Building a cool life

Building a cool life

Postby zappbrannigan » Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:28 am

Hi all,

So if you've seen my introductory post, I've moved into a place of my own last year and am starting to actually work on getting women into my life. Not much luck so far, but I have seen a ton of improvement over the past year. When living with my parents, I just had solitary hobbies and never went out much anymore. My circle of friends dwindled, with only the closest of friends still keeping in touch once in a while. In retrospect, I was a total loser. I refer to that part of my life as the "old me". This is a mental hack to make me feel cooler already, now. But I fear sliding back.

Now, I still have solitary hobbies, but I've also taken up a martial art like an insane person (going from zero exercise to 3 or 4 days a week). With a taxing full-time job, sometimes a bit of freelancing on the side, and this much training in the evenings, I barely have any time left during the week to do anything else I would find interesting, much less meet women. In the weekends I sometimes plan things with old friends, but that's not bringing any new people into my life. I tend towards the geeky things, but I find that, for example, board game nights are usually sausage fests. Besides, I used to think geeks are "my people", but I find that many geeks have personal demons. They aren't the happiest people. Many are arrogant (possibly as a coping mechanism), most seem depressed. They often like to put other people down to feel better about themselves.

Over time, I've noticed that the people I get along with best are often a bit "different", but not geeks. Probably that's why I tend to go for foreign women. Ironically, I find less educated people to actually be much more down to earth and laid back, less competitive and more friendly and outgoing than highly educated ones (I'm highly educated myself), especially as we get older. Back in school, those used to be the bullies, the annoying types. I think they've learned to be humble as they aren't as successful in later life while the geeks notice that now they are ruling the world, and "it's payback time, bitches!". Really not a pretty sight. Maybe it's because I recognize myself in this and I don't like it.

Anyway, my parents weren't the most social people either and they didn't really have a sense of humor and didn't express a lot of affection for each other (or me and my sister), so I never learned how to be funny or loving. I would've probably discovered this sooner if I'd left home earlier, but what's done is done, I must look to the future. The thing is, that I never really learned how to live life from my parents. I'm just wondering, how to go about building a cool life that I can actually look back on and think "yeah, that was worth it" when I die.

I've occasionally joined meetup groups, which helps a bit in socializing with people, but so far I'm still lacking a "spark" that brings joy to my life. The martial arts are really cool and I fully intend to keep it up, but I want more. I'm having some trouble actually planning my days ahead, and when the weekend rolls around I often find myself without plans. Sometimes I go to exhibits or fairs in town, but they usually fail to interest or impress me.

Sometimes I walk around in nature which I find soothing, but that's also pretty solitary and not exactly exciting. Doing cool things will also (hopefully) make me more interesting to women, as I will have some stories to tell and so on.

I know it's a broad question, I'd just like some hints and ideas on how to get started. I can't be the first person to struggle with this around here!

Space Monkey
Space Monkey
Posts: 115
Joined: Sat May 25, 2019 3:38 pm

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