Hey guys. I'm a long time reader of the site and a lurker on the forums, but I recently decided to make an account and officially join the community here.
Anyway, I have a question that I've been mulling over for the past few weeks that I wanted to put out there for you guys to chew on and maybe help me figure out. I personally have too limited of an experience pool to come up with a definitive answer.
So, my understanding is that when a man does his job correctly in a relationship, or any seduction really, he positions himself as the leader of the relationship. He stands at the "helm", so to speak, making the hard decisions, guiding the relationship through harsh seas, and taking care of his counterpart, and eventually his children as well. He carries the risks and pressures of decisionmaking, as well as the expectations of his counterpart to do his job with skill and competence. But he also has the freedom to choose where the relationship goes, and receives the bulk of the credit for the success of a relationship.
The woman, on the other hand, is a supporter. She is no less important, of course - a leader is not a leader if he has no one to lead- and she has responsibilities and benefits in a relationship just as the man does. But her role is nonetheless a different one. Both the man and the woman cannot be calling the shots. Her job centers around supporting the man in his role, much like a support beam holding up a roof. The roof and the support beam need each other, but they don't do the same job. Traditionally, her supporting role involves such things like cooking and cleaning, taking care of the children, and doing domestic tasks. (I think it can be different, depending on the man and the woman. If the woman hates cleaning, for instance, and the man recognizes this and takes care of the cleaning by either delegating it to the children, hiring someone to do it, or even doing it himself when needed, the leader-supporter system doesn't just crumble - it adapts. The woman may support the man in other ways, and the man is still taking care of the woman by meeting her needs. As long as the man doesn't do it from a place of supplication, his role is still cemented. It all depends on the couple and how they complement one another - but I digress.)
Amidst all of the feminist and egalitarian rhetoric flying around these days, I began to wonder if these roles are actually biologically suited to the genders we have assigned them to. Obviously, the leader-supporter system speaks for itself. Anyone who has seen it can attest to it's merit. My question is (finally): Is the role of leader best filled by a man? And is the role of supporter best filled by a woman? I would never want to be in a relationship where the woman is in charge, because... well, fuck that, right? But for a dominant woman and a less dominant man, could the relationship hypothetically work? Or in homosexual relationships where the roles aren't so clear cut based on gender?
My hunch is that, as long as the roles are clear, agreed upon, and properly fulfilled, that the relationship can work no matter what gender fulfills each role. But I couldn't find any good studies to back this up, and I don't have enough life or relationship experience to back up my prediction. So, what do you guys think?
Anyway, I have a question that I've been mulling over for the past few weeks that I wanted to put out there for you guys to chew on and maybe help me figure out. I personally have too limited of an experience pool to come up with a definitive answer.
So, my understanding is that when a man does his job correctly in a relationship, or any seduction really, he positions himself as the leader of the relationship. He stands at the "helm", so to speak, making the hard decisions, guiding the relationship through harsh seas, and taking care of his counterpart, and eventually his children as well. He carries the risks and pressures of decisionmaking, as well as the expectations of his counterpart to do his job with skill and competence. But he also has the freedom to choose where the relationship goes, and receives the bulk of the credit for the success of a relationship.
The woman, on the other hand, is a supporter. She is no less important, of course - a leader is not a leader if he has no one to lead- and she has responsibilities and benefits in a relationship just as the man does. But her role is nonetheless a different one. Both the man and the woman cannot be calling the shots. Her job centers around supporting the man in his role, much like a support beam holding up a roof. The roof and the support beam need each other, but they don't do the same job. Traditionally, her supporting role involves such things like cooking and cleaning, taking care of the children, and doing domestic tasks. (I think it can be different, depending on the man and the woman. If the woman hates cleaning, for instance, and the man recognizes this and takes care of the cleaning by either delegating it to the children, hiring someone to do it, or even doing it himself when needed, the leader-supporter system doesn't just crumble - it adapts. The woman may support the man in other ways, and the man is still taking care of the woman by meeting her needs. As long as the man doesn't do it from a place of supplication, his role is still cemented. It all depends on the couple and how they complement one another - but I digress.)
Amidst all of the feminist and egalitarian rhetoric flying around these days, I began to wonder if these roles are actually biologically suited to the genders we have assigned them to. Obviously, the leader-supporter system speaks for itself. Anyone who has seen it can attest to it's merit. My question is (finally): Is the role of leader best filled by a man? And is the role of supporter best filled by a woman? I would never want to be in a relationship where the woman is in charge, because... well, fuck that, right? But for a dominant woman and a less dominant man, could the relationship hypothetically work? Or in homosexual relationships where the roles aren't so clear cut based on gender?
My hunch is that, as long as the roles are clear, agreed upon, and properly fulfilled, that the relationship can work no matter what gender fulfills each role. But I couldn't find any good studies to back this up, and I don't have enough life or relationship experience to back up my prediction. So, what do you guys think?
