Possible to start as a loner



Possible to start as a loner

Postby 951145 » Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:55 pm

So in the simplest terms I have no social life nor have I ever had an interest in learning social rules. I am wondering if I should even bother learning the dynamics of hookups/dating as they seem to imply having normal social skills with just a bit of shy/awkwardness. I probably won't go to the extent of changing myself so dramatically just for a chance at sampling women/ dating. Like, if one is not looking to play games and just have an autistic matchmaking experience, is it possible or does the social dynamics involved just make it too weird and difficult?

Other option I'm looking at is changing sides and getting HRT. Already know I swing both ways.
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Re: Possible to start as a loner

Postby ElderPrice » Wed Apr 17, 2019 8:24 pm

Not entirely sure what you're asking so let's start with this: What do you want?
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Re: Possible to start as a loner

Postby happydagger » Thu Apr 18, 2019 1:13 am

Maybe even before that, "who are you?"
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Re: Possible to start as a loner

Postby 951145 » Fri Apr 19, 2019 1:55 am

happydagger wrote:Maybe even before that, "who are you?"

what is this even asking? you want my name and address?
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Re: Possible to start as a loner

Postby Humanoutofelement » Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:46 am

Honestly, it's possible but going to be very difficult. I'm a loner also and not having a lot of experience definitely hurts... you're basically learning from scratch. Yes reading the articles on here helps, but you still have to apply the information and remember it. So you're probably going to fail a lot when you're just starting out. Hopefully you'll learn from your mistakes and things will start to click eventually. If you're autistic, it's going to be even more difficult because so much of this stuff is reading social cues and understanding the situation and deciphering what her words and actions actually mean.
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Re: Possible to start as a loner

Postby ray_zorse » Sun Apr 21, 2019 8:40 am

I think he meant an authentic matchmaking experience, not autistic? Although I guess it can be read both ways since the lack of social ability could imply autism?

There's a very good passage in Chase's e-book about this, I forget the exact wording but it says something like this: "You KNOW you are a good guy. So if you just be yourself and get rejected a lot, then it's her loss because you are a good guy, right?" and the answer is "not really -- she rejected you, but it's not because she's stupid, it's because your VALUE was not ACCESSIBLE to her". So basically if you're aiming to skip anything resembling pickup and just be your authentic self and get girls, it won't work straightaway. You have to be your BEST self, that doesn't mean faking it, it means understanding what women value in a man, and showing that value. In Chase's e-book, it goes into a lot of different kinds of value, and how you can both increase your value and let her become aware of your value (in ways that are not too obvious).

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