- Joined
- Nov 30, 2019
- Messages
- 35
January 22nd, 2024
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
It’s a warm but cloudy evening, the sun beginning to set. I’m walking on the boardwalk of Ipanema beach, and in the distance I notice a girl, early 20s, walking towards me. She’s wearing short jean shorts and a white spaghetti top.
I stop on the edge of the boardwalk and look out at the ocean, waiting for her to pass behind me. When she passes, I wait about 10 seconds and then gradually catch up to her. From behind, I see that she fills out her shorts nicely, making me wonder what’s underneath. And as I pass by her, I notice that she’s “girl next door” cute, so I open her over my shoulder.
When I open, she doesn’t understand me because she speaks only Portuguese. I ask if she understands Spanish, which overlaps with Portuguese, and she says “mais ou menos,” more or less.
In this first minute, I’m giving her strong eye contact with a small, friendly smile. She returns the steady eye contact… and, somehow, it feels almost as if I'm beginning to associate in her mind as a potential lover.
She tells me that she’s from another city in Brazil and that it’s her first time visiting Rio. Like me, she’s visiting solo. She landed last night, and she’ll be staying for another couple of days.
As we approach a fork in the boardwalk, I suggest that we sit down somewhere. She says sure, so we find a spot on the edge of the boardwalk and sit side-by-side, overlooking the ocean.
The convo is light, casual. We talk about where we’d travel if we could go anywhere in the world, our favorite TV shows, and what dating is like in Brazil. But the language barrier is significant, and with effort we understand only about 50% of each other.
In the first few minutes of us sitting down, I see brief sparkles of attraction in her eyes, but they disappear almost as soon as I notice them. And as we continue talking, I no longer see them. It also feels like I’m doing the legwork to keep the convo going: she’s friendly, but she responds with brief answers and doesn’t ask me much back. She doesn’t seem invested in the convo, much less immersed.
After about 20 minutes of this, I feel like the interaction probably isn’t going anywhere. It also feels that sitting here and talking isn’t helping the seduction. So I decide to go for a bounce: the compliance test will give me feedback about how she actually feels, and it’ll at least make things more dynamic. I ask her if she wants to walk along the shore for a bit, and she says sure. I’m a little surprised that she says yes, but it’s also not a huge compliance.
We walk down from the boardwalk to the beach, and we stroll along the edge of the ocean, dipping our feet in the water. The same dynamic continues, with me keeping the conversation going – mixing observations with questions – so that we’re not walking in silence. Her lack of talkativeness doesn’t seem to come from any sort of shyness or awkwardness, either – she seems perfectly confident. She just seems disinterested, more in her own world.
We walk like this for about 10 minutes before reaching the end of Ipanema. At this point, I’d typically try to bounce to another spot, but it doesn’t feel right in this situation – there’s no conversation or vibe between us to justify it. Instead, I tell her that I’ll walk with her towards the Copacabana neighborhood, since that’s where we’re both staying and where she was initially headed when we met. The underlying message is that we’ll be going our separate ways, soon.
As we’re walking, she comments how it’s funny that she’s walking in this new city with someone she just met. She shows me some messages on her phone, saying that her cousin has been asking about her and that she’s sharing her location. She says all of this lightheartedly, but obviously it reflects some safety concern. And it makes sense: she’s traveling alone in Rio, which doesn’t have a safe reputation, and now she’s following a man she doesn’t know.
Around this point, we pass a little playground. On previous dates, I’ve found that randomly stumbling upon playgrounds (especially ones with swingsets) is great for adding fun and building kino. So as we’re passing it, I playfully tell her that she should go on the swing. She gives a firm no. I can’t help but laugh to myself internally – her not playing along pretty much sums up the dynamic so far.
After a few more minutes, we begin to approach a bikeshare station. I tell her that she can easily bike back home from here, or she can continue walking down the boardwalk to get to her AirBnB. She thanks me and says that she’ll just walk back, then puts out her hand to shake mine. We say our goodbyes, and she starts to turn away.
Based on all of the signs, she wants to go separate ways. But I know that compliance tells the ultimate truth, and the only way to know for sure is by going for it. Plus, I’ve trained myself to always put the option of escalation on the table. It’s my job as a man, and, “win or lose,” it’s a win because I’ve done everything in my power to keep the interaction going.
So, as she’s turning away, I tell her that I’m about to get some açaí dessert, and I invite her to join.
She shrugs and says sure, to my surprise.
Her compliance despite her seeming disinterest makes this unlike any seduction I’ve experienced. Maybe she’s just bored and has nothing better to do, I think to myself as I try to make sense of it.
The açaí spot is only a few blocks away. As we’re walking there, I notice that she has a few goosebumps, and I get a little kino going as I point them out. She says that she feels chilly. It’s warm outside to me, but Brazilians are a different breed.
Also at this point, the safety concern she had expressed earlier is in the back of my mind. To acknowledge it, I jokingly tell her that I promise not to kidnap her as long as she promises not to kidnap me. We pinky promise on it.
When we get to the açaí place, there’s a line of four people in front of us and only one person working. After a couple minutes, the line hasn’t moved at all. We’re standing there in silence – at this point, I’ve basically given up on trying to make small talk – and there’s no way this awkwardness will survive another 10 minutes of us waiting. So I ask her if she’s down to get ice cream instead, and she says sure.
The ice cream spot is right around the corner, and there’s no line there. As we wait for our cups of ice cream, something interesting happens. We’re standing close together as we talk about ice cream flavors, and – for the first time since we initially sat down – there are sexual sparks between us. The vibe is brief, but it’s there. And when the ice cream comes, the girl insists on paying.
We sit down at a table, sitting across from each other. The sexual vibe vanishes, and, once again, it feels like I’m pulling teeth. I ask her about her love languages, and she gives a one or two sentence response about it being quality time. We talk a bit about our families, and I tell her about what it’s like to live in New York. Nothing powerful verbally, but it’s hard to get any sort of conversational foothold with her because nothing seems to be hitting at all. We keep eating our ice cream, largely in silence. The whole thing feels awkward, but internally I’m amused by the oddness of the situation and because I feel like there’s nothing else I can do – I’ve tried my best.
I finish up my ice cream, but she still has some left. Before she finishes, though, she says “Vamos?”, which means “Let’s go?” Usually not a great sign when a girl initiates the bounce from a spot, but I’ve already accepted that this seduction isn’t going anywhere.
We head out and begin walking in the direction of Copacabana again. I teasingly accuse her of being a CIA agent because she’s clearly a “mujer de muchas palabras,” a woman of many words. She laughs and cryptically says, “Well, what is there to talk about?”
At this point, we’ve been together for about 90 minutes, max. There’s no point in trying to bounce her to another spot because sitting and talking feels more painful than helpful. The only move left at this point is to go for the pull.
Based on the lack of IOIs – in addition to the safety concern that she had expressed – I’m almost positive that she’ll say no. In terms of the Three Keys, there’s some sexual arousal that I’ve seen glimpses of, but it's noncommittal. As far as emotional stimulation, there seems to be almost none. I usually find it harder to know where I’m at with the social frame – it can’t be seen like sexual and emotional stimulation can – but one sign is how much a girl is investing in the conversation. Here, that’s almost nothing. The only positive indicators of social frame are her repeated compliances and the time we’ve spent together.
Despite the low odds, I have to go for it.
So, as we begin to pass the bikeshare station again, I throw a Hail Mary that’d make Aaron Rodgers himself proud:
“I think I’m gonna head back to my place… but I’m only 10 minutes from here and have a good bottle of wine, if you wanna listen to some music and chill some more.”
She nods and says sure.
I can barely believe it. Part of me even thinks that she might’ve misunderstood me due to the language barrier.
We walk along the boardwalk in the direction of my apartment and keep some small talk going. We eventually reach the point in the boardwalk where we need to cross the street to go deeper into the Copacabana neighborhood, where my apartment is. As we’re crossing the street, she asks me where we’re going for the drink – apparently she didn’t understand me the first time. So I tell her again that I have wine at my apartment. She says okay.
After about 10 minutes, we get to my apartment building. I wonder whether she’ll actually go inside – I’m still in some disbelief – but she follows me inside without any issue.
When we walk inside my apartment, I offer her beer or wine, and she takes the beer. We sit on the couch, and I put Masego's music videos on my laptop in front of us. The girl sits about an arm’s length away, a friendly distance.
My plan is to take things slow based on the vibe and because the pull has been relatively quick. The fact that we’re alone together helps the sexual key, which I’ll let my subcommunication deepen. In the meantime, I want to make her comfortable by taking things slow while at least trying to stimulate her.
After the first Masego song, I tell her that I want to hear some of the Brazilian music that she likes. She puts on a recorded live performance by an artist named Armandinho. It’s relaxed, good-vibe music that’s surprisingly good.
We start talking about live music, and I tell her about my experience listening to live jazz in NYC (an emotional stimulator that I describe in my Leopard Leggings report). She’s fixated on me as I tell her the story, more so than at any point in our convo so far. Around this time, I also notice that her body language begins to open up as she turns her body to face mine.
We keep talking while watching the music videos, and, for the first time since standing at the ice cream spot, there’s a sexual energy between us again. And for the first time that day, I begin to get into a sexual state as I begin to realize that I’ll probably fuck this girl.
After about 20 minutes, I go to put my arm around her, and she moves in slightly closer towards me – but not by much. Still, it’s a good sign because it’s the first time that I’ve made my sexual intent overt, and she’s going along with it.
I keep casually talking to fractionate from the physical escalation and to continue building comfort.
After about 15 more minutes of this, I once again feel like the conversation – which continues to have fits and starts – isn’t helping anything. And once again, I feel like the only option left is to escalate and see what happens. Even though the vibe doesn’t seem quite right for it, I remind myself that this is exactly how I felt the last two times that I successfully escalated with this girl. So I take the leap and go for it: after a moment of us looking at each other, I lift her chin with my finger, and gently pull her in for a kiss.
A small smile lights up her face… then she leans in, and we make out. I tease her with the kissing, pulling away first.
We go back to watching the music videos and talking. At this point, I know that it’s on: she’s turned on, comfortable, and going along with each of the escalations. From here, I know it’s just a matter of rinse and repeat, gradually escalating in between periods of fluff talk so as not to escalate too quickly and trigger ASD.
Eventually, we start making out again, and things get hot and heavy. I kiss her by her ears, her neck, her shoulders… and gradually work my way down to her breasts. She pulls back a little at this point and says that she has sand in her bikini top (which she was wearing as a bra) because she had been in the ocean earlier. She pulls down her top and starts brushing away the sand from around her nipples. I start to kiss them, then palm her breasts and lightly squeeze her nipples. Her arms fill with goosebumps for the second time that day.
Things continue like this… fractionating between increasing escalation and light, playful talk… until I find myself kissing her stomach, working my way down to her waistline. She gives me a look at this point and says something about taking a shower. So I stand up, take her hand, and walk her to my bathroom. We take off our clothes, hop in the shower, and keep making out.
Once we’re clean, we hop out and I lead her to my bed, both of us still naked. I get on top of her as we’re kissing. And as we get closer and closer to the magic moment, she finally, finally starts to make more conversation:
“Wait, before we do this... what’s your name?”
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
It’s a warm but cloudy evening, the sun beginning to set. I’m walking on the boardwalk of Ipanema beach, and in the distance I notice a girl, early 20s, walking towards me. She’s wearing short jean shorts and a white spaghetti top.
I stop on the edge of the boardwalk and look out at the ocean, waiting for her to pass behind me. When she passes, I wait about 10 seconds and then gradually catch up to her. From behind, I see that she fills out her shorts nicely, making me wonder what’s underneath. And as I pass by her, I notice that she’s “girl next door” cute, so I open her over my shoulder.
When I open, she doesn’t understand me because she speaks only Portuguese. I ask if she understands Spanish, which overlaps with Portuguese, and she says “mais ou menos,” more or less.
In this first minute, I’m giving her strong eye contact with a small, friendly smile. She returns the steady eye contact… and, somehow, it feels almost as if I'm beginning to associate in her mind as a potential lover.
She tells me that she’s from another city in Brazil and that it’s her first time visiting Rio. Like me, she’s visiting solo. She landed last night, and she’ll be staying for another couple of days.
As we approach a fork in the boardwalk, I suggest that we sit down somewhere. She says sure, so we find a spot on the edge of the boardwalk and sit side-by-side, overlooking the ocean.
The convo is light, casual. We talk about where we’d travel if we could go anywhere in the world, our favorite TV shows, and what dating is like in Brazil. But the language barrier is significant, and with effort we understand only about 50% of each other.
In the first few minutes of us sitting down, I see brief sparkles of attraction in her eyes, but they disappear almost as soon as I notice them. And as we continue talking, I no longer see them. It also feels like I’m doing the legwork to keep the convo going: she’s friendly, but she responds with brief answers and doesn’t ask me much back. She doesn’t seem invested in the convo, much less immersed.
After about 20 minutes of this, I feel like the interaction probably isn’t going anywhere. It also feels that sitting here and talking isn’t helping the seduction. So I decide to go for a bounce: the compliance test will give me feedback about how she actually feels, and it’ll at least make things more dynamic. I ask her if she wants to walk along the shore for a bit, and she says sure. I’m a little surprised that she says yes, but it’s also not a huge compliance.
We walk down from the boardwalk to the beach, and we stroll along the edge of the ocean, dipping our feet in the water. The same dynamic continues, with me keeping the conversation going – mixing observations with questions – so that we’re not walking in silence. Her lack of talkativeness doesn’t seem to come from any sort of shyness or awkwardness, either – she seems perfectly confident. She just seems disinterested, more in her own world.
We walk like this for about 10 minutes before reaching the end of Ipanema. At this point, I’d typically try to bounce to another spot, but it doesn’t feel right in this situation – there’s no conversation or vibe between us to justify it. Instead, I tell her that I’ll walk with her towards the Copacabana neighborhood, since that’s where we’re both staying and where she was initially headed when we met. The underlying message is that we’ll be going our separate ways, soon.
As we’re walking, she comments how it’s funny that she’s walking in this new city with someone she just met. She shows me some messages on her phone, saying that her cousin has been asking about her and that she’s sharing her location. She says all of this lightheartedly, but obviously it reflects some safety concern. And it makes sense: she’s traveling alone in Rio, which doesn’t have a safe reputation, and now she’s following a man she doesn’t know.
Around this point, we pass a little playground. On previous dates, I’ve found that randomly stumbling upon playgrounds (especially ones with swingsets) is great for adding fun and building kino. So as we’re passing it, I playfully tell her that she should go on the swing. She gives a firm no. I can’t help but laugh to myself internally – her not playing along pretty much sums up the dynamic so far.
After a few more minutes, we begin to approach a bikeshare station. I tell her that she can easily bike back home from here, or she can continue walking down the boardwalk to get to her AirBnB. She thanks me and says that she’ll just walk back, then puts out her hand to shake mine. We say our goodbyes, and she starts to turn away.
Based on all of the signs, she wants to go separate ways. But I know that compliance tells the ultimate truth, and the only way to know for sure is by going for it. Plus, I’ve trained myself to always put the option of escalation on the table. It’s my job as a man, and, “win or lose,” it’s a win because I’ve done everything in my power to keep the interaction going.
So, as she’s turning away, I tell her that I’m about to get some açaí dessert, and I invite her to join.
She shrugs and says sure, to my surprise.
Her compliance despite her seeming disinterest makes this unlike any seduction I’ve experienced. Maybe she’s just bored and has nothing better to do, I think to myself as I try to make sense of it.
The açaí spot is only a few blocks away. As we’re walking there, I notice that she has a few goosebumps, and I get a little kino going as I point them out. She says that she feels chilly. It’s warm outside to me, but Brazilians are a different breed.
Also at this point, the safety concern she had expressed earlier is in the back of my mind. To acknowledge it, I jokingly tell her that I promise not to kidnap her as long as she promises not to kidnap me. We pinky promise on it.
When we get to the açaí place, there’s a line of four people in front of us and only one person working. After a couple minutes, the line hasn’t moved at all. We’re standing there in silence – at this point, I’ve basically given up on trying to make small talk – and there’s no way this awkwardness will survive another 10 minutes of us waiting. So I ask her if she’s down to get ice cream instead, and she says sure.
The ice cream spot is right around the corner, and there’s no line there. As we wait for our cups of ice cream, something interesting happens. We’re standing close together as we talk about ice cream flavors, and – for the first time since we initially sat down – there are sexual sparks between us. The vibe is brief, but it’s there. And when the ice cream comes, the girl insists on paying.
We sit down at a table, sitting across from each other. The sexual vibe vanishes, and, once again, it feels like I’m pulling teeth. I ask her about her love languages, and she gives a one or two sentence response about it being quality time. We talk a bit about our families, and I tell her about what it’s like to live in New York. Nothing powerful verbally, but it’s hard to get any sort of conversational foothold with her because nothing seems to be hitting at all. We keep eating our ice cream, largely in silence. The whole thing feels awkward, but internally I’m amused by the oddness of the situation and because I feel like there’s nothing else I can do – I’ve tried my best.
I finish up my ice cream, but she still has some left. Before she finishes, though, she says “Vamos?”, which means “Let’s go?” Usually not a great sign when a girl initiates the bounce from a spot, but I’ve already accepted that this seduction isn’t going anywhere.
We head out and begin walking in the direction of Copacabana again. I teasingly accuse her of being a CIA agent because she’s clearly a “mujer de muchas palabras,” a woman of many words. She laughs and cryptically says, “Well, what is there to talk about?”
At this point, we’ve been together for about 90 minutes, max. There’s no point in trying to bounce her to another spot because sitting and talking feels more painful than helpful. The only move left at this point is to go for the pull.
Based on the lack of IOIs – in addition to the safety concern that she had expressed – I’m almost positive that she’ll say no. In terms of the Three Keys, there’s some sexual arousal that I’ve seen glimpses of, but it's noncommittal. As far as emotional stimulation, there seems to be almost none. I usually find it harder to know where I’m at with the social frame – it can’t be seen like sexual and emotional stimulation can – but one sign is how much a girl is investing in the conversation. Here, that’s almost nothing. The only positive indicators of social frame are her repeated compliances and the time we’ve spent together.
Despite the low odds, I have to go for it.
So, as we begin to pass the bikeshare station again, I throw a Hail Mary that’d make Aaron Rodgers himself proud:
“I think I’m gonna head back to my place… but I’m only 10 minutes from here and have a good bottle of wine, if you wanna listen to some music and chill some more.”
She nods and says sure.
I can barely believe it. Part of me even thinks that she might’ve misunderstood me due to the language barrier.
We walk along the boardwalk in the direction of my apartment and keep some small talk going. We eventually reach the point in the boardwalk where we need to cross the street to go deeper into the Copacabana neighborhood, where my apartment is. As we’re crossing the street, she asks me where we’re going for the drink – apparently she didn’t understand me the first time. So I tell her again that I have wine at my apartment. She says okay.
After about 10 minutes, we get to my apartment building. I wonder whether she’ll actually go inside – I’m still in some disbelief – but she follows me inside without any issue.
When we walk inside my apartment, I offer her beer or wine, and she takes the beer. We sit on the couch, and I put Masego's music videos on my laptop in front of us. The girl sits about an arm’s length away, a friendly distance.
My plan is to take things slow based on the vibe and because the pull has been relatively quick. The fact that we’re alone together helps the sexual key, which I’ll let my subcommunication deepen. In the meantime, I want to make her comfortable by taking things slow while at least trying to stimulate her.
After the first Masego song, I tell her that I want to hear some of the Brazilian music that she likes. She puts on a recorded live performance by an artist named Armandinho. It’s relaxed, good-vibe music that’s surprisingly good.
We start talking about live music, and I tell her about my experience listening to live jazz in NYC (an emotional stimulator that I describe in my Leopard Leggings report). She’s fixated on me as I tell her the story, more so than at any point in our convo so far. Around this time, I also notice that her body language begins to open up as she turns her body to face mine.
We keep talking while watching the music videos, and, for the first time since standing at the ice cream spot, there’s a sexual energy between us again. And for the first time that day, I begin to get into a sexual state as I begin to realize that I’ll probably fuck this girl.
After about 20 minutes, I go to put my arm around her, and she moves in slightly closer towards me – but not by much. Still, it’s a good sign because it’s the first time that I’ve made my sexual intent overt, and she’s going along with it.
I keep casually talking to fractionate from the physical escalation and to continue building comfort.
After about 15 more minutes of this, I once again feel like the conversation – which continues to have fits and starts – isn’t helping anything. And once again, I feel like the only option left is to escalate and see what happens. Even though the vibe doesn’t seem quite right for it, I remind myself that this is exactly how I felt the last two times that I successfully escalated with this girl. So I take the leap and go for it: after a moment of us looking at each other, I lift her chin with my finger, and gently pull her in for a kiss.
A small smile lights up her face… then she leans in, and we make out. I tease her with the kissing, pulling away first.
We go back to watching the music videos and talking. At this point, I know that it’s on: she’s turned on, comfortable, and going along with each of the escalations. From here, I know it’s just a matter of rinse and repeat, gradually escalating in between periods of fluff talk so as not to escalate too quickly and trigger ASD.
Eventually, we start making out again, and things get hot and heavy. I kiss her by her ears, her neck, her shoulders… and gradually work my way down to her breasts. She pulls back a little at this point and says that she has sand in her bikini top (which she was wearing as a bra) because she had been in the ocean earlier. She pulls down her top and starts brushing away the sand from around her nipples. I start to kiss them, then palm her breasts and lightly squeeze her nipples. Her arms fill with goosebumps for the second time that day.
Things continue like this… fractionating between increasing escalation and light, playful talk… until I find myself kissing her stomach, working my way down to her waistline. She gives me a look at this point and says something about taking a shower. So I stand up, take her hand, and walk her to my bathroom. We take off our clothes, hop in the shower, and keep making out.
Once we’re clean, we hop out and I lead her to my bed, both of us still naked. I get on top of her as we’re kissing. And as we get closer and closer to the magic moment, she finally, finally starts to make more conversation:
“Wait, before we do this... what’s your name?”
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