I always have issues with authority...

[daviddreamer]

Need some help here because lately I have tried to dig into my personality and find out why I am having issues all the time. Since my first job when I was 15 till now at the age of 23 I always have trouble with authority and people ordering me around.

Ironically I serve in the United States military. I have a little less then 2 years on my contract.

As far as military service goes I'm a pretty good trooper. I do my job and do it pretty well. I never show up late to work (well except once and I got in trouble for that didn't have an excuse I just told them straight up I woke up late I never lie about anything I'm pretty blunt person) I get along with everybody but when someone of higher rank talks down to me or tries to patronize me I lash out and respond back sometimes angrily, sometimes sarcastically. I'm always told to "shut up and color" pretty much but I can't do that. Just because someone of higher rank talks down to me and yells at me like a child am I suppose to just stand there and take it? I pretty much can't hold my tongue and its gotten me into a lot of trouble. I tend to roll my eyes a lot at these people. I'm on pace to getting in some serious trouble..

A few examples...

NCO: (yelling at me and what not)
ME: ah whatever dude can't you just tell me in a calm manner instead of acting like an ass?
NCO: Are you really talking back to me? Are you aware of Article 15 disrespecting an NCO?
ME: Umm whats the law for disrespecting a troop of lower rank? wheres that at? (me trying to be sarcasic)

NCO: Did you shave today?
ME: No I forgot
NCO: Are you aware of the standard how many times you gonna keep this up? You're on a slippery road son
ME: Like a few fuzzies is gonna effect the quality of my work...sir
NCO: (blank angry stare)

I have examples like these for days...

I read in this book from the 48 laws of power that if you want to gain influence and what/not then you should respect people of higher authority then you and get on their side socially. But I feel like by doing this I sell my soul in a way. I don't wanna pretend to like anyone just because they're my boss. I'm pretty much on Peter Gibbons status right now. I wish a consultant would come along and say "that guy is a straight shooter with upper management written all over him". (laughs...)

And another internal conflict is that when I know someone is a crap leader I pretty much don't respect them rather quickly. and I part of me thinks I have a high criteria for people in these positions of authority. Throughout my 5 year military career I can only count 2 individuals that I would do everything in my power to work hard for and respect....I don't know if the problem is me (I think it is though subconsciously otherwise I wouldn't be making this thread) or I have ran into some bad luck with authority.

 

[trashKENNUT]

daviddreamer,

As far as military service goes I'm a pretty good trooper. I do my job and do it pretty well. I never show up late to work (well except once and I got in trouble for that didn't have an excuse I just told them straight up I woke up late I never lie about anything I'm pretty blunt person) I get along with everybody but when someone of higher rank talks down to me or tries to patronize me I lash out and respond back sometimes angrily, sometimes sarcastically. I'm always told to "shut up and color" pretty much but I can't do that. Just because someone of higher rank talks down to me and yells at me like a child am I suppose to just stand there and take it? I pretty much can't hold my tongue and its gotten me into a lot of trouble. I tend to roll my eyes a lot at these people. I'm on pace to getting in some serious trouble..

Exactly, you are going into some serious trouble.

I am not trying to say that you should be a fucking doormat, but show a bit of laziness when they try to talk you down and make you do things. Be non-chalant about it, just try to make them work hard for you without looking like it was done on purpose. And also, be non-reactive to it. Just be inside your head like "yea yea whatever".

I have serve 2 years in my National Conscription. I'm on your side.

Zac

 

[daviddreamer]

Probably not a bad idea Zac if I respond calmly and keep my emotions in check. I think I can show better social dominance this way....and its quite possible I'll get less heat and trouble if I'm not talking back. The "leaders" I have now are just too authoritarian for me too handle I think.

 

[trashKENNUT]

daviddreamer,

The "leaders" I have now are just too authoritarian for me too handle I think.

It's unfortunate but the rules in National Service or military in precise, is very different. This are just different environments where what you learn here on Girlschase or any dating websites, or any self help stuff, doesn't work in full.

You have to keep yourself moderate in this kind of environments.

Zac

 

[daviddreamer]

Yeah I'm not a good fit for these things Zac its like as if asking questions is looked down upon. I guess I should attempt to keep my head down until my contract is over. Seriously feel like a caged animal sometimes. The only thing that keeps me sane from my job is knowing that I'm working hard towards my bachelors degree (I have about a year left) and I'm doing things to bulk up a resume so I'll be ready when I get out to pursue what I really wanna do in life. But I'm gonna hinder myself if I get in too much trouble and don't get honorably separated.

I would of never joined the military had I known myself more in the past. but hey I was 18....what was I suppose to know? And nothing against anyone in the military or people or who work good under these systems...its just not for me.

Internal conflicts suck.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Just in case,

Thought if you didn't trust me or anything. I crop out my ex mates (for privacy, and it's quite a long while). This is my photo while i was in there for 2 years. Mine isn't in the army but it was more of an USAR (urban search and rescue). We were in the bunk after training. Don't worry.. i was lazy and didn't do crazy stuff as much as my mates did, my back still hurts (gotta protect yourself!) but the experience was kinda remembering. Btw, You will be kinda surprised if you see my other photo that i posted here, you assumed i am multi-colored!!!

Put me in the sun and people think i am "black". Put me in air conditioned for 6 straight months, and suddenly i am "fair" (lighter brown). Perceptions are funny.

Zac

 

[trashKENNUT]

DrexelScott,

Fuck em. Put up with their shit if you want, or get booted out and pursue your own goals instead. There's nothing "honorable" about taking shit from a bunch of assholes, in my humble opinion. As you can probably tell, I don't take orders well either, unless I like my boss. Then I don't care and just banter with them while doing what they've asked.

No disrespect to you.

I am sure hope he do not get treated like a doormat. Yes... Most uniformed service officers have false power, true. But he has a contract. And contract with government agencies are harder to terminate, especially uniform service.

In my humble opinion, I serve in the military for 2 years. IT's a conscription. You can say that it is a force thing by the government. There's nothing honorable maybe... but you have to tow the line without really towing the line.

I have garnered respect from Majors, Captains, Lieutenant Colonel, my peers and other vocations as their "trustworthy guy and guy they can depend on". Almost all of them have treated me well after they know i do their work diligently. Am i a life saviour? No, of course not. But i did the best out of most situations while i was in there.

Sometimes, you have to prove to people, especially in such places. People are different but there will be a lot of people that respect you. Some won't because they are not worth it. Still, you tow the line and make sure they have to work hard to get you, especially in this type of places. Because they can send you to detention barracks and use "reason" to put you in that cell. When you in that cell for more than three days, there's a black mark on your record, for my country at least.

You can say this people do similar much like a hate crime if you can say.

Zac

 

[daviddreamer]

Well since i made this thread I have made some improvements. I simply came to the conclusion that I had to

-Work on my own communication skills with coworkers and authority
-Accept the fact I signed up for a system that is very autocratic and commands aren't meant to be defied ...no one forced me to sign that contract. I could argue I was 18 and dumb and didn't know anything but hey sometimes the best lessons learned in life are the toughest ones
-Focus on the positive
-Take pride in my work even if I don't like my job. At the end of the day if I take my job not serious I won't take myself serious.

That's pretty much it.