What a year... this has probably been the year where I have learned the most in many ways. Let's break it down to different parts, and conclude it with goals for 2020!
Studies/work
6 months until I graduate. Just wow. Can't believe I'm typing this. It's been a long journey and overdue. But I feel that it has been necessary. I could have been out on the work force now and not being ready for it.
Every job I applied, I got. Currently I'm part of two researches, and I am leading my own projects in one of them. Then I'm also working two other jobs relevant to my studies + my job as a instructor. I'm enjoying every minute of it. Part time jobs rock when you can do so much different and prepare for some of the same things post-graduation. In one of my jobs, I have this awesome supervisor that I really look up to. Can't remember when I had someone like that the last time.
I had to quit another job though because there was no more time I could put into it. I just realize how absurd it is to write this out since basically, I'm doing things that are rare for the average person. I'm proud I got this far.
Also, I have never saved up this much money. People might say money is the root of all evil, but when you do have it, you don't complain. It gives you opportunities and another kind of freedom. And if you know how to not overspend, it's like you own a kingdom. I regret not caring a bit more about money sooner.
Health
This has been a mixed bag because of my second knee surgery some years ago. I can't do my own martial art properly anymore unless I slow down the speed of my kicks. Not once, but TWICE I had the same muscle fiber torn last year, and I didn't dare get back for good. Slowly I'm letting go more of my martial art as a trainee until I can manage it again. Would be awesome to add some more black belt degrees to my name.
I have been wanting to go more to the gym, but I have always wandered around aimlessly doing exercises without an overall purpose. I decided last month to get some inspiration by Masculine Development and purchased his e-book Body of an Alpha. So my goal was at this point to be healthy and look sexy at the same time. I love Jon's book and I would recommend it to anyone dedicated to get a sexy body. However, after two weeks I realized that I'm not getting things done because of 1) my diet and 2) the time I have available for working out. My muscles were so sore for days and wouldn't recover despite stretching out and drinking water like crazy. I needed to do things differently.
I found another routine on his site only consisting of compound exercises. With this routine, I can hit the gym less, and the routine itself can be done in 30 minutes or so per session. Now I'm combining that routine with another routine for abs. This seems much much more manageable for now, both in time and the number of exercises. Now I'm just three weeks into the compound routine, and I finished my second abs day yesterday.
Regarding my diet, I began tracking my calories and nutrition since yesterday. To my surprise, I eat less calories than recommended. But not surprisingly, I don't eat much protein. I also woke up late these days and ate only two meals because of a late shift and went out the day after. Let's see on days with three meals.
Another thing regarding health: I tried some of the recommendations in the Body-Oriented Therapy post by Carousel like TRE. I tried TRE once, and damn, I gotta say it removed a lot of the tension inside my abdomen! But doing this alone and imagining what it looks like to have a seizure, I'm not sure I like that picture
Social life
I have been hanging out with friends more than ever, also new friends. Mostly it's one on one. I have played a lot of pool haha! I'm usually meeting people from my studies or my sport. I don't think I want to change this right now.
Since beginning my other journal about improving my social skills, I can see that, just like with my health, I have lacked a goal. I think that my only goal in this regard is to be the cool guy. This is usually about everyday settings like work, school, family etc. But it doesn't hurt to be cool to strangers and friends too lol.
I have been to the city in the nighttime with a friend since Summer. I'll post an FR soon about our last outing.
One of my other friends - a former colleague - invited me to his birthday, and I got to meet his current colleagues (all male) and fiance. I felt like his girl was giving me the cold shoulder. I realized she might just have been shy herself despite being the kind of girl that looked confident on the outside. I decided to keep it chill. My ex texted me during the night, and I used that as a way to open her one on one. That got the conversation started. I felt like the night ended pretty well before I had to go to another friend's housewarming.
But my friend contacted me a couple of days later and asked me what the hell I was thinking and such, talking to his girl about a sensitive topic. The short story is that something unfortunate had happened between them a long time ago which I only I knew about besides them. And during my conversation with his girl, I happened to talk about something related to that unfortunate event, and apparently she couldn't help but associate. I apologized and explained myself since he's one of my best friends. He accepted the apology, and everything seemed good. But we haven't been talking since (this was two months ago), and I will reach out to him in the holidays.
I learned the hard way not to violate trust like this. He was trusting their secret to me, and lacking attention for just a single moment led to this. My first thought was that they overreacted. And I just hope he told her that it must have been a misunderstanding because he knows me better than her. Yet again, if he cares about it, he cares about it. I hope she doesn't make him too blind in the future.
Girls
I had an epic year with my ex. But we broke up as already stated in a previous post. We slept two or three times after the breakup. Eventually she crossed some lines, and instead of ignoring her, I tried to make things verbal - bad move. Now we don't talk anymore. We really tried to make things work out post breakup, but I don't know. I have moved on. Now it's all about observations. And there is only one observation to mention: We saw each other last week with our social circle and didn't speak one word to each other.
I'm still sleeping with the FWB once in a while. I just got a boner thinking about her...
Then I tried to seduce a girl at a friend's housewarming, I wrote about this some posts ago. My friend slept with her instead xD He didn't know I tried to pull her until he and I met the next time haha!
And like I said, I'll post an FR soon regarding my last outing. It was great to see how things are going on a baseline level.
Anything else
Hopefully, I will move out in 2020. I know some apartments with cheap rent, and they come with more benefits than just the cheap rent. Close to the beach, easy logistics for pretty much anything, close to some dorms and the gym. And even the girls look better and more stylish on average than the ones close to my current place. I couldn't ask for more! All I have to do is cross my fingers and hope that my first work place post-graduation will be close - which is somewhat out of my hands though. Otherwise I will have to move faaar away. This might also be okay, being completely anonymous in a new city and all that
I'm still working on my fashion. There are still things to work on in order to catch the attention of the women. I will use more colors since black and white don't really work that great for me + it's too mainstream here.
Fun fact: a friend told me that I looked like a faggot with my new scarf. I guess my new rule will be "If I don't get told I look like a faggot with my current style, it's not gonna get girls attracted badly enough" haha!
Pour conclure - my goals for 2020 so far
- Graduate and move out
- Continue my current workout routine. Evaluate in June.
- Balance my diet and get enough calories. Evaluate in a month.
- Meet friends whenever opportunities arise.
- Night game at least 1-2 times per month. Develop goals to test every outing. Report back on the boards.
- Don't start anymore new goals/activities/habits until I graduate! And know my limitations
Merry Xmas and happy new year!