Eternity's Journal

[Eternity]

Two fucks up today. First one, was at a pizza place getting some pizza and as I was ready to roll a sexy blonde with a blue outfit and fashionable sandals walked to her car next to me and lingered for a bit to get in. I stared at her from her slow walk over and I swear a small smile formed at the corners of her lips but I was to chicken to hit on her. Her blonde hair, smooth bare ankles and her pedicured feet gave me a hard on (I love nice feet on a girl, don't know why?). I love white girls. especially their sexy legs and their round asses some seem to have. Also, the color of their eyes (blue, grey, ect) draw me in and make me want to fuck them on the spot. But I don't think I would like a relationship or god forbid, marriage with them, there's too many cultural differences between us. I have no objections to make them fuck buddies or ONS though.

Looking back, I should've opened with:
-" Hey, quick question, [motioning her over to my window]"
-Comes over (compliance)
-(Her) "what/yeah"
-"Why do you look so cute today?" (sexy smile/voice)
- (good/bad response)
-"Just can't keep my eyes off you" as I look her up and down with my IDGAF vibe
- (good/bad response)
- Good- # close and heavier flirting/ Bad- "I'm a direct guy, I'm not afraid of telling a girl I dig her unlike so many guys" (smirk, wave and drive off)

I did half of this with a chick last week, she almost complied but stopped dead in her feet and said why? and that I should come over instead (shit test/frame control), and my mind went blank as to the reason she should come over. I thought about it and I will use the above next time I'm in my car and see hot girls walking around the area. (I'll admit it's nerve wrecking if you try this, I was nervous as fuck)

Second fuck up was with my bank teller (sorry Anatman, could not do it brother). She was there greeting customers I initiated banter (over the shoulder of course), she seemed pretty happy to see me and I asked about school, and if she's still going to be a nurse, just bantering in general. There's not much detail to this one because I'm going indirect here because i frequent the bank every week so I really don't want to make it awkward. Customers and big wigs were there checking the bank so i guess that's why she was extra friendly, I was about to leave and wanted to #close but my heart started racing, thoughts of her giving me a pity look as she said IHABF and having to see her every week with my status in the ground really made me nervous. Any other girl I wouldn't care but having to see her again does complicate things, this will have to get done though or I won't be at peace. My vibe was very relaxed, a bit cocky and funny and she also remembered some stuff about me, I sense at the very least some attraction just have to man up and face the music. What didn't help me was the flux of customers, public humiliation was a big reason I didn't try also. She's cute, a 7.5, green eyes, light skin, great ass and my gut instinct tells me g.f material but I'm sure if i got into a relationship I would cheat on her or whoever. I need to be creative and fast because her coworkers or boss might cockblock me.

That's it this week, will be reporting good or bad interactions in this journal. Will help me gather my thoughts and look for solutions also. Should've started sooner but better late than never.

EDIT: Possible ways to #close/instadate smoothly next time:

-" Since I don't see you much, let's stay in touch" (take phone out a give her a sexy smile)
- Write a note with: "Starbucks u+me?" (cheesy but might work because of her coworkers/boss [stealthy seduction])
- "How about we get Starbucks today? (straight up but would have to face the sting/humiliation of a rejection in front of people)
-" I want to keep talking to you, how about we hang out today? Get some starbucks after your shift" (sexy vibe, half smile, and a deep voice with a dominant stance)

I will think about this, hopefully I don't turn into a beta bitch boy and let it get to me if it goes wrong. Especially in front of the chick, been there and its a very shitty feeling.

 

[Eternity]

This chick at work is digging me, a 6.5. Unfortunately her b.f works there also thus I have to ignore her smiles and eye contact. According to a dude working there he's a G. who will probably stab me if I hit on her. Maybe he's exaggerating but probably not (Lot of ex gangsters work there). But the lure of an easy lay weighs heavily on mind, as I think about sticking my cock in her mouth and penetrating her every hole. Damn, it would be so easy to hit on her and just escalate to sex and take her to an hotel. Yesterday the supervisors called a meeting, she stood next to me trying to catch my eye and almost pressed her tits on my arm (not bad by the way). Got me hard as I thought of me pulling her hair while I spanked her naked ass from behind. She's resorting to this because of my aloofness, because I do not hit on her like almost every thirsty dude there or perhaps she's trying to have a lover on the side just for sex. Whatever the case it will be wise to ignore her charms and a easy sexual promise from her part. If her man was clueless and less dangerous that girl would not even know what hit her but because of who she's with I will remain distant and pass up the opportunity.

My job and avoiding trouble are the top priorities right now. Goes to show you that sometimes it's best to avoid eating from the forbidden tree as the consequences could be worse than you can imagine...

 

[Eternity]

Practiced indirect today! It was more practice than fun because it was on a married woman with a cute face, chunky body, and good legs. I would rate her a 5/6. I was pouring coffee at my local gas station and she stood next to me, also getting coffee. I was filling a big cup and opened over the shoulder, with a sly smirk "I need a big cup today".

She smiled and said: " Something to wake you up?"
Me: "Yep, need something to keep me awake"

She noticed a bee flying by where the cream was and mentioned it to me, keeping the conversation going. But it was time to eject since I did not want to flirt with her just practice indirect. One line openers have always worked best for me, I let my fundamentals do the talking, and use as little words as I can to open and deep dive. I let them impress me instead. Once you reach a certain stage, it's mostly in the facial expressions and body language that will impress and intrigue women. Your seductive words are just the cherry on top. I walked to the register and mentioned to management there was bee flying around. As I left I smiled at her seductively and said "See you". She smiled and said "Bye".

In retrospect, if I wanted to seduce her what I would've said when she mentioned the bee would be " If you get stung and are allergic I'm going to have to give you CPR", looking at her lips and smiling flirtatiously. Then I would ask for her name, deep dive fast, and number close or instadate if possible. But it I was practicing indirect and her husband was outside pumping gas, she wasn't on my cross-hairs. Decent day, but it could've been better.

P.S- A cute older cashier mentioned I looked like a party boy, I rarely go to parties. I wonder if I'm unconsciously exuding a bad boy vibe, or maybe I'm imagining what I want to see.

 

[Eternity]

Got my hair cut today, noticed the women were deep diving the men there to make them feel comfy, part of a family to get them to come back and more importantly: to leave tips. A man there responded with some boring responses to "how many kids do you have? Blah blah. Same bullshit questions met with some cliche answers. When it was my turn I flipped the script. A girl asked me the "How are you doing today?" I met her gaze and smiled sexily and said "Good, you?" Started talking about how busy it was and was probably following the usual schtick she usually engages boring men with. I decided to have fun and started asking her questions (deep diving). Got her spilling her life story to me, how she wasn't competitive in school, how she liked art and was in band class,(free spirits are usually easy to fuck) how she did in school blah blah blah. Now I was in the position to be the one who is either: a) bored or b) excited. This is the power of successfully mastering Chase's deep diving technique. I took it a step further, decided to do some technique I saw in a youtube video about Ross Jeffries NLP gambit about subtly saying words of whose meaning has sexual double innuendo to get her thinking about sex with you subconsciously (words like "It's been a long, hard day. I need to take a load off").

I decided to play a little game to comfort build and sexualize the conversation more. I asked what celebrity hair would she like to cut, her answer was Marky Marc, she admitted a crush on him. I responded with Megan Fox. How I would draw out her haircut to run my fingers through her beautiful hair as I yanked on it a bit lightly and hit on her shamelessly. She laughed and blushed lightly, her mind probably racing to getting fucked doggy style and having her hair yanked in the same manner. She kept going on how she would love to do Mark's hair, I asked her is that the only celebrity she would do (sexual double meaning here She said she would do Cameron Diaz also, cuz people say she looks like her (Not. Thirsty guys wanting to compliment her) I missed the chance to get her to say if she likes Cameron and if she would ever fuck another woman, whatevs. She dropped her fiance loves Marc also and both like him as an actor.

I slyly replied "Maybe he can join you when you do him next time" She blushed and giggled like a school girl thinking dirty thoughts outloud. I heard her say "Oh my god. Can't believe this" under her breath. I wanted her to to associate sex with me since I'm the only one talking to her about it and bringing it up. I think I succeed since her demeanor towards me was more genuine, happy, and I would say flirty. I tipped her 2 bucks as I left because she had provided practice and amusement to my seductive charms. I'm laying off the taken chicks for a while, I'm sick of meeting them everywhere I go. Oh well, I'll see what happens next time.

There you go gents, don't be the same boring dude responding to some boring ass questions, flip the script and try to sexually deep dive A.S.A.P. Your girl will become warmer, excited,and refreshed that she has found a sexually dominant man. It won't always work like it did in this example but it saves you time and effort in finding a DTF chick and not a "I'm looking for a b.f" chick instead...

 

[Eternity]

Got let go at work today cuz of some bullshit that went down. It's official I hate HR cunts. Useless, ugly, fat, and man hating bitches, especially the older ones. Only thing I would've done different would be to throw my punch in badge at the floor when she asked for it and tell her to "fetch" like the bitch she is. Oh well, I hope she goes down sometime in the future. Nothing to learn from this experience gents except work politics and HR cunts are just more shit holding you back at work.

 

[Eternity]

"G__ has transferred to another branch. She doesn't work here anymore", he replied in a soft, polite matter.

"Oh really? Yeah It's been a while and I just wanted to say hi to her, good to know", I replied with a stoic face but inside I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness thawing my icy heart as the words left his mouth.

A sense of guilt entrapped me also because in a moment of weakness and fear I had lost the chance to take a pretty cool girl out. I had build the connection throughout the times I had gone there, I was a regular thus I usually saw her working there. I used the aloof, cocky/funny game to draw her in and snap her out of autopilot, then I deep dived her and screened her and felt she was probably was g.f material. She was an 8, great ass, green eyes the works. During the last time I saw her I was going to ask her to kick it with me, but suddenly the fear of rejection and the people around us forced my devilish, cocky/funny mouth shut. I foolishly thought- "Nah, I'll do it next time, I got her all excited with my presence. Not a big deal". It would be the last time I'd see her. If had taken the chance and done things in the moment I would've had at least her number, at best her pussy riding my cock regularly. The reason I write this is not to lament like a lovesick beta about a chick I will never see again but to remind myself and any readers who bother to read this journal (you can comment if you like I don't bite) the importance of doing things in the moment, to leave the fear and laziness aside and have the courage to make a move or take action at least. I know at least one reader has built a connection with a hired gun (some chick that works at a place you frequent), likes her, has her all excited (like me) w/his presence but "feels" it's not the time to take action cuz you see her like every week...

No. Fuck that shit! Find out her schedule, ask her to kick it with you and if she declines go there when she ain't working. I don't want you guys to live some of my mistakes. I have bled for you once and will continue to do so, thus heed my words of advice and make shit happen. If news like this made my cold, empty heart beat, I can only imagine what others with a normal, warm heart will feel and do to his game. That's all gents. Tnx if you do read this journal.

 

[Eternity]

Got asked to go to a "Mormon" meeting or some shit by two chicks at the gas station today. Wrote the address, names, and a # down without me saying a word. They asked if I was going to go with a pleading look in their eyes. I said "maybe" and ejected from the conversation. I assume this is what neediness and over eagerness does to women, it just turns them off immediately. Felt weird trying to be picked up. Fundamentals are tight I guess...

 

[Eternity]

Every time I try to quit game/pickup something pulls me back in. A month ago, I was out in my city looking to just walk around and drink by myself at a bar... to use the experience for my writing, but as fate would have it when I walked in I saw a very attractive blonde working there. I barely acknowledged her wanting to drink in peace, ignoring her and the voice in my head to approach or even open her. But after a couple of minutes she was hovering in front of me, tempting me to game her. She was wearing little shorts that showed a pair of sexy legs and ass, literally right in front of me.

I gave in, I spat game, almost unconsciously. Was going well but she was married and I was too buzzed going for her digits towards the end, thus in my fucked up state I had no gameplan to counter this massive shit test from her. Sober, Im sure something would've popped in my head.

I wanted to go through the day without going through this process... this system. I wanted my mind clear of everything, to enter a zen like state but it wasn't possible.

Fast forward to yesterday, the same desire to quit, to forget everything I learned and just stop trying to game came to me. I was walking towards my bank and the cute clerk that works and who I try hard to ignore, remembered something about me that indicated a high level of interest (especially where many customers come and go). I gave in again, shooked her out of autopilot, rewarded her compliment with more interest and small compliments from my part. I was going through the motions again, thinking about what to do, how to do it, and a gameplan for next time and a counter play for her possible " I have a b.f" shit tests.

My mind is tired. I want my mind to be free from strategies, lines, concepts that work so well for me but drain my mind and numb the desire to game again but where I ultimately give in to the dark art of seduction. Seduction came at a price for me, I could never go back to where I was care free about the ways of women and the process of turning them on. I'm like an alcoholic who wants to quit and is tempted by that "just one more drink and ill call it quits". I can't go back even if I try.

 

[Eternity]

I'm going through a mini-oneitis episode these past few days. Girl at work I was starting to really like and who was attracted to me is probably fucking some other guy at work. I know this through rumors, vibes between them ect... It's funny how my calculated defenses were shattered by her "game". The whole process started similar to how my original oneitis played me in the beginning. The one who made me spiral into a deep depression and made me scratch my hair out in frustration as to what i did wrong. But she brought me into this community and thanks to that I saw the signs, I know what im going through and what i will feel. Also, i know the why and how of how i fucked up and that it will pass as I feel it slowly ebbing away with bouts of anger and disappointment at myself and her. I have to see her everyday at work so I will have to work on my zen and channel my resentment into energy I can use at work. At least I did not proclaim my attraction and desire for her like I did with my last oneitis and I dont feel needy or clingy around her. I can also stare at the guy she's fucking straight in the eye and not feel any anger towards him or resentment; something back in those days I could never do. My control over my emotions and frame are stronger than before.

It was bound to happen, if you don't move fast enough, someone will. The lessons are there to learn from and to be internalized. I know I'll probably get through it fast when I run game on other hotter girls. Still, the emotional buttons she pushed rocked my frame and fucked with my head.
This describes this girl to a T:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/09 ... s-part-2a/

They are my fucking weakness, coming from a family where love and affection was scarce, the feelings they give out and evoke in me are intoxicating, like a drug you need but have to stop taking because in the end you will end up in a mess. I'm going to be polite but dismissive towards her from now on, this set is blown, no point in being used for emotional highs and to trigger jealousy in me or the other guy she's fucking. He's getting something while i will get nothing.

 

[Eternity]

Notes on Autorejection:

-Lack of eye contact
-Curt, one word answers
-Bare minimum interactions
-Eyes dont light up when they see you or talk to you
-Less investment from her part than yours (chasing)
-She flirts with other men in the opposite manner from the above
- Extremely delayed or no texting you back
-Lack of feminine warmth and excitement than when she first met you (all business/ forced politeness)

 

[Eternity]

Was at the mall today. I could count the number of cuties I saw walking around in two hands. Everything else was mediocre to average. Land whales abounded along with faggety looking dudes. It's depressing to see this, nothing like beauties I see when I go to the city. Hired gun game is still decent from my part, had this cashier keeping our interaction going. She wanted me, I didn't want her. Her face was full of acne holes but body was decent. Saddened by this, I proceeded to avoid spiting game and left. Easy pull if I wanted to though. It's weird, years ago beauties walked the malls and worked in them. I was in awe, I don't know what happened to those golden years. They seemed to have been swallowed whole by the women of today. Hit my favorite bar next, said what's up to a buddy of mine who works there, we relived some of our high school moments and talked to who is quickly becoming my favorite bartenderess. A Lithuanian chick who's cute but is my buddy's roommate. I won't pursue, mainly cuz I like the vibe we have, no pressure all good conversation. Got a beer and a soda comped cuz of her. I love that, being treated well and feeling like I belong at the best bar in town.

 

[Eternity]

Been reading Pimp by Iceberg Slim (Robert Beck) and I have to say its a great book mashing up The Red Pill, Dark Triad, and Asshole game into one story. Though maxing all these concepts to the very max and exposing the raw core of women. It depicts what they secretly like and why they like it and put up with an extremely abusive environment. Basically, the protagonist is a natural who was exposed to a woman's dark sexual cravings at a young age but through fate and ambition yearns to get out of poverty and use his natural skills with women to become a pimp, but not just a good one but the very best. He seeks out the best in the business and learns the ways of pimping through him.

Reminds me a lot how guys look for mentors in seduction but this is on whole other level. Many core concepts of seduction are covered, such as holding frame, being great in bed, sending out mixed signals such as being cold as ice one minute then painting the bitch a fantasy. Approaching with zero A.A, selecting a target, applying fear and dread to keep her in line, walking away when she gives you shit, plowing through her Shit tests like a chainsaw through butter.

Damn, this book is dark triad and asshole game to the max and was written in the fifties. People think women weren't sluttying it up till now are mistaken... Book is based on the real life of Iceberg Slim so it's not fiction.

Will apply and learn the pimp mentality to my game.
Still reading it though, great book so far...

 

[Eternity]

Working some chick at work... Cute, green eyes, Latina. She ain't "G" from one of my journal entries but cute enough. Will see what happens.

 

[Eternity]

Deep dove my father. Was exactly like I predicted. Hints of cheating around while married. Vagueness but not admission... Started young, typical drinker, womanizer ect... If he was my age, had my youth... He would be unstoppable with shit like Facebook, texting, Tinder. Notch count of maybe in the hundreds if he was young in this brave new era.

 

[Eternity]

Hired gun game doesn't seem to excite me. Feels like a chore lately. I know what to say and how to say it but I'm too much in my own head, adrift from reality. Brooding over shit I cannot fix and cannot go back to in the past. Girls faces seem like a blur. I'm on autopilot when I talk to people, their words muted as dialogue from my mind interrupts and takes over. I see past the beauty, the desire, the facade they put up and I could care less what they say to me. I have no desire to approach, to fuck, to do anything but just work, drink, and survive another day. Whatevs, bitches at work are still around. I hope I have enough clarity and will to snap out of it and spit proper game. But like I said above, once they open their mouths and spit the same boring shit I space out, wanting to eject and escape from their dullness, their lack of humor and entitlement. No chick is a special snowflake, perhaps that's why lately I don't have the patience or excitement to hear the same old pitch...

 

[Eternity]

Tinder matches have been going up, props due to the new bio I wrote and came up with. But getting a response and keeping it going is my sticking point. I have yet to come up with a line that works for me to hook these hoes and get them talking. Have tried "beta" game, aloof game, asshole game. Hmm, perhaps a simple "you're sexy as fuck, let's meet up sometime..." will work. Will try on next match and report how it goes...

 

[Eternity]

Fumbled the pitch with a hired gun, seemed my mouth was glued and I could barely talk to anyone smh. Warming up before getting in state is key. Probably was the problem. Really need to find a mentor in game, only way to learn even more.

 

[Eternity]

Lately the failures in both life and pickup have been stacking up, leaving me more jaded and weary than usual. IDK why. I think I'm haunted by the passing of time, how my youth slips away year by year never for it to return. Time and luck are cruel mistresses. More stone cold than the greediest gold digger out there.

 

[Eternity]

Got my Professional Tinder pics done today. Im excited to get them ASAP and try them out. Was shooting pics at a bar and got opened by some cute chick there. Drank , deep dived and mustered a Facebook close. Weak shit but her coworkers were there watching but interest seemed there. Will see what happens...

 

[Eternity]

Giving up on Tinder, even with a pro pic, bots or no matches. Not hot enough I guess... Shit, fuck it.