- Joined
- Apr 28, 2024
- Messages
- 2
Hello, everybody. After the reading few posts on this forum, I've decided to share my experience with the daygame as well some points that I'm struggling with. Maybe some of you have gone through the same thing and have decent advice for me.
To start with, I'm a 28-year-old Eastern European living in Western Europe. I'm a normal-looking, 6-feet-tall guy working in software development. Most of my colleagues are men, so I rarely get a chance to meet girls at work. Even in the few rare cases when a girl at work is not in a relationship, it seems that you have to compete with a few other guys for her attention. I've also tried online dating, but it doesn't seem to work. I get too few likes, and even the girls who do like me seem to not be interested.
I'm currently giving daygame a shot. A friend recommended the London daygame model to me and shared some of their video materials, also suggesting YouTube channels like James Tusk or Todd Valentine. I have started to study this material and made my first approaches last year. The approach anxiety was a big deal for me, but I convinced myself that it was worth it and with time it would be better. So I started speaking with vendors as well as asking girls for direction or making comments during events. After that, I tried direct approaches like complimenting girls and I liked. At the begining of 2024, I decided to start doing daygame systematically, going out at least 6–7 times a month and doing 5–7 sets a day.
Since January, I have gone out nearly 25 times, doing around 120–150 sets. From these sets, I got only nearly 10 numbers/insta, but only one date that led to nothing. 50% of numbers didn't respond; 40% went back and forth, but at some point, girls didn't answer back.
My typical approach is to start with a polite greeting like: "Hi, it's a little bit random, but I have seen you, and I wanted to come over and meet you, because you look really nice." If a girl reacts positively to the compliment, I try to guess what she does for a living or what she is doing right now. For example, if I approach girls in a trading center or on a shopping street, I might say something like, " I guess you've decided to do some shopping after the hard-working day." Or "you look very stylish, I assume you either work in the fashion sector or try to follow recent fashion trends." From there, I try to lead the conversation spontaneously, maintaining focus on her and eventually sharing some relevant stories.
From this strategy, I get around 20% of hard blowouts - girls don't respond at all. About 30% of girls instantly mention they have a boyfriend or need to go. Another 20–30% are staying for a minute or two in conversation and, after that, find a reason to leave, while the remaining 20–30% stay longer. After a few minutes of conversation, I attempt to close these girls, but only 30–50% are willing to give their number. So I typically get 1 number in 2-3 daygame sessions.
In my opinion, I have 4 main sticking points:
1. Managing my bad mood: Being generally prone to depression, very often I find myself not feeling like talking to girls. Even when I can logically convince myself, that doing daygame will provide some amazing experiences with girls, being on the street sometimes feels like just grinding set after set. It feels like this is not what I want to do right now.
2. Being outcome dependent: While receiving a decent reaction makes me feel like the king of the street, getting series of bad rejections makes me doubt whether I'm really a cool guy or if what I'm doing makes any sense at all. Sometimes having really bad session, I am trying to push a few more sets to get at least some good reactions to convince myself to continue, which makes me even more outcome-dependent and sometimes leads to burnout.
3. Opening weak. Despite my attempts to focus on such things as maintaining strong eye contact and body language, speaking slowly and projecting my voice, I still struggle with sub-communication, sometimes coming off as needy or nervous. I just lack a strong conviction that I'm bringing a lot of value to the conversation and that rejections aren't a big deal.
4. Not being able to build attraction: Even though one-third of the girls are staying in conversation, it usually remains rather platonic When I try to flirt, the girls either don't get it or misunderstand. I usually try to close the girls but get a frequent response, that the girl is not feeling like it or doesn't need something like this right now. This is perhaps the most fundamental problem, as I tend to take everything very seriously and struggle with being lighthearted and humorous.
For the next few months, I will focus on addressing my sticking points and consider taking the following steps for each of them:
1. Try to cut sources of bad dopamine like coffee, sugar, junk food, and excessive social media use while maintaining a healthy diet and ensuring I get enough sleep. I'll also make an effort to go outside and engage in activities that make me feel better.
2. This point is hard, but I'll work on shifting my focus to my inner value. I understand that as long as I continue to go out, work on my self-development, and just becomming a better person, I'm on the right way. And I am sure, at the right time, success will come, and I will become less outcome-dependent.
3. Most of the time, I was trying to be spontaneous with the set, so I was not sure if my approach would be decent. For the next sessions, I will try to create some structure, using canned material, so that in case I don't know what to say, I have at least something prepared for different situations. But I guess, in the long term, the only way to deal with this problem is to get a lot of positive reference experience.
4. I guess the reason for not being able to build attraction is the way I perceive the world. Throughout my life, I was the guy who had a problem with building relationships or even perceived the world as a hostile environment. I am still carrying this baggage through my sets, but recently I have been trying to take everything less seriously and see beautiful and funny things around me. On a practical point, I am reading humorous books and watching stand-up comedy, as well as leading a diary about my life from a funny perspective. Also, after each daygame session, I try to analyze my sets and come up with a good way to tease a particular girl in that situation.
I know my results may seem modest compared to those of other guys posting here, but I understand that each of us comes from a different situation, and our paths can vary in length. What's most important to me is that I've enjoyed doing daygame—it's not just about picking up girls, but also about personal growth. I maintain a positive attitude, and I believe that success will eventually come.
To start with, I'm a 28-year-old Eastern European living in Western Europe. I'm a normal-looking, 6-feet-tall guy working in software development. Most of my colleagues are men, so I rarely get a chance to meet girls at work. Even in the few rare cases when a girl at work is not in a relationship, it seems that you have to compete with a few other guys for her attention. I've also tried online dating, but it doesn't seem to work. I get too few likes, and even the girls who do like me seem to not be interested.
I'm currently giving daygame a shot. A friend recommended the London daygame model to me and shared some of their video materials, also suggesting YouTube channels like James Tusk or Todd Valentine. I have started to study this material and made my first approaches last year. The approach anxiety was a big deal for me, but I convinced myself that it was worth it and with time it would be better. So I started speaking with vendors as well as asking girls for direction or making comments during events. After that, I tried direct approaches like complimenting girls and I liked. At the begining of 2024, I decided to start doing daygame systematically, going out at least 6–7 times a month and doing 5–7 sets a day.
Since January, I have gone out nearly 25 times, doing around 120–150 sets. From these sets, I got only nearly 10 numbers/insta, but only one date that led to nothing. 50% of numbers didn't respond; 40% went back and forth, but at some point, girls didn't answer back.
My typical approach is to start with a polite greeting like: "Hi, it's a little bit random, but I have seen you, and I wanted to come over and meet you, because you look really nice." If a girl reacts positively to the compliment, I try to guess what she does for a living or what she is doing right now. For example, if I approach girls in a trading center or on a shopping street, I might say something like, " I guess you've decided to do some shopping after the hard-working day." Or "you look very stylish, I assume you either work in the fashion sector or try to follow recent fashion trends." From there, I try to lead the conversation spontaneously, maintaining focus on her and eventually sharing some relevant stories.
From this strategy, I get around 20% of hard blowouts - girls don't respond at all. About 30% of girls instantly mention they have a boyfriend or need to go. Another 20–30% are staying for a minute or two in conversation and, after that, find a reason to leave, while the remaining 20–30% stay longer. After a few minutes of conversation, I attempt to close these girls, but only 30–50% are willing to give their number. So I typically get 1 number in 2-3 daygame sessions.
In my opinion, I have 4 main sticking points:
1. Managing my bad mood: Being generally prone to depression, very often I find myself not feeling like talking to girls. Even when I can logically convince myself, that doing daygame will provide some amazing experiences with girls, being on the street sometimes feels like just grinding set after set. It feels like this is not what I want to do right now.
2. Being outcome dependent: While receiving a decent reaction makes me feel like the king of the street, getting series of bad rejections makes me doubt whether I'm really a cool guy or if what I'm doing makes any sense at all. Sometimes having really bad session, I am trying to push a few more sets to get at least some good reactions to convince myself to continue, which makes me even more outcome-dependent and sometimes leads to burnout.
3. Opening weak. Despite my attempts to focus on such things as maintaining strong eye contact and body language, speaking slowly and projecting my voice, I still struggle with sub-communication, sometimes coming off as needy or nervous. I just lack a strong conviction that I'm bringing a lot of value to the conversation and that rejections aren't a big deal.
4. Not being able to build attraction: Even though one-third of the girls are staying in conversation, it usually remains rather platonic When I try to flirt, the girls either don't get it or misunderstand. I usually try to close the girls but get a frequent response, that the girl is not feeling like it or doesn't need something like this right now. This is perhaps the most fundamental problem, as I tend to take everything very seriously and struggle with being lighthearted and humorous.
For the next few months, I will focus on addressing my sticking points and consider taking the following steps for each of them:
1. Try to cut sources of bad dopamine like coffee, sugar, junk food, and excessive social media use while maintaining a healthy diet and ensuring I get enough sleep. I'll also make an effort to go outside and engage in activities that make me feel better.
2. This point is hard, but I'll work on shifting my focus to my inner value. I understand that as long as I continue to go out, work on my self-development, and just becomming a better person, I'm on the right way. And I am sure, at the right time, success will come, and I will become less outcome-dependent.
3. Most of the time, I was trying to be spontaneous with the set, so I was not sure if my approach would be decent. For the next sessions, I will try to create some structure, using canned material, so that in case I don't know what to say, I have at least something prepared for different situations. But I guess, in the long term, the only way to deal with this problem is to get a lot of positive reference experience.
4. I guess the reason for not being able to build attraction is the way I perceive the world. Throughout my life, I was the guy who had a problem with building relationships or even perceived the world as a hostile environment. I am still carrying this baggage through my sets, but recently I have been trying to take everything less seriously and see beautiful and funny things around me. On a practical point, I am reading humorous books and watching stand-up comedy, as well as leading a diary about my life from a funny perspective. Also, after each daygame session, I try to analyze my sets and come up with a good way to tease a particular girl in that situation.
I know my results may seem modest compared to those of other guys posting here, but I understand that each of us comes from a different situation, and our paths can vary in length. What's most important to me is that I've enjoyed doing daygame—it's not just about picking up girls, but also about personal growth. I maintain a positive attitude, and I believe that success will eventually come.
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