When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent bedded



When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent bedded

Postby perpetualsun » Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:35 pm

Hi Everyone,

Recently I’ve been meeting a girl who’ve I’ve been on a couple dates with. I haven’t been able to bed her yet since each time it was a lunch date or the logistics didn’t plan out well by random chance (friends visiting etc). Last date (today) she had to be somewhere after so I wasn’t able to bring up going to mine or her place. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and that was it (did not want to escalate too far without a window of opportunity to bed her). Since it’s been going on a while without being able to bed her, should I wait a day or two before messaging her just to not be too predictable and have her think or would you recommend texting right away?

Essentially, it’s been 5 dates without being able to get her to bed due to logistics and I don’t know if waiting a day or two would make her lose interest since I did kiss her in the cheek. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Re: When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent be

Postby Fluxcapacitor » Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:51 am

Perpetualsun dude! There's a few factors to this as to where the two of ya are. Girls want progress in a relationship if ya have went from kissing on the lips to a platonic kiss on the cheek ya have went backwards and that can put her into autorejection...

If the date was totally shit then ya wait a day or two to get rid of that feeling. If the date was otherwise good follow up.

Seeing a girl once a week is good for maintenance especially after ya have bedded her. Until then sometimes ya have to see them more regularly. Younger girls will be put off by to much space early on when they're not hooked on yet.

If she's hooked she'll chase you in that space, if not get to scheduling.

However five dates is a lot, unless ya have been providing an paying for everything so she's getting something from this I think it's safe to say she's interested. If ya wanna keep her on her toes I would only recommend waiting a day tops here due to the weak ending. If she's in autorejection from a back step and left feeling disappointed that that's all she got on the date ya need to let her know ya still into her.

Just my thoughts dude!
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Re: When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent be

Postby Fuck This » Sat Sep 14, 2019 1:43 pm

I've seen cases where women have been slow to get physical and it is usually to avoid being a one night stand, looking for a relationship, and or concern about STD's. Other reasons could be wanting to preserve virginity, or simply lack of experience.

With the exception of under 18 dating,(especially my kids), by date 5 there needs to be some degree of physical intimacy or else someone is getting friend zoned.

As an Over 40 adult, I better be feeling some sexual urges on Date 1 before I even consider a second date. TBH though there is enough women who would sleep with me on a first date that I don't feel I have to wait 5 dates to convert. I'm pretty damn sure if I had 5 first dates with 5 different women in the same week I would get laid at least once. That is why it is important to have options. Now i'll admit I have a couple of women I could have technically say i've been on 5 "dates" with and not had sex with. One used to be an industry colleague, and I nailed her out of town friend the first night we met. The other is a friend of 10 years who I met while married, and friend zoned. It was rumored among her employees we were dating, but I really appreciated her as a friend and really never felt the horny boner for her. Probably because we started out as friends...

If you made it through 5 dates and you aren't pissed off about not getting laid yet you really aren't that into her. You could have had 5 first dates in that time.

Assuming you are of Legal consent age...
I'd text her proposing a date where you are going away somewhere (even camping, since it is still somewhat warm out) inferring it will be romantic and you will be alone, AND SPENDING THE NIGHT TOGETHER. If she is stringing you along, she will demur. If she really likes you but is guarded about sex, this is the time to have that conversation. You are 2 dates TOO LATE with this. Seriously by the second date you both should be talking about sex to some degree.

Yes I would date a woman If i knew she wasn't going to have sex with me. But I would have other women I was screwing. I wouldn't volunteer that information and I wouldn't hide it either. "What girl A and I do in private is our business." is all you need to say.
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Re: When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent be

Postby Alchemy32osp » Sat Sep 14, 2019 3:46 pm

Fluxcapacitor wrote: Seeing a girl once a week is good for maintenance especially after ya have bedded her. Until then sometimes ya have to see them more regularly. Younger girls will be put off by to much space early on when they're not hooked on yet.

If she's hooked she'll chase you in that space, if not get to scheduling.

I’m 26 and am often dating girls in the 18-22 range. Is there nuance to that seeing them more regularly than once a week approach? Like what are the tells you use to determine if a girl is a 1 date a week kind of girl or see her more regularly until you’ve bedded her?

I’m curious because I’ve had some success in this age range, but not consistent success, and I rarely push for more than 1 meet up a week.
Alchemy: transforming suffering into love.
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Re: When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent be

Postby Fluxcapacitor » Tue Sep 17, 2019 6:47 pm

Alchemy32osp dude! Am 28 an usually date girls 18 - 22 as well, there's nuance to seeing them more regularly. Am constantly busy an can usually only manage once a week which is fine when they are hooked. The tells are typically how hard they are chasing ya.

Younger girls will go off ya much faster if they feel you're unattainable, unavailable an too much hard work. There ego takes a knock and they move on.

Ya can't always be available but if they wanna meet up soon an say they're free tomorrow or the day after if you're free go for it. They're looking for that connection an ya can only get that in person. Once you've slept with them once a week is usually fine.

Its It's a balance if she's chasing really hard she's hooked anyway, if she's she's showing signs of chasing but not just there yet meet sooner. The goal is to sleep with her fast so if ya need to see her more than once to do it get out regularly. Ya will get better at seeing this an getting a gut feeling/instinct
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Re: When to text back girls who you’ve been on multiple dates with but havent be

Postby Alchemy32osp » Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:01 am

@Flux -> Okay thanks for diving into that explanation!

I need to learn more about how to tell how hard a girl is chasing me. I think I’ve been erroring on the side of being too unavailable and going dead silent for too long.

Attainability is also a huge factor probably. I’m from the US, but I’m living in a small German town for the summer, which makes me a mini-celebrity here lol. This has me thinking I need to go for meet ups sooner and show a bit more investment into the girls so they don’t think I’m an unattainable fuck boi
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