Social Proof v. Friend Zone

happydagger

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 12, 2019
Messages
17
I have spontaneously developed a group of female friends at a karaoke event I like to go to. One of them in particular I found attractive, and she started to welcome me with a pretty deep and sexy hug every time I met her. She was always with the same guy who I assumed was her boyfriend, and gradually I started interpreting the hug as more of a friend zone neutering rather than anything positive. I decided to end of the hugging habit and distanced myself a little bit. This felt like the right move, but I'm also wondering if I might have been gaining anything in terms of social proof by just going along with the hugging habit. To another female, it could have made me appear somewhat preselected in this group. Interested in your take on this. What would a master pua have done?
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
You made a thread asking about a hug? Come on man, doesn't that sound a little silly to you?

It sounds like you're not approaching enough women. If you were constantly approaching a shit ton of women, you wouldn't care about this and it wouldn't matter.

To answer your question, if (when) I meet pretty girls who aren't into me sexually but want to be friends, then I friendzone them. Invite her to join you the next time you go out and to be your wingman!
 

happydagger

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 12, 2019
Messages
17
Hey Elder!

I guess I should interpret the first half of your post as a kind of generosity as you selflessly share your impulse to belittle the minor detail of a hug, followed by a diagnosis of my approach frequency. I should be grateful even to receive a reply at all, I suppose. But then the second half of your reply shows that you misunderstand the topic itself. This is not a post about what to do about friendzoning. This is I think a deeper and more important question about the tension between relationships that may serve the good of social proof versus those that serve the no mans land of the friend zone. Much more interested in replies that touch (or even hug) that question ;)

HD

PS: this is the beginners forum, isn't it?
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
happydagger said:
Hey Elder!

I guess I should interpret the first half of your post as a kind of generosity as you selflessly share your impulse to belittle the minor detail of a hug, followed by a diagnosis of my approach frequency. I should be grateful even to receive a reply at all, I suppose. But then the second half of your reply shows that you misunderstand the topic itself. This is not a post about what to do about friendzoning. This is I think a deeper and more important question about the tension between relationships that may serve the good of social proof versus those that serve the no mans land of the friend zone. Much more interested in replies that touch (or even hug) that question ;)

HD

PS: this is the beginners forum, isn't it?
My reply did touch on that question. A "master pua" wouldn't weigh social proof vs. friend zone. A "friend zone" only exists where you have a girl you really want to have a sexual relationship with, but she only sees you as a friend, and then you let that haunt you, hence the "zone." A master pua isn't capable of being haunted like this. Why? Because he lives in abundance. If he approaches girls that aren't interested in a sexual relationship, he moves on and approaches more girls until he finds ones that are. If the girls he previously approached don't want to have sex with him but do want to be friends with him, hug him, hang out with him, whatever, then he'll accept. Why? Because friendships are good. Not just for pickup. But generally speaking. Friends = good lol. In the case of pickup, yes, females friends provide social proof and preselection, and they can even be great wingmen.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
HD Lighten up....

Now in this group of women do you want to keep them as friends? Or would you be willing to potentially alienate them with an unrequited approach ?

If the huggy one got drunk and wanted to take you back to her place and get naked are you going to go along with it?

My point is how do you SEE them? Rectify that in your mind and then act accordingly. One girl friend zoning you is only harmful to your SMV if it is obvious you are pursuing her and she rejects your advances publicly. I have a female friend I see weekly that people thought I was dating...It gets women noticing when she runs up squealing and gives me a monkey hug. Especially when you act like it is no big deal. Being able to socialize with women without being love struck by the first cleavage you see is an awesome feeling of power....
 

jakesykes949

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
54
You're splitting hairs. The best way to get out of the friend zone is to actually fuck her dude, lol.

The main thing is you want to demonstrate alpha male characteristics in the friend group.

Things like:
-Taking the lead
-Protecting the women
-Assertiveness
-Decisiveness
-Confidence
-etc.

If I were you, I'd just try to isolate her and fuck her ASAP. Invite her to hang out some time, and just make your move. Even if she declines your advances, you're still 10x more of a man in her eyes, and she'll probably help hook you up with some of the other girls in the social circle.
 

happydagger

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 12, 2019
Messages
17
OK i'm getting some helpful information from these replies. Thank you! It does seem like part of this comes down to my mental game and ability to dictate the frame. I think my impulse to distance was related to feeling like I might be in danger of becoming or looking like an "orbiter" around this chick. This comes back to my original question related to friend zoning and social proof. It seems that no social proof will come if you are turned into an orbiter or friend zoned. My deciding to distance myself was a primitive way of trying to take back the frame somehow. It sounds to me like the suggestions here are to take back the frame in a more active way by interacting in ways that demonstrlate more alpha characteristics. I think there have already been a few suggestions that are helpful in this regard, and I'm also open to more ways of taking back the frame if anyone has any thoughts. Thanks again!

HD
 
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