LR  Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

So while some might see this as a success I feel like my sticking point right now seems to be after the lay - getting another date organised with a highly in demand girl - In person I seem to be on form but organising anything over the phone I seem to be tripping up for some of their old tricks. I can fill in the texting convo details if anyone likes.

Met this girl vaguely through extended friend circle (which I find is how I meet all my top quality girls) about 4 months ago got her number - with a very light touch attempted to organise a meetup - she was always busy and so I basically forgot about her. Roll around the new year, I see her at the local bar again on not last Friday but the one before and suggest we meet up soon, she seems positive and suggests the next week - I say why not tomorrow! She says ok doesnt seem overly committed so I take it with a pinch of salt again. Next day comes and I text her where and when again a very soft approach seems to be working here - she says she cant be bothered to go that far (its not actually far!) so I just dont reply for a few hours and then just as I am caving to say I dont mind coming to her she caves and says she trusts me that its worth the travel and will come. So very short notice it actually goes ahead - notice how she kept the meeting in "maybe happening" territory until almost an hour before it actually happend.... Interesting no? Test?

So we go out have quite a few drinks - I escalate kino very gradually till i'm teasing and "almost kissing" its fun although she finds some of the deep diving questions "so tell me what you really want from life" a little OTT serious and contrived I think. I suggest we go back to my place for a smoke. Very little resistance, Back to my place I release the tension and we escalate to sex very smoothly and quickly, very little LMR, I find not taking underwear off works wonders - just leave it all on and it hardly gets in the way - as long as you still warm up. The sex is good, she cums, I make her squirt for her first time ever - but I can tell its a little detached - the kisses are a little distant - doesn't feel quite that intimate. Afterwards she is quite quick to want to leave, I convince her to watch a film but sheg is adamant that she doesnt want to sleep over because she doesn't like sharing a bed. We watch the wokf of wallstreet and its a long film and I can tell she is getting tired and seems restless to go - I suggest she stays again but there is resistance. At first she wants to walk back on her own but I tell her I will take her to the bus stop (its about 1am).

On the walk over I ask her about previous relationships and she confides in me with some resistance that she's kinda seeing her most recent ex again and actually feels really guilty and bad about what we just did. I say I hope the best and I wouldnt want to get in the way, she thanks me for walking her afterall and says "you're actually nice - I didnt think you would be" a good way to end the evening, we kiss but its a little cold again (no tongues).

I text her the next mornng to tell her I had a good time, she says "it really was thanks..." Then the next day sunday she texts me again asking for the name of a song she heard at my place but I'm busy and cant find the song so dont reply till thursday. I realise now that I should have made this more of a priority and got back to her sooner to keep the momentum going - big mistake there. So now we are onto this week, I call her on the weekend and suggest we meet on tuesday she says she is too busy revising for exams (which are next monday) but says "I'll let you know".............NOW I'm sure many guys have heard this one before!

What is there to do in the face of such blatant game playing! I just laughed at the time told her that it was lame but basically said she was a dork and ok. She doesnt get back to me..... I call her on the tuesday We have some playful baner she says sorry for not getting back and that she thought that I'd forgotten and that I wanted to not disappoint me! SERIOUSLY! LOL Well I told her that she said she would get back to me adn she didnt - not cool. So I suggest she needs a break from studying at some point, needs food etc - THIS I NOW REALISE WAS A MISTAKE - never try giving logically good reasons for something - in a debate this works but here it sounds almost desperate!

This is exactly how she takes it I think as she says "its just two weeks, I think we can wait two weeks!" So she suggests after her exam on monday, I try to nail her down on a day though and she keeps saying "Maybe" she says she doesnt want to say yes after last time I was "so angry I didnt get back to you" apparently (I wasnt angry - just said it wasnt cool!). So I say its nice to plan a day she says she cant right now - I realise this is becoming another debate so I just try to end the convo as nicely as possible (cant remember specifics - something about being spontaneous and not needing to plan ahead).

So now we have a maybe maybe tuesday planned.... I realise now I should have continued with the very soft approach of no "convincing" more just putting it out there.

I plan to not contact her till the weekend and hopefully see her in the library before next week and sort something out in person since in person we seem to work quite well and last time we bumped into each other there was something there. I just hope the phone convo didnt delete it all.

What should be my plan now assuming I see her soon and she says "maybe" again - been thinking of not trying to plan anything specific just talk about fun stuff to do and the idea of doing it next week...

Re: LR - Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

Hey gf, good to see ya! I'll give some input here...

Met this girl vaguely through extended friend circle (which I find is how I meet all my top quality girls) about 4 months ago got her number - with a very light touch attempted to organise a meetup - she was always busy and so I basically forgot about her. Roll around the new year, I see her at the local bar again on not last Friday but the one before and suggest we meet up soon, she seems positive and suggests the next week - I say why not tomorrow! She says ok doesnt seem overly committed so I take it with a pinch of salt again. Next day comes and I text her where and when again a very soft approach seems to be working here - she says she cant be bothered to go that far (its not actually far!) so I just dont reply for a few hours and then just as I am caving to say I dont mind coming to her she caves and says she trusts me that its worth the travel and will come. So very short notice it actually goes ahead - notice how she kept the meeting in "maybe happening" territory until almost an hour before it actually happend.... Interesting no? Test?

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You had good, "non-needy" persistence here. Well done getting the date.

The sex is good, she cums, I make her squirt for her first time ever - but I can tell its a little detached - the kisses are a little distant - doesn't feel quite that intimate.

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Women are very keen on picking up on vibes/emotions. If you felt like it was a bit detached, multiply that number by 10, and that's how detached she probably felt about it. If I can remember similar lay reports by you, this is a common trend. I get the feeling you are pushing through to get sex with persistence, but it's not the type of persistence that's necessarily getting her excited to be with you. It could be that your tactics are good, but your vibe is too mechanical -- almost like a robot. No woman really wants to have sex with a robot!

I could be off here, but it does seem to be the trend with some of your reports. You might want to look into incorporating some playful humor into your physical escalation techniques -- a girl should be borderline "giggling" as you escalate with her... as if it's some fun game that you're both playing and that she knows she has no chance of winning but still wants to play anyway!

Anyway, there's still a few other things to mention, so let's move on here...

Afterwards she is quite quick to want to leave, I convince her to watch a film but sheg is adamant that she doesnt want to sleep over because she doesn't like sharing a bed. We watch the wokf of wallstreet and its a long film and I can tell she is getting tired and seems restless to go - I suggest she stays again but there is resistance.

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It's fine to offer to watch a movie (because the only gesture you need to give her afterward is that you're letting her know she's allowed to stay), but definitely never push to make her stay. This is going to give off a very needy and controlling vibe. Remember, it's persistence until you get sex, but afterward you need to be relaxed -- not aloof (which I'll explain shortly), but relaxed.

Then the next day sunday she texts me again asking for the name of a song she heard at my place but I'm busy and cant find the song so dont reply till thursday. I realise now that I should have made this more of a priority and got back to her sooner to keep the momentum going - big mistake there.

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This is unfortunate... definitely a mistake here. After you've slept with a girl, you need to switch gears and be very warm to any attempt by her to contact you, especially if you want to see her again. At least you realized this.

When she contacts you after the first time you guys get together, you'll want to respond within the same day if you can (unless she contacts you late at night -- then you can wait until the next morning). And you want to be very warm. She seemed very "on the fence" about her experience with you, and your carefree conversation afterward was actually positive and helped alleviate things. But then when she decides she'll give you a shot... you go cold on her. Oops! =/

What should be my plan now assuming I see her soon and she says "maybe" again - been thinking of not trying to plan anything specific just talk about fun stuff to do and the idea of doing it next week...

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She's super on the fence about you and quite can't make up her mind on whether or not she should see you again. I think you've made it clear that you want to see her, and she's made it clear that she will let you know when she's available (or, in other words, if she wants to keep seeing you). I think at this point, you should just wait and let her contact you. Any more pushing from your end and you'll probably end up pushing her right over the other side of the fence!

Hope this helps.

- Franco

Re: LR - Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

My friend, ok here. You should have let her go right after sex. Right there you kind of seemed needy and i think she picked up on that. Here look at it this way. Say you go to a store to get what you want, an i pad, computer whatever your into you go to the store. You are the salesman, trying to make the sale and she is the buyer. You sell her the ipad she is satisfied (also you should maybe have deep dived and asked her if she wasn't really that much into kissing, to me it sounds like she was just looking for a quick lay)

Anyways you sold her the ipad, and she was satisfied and was like ok thanks for everything have a good day. but you step in like hey! don't go look at these other things we have. she informs you she really just wanted the ipad but no thanks. You persist, oh well here don't go i still haven't shown you these things. So to be polite she sticks around, not willingly but politely. After she made her dash from the store, she really has no plan on coming back, mostly because you were being too pushy into something she really wasn't looking for. If that makes any sense to you. At this point i would have to say next her. the ball is in her court.

Re: LR - Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

Franco said:

Hey gf, good to see ya! I'll give some input here...
. I think at this point, you should just wait and let her contact you. Any more pushing from your end and you'll probably end up pushing her right over the other side of the fence!

- Franco

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Really appreciate this franco - makes me glad I popped by the forum again, great to see you! First of all I want to say that this girl is quite a bit younger, I'm certainly far more experienced than her which is why I handled things really well with her up until sex, I think she was quite impressed (maybe even too impressed- she said "you had it all planned" - to which I said I just wanted to hang out and have a good time) with how smoothly it went. I think I went a bit off after that because I'm not used to girls being quite so distant and almost player like afterwards...so....

I really appreciate your comments on the intimacy, I would add that I think this might have been down to her wanting to keep herself detached because of the thing with her ex though no? Having said that YES maybe I need to just relax it a little - I'm so used to getting shed loads of resistance that when I dont.... its too easy.. and I actually rush things - which I did in this case with the escalation (although not so much with the sex) - I realised afterwards that I was too easy and not playful enough - I know exactly what you mean - at least after I first got inside her I should have really slowed it down and started teasing her then - ontop of this I was a little mechanical because I had just had a lot of sex the day before (I know from experience that this isnt ideal, but this was such a spontaneous thing there's nothing I could have done) and wasn't crazy animal into it like I can be. I really appreciate the idea of making it more of a game - its pretty much a sealed deal if we're kissing in bed so I need to dial up the fun - any personal tips? - I'm thinking maybe ,more of the kiss teasing - that was working wonders in the bar - magic

RE the persistence - see below

The same applies to the call I had with her - I let her lull me into the chase frame immediately cause she was apologising to me for not getting back to me... I need to regain that frame asap - but how!?

You seem to suggest that I don't do anything? You havent suggested anything I can say in the case she says something along the lines of "I'll let you know/maybe" - I take it this is because you think I pretty much shouldnt be asking her again? I can fully appreciate why that could work - it has done before essentially and as before I have left the ball in her court. The only issue I have is that attraction has an expiry date and I feel that if I let it drag on even more then the connection we had almost 2 weeks ago now will only get colder..?

lets say I see her again around? Lets say I see her eg in the library - if I was playful and only mentioned meeting as an aside (or not at all?) then maybe this could be a good chance to stop things from dying? - maybe just put out there that we could have fun but its upto her before I read this I wanted to go for a vicky christina barcelona moment "life is short life is dull life is full of pain - we would have fun if we did something next week - think about it" with a smile after a high point...or maybe you would say I just say hi have a bit of fun and leave it at that - let her get back to me - maybe just say - "get back to me"

maximus6004 said:

My friend, ok here. You should have let her go right after sex. Right there you kind of seemed needy and i think she picked up on that. Here look at it this way. Say you go to a store to get what you want, an i pad, computer whatever your into you go to the store. You are the salesman, trying to make the sale and she is the buyer. You sell her the ipad she is satisfied (also you should maybe have deep dived and asked her if she wasn't really that much into kissing, to me it sounds like she was just looking for a quick lay)

the ball is in her court.

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I like your analogy here - yes I was just trying to keep up good after sex etiquette - you know chase's code of making them breakfast and having sex with them multiple times - that was my aim in keeping her there. I really thought having sex with her once more and bit more intimately could have made things a little more firm. But of course now I look back and I realise that I did push too much (its that persistence again). I had assumed because she is young that she needs and wants leading. However in this case that was probably not ideal (why? because she was not in the mood for that). Funny you say about the quick lay - she actually said "you're a good lay" with some other hints at one point - that was surprising coming from her! - i think I sometimes underestimate how good they can be at this game game- being attractive really pushes their abilities to levels of intuitive mastery!

Re: LR - Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

gf,

I really appreciate the idea of making it more of a game - its pretty much a sealed deal if we're kissing in bed so I need to dial up the fun - any personal tips? - I'm thinking maybe ,more of the kiss teasing - that was working wonders in the bar - magic

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Teasing works wonders here, especially if you can frame it as her "seducing" you. Saying things such as, "you must be quite the seductress... you've lead me all the way to this bedroom!" You need to make sure that you're smiling and caressing her when you say this so that she understands you're playing a game... a sexy game. Try experimenting with sexual chase frames.

Also, you can make comments in between kissing to turn her on. For example, one that I say often to girls when I first begin to kiss them during physical escalation is, "I like your lips..." -- and I'll do this in the middle of the kiss, except I pull away from her lips about an inch, say it, smile, and then go back in for more kissing after she smiles back (which is what the girl has done 99% of the time when I do it).

These kinds of things make her feel more comfortable and in the moment, and it gets her thinking about the passionate spark that is happening. This, in turn, gets her more aroused.

You seem to suggest that I don't do anything? You havent suggested anything I can say in the case she says something along the lines of "I'll let you know/maybe" - I take it this is because you think I pretty much shouldnt be asking her again? I can fully appreciate why that could work - it has done before essentially and as before I have left the ball in her court.

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The only reason I'm suggesting this is that you've already made several mistakes. As we mention all the time on this website, it's much easier to execute things flawlessly from the very beginning with a girl because it keeps you firmly in control. Once you have it down, you don't need to start hoping for her to make decisions because she simply will do what you want her to do, every time. It takes awhile to get to that point though, and as you make mistakes, you're going to lose control of the situation here and there and then rely on her to decide whether or not she should continue.

Remember, when you refine yourself to be the man of every girl's dreams (which means not making mistakes all the way through the process), then it's simply a matter of letting her come to you. No games will be played on her part because she desires you so badly that she'll do what is necessary to make things work.

The only issue I have is that attraction has an expiry date and I feel that if I let it drag on even more then the connection we had almost 2 weeks ago now will only get colder..?

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When Chase refers to attraction having an expiration date, he's talking about the amount of time you have to take a girl to bed before she moves on. Once you've taken her to bed, the expiration date no longer applies.

lets say I see her again around? Lets say I see her eg in the library - if I was playful and only mentioned meeting as an aside (or not at all?) then maybe this could be a good chance to stop things from dying? - maybe just put out there that we could have fun but its upto her before I read this I wanted to go for a vicky christina barcelona moment "life is short life is dull life is full of pain - we would have fun if we did something next week - think about it" with a smile after a high point...

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None of this will really do anything positive for you at the moment. She knows you want to see her, and she has to decide if she still wants to see you. That's what happens when you make mistakes along the way. It's best just to learn from them so that you don't put yourself in positions like this again where she has to fight with her emotions and decide if you're worth seeing again. It'll take some tweaking on your part, but when you get it down, you'll find that girls simply stop playing games after you've taken them to bed. They simply do whatever they can to see you again.

Funny you say about the quick lay - she actually said "you're a good lay" with some other hints at one point - that was surprising coming from her! - i think I sometimes underestimate how good they can be at this game game- being attractive really pushes their abilities to levels of intuitive mastery

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What probably happened here is that the actual sex was similar to the persistence towards sex: the tactics were good (meaning your physical ability in bed was good), but the emotional aspect was lacking. This is probably why she's having some conflict; she enjoyed the physical pleasure you gave her, but she's unsure of how she feels about you emotionally. She might even be worried that you're controlling. So that is why your best bet is to just relax at this point and hope she comes around.

- Franco

Re: LR - Cute hot young blonde - "I'll let you know"

Franco said:

What probably happened here is that the actual sex was similar to the persistence towards sex: the tactics were good (meaning your physical ability in bed was good), but the emotional aspect was lacking. This is probably why she's having some conflict; she enjoyed the physical pleasure you gave her, but she's unsure of how she feels about you emotionally. She might even be worried that you're controlling. So that is why your best bet is to just relax at this point and hope she comes around.

- Franco

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Read this a few times and wanted to respond to each part but there wasn't enough time till now - I really appreciate it. I have left it with total radio silence since the phone call (and a short text straight after "lol see you are such a dork working working see I knew it! night" it was just a play on the teasing we had going before but now in isolation its not great). No response since then (last tuesday) I think it was - so she had her exam today so I thought the ideal thing to do would be to ask her how it went? I might just leave it till tomorrow (tuesday) which was the day we said we might do something to see if she replies and if she doesn't then I might send something tomorrow instead. I really dont think just leaving it past that is a good idea - it will come across as cold and passive aggressive I feel especially after that text. So since I've decided to contact her - what day is best and would you say call or text? I'm thinking csending a text this evening or tomorrow would be best..I know for sure that I can't just leave it as nothing at the least I need to release any negative tension due to the last contact

I find that no contact is probably best. I used to be bad for saying hey just hit me up when you get a chance but if you wait too long it becomes implied it is going no where. When you do that after a certain amount if time it becomes awkward she knows you like her and she Erroll know you are looking for a reaction. We want results. Just move on and you will forget about it.

i diagnose this case with a pill for abundance mentality my friend go talk to a hundred girls!

Max

gf,

I still think no contact is your best bet here. If you really feel the need to proactively do something, then I would at least give it two full weeks of no contact first. Then maybe you can hit her up with a simple, "Hey Jen, how was your weekend? "

That's about all I can suggest, but it's really in her hands now. And usually when that is the case, then as far as the guy goes, "less is more."

- Franco

Franco said:

gf,

I still think no contact is your best bet here. If you really feel the need to proactively do something, then I would at least give it two full weeks of no contact first. Then maybe you can hit her up with a simple, "Hey Jen, how was your weekend? "

That's about all I can suggest, but it's really in her hands now. And usually when that is the case, then as far as the guy goes, "less is more."

- Franco

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Thanks franco - Hmm ok I can see why it would be good to leave it till after her last (less important) exam on friday.....BUT she said we should meet up this week in the phone call last week - I dont see why I shouldnt capitalise on that and just let it get all long ago and weird, its been a week and after that long things get very odd no?

I thought if I act cool and non needy today/tomorrow/wed that could wipe the slate clean - so I can leave it with a clear conscience.

I'm trying to work out what the main thing is that I did wrong here - as far as I can tell I did most of the things right in chase's checkist of 1-dominance and 2-treating her well after the sex. I think I did these things - the main thing that was really off was the persistence asking her to go on a date when she had said maybe maybe already - I should have just dropped it at that.

Sometimes you can't control what happens, i had a girl i met at the club and she was super into me. now she is barley responding to me we were supposed to get coffee tonight so now im going to cancel with her. I didnt do anything wrong.

!) she could just not feel up to the energy
2) she could have found someone in that time
3) you ddnt move fast enough/ came off as needy or she even had a chance to hook up with an old boyfriend.
4) Maybe you came off too strongly and intimidated her, i have had girls not go out with me because they have thought i was too good for them. Or the opposite some thought there status was too high to be with a guy like me
5) Could have moved too fast, she thinks your a player

My point is sometimes things can't be controlled, don't go changing who you are to please someone just say well i tried maybe i could have done this better and try something different out. You can't get everyone.

Chase did an article about the donkey the old man and the child. If not google it.

Max

maximus6004 said:

Sometimes you can't control what happens, i had a girl i met at the club and she was super into me. now she is barley responding to me we were supposed to get coffee tonight so now im going to cancel with her. I didnt do anything wrong.

!) she could just not feel up to the energy
2) she could have found someone in that time
3) you ddnt move fast enough/ came off as needy or she even had a chance to hook up with an old boyfriend.
4) Maybe you came off too strongly and intimidated her, i have had girls not go out with me because they have thought i was too good for them. Or the opposite some thought there status was too high to be with a guy like me
5) Could have moved too fast, she thinks your a player

My point is sometimes things can't be controlled, don't go changing who you are to please someone just say well i tried maybe i could have done this better and try something different out. You can't get everyone.

Chase did an article about the donkey the old man and the child. If not google it.

Max

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In this case I clearly moved fast enough but I think its also clear that her heart is still to some extent with her ex (think the guilt after the sex and the quick exit).

NEW TEXTS!

She texted me today (we had planned to maybe maybe do something today over the phone in that fateful convo)

"hey you, just so you wont get upset, I'm sorry I can't do tonight! Xx"

So I was going to text her today or tomorrow and I knew I should have! This reminds me that often you need to rely on your assessment of the situation because you cant get all of the nuiances down on paper - I'm pretty sure not texting her in this case came across as not a big deal but maybe a little hint of negative/angry/controlling/manipulative (for her not coming out last time and not agreeing to this time)- although its no big deal. I responded by first trying to call her soon after the text (always my first choice - I am far better over the phone) she didn't pick up (not ideal I realise - in hindsight she might have thought i was angry so shouldn't have put her under the pressure to pick up right now - also I should have left it a little longer to get back to her - but I really dont think these little details mean that much) then texted her telling her that I'm ill and have missed lectures all week.. and another just asking how her exam went - I expect she'll text back later and we should be back to less stressy calmness...I think this brings things to a more neutral buffer zone - depending on how the texting goes we will both be on the same page and I think I can call her on saturday and suggest we make a meal - leaving the ball on her court again by asking her when she is free - I'm guessing she will play the same "I dont know when" game - in which case I think the standard advice of just leaving it with her is all I can do right?

....

NEW CALLS

Also she texted to tease me about being ill - said I should man up its just man flu (not sure the best funny way to keep that teasing vibe going? - this was over the phone and respond to that - any comedians out there?)- also wants to stop me from calling her little pumpkin - teased her and sent her a pic of a little pumpkin so she called me back to tell me to stop it lol.

Was fun - then asked her how her exams went - and said we should have food sometime next week once she's recovered from her exams - she said a non-committal "hmm yeh but thats going to take a while since I'm going out all weekend with no sleep"

I said cool will be good to see how hardcore she is and just left it at that.

SO - I think big plus is that theres now no longer a weird vibe like before about the not going out and her thinking I'm pissed off. - GOOD to get rid of that pressure. BUT not much movement in terms of meeting up - I get the feeling she likes me but she has some thing going with this ex of hers and so maybe doesn't want to jeopardise that by being super eager with me (even though she might be if he wasn't around) - so she's playing me on the side - keeping me sweet as a backup? or a wild small chance that she thinks I'm actually too high value (I know she thinks I'm good looking and clearly far better educated than her with better prospects presumably) - maybe the other guy is good BF material and I'm just her naughty little bit on the side since she thinks she wouldn't be able to pin me down? (hence her "you're a good lay" comment)

In all these cases what do I do next - I'm pretty sure I can meet up with her again at some point but I think the meal idea might be a little too forward and "coupley"? I would suggest the same as before but that would be too predictable in terms of outcome etc. When I suggested going into the center for some cooler bars etc (I know she has expensive taste so this is more up her street than the bar we went to) but she was a little hesitant at that suggestion last week (again too much investment (travel) maybe)

My friend here.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/cant- ... more-girls

your already thinking too much into it, next your going to be like i wonder what we would be like ina relationship, are we going to be in a relationship. refer back to said article my friend.



Max

lasting comments. Set up the date and move onto the next girl or where you are going to get the next girl. Read new techniques focus on something else. I don't have conversations like that anymore they will want to take it slower with you because now you are showing your social value. Forget which article that is.

Get in set up the date, then have fun like this with her in person. She is being trained that anytime she wants she can call you. Make yourself more scarce!

maximus6004 said:

lasting comments. Set up the date and move onto the next girl or where you are going to get the next girl. Read new techniques focus on something else. I don't have conversations like that anymore they will want to take it slower with you because now you are showing your social value. Forget which article that is.

Get in set up the date, then have fun like this with her in person. She is being trained that anytime she wants she can call you. Make yourself more scarce!

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I have plenty of abundance mentality - I'm not sitting here thinking about this all day - I just come on here to discuss the details of a particularly interesting case. I have at least 3 girls on the roll at any one time, I know I could close girls as hot as this one if I met them but I'm busy and this is a particularly convenient one since she is at the same uni and is pretty local - maybe thats distorting my thinking a little but thats exactly why I'm on here - I know the standard mantra though thanks (no need to tell me again that I should just find other girls) its just a lot of the info on the site is for getting a girl into bed the first time - but thats not the issue here. Also I really like doing all of the after sex things with girls like 1.holding her after.2.having her spend the night.3. multiple times sex etc but in this case that wasnt possible - and just as in the article on second dates - I'm not sure what to do in the situation I'm in with THIS girl

The whole point is how best to handle the game playing and working out what is the best way to handle it. I know for sure if I was to do everything perfectly from now on that there would be something to be had here - Maybe I just need to up the sexual side of things - just tease etc - bringing up stuff from 2 weeks ago now is lame.... hmm


RE the still seeing her ex thing I think this chase post might be relevant - very subtle gentle persistance worked at getting her out in the past - if I'd just NC'd her after the first time I talked to her and played hard to get I wouldnt have had a great night with her:

#9: Be Persistent

Some guys meet a girl with a boyfriend who is not sure whether she wants them or not. Many guys will get discouraged here and throw in the towel, when in fact had they persisted somewhat they would've gotten the girl.

You needn't be persistent in an off-putting way - you can be quite charming as you persist. e.g.:

You: Come with me, let's steal away into the night.

Her: I can't... I have a boyfriend.
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This kind of persistence can be very winning with women - very attractive to them. And if you persist with a girl persistently (sounds funny, right? Persist persistently?), and she stays around for it, you can be assured that she's at least considering it... otherwise, she'd be uncomfortable and she'd be gone.

enough faffing around I think all it needs is clean simple dominance - but how to do that without being "controlling"..

well yes this is a very annoying situation, i`d have just sent a parting shot leaving the ball in her court then deleted the number and conditioned my brain she was a pathetic asshole and moved on though its damn hard after having good time with a quality girl.

i see the clear pattern that this site teaches us - relative value and attainability: girls want to keep men that have the highest value among those they think can be tamed. this results in stories like this or getting fed up with brushing off contact attempts from subpar girls. the worst scenario is when you lost a nice girl AND you get too much unwanted attention from the plebs. something girls have to cope with too...?

i Re read this article, something i noticed that im going to put into effect right away was that you didn't text her back after she said it was too far away!

Thank you for that!

UPDATE**

she just got back to my call earlier this week where she was being super flaky and non interested - today she calls and we plan a meetup next week tuesday.....

she tried pulling the tease on me and acting all cool again "oh yeh I forgot you are old" and when I said we'd go on an adventure she sarcastically said "oh when you put it like that it sounds so much fun I cant say no!" I just laughed it off and told her that I'd eaten girls like her for breakfast and its cute that shes trying to be cool..

I gave her the option of cooking at my place or going out to town - she took the going out to town option - but I think if I really wanted I could possibly switch that to her coming over for dinner - but might be less fun and since last time we just had sex and the connection was an issue I'm thinking this time I should do more stuff with her and build more of a connection, coming back to my place could prove a little problematic since its quite far out (althogh in the same direction as her so not that bad). I think just hanging out and having fun + dialing up the sexual tone is key.

so the fun begins again

What do you expect to get from this girl? Where do you want things to go?