JADE(Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) are the common go to responses of most people when anybody blames, criticizes, find faults them, although this is a very low level response most people resort to it simply because it is convenient and easy to do. Using JADE simply means you are reacting to their frame, you are trying to convince them that you are right...you have ceded the frame to them.
Her: how could you say that joke..it wasn't funny ( girl telling guy that)
Guy: I thought that was pretty funny. (Although this is a good reply he is still reacting to her frame by trying to justify or a better response, look at her in the eye and simply shrug your shoulder)
Guy1: Federer is the best tennis player in the world( Not wrong, it's his opinion)
Guy 2: No dude I'm pretty sure it's Djokovic (again an opinion)
With arguments involving opinions, frankly best to steer clear of them but with arguments involving hard facts let the other person know they are wrong while allowing them to save face.
Girl: You said you would be here by 2:00 pm.( What she says is true, if you ignore her, you come off looking like a dick)
Guy: I know what I said, then the situation changed and held me up( Trying to defend and justify why he is right in what he did, better response accept responsibility by saying I'm sorry for being late..be careful, this response loses its potency every time you use it)
Boss: How could you fuck up this simple thing?
Guy: I'm new to this and am still figuring out the ropes (valid excuse, better response may have been I'm new to this and maybe next time you can show how to do it......excuse + taking responsibility)
what do you guys think?
How would you people respond, so that you are not using JADE and do you have more examples??
Her: how could you say that joke..it wasn't funny ( girl telling guy that)
Guy: I thought that was pretty funny. (Although this is a good reply he is still reacting to her frame by trying to justify or a better response, look at her in the eye and simply shrug your shoulder)
Guy1: Federer is the best tennis player in the world( Not wrong, it's his opinion)
Guy 2: No dude I'm pretty sure it's Djokovic (again an opinion)
With arguments involving opinions, frankly best to steer clear of them but with arguments involving hard facts let the other person know they are wrong while allowing them to save face.
Girl: You said you would be here by 2:00 pm.( What she says is true, if you ignore her, you come off looking like a dick)
Guy: I know what I said, then the situation changed and held me up( Trying to defend and justify why he is right in what he did, better response accept responsibility by saying I'm sorry for being late..be careful, this response loses its potency every time you use it)
Boss: How could you fuck up this simple thing?
Guy: I'm new to this and am still figuring out the ropes (valid excuse, better response may have been I'm new to this and maybe next time you can show how to do it......excuse + taking responsibility)
what do you guys think?
How would you people respond, so that you are not using JADE and do you have more examples??