Oh, this is a cool thread. The other one linked to is cool too, though I must’ve missed it – looks like it was from back in 2013.
Yeah, this is a thing with more beautiful girls. The more beautiful a girl is, the more conservatively she plays her sexual hand; fewer one-night stands, fewer casual relationships, etc. I’ve had a few guys debate this with me and claim it isn’t true, but my own experience says otherwise, and most guys I talk to agree; the
research seems to support it as well.
What it seems to me to be is the come-down from the post-sex emotional buzz where she’s walking around for a few days going, “Wow, Drexel really swept me off my feet… I can’t stop smiling! If everyone at work knew… but of course I can’t tell them!” If you manage things properly, this buzz can last a few days.
Then the come-down hits, and it’s “Wait, what is this… is this just a relationship where I go to see him and he ejaculates inside me, like he does with all those less beautiful girls trying to parlay their sexual availability into a lasting relationship? Oh my God, I hope that’s not it. Oh no.”
Girls who are only moderately attractive tend to be okay spending time on a higher caliber guy in hopes of him growing complacent with them and
falling into a relationship. Beautiful girls are much more time sensitive; every beautiful girlfriend I’ve had has told me she doesn’t want to “waste time” with me if the relationship isn’t going anywhere, something I’ve never heard from girls who were just cute.
Anyway, the rule of thumb I operate from is that a girl is not “converted” into a girlfriend until you’ve slept with her three (3) times. Sometimes you will convert her the second time you sleep with her, if she protests / resists sex the second time you see her. Then you still say to yourself mentally, “Well, I’ve got to sleep with her 3 times before she’s definitely converted,” but you kinda know the resistance to establishing a regular sexual relationship has already been overcome and she’s now effectively “yours”.
If you’re not expecting this resistance, I suppose it can throw you for a loop; the main battle I think is just going in knowing that you’re going to have to sleep with her on three separate occasions before she’s converted. Then it’s not surprising when it happens, and instead it’s just, “Ha! I was wondering when that was going to happen. This girl was faster than average.”
I have a few ways I deal with it, depending on the nature of the resistance. Here they are:
1: She’s Unsure About / Doesn’t Want to Meet Again
If it’s just light resistance to meeting up again, I’ll handle it like I did in the “
Buyer’s Remorse Turnaround” post.
2: She Comes Over, Resists Sex, But I Can Steamroll It
If she comes over but says she doesn’t want to have sex, I’ll say okay, no problem, but let’s get in bed, because it’s more comfortable. And then once we’re in bed I’ll say let’s take off our clothes – it’s more comfortable that way. And then I’ll tell her we don’t have to have sex, I just want to rest myself inside her – no thrusting and no sex. And then once my cock is in her I’ll ask her if it’s okay if I move it back and forth a little, but don’t worry, I won’t do it hard. And then once I’m thrusting lightly and she’s moaning I’ll ask her if she wants me to thrust a little harder or if that will violate the no-sex rule, and you know where it goes from there.
3: She Comes Over, Resists Sex, But I Can’t or Don’t Care to Steamroll It
If she comes over and is ADAMANT about not having sex, I will act like I’m just really super sad, like a little sad puppy dog, and say, “Really? Ah, man… well, I understand. Gosh, damn. I REALLY like you. This is sad. I like spending time with you so much. Well, all right… all right then. I guess it’s time for me to get back to work, and you probably have other things you need to do I know. But man, this sucks.”
And she’ll go, “You mean you’re kicking me out? Because I won’t have sex with you?”
And I’ll go, “Well, I mean, what else are we going to do?” still in the really tragic voice.
And she’ll say, “We could talk!”
And I’ll say, “I know, but you’re just so beautiful and I like you so much that if you’re here talking it can never be enough for me. It is torture. I don’t want to be tortured. And I don’t want to make you my torturer. You’re such a nice person, you don’t want that on your conscience, I would feel so bad for doing that to you.”
And she’ll say, “I won’t feel bad about it.”
And I’ll say, “I know, but I will. I couldn’t stand to be around you and not ravage your body for all you’re worth.”
And she’ll say, “Well, maybe we can just kiss.”
And I’ll say, still in a sweet/sad puppy dog-like voice, “Okay, but just for a little while, and then you’ll have to go after the kissing because I don’t want to break your rule.”
I actually would be fine with it if she did just leave after the kissing, because it’s no skin off my nose if she comes over, makes out with me for 10 minutes, and leaves, and then comes back two days later and we sleep together then. 10 minutes of making out and her leaving doesn’t inconvenience me too much, and my main concern is just not being inconvenienced. But anyway that’s never what happens… once we’re making out, that goes into feeling each other up, which goes into clothes flying off, and then some really passionate sex since she threw up hard resistance and it was masterfully (and romantically) overcome.
Chase
