn't want to have sex, it bummed me out (and the seduction crashed and burned)
- I came across more needy
I realized I can't make sex my goal. After all, high-value guys are OK not having sex. They don't need sex. It's just fun and a nice break. It's not so serious.
What finally clicked for me is that sex is the FOCUS, not the GOAL. In other words, in every interaction with women, I move the interaction TOWARDS sex, but if sex doesn't happen that is OK because it is not the GOAL. (Chase said this in an article, but it didn't CLICK for me)
So then I went on a search for what my GOAL should be. I decided it should be this: How is this woman going to add value to my life?
If the women will only add value to my life sexually, I need to be upfront with her and set the right expectations (meeting for sex only). In my mind, this should be done BEFORE I have sex with her the first time. Otherwise, you've miscommunicated and someone can end up hurt.
If I want the girl for a FWB relationship, I also need to set the right expectations. But in my mind, this could be done after having sex the first time (because now you've had sex and want to again).
If I want a girl for a relationship, I let her chase the relationship after sex and, after deciding "yes I want this girl as a girlfriend", I set the terms of the relationship moving forward.
The issue I was having was that I wanted to meet these girls and just have sex with them (to get laid), but I didn't communicate that in the right way. This lead to a lot of mistakes in my seductions.
So I evaluate girls against my standards for each category and have an end-goal in mind. I properly communicate expectations based on the girl and lead the interaction accordingly.
ITS LIKE A BUNCH OF GC ARTICLES FINALLY CLICKED IN MY BRAIN.
Talk about crazy lol.
So, when I go out to a lounge (being consistent with what I said before), I approach a girl from the side, open with a speaker-centered opener, build intrigue, lock in, build compliance, arousal, and similarity. I set up the date (or do an insta-date). At the date (or before), I determine how this girl is going to add value to my life. I am upfront with expectations (if wanting only sex). I lead the date accordingly, taking her home and have sex. I then set the terms if she's going to be a FWB or girlfriend (or maybe I just get used for sex and don't hear from her again).
This makes so much more sense than spam-approaching and hoping to get sex from a girl.
Now to make sure I have down how to set the right expectations and am clear on my standards for girlfriends, flings, and FWBs.
Till the next insight (or once the corona restrictions clear, field reports),
NBW