History repeating itself, I miss something



History repeating itself, I miss something

Postby Alpha13S » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:55 pm

Hi,

This is the first time posting after reading lots of articles from the site which I learned a lot from, but now I m struggling a situation that happens a few times and I feel like I miss something.
I will explain my last 2 dates since it happened like this a few times in the past.
Situation 1:
I have a date with a girl. Usually I take them on my motorcycle at night, 10-11pm and I go in a park, since it s easier for me and I m feeling good or a simple date in a bar, both work.
Basically I make her laugh, teasing her, discussing lots of subject which is very good. After 1-2h I go for a kiss which happens(if she doesn t do it, I m teasing her like "you re gonna beg me for this later" which work most of the times). I tend to be a little aggresive and go with the bad boy attitude since I m an impulsive person and this allows me to speak my mind freely, showing interest, asking awkward questions or anything that requires some balls and it fits my personality perfect. Also, I think this could be a problem, I get those words "so, you're lie that with all the girls? why do you go out with girls? what do you want from them?" and my response is something like "I like going out with girls, spending time with them, if something happens after that, even better, I don t want something specifically". Those are the words I used on my last date. So unconscious I adopt a fuckboy attitude with is a good thing for the moment because I make the things entertaining. Sometimes, if I m in a car with the girl, I go even further and kiss her on the neck, fingering her if she allows me. The date seems good and at the end I m like "man, I m good, this is gonna be easy peasy". The second day I usually don t talk with them, but the day after, I feel more relaxed this way. And then, they are more distant, act like they don t gonna see me again sometimes. The girl from the last day has a different attitude in text than the first time(get her from Tinder).

Situation 2:
After 2nd or 3rd date, I bring the girl home, watching a movie or similar situation. All good, feeling ok, but when I try to go more physically, she doesn't let me go further. I had LMR before, but sometimes this is beyond like "I want this, but I'm not feeling like I should do it". In one date, I go with things further, getting her shirt off, kissing her breasts. Something happened, and my nose start bleeding(weird, it happened to me before with girls when I was doing the same thing), and after I come back I seeing her getting dressed with a distang attitude. How to act from here? I mean, my attitude go very much into a fuck boy sometimes, but with caution to make her feel good, and keeping everything funny.

If you can offer me some hints how to get over it, it would be purrfect. I like going out with girls very much, it's so much fun to have a feminine presence near you, but sometimes I want sexual results also. It doesn't happen all times what I related here, but quite a few times and I don t want to let this affect my pleasure to get out with girls.

Have a good day,
Alpha13S
Alpha13S


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Re: History repeating itself, I miss something

Postby JacobPalmer » Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:50 pm

I think you're biggest problem is your date structure. It seems like the first date or two are set up so you actually DON'T go home with her at all. So what happens is you kiss/finger etc and then there's so much expectation for when date number 3 happens that it becomes too much pressure for her and she starts thinking things through too much. If you're playing the "fuckboy attitude" then you should be trying to pull on date #1-2.

Personally, I've had better experience with either going all the way or none of the way when it comes to intimacy. There is no in between. So I suggest if you're going to be intimate then go all the way, but if you're not, then go for a brief kiss and then that's it. Anything more will wither make her think she now has you, or it will arouse her too much but then she doesn't get any sexual release, and that will frustrate her. Or it will come across that you're afraid to take her home/don't really know what you're doing.

As for the nosebleeds, it's just a mood killer. I think your best bet is preventative, like, if you start having a nosebleed again, just say to her - "I'll be back, don't move" or "I'll be right back, find a good song to put on". Give her something to do while you're away.
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Re: History repeating itself, I miss something

Postby Alpha13S » Sat Sep 14, 2019 3:43 am

Firstly, thank you for your reply! Didn't think about the date structure, but I can try now this 2, either going full attitude, or slowing down and getting to know her better and remain at just kissing. The thing is that the perfect situation for me would to put me in the fuckzone if that makes sense. I don t think a girl put me in a boyfriend zone in the last period because I don t show too much emotions, if that counts.
For the part with full fuckboy, basically I should going more in sexual conversation, arousing her and closing with her to my place? This seems to be the way as I can see, but feel free to correct me if I m wrong. No problem doing that, but what if she refuse and then the next day I don t see so much investment as the first time? This is the problem I need a solution for.

Agree with the nosebleeds part, that could have been handled better.
As for the part where she comes to me but nothing happen? I usually make steps, sometimes too aggresive, then if she takes my hand more than 2-3 times, I ll retreat.
Alpha13S


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