- Joined
- Nov 20, 2012
- Messages
- 6,553
Hi Guys,
This is complacent, IT isn't exactly a dating advice nor it is a totally psychology point of view but here's what i learn.
I note that in order to have long lasting friendships, you need this things too, that is Deliberate differences and the Expansion Paradox.
Given conversations where things are stagnant after long lasting friendships, it is important to develop things differently, spice things up and change things abit from time to time to create the relationship afresh. Another example would be a teacher and student relationship example. After a student reaches a level, he definitely thinks he is better than the teacher, and this happens with parents and children too.
So what does one actually do? Apply Deliberate Differences and the Expansion Paradox
Following the example of the student, he founds an experience and wants the teacher to confirm. The teacher instead, chose to apply Expansion Paradox, explaining his side of the story, his knowledge, thus the student always learning. This can happen where the student challenges the teacher with his experiences and the teacher shows him his experience, thus it's a counter back and forth.
This works in Sales, human relationships and it's amazing how most people never talk about it, but if you observe the closest relationships any two people have, they have this.
You must have wonder what's the downside of this right? Too much of this and Women/Student/Anybody whom you interact will start throwing bombs at you
Following the example of the student, let's say me and Chase. IF Chase notes his experience and tells how this and that without confirming, and the key word here is confirming, i will be totally thrown off afterawhile because it makes as if Chase didn't understand me. The thing is Chase wants me to learn, but i want him to know, i want to tell him where am i and acknowledge me. Not thank you or anything, just the sort of "i see that".
This happens with Parents and their children everywhere, even teachers!
So i guess it's important to note down your loved ones, where they at and just acknowledge them for who they are. No need for appraisement. The next time when they bring up where they going, You start applying the tactic again or rather you be the teacher or influencer as you always done, only because you know what's good (or otherwise just be quiet and let yourself free out of trouble)
Zac
This is complacent, IT isn't exactly a dating advice nor it is a totally psychology point of view but here's what i learn.
I note that in order to have long lasting friendships, you need this things too, that is Deliberate differences and the Expansion Paradox.
Given conversations where things are stagnant after long lasting friendships, it is important to develop things differently, spice things up and change things abit from time to time to create the relationship afresh. Another example would be a teacher and student relationship example. After a student reaches a level, he definitely thinks he is better than the teacher, and this happens with parents and children too.
So what does one actually do? Apply Deliberate Differences and the Expansion Paradox
Following the example of the student, he founds an experience and wants the teacher to confirm. The teacher instead, chose to apply Expansion Paradox, explaining his side of the story, his knowledge, thus the student always learning. This can happen where the student challenges the teacher with his experiences and the teacher shows him his experience, thus it's a counter back and forth.
This works in Sales, human relationships and it's amazing how most people never talk about it, but if you observe the closest relationships any two people have, they have this.
You must have wonder what's the downside of this right? Too much of this and Women/Student/Anybody whom you interact will start throwing bombs at you
Following the example of the student, let's say me and Chase. IF Chase notes his experience and tells how this and that without confirming, and the key word here is confirming, i will be totally thrown off afterawhile because it makes as if Chase didn't understand me. The thing is Chase wants me to learn, but i want him to know, i want to tell him where am i and acknowledge me. Not thank you or anything, just the sort of "i see that".
This happens with Parents and their children everywhere, even teachers!
So i guess it's important to note down your loved ones, where they at and just acknowledge them for who they are. No need for appraisement. The next time when they bring up where they going, You start applying the tactic again or rather you be the teacher or influencer as you always done, only because you know what's good (or otherwise just be quiet and let yourself free out of trouble)
Zac