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- Nov 7, 2019
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Been in more of a taking vs giving trend (for my own standards) recently so thought I'd just give value in this post by going into my 1st date lay process.
As many of you know I'm a numbers guy so I'll say this to build credibility not brag - this month (April) I've slept with 5/6 girls first time from dates.
(x4 from OD x1 NG where I number closed then followed up).
In my past posts I was a big proponent of Day 2 method & I think it's a useful a tool in your toolkit but after a certain level it makes more sense to go for 1st date lays.
It's more efficient, girls hook better & just sets all the right frames from the start.
Before I dive in, Chase's post >here< is a must read and covers the fundamentals. I'm going to add details that have levelled up my consistency.
Some are very obvious, but when you simply do the basics well and avoid mistakes you're halfway there.
Logistics
Emotions
E.g. Talking about fun sexual experiences "in general" vs you adding pressure to get it from her.
Calibration
Recent lay calibration example
Re-frame
LMR
What I'm seeing now is that if I've done a good enough job with the above points I don't even get LMR.
If I do get it it tends to be girls being horny but not willing themselves to sleep with me. I'm in the final stages of trouble shooting this but so far these have been my highest odds plays:
1. Ease off - make her feel at ease to know you aren't desperate, deep dive, connect with her on common values then escalate again
2. Get her very horny - based on her sexual preferences she's already shared with you tip her over the edge so that she wants it more than you
3. End the date - in a nonbitter way have fun, carry on talking then end it. My last lay had this where I ended the date & she then asked to stay over lol
Anyway that's my attempt at sharing the process. The better I get the harder it is to share as things are nowadays just "felt" but even writing this down helps me become more consciously competent.
Hope that helps someone
Onwards & Upwards
As many of you know I'm a numbers guy so I'll say this to build credibility not brag - this month (April) I've slept with 5/6 girls first time from dates.
(x4 from OD x1 NG where I number closed then followed up).
In my past posts I was a big proponent of Day 2 method & I think it's a useful a tool in your toolkit but after a certain level it makes more sense to go for 1st date lays.
It's more efficient, girls hook better & just sets all the right frames from the start.
Before I dive in, Chase's post >here< is a must read and covers the fundamentals. I'm going to add details that have levelled up my consistency.
Some are very obvious, but when you simply do the basics well and avoid mistakes you're halfway there.
Logistics
- Pick a spot as close to your place as possible. Maximum 10-15 minute uber away. Ideally a short walk.
- Keep dates simple. My current rotation is a "cute" bar or park
- Sometimes girls decline meeting close to you, you have x2 options
- Option 1: Meet halfway then pull her back to yours anyway
- Option 2: Meet halfway run a solid date then invite her back to your place for Day 2
- Option 3: Meet halfway run a solid date then go to her place
- Option 4: Don't bother with the date and find a girl who's more compliant right away
- If you go on a date with a girl who's pushing for you to come closer to her. I'd recommend you mentally take sex off the table and just go there there out of curiosity/experience. She'll sense it off you & ironically more likely to get what you want.
- Sometimes girls decline meeting close to you, you have x2 options
- Make sure your place is tidy, clean & smells nice so that she's comfortable.
Emotions
- You want to transfer emotions that are beneficial to seduction. Everyone has their own but some fool-proof ones I use are:
- 1) Comfort, 2) Secret Society, 3) Lover of Sex (and good at it), 4) Non-Judgmental, 5) Fun,
- You can find the exact examples that I use/say here
- Sexual Prizing /2nd Gen was one of the biggest improvements in my game. I don't even fully understand the definition lol I just know it works.
E.g. Talking about fun sexual experiences "in general" vs you adding pressure to get it from her.
- Start with normal fun sociable conversation so she knows you're not weird.
- Transition to sexual conversations like it's no big-deal
- A transition I stole from someone else is talk about dating experience (which girls love talking about) then transition to sex like no big deal
- Examples of "no-big deal" sexual questions:
- What's the craziest sexual experience you've done?
- What was a fun experience that really stood out to you
- What makes sex good to you
- Often girls get shy at this point so I normally get the ball rolling. In an amused almost eye rolling tone I'm like come one we're all adults with a smirk, I'll go first if you feel shy, I'm into public sex & I learnt how to tie rope in lockdown (find this enough to get girls interested but not scare the less experienced girls away
- A transition I stole from someone else is talk about dating experience (which girls love talking about) then transition to sex like no big deal
- Once you've hit a good vibe (typically 1 hour in) but can be sooner of flicking between social discussions and sexual ones use any plausbile deniability excuse of yours to take her home. Mine's usually cocktails but I've known guys use music or art. You also want to do it on a high note so she know's it's on
- A transition I use is: I'm really enjoying this (wait for her to say it back), want to carry on hanging out to you let's do [plausible deniability e.g. get cocktails from my place and not over-pay here]
- Caution - if you get hesitation here you can decide to carry on the date then invite her back later or transition to getting her emotions to a good place to avoid negative compliance then seed a 2nd date.
Calibration
- Thissssssssssssssssssssssssssss is how you go from 50% to 90% date to lay conversions. It's adjusting yourself to the girl based on what she needs
- The good thing about talking to a girl about sex is that you don't only get her horny but she will literally tell you how she likes to be seduced.
- For example in this lay a girl told me how she likes getting chocked, so I used that on her when escalating and she melted
Recent lay calibration example
- In a recent lay this weekend a girl told me about how she wanted "something serious" so I played up my provider vibe by sharing how ambitious I was, how one of my favourite memories is being with my uncle's large family, then linked arms with her while walking so she "felt" like I could give her that.
- It all has to be subtle and not feel forced
- You almost want to see it like: there's x2 conversations being had. The top of the ice berg conversation and beneath the surface
- All your beneath the surface conversation is what will get your ice berg outcomes. A classic is plausible deniability. Me saying come to mine for cocktails is code for sex. Saying it explicitally will trigger her defences. Saying it subtly makes her feel comfortable that I can read her, can escalate things well
- Is it silly that we have to play this dance? Probably but is what it is I don't make the rules lol. You always have to think what emotion does the story or statement I make convey? and does that emotion I convey lead to the outcomes I want.
- Another ridiculously common calibration point for girls is social frames. When she's at your place, vibe and speak with her basically carry on the date. This can only come with experience tbh but sometimes a girl wants to comfortable and not another number ways to do that are:
- Tell me more about [xyz personal fact she mentioned earlier]
- Don't escalate too many steps. I.E sat apart then lunge at her. Instead close the gap, chit-chat, start stroking her, chit-chat, eye contact then look at her lips, chit-chat, then by the time you kiss her there's no surprises. When I'm feeling lazy I don't even say that and just say "been wanting to kiss you for a while now"... Some girls then lunge at you. Some girls say "no yet". You chill out, talk then go to kiss her and she's expecting it / it's plain sailing. Have to remember girls feel nervious too and often just talk to fill the space lol.
Re-frame
- A key part of calibrating is re-framing. To go back to the iceberg analogy, your ice berg is that you want sex with the girl. Your beneath the surface conversation is conveying emotions to make her feel comfortable and want it too
- Sometimes girls will challenge the top of the iceberg and not want to have quick sex due to an emotion that is beneath the surface. This is getting very abstract so I'll give a common example:
- Girl: I don't have sex to soon because I'm not easy
- Me: Really? I think the whole easy or hard thing is bullshit. If you vibe with someone and it clicks it doesn't matter how long you've known them. I've known girls for years that I'd never sleep with and Ex's of 2 years I slept with 1st date. Hell I think it's sad if a girl's never met someone who's clicked with a guy like that right away...
- She says "she's not easy" but her real objection is I want to feel valued. I've read that and rather than agreeing (which isn't good for quick sex I want) or getting into a logical debate, I give her womanese that packages what I want "quick sex" in a way that still makes her feel valued, desirable and even strange if she doesn't go for it! As no one wants to be seen as lacking passion.
LMR
What I'm seeing now is that if I've done a good enough job with the above points I don't even get LMR.
If I do get it it tends to be girls being horny but not willing themselves to sleep with me. I'm in the final stages of trouble shooting this but so far these have been my highest odds plays:
1. Ease off - make her feel at ease to know you aren't desperate, deep dive, connect with her on common values then escalate again
2. Get her very horny - based on her sexual preferences she's already shared with you tip her over the edge so that she wants it more than you
3. End the date - in a nonbitter way have fun, carry on talking then end it. My last lay had this where I ended the date & she then asked to stay over lol
Anyway that's my attempt at sharing the process. The better I get the harder it is to share as things are nowadays just "felt" but even writing this down helps me become more consciously competent.
Hope that helps someone
Onwards & Upwards
