Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR



Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Dec 29, 2018 2:28 pm

Hey GC board,

I’m posting here for the first time. Mostly because I am not quite where I want to be when it comes to women/seduction after leaving a 4 year LTR in April 2018. I remember having much better experiences of getting laid semi-consistently before this LTR, particularly around 2010-2011 and again 2013-2014 when I was actually living the single life. I love the articles on GC and would love to join this community and participate in some of the discussions.

Otherwise, my life is great: I started a new job that I love 2 months ago and I’m making six figures for the first time in my life. I fancy myself a world traveler (I’ve previously lived in Sweden and traveled much through Europe) and the job involves a lot of travel, right now in northeast USA, but hopefully internationally within a year or two. I am 31 years old, born in Puerto Rico, 5’7, 160 lbs, decent muscular build (always room for improvement).

In the 8 months I’ve been single since this relationship ended, I’ve only had sex TWICE (once with a horny MILF I took home directly from a salsa club, and the other in Mexico City with a woman I met online). However, I’ve taken FOUR other women home in those 8 months and each of those times was handed massive LMR that I wasn’t able to overcome. So, either I am very unlucky or I am doing something wrong. One of these women I am still working on: I believe she is evaluating me as a potential long term partner, and I’m not sure what the strategy should be with her since I'm not sure that is what I want right now (more on her later).

Here is what I believe I am doing right: Getting phone numbers and dates is easy. Most come through salsa/bachata dancing, since I’ve been dancing for ~10 years and thus can easily demonstrate value at these venues. Others come through meetup groups or online.

Once I get them out on the date though, I seem to be struggling with escalation, and recently had several dates with women rejecting my advances. In future posts my goal is to detail some of these interactions so I can get some feedback from people as to how to improve.

Another thing I STILL struggle with massively is day game. I was just at Whole Foods in the ethnic food aisle looking at some Indian cooking sauces, and suddenly I notice a cute woman standing about 1-2 meters away from me looking at some other items. I hear her mutter under hear breath “ugh, I hate cooking”. If this isn’t the clearest indication she wants to be approached, I don’t know what is – YET I BECAME PARALYZED and didn’t make the move. I need more accountability in these situations.

That is all for now. More to come. Thanks to everyone reading.

Científico
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:09 pm

Many things I could talk about but I will highlight one thing -

Today I had a very intriguing lunch ‘date’ with a woman I met from the ShapR app. This is essentially a professional Tinder, where you can network with both men and women by swiping right or left depending on if you want to meet them or not due to their professional/business background.

Not really an app I have for dating purposes (once I got a job interview through it), but occasionally you meet a woman on there for coffee or lunch that could spark into something more. This is precisely what happened today.
She escalated the entire process with me, from sending the first message, to giving me her phone number and suggesting the ‘date’. This despite us having completely non-overlapping professional backgrounds – I work for a research instrumentation company and she is a personal trainer. We meet at a cafe, I maintain strong eye contact with her and does ~70-80% of the talking about herself, with a wide range of topics.

I’m always wary of trying to escalate right away with women from a professional networking app rather than a dating app due to our paranoid dating society, the logistics were bad for escalation (café she picked was far from my apartment) and she mentioned having plans to meet up with another friend later, thus I decided to break it off after almost two hours of conversation and move on with the other stuff I had planned for the day. However, we parted with a hug + cheek kiss (something I borrow from Spanish culture in my social interactions with American females), and vague plans about going hiking at some indeterminate point in the future.

I will definitely be following up this one with a proper date in which I will lead and pick something with favorable logistics.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Jan 01, 2019 11:55 am

This NYE time was heavy when it came to the dancing and a multi-day event took place, with day workshops and evening parties. Sunday night, I met a particular woman that for some reason I was instantly attracted to. I’m not sure what it was about her that made her stand out – just a lovely Persian beauty with a great smile. She had two friends with her the entire time, who I made sure to have positive interactions with while she was dancing with other dudes. We danced several times that night, and I got her phone number with minimal conversation and no hesitation on her part.

Yesterday, I ran into her again multiple times during the day workshops and during the evening new years party, as I knew I would. Every time she was warm and happy to see me.

The final time I ran into her and her friends it was after midnight. She was nursing her feet from all the dancing and complaining about blisters, with her shoes off, and saying she would probably leave soon. I grabbed a chair and sat down next to her, chit-chatted for a little bit about dancing, hobbies, and my story about why I recently moved into this city for my new job. Danced with her friends, came back and convinced her to dance with me on the carpet with her shoes off (showing concern for her feet).

The final time we parted, I did the cheek kiss and she responded with a loud MUAH and a grin on her face :). Here is where later I doubted myself, thinking maybe I should have tried to escalate further despite the presence of her friends and others.

Regardless, this one seems like she has a solid interest level and it will be put to the test now with me trying to get her out on a date. Work related travel means I will be unavailable almost the entire week of Jan 7th, thus I will accelerate my normal timeline with some text game and try to get her out Friday or Sat.

Besides her, I have three other numbers from this week I am interested in converting into dates – another dancer, the woman from the networking app, and another woman I recently number-closed online. At least one of these will bite and I will almost certainly have a date within the week.

Científico
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:56 pm

Today I decided, almost on a whim, after lunch to start texting this Persian princess from last night and see if I could schedule a date this week before my work travel schedule takes off.
She responded immediately. Below is the exchange:

Científico: Hey Persian Princess (PP),
Great dancing with you!! That was a successful end to 2018 don’t you think? How are your feet feeling today?

PP: Hiii. I agreeee. What an epic night. This entire weekend feels like a dream to me. I’m still in bed. Lol everything hurts. That means success. How about you?

Científico: A bit of a slow start today for sure :D.

At this point, I text her some pictures I found of us taking one of the workshops together, followed by the ‘look’ emoji with the two eyes.

PP: Niiice

PP: How did you get them?

Científico: There are some pictures floating around on FB

PP: Can you send the link?

Científico: *Send instructions for how to find the album*

PP: Omg thank you I’m looking at them



At this point I pause for a short while (1-2 hours), knowing that the above exchange was a good ‘icebreaker’ and the next time I open I have to ‘go in for the kill’ and ask for the date. I do so the following way:

Científico: Excellent!!

Científico: So, let’s get some food this week before my work travel schedule gets crazy Jan 7th. Do you eat?

PP: (responds immediately) Boy do I eat? I eat like a shark

Científico: *laugh/cry emoji* I will have to be careful then (took me a few minutes to come up with this response, since I recognized the opportunity to throw in some subtle sexual innuendo after she says she ‘eats like a shark)

Científico: What day is good for you before Sat Jan 5th?


*RADIO SILENCE, ALMOST 2.5 HOURS HAVE PASSED*

This ladies and gentlemen is why I hate asking out via text and typically do it via phone call. On the phone, they must respond immediately and it’s much harder for them to say no directly, whereas she has the freedom to delay responding or ignore a text message. It’s very difficult to get a sense of what happened via text. I suspect it may have been the response to her last text - she may not have been prepared for the subtle sexual innuendo, meaning I probably didn't do a good enough job escalating some kind of sexual tension during all my interactions with her the previous 48 hours. At this point if she decides not to respond at all, unclear how I can/should reengage. Probably by giving her a proper phone call and asking her out again in a week or so. Suggestions welcome.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:07 am

Well of course my negativity about Persian Princess was a bit premature. The interaction continued and I went on a date with her. This is something I will convert into a field report to see if I can get some feedback on how it went.
She did respond about 4 hours later, 1.5 hours after I posted the previous entry. Her reply was the following:

PP: Hi sorry for the delay. I think I got sick and slept all day. Still not feeling ok.
PP: I’d love to have some food with you however…quick question…is this a date?
Científico: Haha. Good question. :)
Científico: It might be if you play your cards right
Científico: Also: we are going to a place with good vegan options


Note: I am vegan and I threw this in as extra info to change the subject a bit but also to ‘assume the sale’.

Then she responds with the following essay:

PP: Hahaha. I’m a fierce believer of communication so there’s little to no room for misunderstanding so no one feels disappointed or resentful. I’d love to go for food with you with no expectations. I’d like to know you and I’m sure we’ll end up running to each other wherever we go dancing. I’m a bit hesitant to go on dates with my dance partners just because if it doesn’t work out it makes something as enjoyable as dancing a bit awkward and has potential for getting dramatic. I dance to decompress and love the people I dance with like my dance family. If you are ok with this then let’s get some vegan food. I know a bunch of good one’s around
.

My response.

Científico: Oh deary me aren’t you good at making this complicated :)
Científico: I am incapable of resentment and completely drama-free, ESPECIALLY with other dancers, for precisely the reasons you outlined. ;)
Científico: I’ll be doing a happy hour for German speakers on Sat and would love to meet up with you after, if you are available. (Unless you also want to Deutsch sprechen!)
Científico: Can do tomorrow as well
PP: lol I don’t speak German
Científico: Never too late to start learning a new language ;)
PP: Haha, I’m still struggling with EngRish. Tomorrow works for me
PP: You like Ethiopian?
Científico: I sure do, and it’s been a while. Sounds like you have a place in mind?
PP: Ethiopian food is one of my faves. Yes there’s one on XYZ Street called ABC.
Científico: Looks great! Shall we say 7 pm?
PP: Works for me :) . See you tonight


At this point I was mildly pleased at navigating those shit tests, but knew I problably had my work cut out for me to get to any point with this one. It’s clear from the texts she is at least curious about me, enough to go on the date, but highly skeptical as well. I knew I would have be on TOP of my game to achieve anything here.

Honestly: I believe her concerns are totally valid. No woman wants to go on a date with a dude that will end up being weird, stalkerish, abusive, and then have to see them again in venues she frequents. I knew it was my job NOT to be that guy and to try to convey that in any way possible.

Tonight I go to the date. The restaurant she picked was upscale, and about a 25-30 min drive from my apartment. I decide to drive rather than take public transit to make things logistically easier just in case I’m able to change venues to her place or mine.

One thing I will also note is that I am recently thinking of changing my approach – up till now I had been focusing on simply trying to escalate physically with a kiss close at every date and it has gotten me nowhere with most women (some exceptions as always). Instead of going for the kiss, I decided that starting with this date and others going forward I would instead propose a venue change to her place or mine and then once this occurs escalate physically at a time of my choosing. This was the first date I attempted this.

I walk in and she is already there waiting for me. Conversation flows naturally. Even though I have gone on a lot of dates, I am in my 30’s and have already hooked up with a fair amount of women, I still get a bit nervous when I am having dinner with a woman I am highly attracted to and sometimes that leads to mental distraction. Some jokes she made I didn’t laugh at, not because they weren’t funny, but rather because I was mentally distracted and not present in the moment.

Crucial moments in the convo were: me probing for logistics (where she lives, roomates, etc, and also that she took uber to the restaurant and would need a ride back), and also finding out she is an occasional cannabis user (I am too, infrequently). Turns out she lives on the way back home so I took that mentally as an option to try to invite myself back to her pace.
At the end of the dinner and when I knew we were more or less finished, I said the following:

Científico: Want to get out of here?
PP: Sure
Científico: I know of a place where the drinks are cheap, the music is great, and there is cannabis.
PP: REALLY? Where is that? Are we in Amsterdam now or something? (big grin on her face)


Now, here is where I problably screw up. Instead of simply leading and saying “you’ll find out”, I answer matter of fact, and it leads to SOMETHING like this exchange (can’t remember exact dialogue):

Científico: My apartment
PP: Oh no we can’t do that.
Científico: (smiling) why not? I have my car right here. I’ll drive.
PP: I’m not going all the way back to (Científico’s town)
PP: Why don’t we go to xyz bar instead down the street?
Científico: Okay


We walk out of the restaurant after paying, to put my leftovers in the car. By the time we get to my car she is freezing from the cold, it’s easy to convince her to just get in, and let me drive (isn’t it amazing how environment changes people’s minds so easily?)

Initially she agrees to go back to her place, and gives me an address close to her (NOT EXACTLY the one she lives, because she “doesn’t know me”). However, as we are arriving I do a TERRIBLE parallel park job (fuck, this never happens except this time it did lol) and I’m mentally distracted again, conversation dies off a bit, and she changes her mind and leads me to a bar RIGHT next to where she lives.

Oh well. I follow her in, and we get a round, and I pay. At this bar, something on the wall ends up leading our conversation deep into unsexy topics like geopolitics, in which I give my honest opinion on a number of issues. At this point, I knew chances of sex were slim, didn’t care and allowed her to see that side of me. Then it switched back to dancing (with me transitioning: I would rather be dancing with cute bachateras like you than worrying about this stuff), and she gets up close and shows me some videos on her phone. At one point I attempt to tease her:

Científico: Well, we could be back at your place practicing this, but we can’t practice at this bar
PP: Hey stop pushing me about my choice
Científico: I’m not pushing. Just stating a fact (smiling)
Científico: Maybe next time if you’re lucky (then I lean in and kiss her on the cheek)
PP: Fine be that way (slight smile).


I don’t get another round, we agree to call it a night, I go to the bathroom (she waits), then I walk her the final 10 meters to her apartment.

Científico: I had a great time, let’s do this again
PP: Let’s, maybe we can go dancing next time
Científico: *lingers a bit close to her face*
PP: I don’t kiss on the first date and we are NOT dating
Científico: That was a fancy place for something that wasn’t a date
PP: It was VEGAN!
Científico: *Kisses her on the cheek again* See you next time.


And that’s a wrap. I drive home contemplating what happened. I believe I did a lot of things right but some things wrong. I believe just need to get better at handling objections and staying focused, and not letting temporary setbacks distract me. This one may be a lost cause at this point since I failed to close to deal, and with so many other women out there I will problably put this one on the back burner and invite her out to whatever venues I frequent, just to be friendly with her. I will always be warm toward her for sure, since I am determined not to provide any justification to her concerns about 'going on dates with other dancers'.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:42 pm

Well when it rains it pours I guess. After the unsatisfying experience with PP yesterday, both of the dates I had lined up for this weekend fell through.

1.) Tonight I was supposed meet up with the Argentinian dancer (mentioned in the first post) that I have been seeing for several dates but haven’t had sex with yet due to LMR last time she was here, that I wasn’t properly prepared to handle. She had been displaying interest to meet up again and we had a chat on the phone the other day, when she agreed to go into the city tonight with me.

This afternoon at about 1:40 pm I send a text telling her to park around my apartment building so I can teach her how to use the metro (she had joked before that she doesn’t know how to use the metro).

Well, as I write this post at 8:15 pm there is no response and she hasn’t even viewed the text, according to my phone. This kind of flaky behavior from her isn’t completely abnormal – one time I even made alternative plans on her when we were supposed to hang out and late into the evening she hadn’t figured out her plans. She’s crossed the line now, and I’ll problably gently call her out, tell her I like having people in my life that respect my time rather than take it for granted, and close the door on this one. Plenty of other women that won’t behave this way.

2.) Tomorrow I was supposed to meet up with the hot personal trainer (HPT) that connected with me on the professional networking app and I met in person for coffee once before (mentioned in a previous entry). Around ten Wednesday night (01/03), I decide to give her a call. She answers.

Científico: Hey is this HPT?
HPT: Yes this is she.
Científico: Did I catch you at a good time?
HPT: Well Im about to go get groceries but its okay.
HPT: What is your availability to catch up tomorrow?


At this point Im taken back a bit by how fast she decided she wanted to try to schedule something – she didn’t even give me a chance to ask her how her new year festivities went - but it goes back to her personality as a rare female go-getter that I originally saw from her first interactions with me on the app (sending first message, giving me phone number without me asking, setting up the meet herself).

Científico: Actually Im a bit busy tomorrow. In fact the only day I have free until later next weekend is Saturday *laughs*. Are you available to go on a short hike with me that day? Nothing serious.
HPT: I think so, but it has to be later in the afternoon since I have a meeting at 1 pm. Maybe 3 pm but that doesn’t give us enough time?
Científico: We’ll see, I will touch base with you that day and see what is going on with you and the weather.


At this point conversation turns into small talk about what she did in NYE for a few minutes, and I let her go after that. Conversation lasted less than five minutes.

But see my mistake? ‘Touching base’ is NOT locking in a date, merely suggesting one.

Today I check the weather – very unfavorable tomorrow for any outdoor activity. Thus I decide to text her:

Científico: Hey HPT, weather is not looking at all favorable for any outdoor activity tomorrow. Makes me miss California.
Científico: Let’s go get some vegan food instead? Let me know. Happy Friday.
HPT: Hey Científico, I actually had something pop up and won’t be able to meet up tomorrow.


And that’s it. No follow up, counteroffer, or humor, or anything. Learned my lesson here to always close to deal and actually lock something in instead of leaving it open-ended. Dumb mistake! I actually immediately recognized it right after the conversation ended on Wednesday, and yet I thought she might leave the time slot open for me anyway. I thought wrong.

Eventually I reply

Científico: Another day. Enjoy your weekend ahead.


Maybe will follow up and try again in 2-3 weeks time or so, if I feel like it. Can't help but feel I blew this one though - what kind of woman wants to hook up with a dude that can't properly ask her out the first time? Now, it will be a weekend consisting of my standard activities (dancing, happy hours) that allows me to meet more females. Have some online dating leads I could pursue also, and thankfully, in two weeks time I will meet up in Canada with my Mexican girlfriend I met several months ago that is guaranteed to lead to hot steamy sex (thank goodness).
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:25 am

Today I made some progress with day game, finally. Its actually not that hard once you convince yourself about how silly approach anxiety is. I’ve been in much more nerve-racking situations in my life and career that far surpass simply talking to a girl!

The first opportunity came today at a metro stop, while waiting for my next train on the way to the airport. This girl was very cute, and the situation was perfect for the approach (not many others around), and yet I froze and lost the opportunity. Realizing that this cannot continue, I resolved to seize the next chance.

It didn’t take long to present itself. During the security line at the airport, a cute Asian girl passed the line behind me, and she unloaded approx 10 packets of those asian seaweed snacks onto one of the trays to pass through the x-rays. These were a favorite of my ex-girlfriend, who was of Thai origin. I opened:

Científico: Wow, those are a lot of seaweed snacks!
Her: Yeah I know my mother bought them for me even though I didn’t want them!
Científico: Where do you get those? They are delicious!
Her: There is xyz store in abc town
Científico: Great, I remember that place!
Científico: So, where are you off to today
Her: Boston
Científico: Hey, I’m going to Boston too!
Her: What are you doing there? Do you go there a lot?


At this point I am pleased at how the interaction is going. She is invested in the conversation, as it shows with her starting to ask me questions about my plans. However she is now through the line and I am still waiting for my bag to be inspected by TSA. Thus I ask her which gate her flight is leaving from and tell her I’ll catch up to her later. Once I’m through security I find her at her gate, sit down right next to her, and make some more small talk. She would not give out her number saying she was dating someone pretty seriously, but overall I was pleased with myself.

Women are everywhere and you can meet them anywhere, all it takes is having the balls to simply make the approach.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:11 pm

This is a field report I never expected to be writing, but it just goes to show you that always one must expect the unexpected and be ready for anything. Sometimes the perfect opportunity simply presents itself like it did for me yesterday.

I found myself with a free day yesterday at one of my work trips in a new city, since my customer visit fell through. I ended up walking around downtown, getting lunch by myself at a café and looking around at the people around me – thinking to myself “this is a perfect day to practice some cold approaching”.

In the café as I am finishing my lunch, I see a very nice looking lady with bright red lipstick reading a book by herself that I wanted to meet. This is an approach I do not make for whatever reason – paralysis set in and I exited the café, thinking later to myself “you miss 100% of the shots you do not take”.

I go into the public library to find a place to sit and answer some work emails. Seating is sparse, but then I spot a stunning latina writing something, sitting by herself at a table with one extra chair and I immediately seize this opportunity. She has ear buds in both ears, but I go right up to the table and ask if I can sit. She takes off her earbuds and says “sure”.

I sit myself down and take a few minutes to answer 1-2 emails. But then I look over at this woman and notice she hasn’t put back in one of her earbuds, meaning for some reason she wants to be more aware of her surroundings ;).
I open and ask how her day is going. She responds with a smile “great, and yours?”. Immediately I can tell Spanish is her primary language, so I switch to Spanish (I’m from Puerto Rico, thus fluent – all dialogue is translated from original Spanish), and ask her what she is doing in the city we were in. She is on vacation from Colombia. Some more small talk occurs, back and forth, until I propose we get a coffee at a local shop. She immediately accepts and we walk out together.

At this new café seating is also sparse, thus after getting our lattes we grab some seats together close and nearly facing each other (no table). Conversation happens about a variety of topics, from her life in Colombia, her travel plans, veganism, and dancing. During the conversation she is leaning very far towards me, playing with her hair, almost has a dreamy look in her eyes and face --- this woman is CLEARLY interested and sending me the most obvious signs, and she is beautiful as she is doing it.

At this point I could hardly believe what was happening. How is it that I ended up with this opportunity, interacting with this beautiful creature I just met 30 minutes ago at a library? I decide to try to escalate. As we are talking about dancing, I propose a dance lesson in my hotel room (lol). She looks at me slyly and says:

Hot Colombian (HC): we know what is going to happen if we go back to your hotel room.
Científico: Oh really, whats that? I’m just going to give a dance lesson (grin).
HC: yeah right


Then I go in and kiss her. She wasn’t expecting it and hardly kisses back. But afterwards her body language does not change – she is still playing with her hair and leaning into me, making eye contact with that dreamy look in her eyes.
Conversation continues about other topics. I talk about the fact that I taught myself German and teach her a few phrases, including “it’s great to meet you”. She responds to this in the most sensual way “the pleasure is all mine”. I touch her face with my hand in response, but don’t kiss this time. After a pause she proposes going for a walk and I accept.

We walk out of the café, hand in hand. We end up in a public park after walking with no particular aim, still talking about various subjects. The park is nearly empty due to the cold weather, and I tell her it’s a perfect spot for her dance lesson. As we start, she hardly gives me any space as she stands before me, again with that dreamy look.

I go in for the kiss again, but this time pause about an inch from her face. She closes the rest of the distance and kisses me, passionately.

This insta-date goes on for about 4 hours, with lots of touching, kisses, sensual and romantic play. We walk around the park some more, go to the mall, and then a bar for a round of drinks. There were moments that the conversation simply died off, and I just looked into the eyes of the gorgeous vixen in front of me, caressing her legs, hands, arms, face, back – often with more kissing.

I attempted to close back to my hotel room 2 more times but each time she refused, saying she had a dinner appointment at 5 pm with “un amigo” (i.e., a male friend).

I also have a dinner commitment with someone (my cousin), thus I propose we meet up afterwards. Here is where it gets interesting. She states that its possible but she cant make me any promises. She wont exactly specify why, which is interesting, and I essentially played it cool and tried not to be too probing. There was also an urgency aspect I tried to play, since after yesterday our schedules no longer align and its unlikely I would see her again for a very long time. This was made clear to her. I told her I was confident I would see her that night since we enjoyed each other so much, and she responded “we’ll see”.

When the time finally came for us to part, she plants another hard, passionate kiss, then walks down the stairs to the metro and doesn’t look back.

I go to the gym and lift some weights at my hotel, meet up with my cousin, and around 8 pm text her:

NOTE: All texts in original Spanish, my English translation in parenthesis:

Científico: Hola, Pienso terminar con mi primo ~9, cual es tu estatus? (Hey Im thinking about finishing up with my cousin around 9, what’s your status?)


1.5 hours later…

HC: Todo va de maravilla (Everything is going marvelously.)


At this point, my cousin, who is actually decent with women (despite being a short dude of 5’3, actually has his own girlfriends scattered throughout Latin America), advises me to leave her alone since she is problably fucking another dude. He told me: best leave this one for your next trip to Colombia, and I bet she will text you tomorrow. I tended to agree with him, but just in case decide to give her a phone call 20 minutes after that text. No answer. Thus, I follow my cousins advice and leave her alone.

This morning, 8:30 am, I get a text, and we have the following exchange over a few hours:

HC: Buenos días (good morning)
Científico: Hola HC (hello HC)
Científico: Como estás tú esta mañana? (How are you this morning?)
HC: Muy bien ¿y tú? (very good and you?)
Científico: En camino a instalar un microscopio (on the way to install a microscope)
Científico: Vas a hacer algo divertido hoy? (are you doing something fun today?)
HC: Sí, creo que estaré ocupada toda la tarde, ¿tú? (Yes, I believe I will be occupied all afternoon. You?)
Científico: Que Bueno :) (very good :))
Científico: Como te dije ayer, esta instalación (y capacitación) durará todo el día (Like I told you yesterday, this install (and training) will take all day)
Científico: Mi vuelo sale a las 7 esta noche (My flight leaves at 7 tonight)
Científico: Diviértete hoy por mi (Have fun today for me)
HC: Será un placer (It will be a pleasure)


After this exchange, I go do my job, go to the airport afterwards, and don’t text her again. As Im sitting on the plane, 10 minutes before it takes off, I get this text:

HC: Buen vuelo :-* (Have a good flight :-*)


My response:

Científico: ;-) :-*


Conclusion? The game is still on, but who knows when and where I will see this one again. I don’t have time to travel to Colombia anytime soon and she goes back in two weeks. The next time I am in the city she is currently in, will be after she leaves. She KNEW this – and yet she chose to do something else last night, which is the interesting part.

This one was wild. Even though I didn’t get laid, I still consider this one a massive success. I’ve never had such a romantic interaction with such an incredible woman I randomly met at a public place like a library. A real confidence booster for sure, and proof that anything is possible.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:50 pm

Feeling emboldened after what happened with the hot colombian girl at the public library, today I did a cold approach I probably normally would not have done. It is as if I have a new energy to make these approaches now.

I was grabbing some food at my local neighborhood at one of these healthy yet fast-food places, and as I'm finishing up I see a woman of asian-complexion. I think "I'd like to meet this one". She is sitting by herself having a snack of pita bread and hummus. I go leave my tray and plate at the designated receptable, and turn towards her - she sees me and we make eye contact, and she looks away first. I knew at this moment it was now or never.

My feet start walking towards her even before my mind had made itself up to approach. It's as if an invisible person had started pushing me towards the objective. Before I knew it I was opening:

Científico: hey how are you doing today?
Her: Great, and you? (smiling - strong eye contact)
Científico: Well, we are expecting some wintry weather today and I'm still trying to figure out where I will go this evening. Yourself?


NOT the best reply - goes to show you you have to have this shit planned out in your mind, at least a little bit. That was too honest.

Her: Oh no! Well, Im going shopping today
Científico: Anything you are looking for in particular?
Her: Not really, I'll find something.
Científico: So you go shopping without an actual objective in mind?? (puzzled look)
Her: Yeah pretty much
Científico: Haha, well, how about instead of spending money, you come have a coffee with me instead?
Her: I kinda had this planned....
Científico: Ah well, how about you just give me your number and I will catch up with you later?
Her: I think I'm all set (still smiling)
Científico: No problem, enjoy your Saturday


A good start. Doing a few of those a day when opportunities come up, I am bound to get better, and find another girl like the Colombian at the library.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:34 am

Had a few leads from online websites disintegrate yesterday, probably because I tried to set up dates far in advance anticipating my busy travel schedule.
Note to self – when dealing with Tinder girls, one always has to move fast, thus don’t even bother reaching out if I’m not in their city for the week.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:34 pm

Below is a FR from a date I set up with a cute woman of afghan origin I have known for a while. Happened about 5-6 days ago but haven't had time to post it until now. This is one where I progressed somewhat and successfully invited myself back to her place despite her objections, but ran into a massive wall of LMR once at her place that I decided not to try to climb or break through. Some analysis on how I could have improved this interaction would be appreciated.

Story begins like this - once this woman found out months ago that I had a new job back on the east coast and I posted it on social media, she contacted me asking to get drinks once I’m in the area. This was back in October at some point – I know her from years back when I used to live in this general geographic part of the US.

I’m not exactly in her city and logistics suck (40 – 60 min drive from my place, depending on traffic), plus I have been super busy, thus now in January is when I actually get to her.

The other interesting thing is that at some point several years ago, probably in 2013, I actually did attempt to close back to my place with her from a dancing venue. I vaguely remember her smiling and looking flattered but refusing. Time for another shot, 5-6 years later ;).

On Sunday 1/13 I text her to set up the meet:

Científico: Hey Cute Afghan (CA), hope you are enjoying your Sunday. Did you do anything fun?
CA: Hi Científico, I’m doing well and enjoyed the day with a little run in the afternoon. How are you?
Científico: Great – I’m impressed you didn’t let the cold deter you from your run.
CA: Aww thanks, it wasn’t that cold though.
Científico: Great – hope you had fun 
Científico: Wanted to let you know that I have something in your town at the university on the 16th – want to do that after work drink that day? It’s a long time coming ;)
CA: Sure let’s meet up! I’m not far from there
Científico: *okay hand emoji*
CA: Let me know what time and where you would like to meet. If you are coming to the university I have some suggestions in the area
Científico: How about somewhere in xyz neighborhood? It has been years since the last time
CA: xyz neighborhood is great!
Científico: Agreed, lots of spots from my old grad school days we could check out.
Científico: I will get back to you re: time. Problably will be free mid afternoon/early evening. Don’t think this customer needs us the entire day.
CA: Okay sounds good looking forward to it :)


From that exchange I can tell the girl is interested. But, the logistics suck, as I mentioned, thus the strategy was to invite myself to HER place instead after about 1.5-2 hours of hanging out with her. The neighborhood I picked is in the general vicinity of the university, very walkable with lots of bars and restaurants.

Going into the date that day after work, I was very tired from a full day of work and sub-par sleep last night, and also conscious of the fact that I had an early apt the next morning. Nonetheless excited to meet this woman. Right before she meets, she says:

CA: Be there in 10-15 minutes
CA: I cant eat or drink anything. I need to rest my stomach all drinking last night. But I’m delighted to see you.


Perfect.

I sit down at the bar, get a beer, and wait. She shows up exactly when she says she will, looking cute with her glasses and decorative earrings. I take her hand right away, and do the European cheek-kiss as I usually do with females I am interested in now.

Most of the conversation at this first bar involves me getting to talk about herself (‘deep diving’), asking her plans, aspirations, etc.

After one round of drinks, we go outside for a walk – and here, I implement Seppuku’s ‘hand-holding’ technique for the first time ever to lead her to a certain place I thought was appropriate for a selfie, as a compliance-test. Her hand fits well in mine and she walks with me, possibly with some intrigue on her face at the fact that I took the hand so early.

I take the selfie, then I tell her I’m hungry and suggest a place to eat. She says sure (even though she earlier she didn’t want to eat, lol), and follows me to a nearby place for dinner. Waitress there wants to seat us at a table facing each other, and I was about to object and tell her that I would prefer to sit at the bar (to be side-by-side with her) – but then CA does this herself! Pleased at this, we order food, and continue conversation about various topics.

Here is where I probe for her logistics, and get the information that she lives by herself, no roommates or pets. Perfect.

I then find a good transition point to suggest going to her apartment (regarding music):

Científico: Well, I think you have been missing out on some of this new music that is coming out. Since you said you were having fun, why don’t we go back to yours, I can show you some of the new songs I’ve seen and you can make some tea? I want to beat the traffic back to my town and sober up before I start driving all the way back.


What follows are at least 3-4 different objections from her end, with my persistence/objection handling dismissing them:

CA: Well, I’m dating someone, and I don’t bring guys to my place.
Científico: Why is this relevant? Is there something on your mind? Let’s just listen to music and hang out. (trying to disqualify myself as BF here)


CA: Did you forget I’m from Afghanistan? We are very conservative
Científico: I don’t see you wearing a Burka nor are you part of the Taliban


CA: How about another time?
Científico: That might not be for a while, I travel a lot for work. Why not take advantage of the time we have now?


That last one seems to do it. Eventually with enough persisting she actually buys fully into the frame I am trying to set of going back to hers – saying “okay, it’s a good idea, I’ll make you tea” then making sure I have her address on my GPS before going back to her car. I follow her back, she directs me where to park, and takes me up to her place.

Once there, is where the problems start. I put on music and start to dance with her and attempt to pull her close, yet she pulls away in an attempt to keep her distance. Any attempt I make at getting even remotely physically close is met with significant resistance. I eventually do try to go in for a kiss, yet she turns her head, looks distressed and keeps repeating the same 3-4 excuses from above. Sometimes a good song would come up and I would try to pull her up from her sofa to dance, she would say she didn’t want to, I would persist and lead her, she would still say she didn’t, before giving in and dancing (and still keeping her distance - again, persistence works, but only to a degree with this woman).

Some interesting exchanges occur, in which for example she asks me about my ex girlfriend, and I tell her “That’s not important, you don’t have to compare yourself to my ex’s”, and she laughs and says “you’re funny”.

However, her wall of resistance is strong, and I am struggling about what to do. Continuing to persist with the intention of staying the night was not really an option given my early appointment in the morning and some materials I had to collect at home, a 50 minute drive away – honestly, poor planning on my part since I should have thought about the possibility of staying the night if I was actually going to succeed at inviting myself back to her place.

Eventually I decide to excuse myself, tell her I have to go to prepare for my appointment tomorrow (the truth), and prepare myself to leave. I honestly think I caught a hint of disappointment in her voice after I told her I was leaving – giving me the impression that her LMR was breakable had I stayed and warmed her up for at least a few hours.

I'm not particularly crazy about getting a second date with this particular woman - I prefer to start fresh with someone new, and my interest in her is lukewarm. However, this was a good learning experience at successfully inviting myself back to woman’s home and starting to deal with LMR in this situation. Lessons to apply the next time this occurs. Comments welcome...
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:34 pm

I just returned from a trip to Canada with my lady-friend that I met in Mexico City back in October (mentioned in the first post in this journal). As expected, two solid days (and three nights) of fun exploring a new location with lots of great sex multiple times per day. Honestly was exactly the rest and relaxation I needed. Couple of other things to mention.

i.) Before the flight to Canada at the airport a nice looking woman journalist happened to take a seat next to me at the waiting area. Before even thinking about it I opened her and chatted with her quite a bit – she was friendly and open to the conversation, though resisted me taking her contact info and I didn’t push it too much due to the poor logistics of actually dating her (she lived in Canada). Looking back, I problably could have pushed this a little bit as I got a sense she would have been receptive (gave me a killer smile everytime I talked to her), and left the possibility open for a visit in the future. Just didn’t seem like high priority at the time.

ii.) The hot Colombian I met at the library the other week has been communicating with me via whatsapp nearly everyday. We almost coincided as her flight back to Colombia and my flight back to the city she is currently in almost overlapped due to travel delays – we could have seen each other again at the airport had the stars aligned. But alas, it was not to be, and she is currently on her way back to South America. This is another woman I would love to follow up with at some indeterminate time in the future to see during my travels. Like the woman from Mexico City, it would be great to have this one as another international girlfriend in Latin America.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:29 am

Today I am once again travelling in a new city for work, and upon checking into my hotel had a great interaction with a gorgeous receptionist. She was friendly, asked me about my job, and we exchanged some personal details about each other (she told me she is studying nutrition, for example). After I went up to the room, worked out, and went back down for a snack, she beamed at me with her gorgeous smile and gave me the food for free.

However, I simply could not pull the trigger to get contact information. It was too awkward with her manager 3 meters away both times, a colleague next to her, and other guests in line behind me. I simply couldn't bear the awkwardness of asking to exchange contact info under such unfavorable circumstances likely to make her super uncomfortable. Does an experienced seducer do it anyway?

As I was turning away after she gave me the free snacks and she tended to the next hotel guest - it hit me: why not just slip her a business card? They have my cell on them, and this business card is the best looking one I've ever had after I got this job. Not the best solution of course since it puts the onus on the woman to initiate the first contact - but better than nothing, and if she actually does initiate, I know she is REALLY interested. I will carry a few in my normal wallet from now on for these situations, and I have until Saturday at this hotel to at least pull this maneuver if I cant get her cell number the normal way.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Jan 26, 2019 6:18 pm

I am still struggling quite a lot with approach anxiety when it comes to cold approach, ESPECIALLY when it’s on the street. I am embarrassed to admit I still have NOT done a single street approach. It seems to be easier in cafes, bookstores, libraries, etc – there I can have a seat next to the girl as if I have another purpose to be there (and often I do). Approaches in bars and nightclubs are a piece of cake and I walk away with numbers easily. Then, why is it so difficult to approach a woman on the street?

I even let golden opportunities get away from me sometimes. A few days ago, I made eye contact with a woman walking on the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Her eyes blinked fast and she smiled. DID NOT APPROACH and walked right past her. Then, two days ago, I was walking home at 1 am, cold and needed to take a piss, and a cute woman makes eye contact, comes right up to me and asks me for directions. I could have helped her in some way, tried to develop a relationship or charm her, and instead all I can muster is “sorry, I have no idea”.

I’m only writing this down to document how shameful it is to let these chances pass me by. Tomorrow the forecast calls for clear skies – this is the day I do my first cold approach on the street with a woman I like – no more excuses.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Jan 27, 2019 3:15 pm

As I promised myself, today I made my first cold approach on the street. I'm writing it down here for documentation purposes.

I actually did have an errand to run (needed to buy a new carry-on bag for my travels), thus I went out to the local mall close to where I live (within walking distance), in my current 'home-base' town. The other purpose of this trip of course, to do at least one cold approach on the street, either on the way there or on the way back.

Weather was not as sunny as I hoped. I go outside and start walking, and believe it or not, I make it to the mall without seeing a single a female I was excited enough about to approach. It was very strange! Almost as if the universe conspires against me when I am finally ready and dead-set on approaching, I see no one to approach. I make it into the store, get my new carry-on, and walk out of the mall without this situation changing. I am back on the street on a busy street corner with lots of shops around me - I figure if I wait long enough someone I want to approach will eventually make an appearance.

Eventually, she did. It was an older latina woman, problably in her 40's, looking hot in a bright red coat. I see her on the other side of the street, and make up my mind to approach within 10 seconds, but she walks into a clothing store. Unsure if I should follow her in, I linger outside for a few minutes, thinking if I should just move on. Problably would not have lasted outside for more time than this - and yet, she exits the store very quickly and I see her again, and begins to cross. This is my chance.

Científico: Hey there. How are you today?
Woman: Hello! I'm great and yourself?
Científico: Oh, was just running an errand, but I saw you looked great in that red jacket and had to come talk to you. I'm Científico.


It was that easy. That second sentence came out with a slight stutter, since I was nervous, but I'm hoping this sillyness improves overtime. The initial part of the conversation had me alternating between English and Spanish - since I knew from her face she was latina. She seemed more comfortable with English. First we talked a little about her history - she is originally from El Salvador but has lived in the USA for decades. We then talked about where I bought the carry-on - she remarked that that store has great deals. Then I asked her why she was out and about today. Interestingly enough, she told me she was about to meet a gentleman from Match.com, and that it was probably the guy on the other side of the street carrying a bouquet of flowers! I looked over and sure enough, there was an older man with white hair and a bald patch holding a bouquet of white flowers, looking around. I decide to try to close before she walks over to him.

Científico: Well, why don't we exchange cells and meet up later
Woman: Yeah, you seem like a fun guy. Give me a piece of paper with your number on it.
Científico: Well, I don't have any pen or paper. Let's just trade cells the normal way
Woman: Well I don't want him to see me doing that. We'll just leave it at this then.


She starts to walk away and I let her. It's possible I could have handled that a little differently and walked away with a phone number, either by pressing a bit more on the phone number, or actually remembering to have a business card in my wallet (I had put them in after the hotel receptionist exchange, but of course ended up handing all of them out and forgetting to put more in).

But, success. First street approach made. And it felt good afterwards. Cheers to many more in the future.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Jan 28, 2019 11:00 pm

Recently I finished reading both of Tony D's books about day game. I find them to give me a very empowering mindset I didn't have before - the ability to approach a woman you like when you see her during the day is powerful and opens a lot of doors. Despite a lot of heavy flaking from women lately I feel very positive.

Yesterday I did two more cold approaches - one was at a metro stop in which I ended up talking to the girl for 30 minutes, closed with her number before she exited the train at her stop. It was flawless. And she replied to my initial icebreaker text with "it was a pleasure to meet you". But then, no response to the follow up text I sent this morning. It's amazing how often women flake on you.

I have several leads from my home city that have all flaked with my text game, so problably Wednesday I will give them all proper phone calls, and the ones that answer will get a date during the weekend when I am back in town. I think I grow tired of text game that goes nowhere when my voice over the phone is much better, and most guys don't call so the guy that does stands out. I need to transition back to what has worked in the past for me - which is setting up dates over the phone instead of via text.

I talked to both my lady friends in latin america over the phone today - the colombian I met at the library continues her romantic banter over whatsapp, as well as my lady friend from Mexico City that I saw last week. It's a perfect situation that I hope to continue, and since I love travel, will continue to add to my roster of international lovers (and ideally, in different US cities as well).
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Thu Jan 31, 2019 6:33 pm

My work-travel has taken me to many locales around DC, Philadelphia, and Boston. Tonight I am finishing up a three day, three night stint in one of these cities. My strategy when I am in each location has been to go out and meet women, either with the goal of an insta-date and same-night lay (ideal), or getting phone numbers for follow ups for the next time I visit the location so I have some women I can contact for dates.

It has been damn cold here during the time I have been here (well below freezing, windy, some precipitation), thus I have pysched myself out from cold approaching for the most part. There have been a few opportunities I have recognized but haven't taken (for example, a girl on the metro today made eye contact with me and raised her eyebrows - I said "how is it going" as I was walking past and made weak eye contact - she did not engage because of my timidness). It really does take a LOT of re-programming to be able to cold approach consistently and with full intention. This is something I really need to work on.

First night I arrived around 6 pm, checked into my hotel, then took off to find food. Did one approach inside of a casual eatery with a woman sitting by herself eating her dinner. She was just barely over my attractiveness threshold for a woman I would consider hooking up with, but I figured she would be good practice. She was friendly and we had a good conversation, best part was when I teased her slightly about her very mild southern accent. Also here on business thus seemed like a perfect opportunity for a casual hook up, if she was interested. When I attempted to close for her contact information however she flatly denied me with a straight up, immediate "no thanks". I didn't persist.

The next day I worked with a customer for half the day then had most of the afternoon off. Went to the hotel gym, and the cold windy weather kept me from approaching outside as stated above. However, I had a good night planned out involving three events right after the other: a meetup for spanish speakers, meeting a woman for dinner that I only had partial interest in seducing, then dancing and meeting more women.

The spanish meetup was fantastic - I arrived and there were something like 8 women and 2 men - and the 2 men were not confident in their spanish at all and very timid. Thus I had zero male competition as I conversed with all these ladies. I could only stay about an hour to go to my next appointment (dinner with my female friend), but left the place with three numbers - one from the organizer which is useful simply for networking purposes (but no interest in seducing), and two from women I actually would like to take out on dates. The dinner appointment with my female friend (who I met last time I was here at a dance venue) was fun, and I believe she may have been interested, but I think she lost interest in me as she realized I wasn't going to escalate. Then, later on the evening I obtained two more numbers from two other women I met at the dancing venue. Thus grand total of four numbers from women I would like to seduce, not bad for one evening, although at no time during the evening did I invite a woman home for a same-night lay due to what I perceived as poor chances of success due to the social pressure the women would face (being around friends). There was one woman I likely could have tried it with, with some reasonable non-zero chance since she was out by herself, but opted for the number instead. I should probably get more accustomed to taking the chance in these situations instead and simply asking if she wants to come home.

This morning I sent icebreaker texts to all four and all four have responded! Not too bad. My strategy was to try to get one out on a date today (due to the fact that I am leaving tomorrow and wont come back for several weeks) but it appears uncertain that will happen with any of them. I'll have to save them for follow ups for the next time I am here, and focus on obtaining even more numbers and contacts tonight.

Things I am currently struggling with:
1.) Really getting in the right mindset to consistently cold approach. I know I can do it since I have had successful number closes, and one insta date, from cold approach recently. But, I still psyche myself out quite often too.
2.) I should probably get more into the habit of inviting women I meet home or back to my hotel more consistently rather than going for the number, when the situation calls for it. I need to be able to identify these situations better and make more attempts - if I don't attempt it, I will never get it!
3.) Significantly cut back on the masturbation by about 50-75% and increase my amount of exercise by 30-40%, as it help motivate me with 1-2.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Feb 03, 2019 12:06 pm

Interesting few days.

Thursday 1/31 - was out at a dancing venue and met this really gorgeous half bolivian/half puerto rican woman who was extremely receptive to my advances. There were plenty of targets at this venue, and the old Científico would have been just fine collecting numbers in the hopes of getting some of them out on dates later. But not this time. This time I decided to pull this woman I met to another location for an insta-date. And lo and behold, she accepted! (as an aside, I couldn't help but notice another woman I danced with seeing me put my coat on and giving me a "why the fuck are you leaving so early?" look. I ignored it).

Unfortunately for me, I screwed it up in various ways. First, she may have been receptive to going straight to my hotel room if I had done it right off the bat CORRECTLY, perhaps by building a little bit more rapport and establishing a sexual mood at the same place then attempting to pull, but instead I accepted her suggestion of going to a different bar after my "want to get out of here?" proposal. Then the problems mount after this. We couldn't decide if we wanted to use her car or my car, and had trouble locating her car, then I timidly accepted her proposal for ME to drive HER car (establishing her as the one in charge). My car was just slightly further away but we should have gone for this anyway just to continue to hold my frame as a dominant, no-nonsense guy.

We get to the other venue and I attempt a manhandle kiss inside her car. She complaints a little bit about not kissing her friends, and doesn't kiss back very much, but she also doesn't resist that much. We dance at the other venue exclusively with each other. But then another fuck-up ---- I left my tab open at the other bar! I tell her this and she laughs, and we have to go back to the previous bar to close my tab and get my card. At this point the mood is decidedly unsexy, and on the ride back she even tries to get me talk to about religion (she goes to church and is very Christian, it seems). I drive her car back to my hotel, despite having some alcohol in my system, and try to pull her into my room a few times. She refuses consistently. Thus I call it a night.

Friday 2/01 - Back in my home city, I'm in my apartment and consume edible cannabis, then I am feeling good and convince myself I want to go out anyway despite being high. Big mistake - cannabis just makes me way too awkward socially. The venue was FULL of women and I simply couldn't close or do anything properly. I have a love/hate relationship with this drug, but when it comes to women/seduction it is deadly. I need to take a break from this stuff. Got rid of the last little bit of edible cannabis I have so it does not tempt me. The next time I return to this drug it will be from a position of abundance, when I have hoards of eager women in my apartment ready to be screwed, NOT before.

Saturday 2/02 -
During the day, I had a date with an awkward yet semi-cute woman I met online. This is an opportunity to practice leading back home even though I wasn't completely into her (quality of women I meet online is sub-par compared to meeting them in the field!!). We meet at a coffee shop, I lead to the mall (holding her hand), then to a wine bar, and then back home. Zero resistance from her to going home with me - she didn't even ask where we were going!! However, once there is very, very, very nervous and I cant progress past her resistance. We cuddle and kiss for several hours before I take her back to her car.

Later in the evening, I go out to a language exchange meetup in my home city, and this time the ratio is decidedly against my favor (way more men than women). There was only one woman in the entire place I was interested in - a really sexy colombian schoolteacher that was there to practice french. I am talking to her in Spanish quite a lot, yet there is also another dude there competing very heavily for her attention with his very accent-heavy Spanish and British-accent english. She was very receptive to us both. It appeared that they had met previously at another event thus I had the disadvantage, but I could tell the guy was just slightly nervous (saying things to get rid of me like "hey, there is an entourage of German speakers over there, why dont you go talk to them?") At one point he drew his attention to another group, thus I seized the opportunity to get her to come with me to another bar. She was hesitant but also appeared receptive - I just think she didn't want to leave with me in front of the other dude. I go to the bathroom knowing I am taking a risk, and of course as soon as I leave the other guy pounces. I let them be, and see them leave together as I am talking to some other people.

Lessons from past several days.

1.) Women respond very well to gentle leadership. I am getting used to leading women to venue changes and capitalizing on the moment, which is a very good thing.

2.) NO MORE CANNABIS for now. Negatives outweigh the positives.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:27 pm

I'm in another city for yet another work trip. I really enjoy this job thanks to all the travelling and good pay, but it also forces me to adjust my game tactics. Like mentioned previously, I now attempt to build up a list of contacts that I can try to get on a date, either on a future trip to the same city or FAST during the same trip. Seppuku wrote a post about how getting laid is easier when you travel - this may be true, but you still have to play the numbers to find the right women and that takes time and energy. My work schedule has been busy thus I have been short on both.

Before getting here on Monday, I texted 5 girls that I met here previously - 3 responded, 2 agreed to dates, and both flaked (albeit with what seemed like good excuses - one drives two hours and the weather was bad, and the other is a sexy single mom that said she couldnt find a babysitter and suggested a day-date while the kids are at school - this unfortunately does not work with my schedule this trip).

While here on this trip, I got 4 numbers, one agreed to a date two days after I met her then flaked.

Thus, a lot of flaking this time, and zero results. Last 24 hours or so I've just been focusing on work and not so much on women, since my timeline for making something happen is rapidly shortening. At least I have my two girlfriends in latin america constantly messaging me with kiss emojis, that always makes me feel nice.

I guess when I go back to my home city I will regroup and try to build more contacts and dates there - somehow my home city has been neglected with all this travel. Since I am there on the weekends that is where I should place more of my effort.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:43 pm

Tonight, can't help but feel a bit frustrated. My lay count since leaving my 4-year LTR 10 months ago, in April 2018, is still an abysmal TWO women (both mentioned at the beginning of this journal). In those 10 months, ~8 other close calls of pulling women back to my place (granted, most of these before I started reading GC seriously a few months ago). Also two insta-dates, a one pull back to the girls place. All resulting in no sex.

I have a lot of memories of awesome sex with many women before my LTR. Back then, I knew about other PUA forums, but wasnt implementing the same strategies I am now learning from GC. I certainly wasn't even attempting day game.

Meh, perhaps it wasn't that different back then. I had long dry spells then too, but with definite spikes in sexual activity. It may simply be that recovering from this relationship will take time.

Last night, I had a successful number close from a cold approach at the airport. I felt good afterwards and the girl responded to my icebreaker text. I decided to try to escalate fast and get her out on a date tonight - she politely declined via text. Will have to try again later.

Tonight I am going out by myself to club I know plays good latin music, but is less of a serious salsa club. I may have better luck at these "latin clubs" that dont attract the serious dancers. I will not stop until I meet my goals. And anyway, life doesn't just revolve around pussy ;)
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:26 pm

My uninspiring record as of late continues. Forget getting laid, I haven’t even been on a date in two weeks! Several more women have flaked on me since my last post. Doing my best to turn this around with social outings every day this long weekend (meetups, night life), as well as some day game to acquire more prospects.

Like is often the case, I generally have no problem acquiring phone numbers, and often get good responses to ice-breaker texts. Its converting these into dates where I seem to have a major stumbling block at the moment. I also think that my frequent travel has made the logistics of getting women out on dates difficult - since my trips to Boston are now almost over, I anticipate this will be less of an issue going forward.

Recently, Chase posted “14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You”, which was the comprehensive guide I was looking for what is best to do with these numbers. Despite my previous success with phone calls, I’ve been experimenting with the methods in that post as of late (last week or so) – though if it continues not to pan out the way it’s been going lately, I’ll go back to replacing the “scheduler text” with a phone call, and if she doesn’t answer, then sending the text instead. Phone calls are not always convenient but if the situation is favorable (it’s a good time), I may start opting for it again under some circumstances regardless.

I’ve also been thinking about changing my environment from my normal salsa clubs to other kinds of clubs – experimented with a latin club one week ago and approached a lot of women. Achieved some dance floor make-outs, but the women disappeared immediately afterwards when their friends took them away.

After that outing I read the GC Post “How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs”, and saw all the positive comments Chase had to say about house clubs. Decided to check these out Thursday (Valentines Day) and again Friday – not much success there. The environment is still very similar to normal clubs, (cliques/groups of many non-receptive women, poor lighting, loud music so it’s difficult to talk) and I feel I would really have to swing the bat hard at these venues to get any results (though one semi-cute black girl did approach me on Friday – I feel I should have escalated fast and tried to pull her home, yet at the last second somehow I chickened out and just went for the phone number – was kicking myself for that). I agree with chase that house music is great for when you have a woman at your place, but perhaps not my cup of tea for actually meeting these women.

In contrast, last night I went to a proper salsa/bachata club, didn’t drink, and just danced with lots and lots of women – acquired two phone numbers, one texted me first and the other gave me a very warm ice-breaker text response, as well as reconnected with another woman that I met back around new years, who I invited home – her response “I would but my dad is asking me when I’ll be home” *holds up phone showing the text*. Ever since then this woman has been texting me quite a lot.

So – I think I’ll stick to the salsa clubs where I am at my forte and can meet a lot of women in a short time span, NOT drinking so my dance-game is 100%, and just focus on being more sexual/aggressive with the women I meet (e.g. more cheek kisses/invites home).

I am still in fact struggling with inviting women home – yet time and time again, I witness that after you do this, even if she refuses, a woman’s interest in you will NOT decrease – in fact, it either stays the same or INCREASES. Something to remember going forward.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:46 pm

My 17 day streak of no dates finally ended last night. I decided, as I was going to be back in Boston for work for just two days, to send scheduler texts to the two women in the area that had responded favorably last time. One did not respond at all, but the other did – a sexy latina single mom I met several weeks ago at a latin club here - though it was a bit of a dance over text to get her to come out with me.

The day of the meet, I sent another proposal text proposing a time and place – she agreed on the time yet for some reason waffled on the place, saying that her phone has no data thus she has no GPS, and she only knows to get to a mall about 1.5 miles away from my hotel. I pushed back on this a bit since this wasn’t my absolute ideal logistics and the bar I wanted to meet at was so close, but she also pushes back on my push-back, and I end up proposing for her to pick me up at the mall then I will help direct her. She doesn’t respond to this – I end up going to the mall anyway just in case she decides to show up, then 20 minutes after the time we are supposed to meet, send her some more texts. She responds strangely:

Científico: I’m here – this is a nice mall
Sexy Latina (SL): I’m at my mother’s house, and you? (???)
Centífico: Then, when are you getting here bachatera (nickname I sometimes give these ladies I meet at dancing clubs).
SL: Where? (wtf? Lol)
Científico: (giving her the benefit of the doubt) Maybe something happened with the babysitter, I understand ;)
SL: Where are you?
Científico: I’m at the mall waiting for you, for a little while
SL: I’m going to leave my kids with my mother but give me a little bit. I’ll leave around 7. No problem?


7 was one whole hour after we had initially agreed to meet. But given that I had nothing else to do, I played it cool and agreed.

Not one to waste a moment – I actually realized just what a great environment this mall was to practice some cold approach. No wonder PUAs love them! They tend to be “target rich” climate-controlled environments perfect for the winter months.

I did two approaches and opened direct for the first time in my life – one to a cute short blonde in a make-up store with lots of women.

Científico: Hey, how are you
Her: Hi!
Científico: I just thought you looked cute and wanted to say hi.
Her: *stares at me for literally 4-5 seconds*
Científico: What are you up to today?
Her: I’m sorry, I don’t understand you very well


Realizing English was not her primary language, I switched to Spanish and repeated the exact same things. It helped – but turns out her language is Portuguese

Her: Well thank you, but I’m engaged *holds up wedding ring*
Científico: Well that’s great news. I hope it works out for you 
Her: what is your name? (is she hooked or what now that she is asking me questions? lol)
Científico: I’m Científico…(may have said something else here I don’t remember)
Her: Oh okay, Obrigada!


That one went fairly well and my multi-lingual skills helped as they often do. The exact same thing happens in the next approach in the central part of the mall, to a very pretty brunette (outside of any stores, by the front doors):

Científico: Hey, how are you?
Her: Hi!
Científico: I just thought you looked cute and wanted to say hi
Her: Oh thanks!
Científico: What’s your name?
Her: I’m xxx
Científico: Where are you from?
Her: Mexico
Científico: (switching to Spanish) Oh, we can speak in Spanish then
Her: (warming up slightly) Ah, muy bien
Científico: What part of Mexico?
Her: Sonora


At this point I ask her some specific questions I know about Sonora – if she likes Banda music, if she is from Hermosillo, etc. Then I see that she was calling an Uber when I approached – I ask her if she is going to go, she says yes, tells me it was a pleasure meeting me, and walks off. Problably could have gotten a number if I had persisted before she left, but this wasn’t priority for me since I wasn’t in my home city.

At this point it’s getting close to the time my date is supposed to meet me. She texts me letting me know she is on her way, so turns out she is serious after all. I chicken out of one last approach before I see her – she is dressed casually yet still has some make up on. We meet, walk around the mall a bit chatting, take a selfie – then I propose to drive ten minutes to the bar I actually wanted to have the date in. She waffles a tiny bit (“but you are going to make me drink and I don’t want to drink!”) then agrees.

I get in her car, she drives, I direct her where to park and we walk 5 minutes to the bar. It’s exactly what I wanted – a lounge bar with dim lights. Of course as soon as we take some seats she wants a cocktail, which I pay for.
Conversation revolves around several topics. I ask her a lot about her family and history. We talk a little bit about religion since both being Caribbean it plays a big part in our families. She tells me I am intriguing – which is understandable given I have an advanced degree, many travels under my belt, and an interesting job, whereas she is just a babysitter with no education. I honestly think in these situations my background probably hurts my seduction – since it PROBLABLY hurts my attainability with these ladies that don’t have professional backgrounds, and they think of me squarely as a solid “boyfriend candidate” more than anything else. At least that is my diagnosis. I need to get better at switching topics and making things sexual and focusing less on my job, etc. Problem is, I have no idea how to do this well.

I get one more drink, then after about 45-60 mins she says she needs to go back to her kids that she left with her mother, since her mom only agreed to watch them for a short time. I told her she should come dance with me instead, and once outside, start leading her back to my hotel. I take her hand, but it unfortunately it doesn’t fit well in mine – as in, its not a solid contact, failing the comfort “test”. After about 2 minutes she realizes what is happening and starts pulling back. I try to persist a bit but she is firm in her resistance – then actually suggests I come over to her place tomorrow to hang out if I want, lol. I don’t actually take her seriously with this, and know that probably once she leaves, its over.

At this point I give in and we turn around to go back to her car. She drives me the 3 min to my hotel. I try to get her to park one last time and come in, she refuses and says I can come over tomorrow. I go for a manhandle kiss and she doesn’t resist very much – but also doesn’t kiss back. Then I let her go.

This morning I text her to see if she is serious about her idea of me coming over – of course according to whatsapp she hasn’t even viewed the messages at the time of this writing, in the afternoon. My plane leaves in a few hours anyway and Im not coming back here in the forseeable future, thus this one is dead in the water.

BUT some good things happened this trip

1.) Got a date scheduled within a short time span

AND

2.) Did some cold approaches direct for the first time in my life.

Now that I’m heading back to my home city, I can focus more on all the contacts I have going there and try to continue this momentum.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Feb 22, 2019 10:32 pm

Keeping the momentum going from this week, today I went on another date with an Ecuadorian dancer I met last week at a salsa club.

Things were great setting up the date from the beginning - warm response to my icebreaker text ("you're such a great dancer!"), positive response to the scheduler text, immediate agreement with favorable logistics (albeit with a little negotiation, and she ended up picking a nice good place about 20 minutes away - I allowed it since she was driving almost an hour to see me!), warm response to my anti-flake text - everything was perfect.

Then, something weird happened - absolutely no attraction during the date. Not sure what it was. My own self-diagnosis is that for some reason, I was a little nervous when the date started and she may have picked that up. There was also poor planning on my part as she got food at the first place, and no vegan options for me so we had to go to another place and she basically watched me eat a sandwich myself while refusing any food.

We all know that females are masters at sensing even a TINY bit of weakness, which was probably showing when she first showed up at the first place. Typically I'm not like this - maybe it was the new environment, or the fact that I am recovering from a streak in which I had no dates at all for almost 2 weeks. Who the hell knows. She is certainly not even close to the hottest girl I've picked up or dated. And yet, this one was dead in the water.

Not to say that I didn't try. I invited her home for a dance lesson and tried a "yes ladder" for the first time, which flopped. After some persistence, she told me "I dont want to give you the impression I'm interested".

Ouch! How does one recover from that?

I have a lot of other dates cooking on the pipeline using the texting method in Chase's post (which is gold), including one lunch date with a vegan girl tomorrow, thus we'll see if this continues to happen. Generally though, I'm still having serious problems escalating to intimacy during dates - yet to pin down what the problem is and how I can fix it.

Yet, with this particular date there are easy problems to fix - figure out the plan and the food situation ahead of time (e.g, dont stupidly let her get food if you know you are hungry and will need to get food yourself somewhere else!) - always be in control of the situation - and for goodness sakes don't be nervous over meeting a mediocre girl!
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Feb 23, 2019 4:48 pm

Not letting the bad experience with the Ecuadorian get me down, I went out to salsa again last night and met several women, got 4 numbers, and made 2 invites home (both declined). Definitely vibed very well with 1 or 2 of the women whose numbers I got and got some responses to ice breaker texts. Should definitely diversify some of the sources I get quality numbers from, but salsa/bachata remains #1.

Then, this morning I had the lunch date with the vegan woman, which went well in my view. This is another date I set up using Chase's method in the "how to text" post: got phone number on Sunday, sent ice-breaker text that day (she responded quickly), sent scheduler text on Thursday. She responded in the affirmative but presented me with a choice:

Científico: Hey vegan cutie! (VC) Did you go to that belly dancing event at the cafe? Was it fun? I just got back from Boston - incredible city I always enjoy visiting. What is your schedule looking like for that bite or drink?
VC: Hey Científico - didnt end up going unfortunately. You work in XX state right?
VC: Did you check out the next book for the book club yet?


Here she doesn't answer my question of her availability, and instead throws me some more questions back. I'm starting to notice women sometimes do this to deflect, probably for multiple reasons - in this case I don't believe it was lack of interest. In my next text I push back to get things back on track:

Científico: I work in many places since my job involves travel. No, haven't checked out the book yet - maybe you can tell me about it? Does this weekend work for you?
VC: I'm working this weekend on Saturday but I don't go in til 2 pm.


Here she is clearly inviting me to ask her out for lunch. In my mind, I'm wondering if I should accept this. There are two options
1.) Accept this opening and ask her out for lunch, in which I won't be able to escalate since she is going to work afterwards, and go with the two-date strategy (informational date first, followed by second date)
2.) Don't accept and try to schedule for another day in which I can try to escalate to intimacy the same day/night

Since lately I've had little luck with same-night escalations, I decide to go with option 1. Maybe it will be a nice change to have a date in which I'm not pushing things to happen right then and there.

Of course she accepts my lunch invite (since she was expecting it), we get some logistics out of the way that night and Saturday morning, and we have a very nice lunch together. Unlike the Ecuadorian dancer from last night, with this woman the conversation flowed very much effortlessly with a lot of playful banter. Some actual chemistry here.

I make sure we split the check and get out of the lunch place on time for her to get work, and part with the two-cheek kiss. She says "keep in touch" and I tell her "of course". Will definitely go for a second date with this one during the evening - in which I will try to escalate to intimacy.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Feb 24, 2019 10:07 pm

Just a few notes this lazy Sunday:

1.) Avoiding drugs, alcohol, and masturbation has been a very successful experiment thus far. Indeed, I find the nights that I avoid the alcohol and cannabis, it is much easier to avoid masturbating, and then my energy levels are much higher the subsequent morning/days, and I'm much sharper socially to perform better at work/meet women anywhere. From now on the plan is to avoid alcohol completely the nights that I am out by myself (i.e., most nights), and only let myself drink when on a date with a woman and she is also drinking. No more cannabis until further notice - that just sinks me down a rabbit hole of laziness, borderline depression, and poor social skills. Of course avoiding these things is better on my wallet and my body as well for obvious reasons. Took me until my early 30's to figure it out - but being sober is the way to go if you want to maximize success and overall health.

2.) Right now, I have two long-distance pseudo-relationships going on over Whatsapp with two girls in latin america.

i.) the woman in Mexico City I laid back in October, and just now in January, who is absolutely crazy about me and cant wait to see me again
ii.) the woman in Colombia who I met and got very sensual with (but didn't lay), in my first and only big day-game success so far. She is incredibly attractive with a killer personality.

The difference in investment on my part is stark. Both contact me regularly and initiate text exchanges, but I am WAY more emotionally dependent on messages from ii.) than from i.). I have the mexican under my thumb, but the colombian is yet "un-conquered", and any lull in texts from her make me concerned - like what has happened the past 48 hours or so. I would love to get this colombian girl to travel with me to Europe for the trip I have planned later in 2019, and have indeed mentioned it to her in one of our phone calls, but a lot can happen before this trip occurs, and I need to keep myself in check. Just giving myself a kick in the nuts here - it's completely okay if things don't work out with this woman. I will let her realize that if she does not keep initiating contact at any point, she can expect to hear from me less.

Here it's a unique situation since I am so far away I cant schedule a date with her, when she is clearly interested in one (last phone call we had on Thursday she told me I need to come visit to 'give her a massage'). Maybe in fact the best strategy is to let communication drop if she happens to lose interest in maintaining it, then coming back months down the line, when I am ready to propose a meet. I just need to realize that regardless of what I do here, success is not guaranteed, and be okay with this despite how much I want her.

3.) Some of the numbers I have are, as typical, being flaky and not really responding much to scheduler texts (after being responsive to icebreakers), or being evasive - there is a curious case of a woman right now who keeps inviting me to dance events but dodging the date requests I send. In these cases my strategy so far is phone calling - but the problem is, it has a very low success rate. Most of the time, the ladies simply do not pick up. Not sure what I could be doing here differently - I will problably start leaving voicemails - but it is better than nothing.

4.) I will likely sign up for Tawkify soon. It's a dating service in which a human matchmaker sets you up with a person that fits characteristics you give them, for a blind date. Not cheap, but I actually make decent money now and can afford it.

Interestingly, when I lived in California I got recruited from the professional app ShapR to be a non-paying matchable person, and got set up on two dates with women who were paying for the service. The first woman was attractive and actually left me a glowing review for the matchmaker, but I missed the escalation window as it was a month after I broke up with my 4-year LTR and I didnt know what I was doing - by the second date that I set up at a museum in which I hadn't even touched her, all attraction had completely dissipated. The other date I had from the service was unremarkable, and I was about to be set up with a third woman before I had to cancel it since I was moving back east.

Since I've been here, silence from these matchmakers. Time to break that up and add this back into my dating rotation. At least it is guaranteed to break up any dry spells in dates I may get - and you never know who I might meet.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:07 pm

An eye-opening day at work today - got feedback from my coordinator, both positive and negative, on my performance. And while I know I am doing a good job, and probably better than most people at the company with my role when they started out, I know I can do much, much better.

Same with this whole woman thing. Historically I have done well. I have already had sex in the last 10 years with more women than most guys do in lifetimes. But I want to continue - I want to get to the next level, and out of this post-relationship rut I am currently in. I want to be more confident, at work AND in relationships. And for that, I need to start mastering day game and really get those approach numbers up. Tinder, salsa, etc just will not cut it for what I want. I need to get the sheer numbers up.

The mental excuses are always numerous. I had several opportunities today I didn't take - in random places, like public transportation. Your brain really just doesn't want to do it because initially its very unpleasant. It's things like "she looks busy". "She has her earbuds in, doesn't want to talk to anyone". "It's a crowded bus/bus station". "It's dark and she wouldn't want to talk to a guy right now". Etc etc.

I finally got one in at the grocery store before the day was over - a lovely red-head, problably in her early/mid 40s. I complemented her at the check-out line and as soon as I did, another quirky gentleman joined in and also complemented her xD, thus butting into my approach. I gave the guy props afterwards for a job well done.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Mar 01, 2019 1:07 am

Well, the conclusion of this interaction with the woman I had lunch with on Saturday ended up being very uninspiring.

She responded to my post-date text, so I texted her on Tuesday, deciding to be a bit bolder than normal:

Científico: Hope you had an excellent start to your week! I had several customer visits AND a car problem, thus no time for fun
Científico: When are you free to try the xyz winery place I mentioned? Or we can just relax and cook food sometime.


I knew one of three things was going to happen
1.) She accepts
2.) She declines and friendzones me
3.) No response

What happened was 3.) – no response. A bit disappointed, today I decide to send a re-engage text spike from one of Tom Torero’s books (whose material I’ve been following lately).

Científico: VC! Did you get kidnapped? Tell them I’ll pay the ransom 
VC: At least you’ll spring for that lol


Wtf? Slightly confused, I follow up with another spike from TT:

Científico: Huh? You think I don’t “spring” for things?
Científico: My mother warned me about women like you
VC: Ok
VC: You asked to split lunch with me


Oh, she is upset I didn’t pay for lunch??? Now this is bizarre – I’ve never had a woman straight up complain about this.

Científico: (laugh/cry emoji) (I send this as I am literally laughing).
Científico: I think it’s a clash of civilizations between you and me
Científico: The age old question of wether or not to pay for lunch
VC: It’s not a question
VC: And it’s only a question with millennials


I found out during the date she was a bit older (at least late 30s, maybe early 40s), which is why she is saying this – she knows I am younger.

I ponder what to do about this. To have a woman straight up complain about not getting a free meal is very entitled – I would never, ever date a woman like this. But my goal is to get laid, not to get into a relationship. Thus, I attempt to get her out again:

Científico: I mean, you are very cute and all – maybe that’s why I had no way of knowing you came out of a time portal from another era :)
Científico: Tell you what – xyz winery is on me if you play your cards right :). You free this weekend?


No response. Thus, this one is dead.

Like I mentioned, I’ve been following Tom Torero’s material lately – I like how he clearly explains the difference between male and female communication, and how to communicate with a female you are attracted to and want to seduce requires breaking rapport and teasing (or so called “spiking”) rather than building comfort and asking questions. I instinctively do the latter rather than the former and it’s a very hard habit to break – but at least within the last couple of days TT’s material has made me aware of it. I mean, her going out with a younger guy? There are ton's of ways to tease a woman about this!

She was very fun during the date, and she made the teasing a bit easier. But I could have done much better – it’s likely that accepting the date on HER terms, plus my lack of effectively building sexual tension, put me in the “provider” role – and that is in fact what she may be looking for, primarily. Thus my follow up texting was uncalibrated with what she saw during the date.

This is my diagnosis, anyway.

Was at a happy hour for latinos today with good music playing and lots of attractive females, and I witnessed myself doing a lot of comfort and not a lot of spiking and tension building. The dancing game gets women interested initially, and gets me numbers, but only gets me so far and still leads to a high flake rate – I need to couple it with GOOD conversational skills to get to the level I want to be. I plan to go on a serious daygame mission this weekend to try to hone my skills in this area.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:14 pm

Friday I had what was easily the worst day I have ever had at this new job - made mistakes, and had a conflict with a co-worker - which is going to have repercussions on Monday that I am not looking forward to dealing with.

I went home last night and started drinking and engaging in other destructive behaviors, thus today I felt like crap. Had a plan to go on a day-game mission and bang out at least 5 approaches, then to a meetup/happy hour to do some "warm" approaches.

Due to my negative state, I didn't even get out a single approach. The anti-approach weasel kept telling me "How are you going to pick up a woman when you feel like such garbage?" I believed him.

Still went to the happy hour and flexed my social muscles a bit, and got the number of a sexy Brasileira that was there before heading home early. Thus the night wasn't a complete waste.

As I was swiping on Tinder just to pass the time on the way home, I matched with a cute woman my age that instantly started messaging me back after I sent out the initial message. I had a date set up with her for tomorrow night within 30 minutes. Sometimes Tinder makes things easier, when I am lucky enough to get a decent match. Probably could have even gone for the date TONIGHT - but just too damn tired. Will focus on sleeping tonight, working out tomorrow to get myself in a more positive state before I go on a date.

Looking forward for this current storm to blow over. There is nothing worse than problems in my professional life - which have been few and far between since I got into my current industry. Let's hope it stays that way.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby ElderPrice » Sun Mar 03, 2019 3:39 pm

The weasel was right that approaching was going to be very ineffective in such a negative state. As long as those states are pretty rare, it's perfectly okay to take a day off from approaching in order to recover. But what I would do in that situation would be instead of going out to approach, I would go out to do something fun. The fun activity will boost your mood, and you can still approach anyone you see at that new venue. You may be able to kill two birds with one stone - have fun and approach.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Mar 03, 2019 11:21 pm

Tinder date went well, better the previous dates I've had lately - only because this time I focused on utilizing some physical and verbal sexual escalation. Still was NOT able to extract her back home, which is very unfortunate, but I think I got very close this time.

This woman lives about 40 minutes away. Initially when I was trying to set up the date, I attempted to get her to agree to come to my part of town so I could easily pull her back to my place - she playfully complained about it being too far. Thus I then selected a bar midway between where we lived and she agreed. Only about 20 minutes away from my place, thus a pull home wouldnt be that big of a deal. This is possibly mistake #1 however - I think its much better to have the woman travel, invest, and let her know who is boss from the start. In the future I might try pushing back and see if I can get the woman to agree to the best logistics, before giving in.

I pick out a place for us at the bar where we can sit side-by-side (I realize now just how critical this is for physical escalation). She arrives and is immediately very happy and flirty - I greet with with a cheek-kiss and I can tell she is happy to be there. Face is cute and is exactly like in the pictures - body has a few more pounds that what her pictures let on, but still not a big deal in my book. Definitely a woman I wanted to screw.

There are several points in the conversation where I escalate verbally. I comment that the bar is playing a lot of classic rock that I used to listen to in my teenage years, when I had a lot of "teenage angst and horniness". I then comment that I still have the horniness, just "a little bit more refined". I also get her to talk about how she used to go sailing as a teenager - I ask her about the "sex, drugs, and alcohol" she used to do on the boats - she comments she did but playfully refuses to divulge any details. Both times I can tell she intrigued, and slightly surprised, that I am talking about sex so openly - but of course this is working in my favor.

Another moment is when I correctly guess that she has read "50 Shades of Gray" and I comment about how this is "female porn". I ask her to talk about this book and she does, spending several minutes talking about the plot and why it stimulates her - I tell her this book is "the female sexual fantasy". She playfully hits me (physical escalation) and asks me why I think this is.

I also at one point say "I'm not looking for sex - I'm looking for good sex". She is a bit taken back "I just met you....". Possibly a bit too direct? But nonetheless, the frame of me as a sexual person is established.

The entire time I am also touching her, her legs, shoulder, hair, etc. I tell her she has nice eyes as I am caressing her hands, and it goes silent for a moment. I touch her face, and earrings, and ask where she got them. Things like this.

So, this is the first date in a while where I do both the physical and verbal escalation, much better than in previous times.

After I finish my second beer (stout that I got in a four ounce snifter, whereas she declined a second wine glass), I go for the pull:

Científico: Well, I think you've had fun talking to me yes?
Her: Yes :)
Científico: And I think the night is too young to end now yes?
Her: Sure
Científico: Then let's go back to my place where I can put on some good music and I can teach you how to dance
Her: I dont know if we can do that tonight, its Sunday...


Somewhere in this exchange I show my lack of resolve and actually let this fall into silence for a bit while I ask for the check - big mistake (#2)? I let my frame slip in the face of her resistance. I pick it up again:

Científico: It's pretty early, and it doesn't have to be a long lesson
Her: (throws her arms around me and gets her face close to mine) ermmm.....You are so cute...and I'm really tempted....but I really don't think I can


At this point I have paid the tab, and grab her hand and tell her "lets go" - leading her back to my car. As soon as we are outside the bar she stops me in my tracks and says "not tonight". Then she gets her face in very close to mine, clearly asking to be kissed. I oblige (mistake #3?). I LOVE kissing women, but I constantly feel as if I need to stop doing it in public, especially when they want it.

She is a great kisser. Then she says "keep in touch" and walks off, while I say "see you next time".

Just like that, she is gone.

I didn't bother sending a post-date text - she clearly likes me, and she knows I like her - I will just text her tomorrow or Tuesday and try to get her out again.

Meanwhile, I sent 8 scheduler texts today to all the numbers I acquired the past week - 2 have responded at the time of this writing - the sexy brasileira from yesterday who says we should go out dancing next weekend (will try to get her out for drinks instead - dancing is not an optimal date), and a short Guatemalan woman who approached me on thursday at the latino happy hour after she saw me dancing, who has already agreed to a date on Friday.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I get to deal with my work issues. Good thing I had some time this weekend to recover.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby ElderPrice » Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:21 am

Científico: Well, I think you've had fun talking to me yes?
Her: Yes :)
Científico: And I think the night is too young to end now yes?
Her: Sure
Científico: Then let's go back to my place where I can put on some good music and I can teach you how to dance
Her: I dont know if we can do that tonight, its Sunday...


If this is exactly how your pull attempt went, in my opinion it doesn't sound smooth. It reads as very obvious what you're asking for. Try coming up with a phrasing that doesn't include the words "back to my place" and includes a lot more window dressing.

I like variations of this for starters:
"I know a place nearby where the drinks are cheap, the music is good, and yet it's quiet enough to have a conversation."

As for adding window dressing, in your case I would have gone into a lot more detail for why she should come over to listen to music and dance. Like, what would you say to a lazy, introverted buddy of yours if you really wanted him to come over to join you in listening to music? You wouldn't just say "come over and listen to music." You'd say something like "hey man, there's a few songs I want to show you since we were talking about killer guitar riffs the other day. A co-worker gave me this old CD with some amazing stuff on it I really think you'd like. The CD is at my place. Come on over and have a listen, and yes we will be listening on my brand new speakers, then we can leave and grab a bite. What do you say?" See what I'm getting at?
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Mar 04, 2019 7:05 pm

If this is exactly how your pull attempt went, in my opinion it doesn't sound smooth. It reads as very obvious what you're asking for. Try coming up with a phrasing that doesn't include the words "back to my place" and includes a lot more window dressing.

I like variations of this for starters:
"I know a place nearby where the drinks are cheap, the music is good, and yet it's quiet enough to have a conversation."

As for adding window dressing, in your case I would have gone into a lot more detail for why she should come over to listen to music and dance. Like, what would you say to a lazy, introverted buddy of yours if you really wanted him to come over to join you in listening to music? You wouldn't just say "come over and listen to music." You'd say something like "hey man, there's a few songs I want to show you since we were talking about killer guitar riffs the other day. A co-worker gave me this old CD with some amazing stuff on it I really think you'd like. The CD is at my place. Come on over and have a listen, and yes we will be listening on my brand new speakers, then we can leave and grab a bite. What do you say?" See what I'm getting at?


I do, thank you for the valuable feedback. Indeed I know enough about musical artists when it comes to latin music that I can easily cover my bases this way with this "window dressing". It certainly cannot hurt. Will keep this in mind for next time.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Mar 05, 2019 8:44 pm

So, I'm out of my post-Friday blues and feeling much better after a positive experience working today at another customer site. I hope to carry this momentum into the weekend. A few topics to mention in this post.

Surprisingly (or perhaps not surprising at all), Tinder girl has not responded to my last text trying to set up a new date! I realized this may happen after about 1-2 hours she didn't respond last night, compared to her typical keen messages the day before. Now it's been 24 hours and still nothing. It stung for a few hours before I shook it off. I might try a re-engage text or a phone call at some point but don't have high hopes.

My diagnosis? Probably overly keen, and over-escalation with the sex talk driving her into auto-rejection (after I didn't close the deal). My dates with the Ecuadorian dancer, and possibly the vegan, were both me going for too much comfort/friend vibe - this time, it was problably too much sex talk and un-smoothness, like my friend Elderprice describes above. I need to find the happy medium, which I know will depend on the girl and the situation. Problably for now, too much is better than too little. But I want to reach the best possible calibration - will try toning down the sex talk 40% and keep the physical escalation the same.

Nonetheless, the weekend is looking good if everything pans out -

Guatemalan has agreed to a date on Friday (I'm wondering if I should ping her with something in the meantime to keep the conversation going since the date is still a few days away - maybe tomorrow I will ask her what kind of wine she likes)

Sexy Brasileira has tentatively agreed to a date Saturday, and we are actively pinging each other right now. Her pattern is she takes about 12-18 hours to respond to a text, which is totally fine - I am mirroring the pattern as we set up the plan for this date.

She is very keen to go dancing, which isn't my preferred first date (crowded, competition from other men, etc), but there are at least three examples off the top of my head from my early 20's dating/seducing days where I either fucked a girl (once) or had good opportunities (when the girl was ready for sex) that I fucked up due to no escalation (twice), where the girl was in my car, or at my place, after dancing dates. Thus I'm willing to try this with her and I have a logistical plan in my head already, involving the dance place as a second venue, that I will detail in a future post, if this date happens.

If anything, looking forward to getting some proper daygame in this weekend - it's been too long and I am still scratching the surface.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:41 pm

Wrapped up a very nice week at work today, thus carrying some positive energy into the weekend. Sexy Brasileira flaked for Saturday but she responded in a flirty way to my "No Worries" text, so I'll ping her again in a week or two. Guatemalan was responding positively up until asking me what time we want to meet tomorrow - then no response after I suggested the time. Lol, I love the games women play.

Today I went out on a mini-late afternoon/early evening daygame mission in my local neighborhood and did 6 approaches. Here are the stats:
- 2 total blowouts (girl ignores me)
- 1 where she hooks and tells me she is married, and refuses to give out number
- 1 where woman is happy I complemented her but says she is engaged, ejects from the set
- 1 where Korean girl hooks, gives out number
- 1 Instant coffee date with a Russian/Jewish girl (got number)

Not too fucking bad!! Especially compared to the last time I did six approaches a week or two ago, where it was 5 blowouts and 1 semi-hook but no number. Its clear that daygame works, and it's actually pretty fun. Will be doing some more tomorrow and into the weekend.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:48 pm

Today outside it is cold, wet, and gray - very suboptimal daygaming conditions. Got 2 daygame sets out and hit on a few cashiers too while I was running some errands, but to no avail. I was not on point. And to top it all off, guatemalteca looks like she is flaking today too - still no contact from her even after I sent her an anti-flake text an hour ago just confirming the time. It is really weird - she seemed so on when I met her and during the texting, up until about 48 hours ago she just vanished.

Now I finally get a text less than an hour before she is supposed to meet me, saying she had a mishap and asking to reschedule. I suppose it could be true. But it leaves me date-less this weekend.

Both numbers from yesterday have flaked as well. What to do other than to brush it off and get back on the horse? Luckily my city always has fun social things going on in the weekend evenings. Today I'll do a german language happy hour and some dancing.

I'm not sure if my flake rate is higher than average? I only started keeping proper data on the 27th of Feb, but once I get a big sample I'll post it on the board and seek feedback - will likely take several months.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Mar 10, 2019 12:33 pm

Man, what a wild ride yesterday was - it was a ridiculous learning experience in terms of social interaction, the power of daygame, and frame control.

The basic plan for yesterday was this: Go out on a daygame mission and do 10 approaches, before going to the language exchange happy hour (where people go to practice speaking languages other than English), and then the possibility of closing the night at a local bar with some latin music.

I end up on an instant-date with a cute mexicana from daygame (approach #9). She was very friendly, receptive to my touch but there was a clear limit. I could have been wrong, but sensed that she was not same-day-lay material. And anyway, I couldn't get her into the venue I wanted due to her forgetting her ID. Sent her on her way (likely mistake - was seriously questioning myself after doing this) instead of continuing the interaction, but have a date tentatively scheduled for Tuesday.

Later on, I extract a very pretty pakistini/kurdish early 20s woman from the happy hour I was at to the second venue with latin music who was happy to come with, although we went with a group of people initially (at my leadership). Then we were one-on-one for a while at the bar. There was plenty of sex talk and some physical escalation, but likely not enough for her at that moment - somehow I lost the frame and she told me she had to meet up with her sister that was texting her. The basic pattern was this.

Her: Hey, my sister is texting me and I have to leave in 30 min to meet her
Me: Why? Just tell her to come here.
Her: But she hates this place


Eventually I let her go. I suspect I got a little bit too drunk and perhaps offered her one too many drinks, and probably other subtle things went out the window with the large amount of alcohol I consumed. Overall I think I needed to be more polarizing - more sexual, especially if I've got her at the bar with me. I think I missed my escalation window at some point. Texted her but the chances of me getting her out are probably null.

Things to work on:

1.) Need to be even better at leading and knowing what I want. What was the point of the instant date with the mexicana? Was I actually going for the same-day lay or just grabbing her number for later? Strategy was incongruent here.

2.) Need to work at frame control. Did my actions at the second venue with the middle eastern girl match the goal of the interaction (get her to bed?). Looking back, I think I was too sloppy with the alcohol, not enough escalation and moving forward. Somehow my brain thought "it's too early to try to close", when it almost certainly was not.

3.) Again, why so much alcohol? Sometimes I get in a state where I just want to keep drinking, and its rough on my wallet, and my overall pulling ability. Last night it was costly.

Moving forward - have dates tentatively scheduled for Monday (Kazach girl from happy hour), Tuesday (Mexicana from DayGame), and Wednesday (girl from Bumble app).
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:32 pm

Had a very poor nights sleep last night, probably related to the fact that I was a lazy bag of douche yesterday nursing my hangover and didn't exercise or move much. Also been battling a throat bug. Luckily today I had a work-from-home day, did a tiny bit of lifting, a little bit of napping, and I think tomorrow I will be at 100% again. Its so fucking nuts that ONE bad night of drinking can affect me for 48 hours these days!! It's just not worth it anymore - I must keep reminding myself to set limits.

However, today it was warm outside - spring is coming and it will be here very, very soon. Indeed, my first daygame spring.

Kazach girl from happy hour did not flake for today's coffee date, even though I thought it was likely after she didn't respond to the anti-flake text. She just showed up anyway, and I was surprised to see her there to be honest. Just goes to show you you should assume the date is still on even if the girl is being weird about responding to texts. Logistics were perfect for a bounce back home. And there was a lot of banter - she certainly feigned a lot of pseudo-outrage to my sexual spikes during the date, and my multiple references to Borat. She said she liked documentaries, and after seeding Cosmos as a good documentary she had never seen before, I eventually suggested the bounce back home "why dont we go back to watch one episode? It's only 30 minutes".

It seemed like she considered it for a few minutes, but deflected the request by moving to a related topic without answering the question. When I brought it up again a few minutes later, she declined, and it was downhill from there.

I often go back and forth in my brain if its optimal to simply LEAD the girl back home (as in, we are going to Disneyland! you'll love it *take hand*) or asking direct (why don't we go back to mine and watch that documentary you like?) Which has a higher chance of success? I've heard multiple schools of thought on this, and have mainly done the latter rather than the former.

With this particular woman, I don't care that much. She is just barely over the threshold of attractiveness for a woman I would consider banging, and the date with her was a warmup for the main event this week:

This is likely Guatemalteca, who I rescheduled the date with yesterday over the phone (in brief: she called on Saturday and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her and her friends, apologizing for flaking earlier. I told her I was busy, but then called her yesterday to reschedule our original date for later this week). With her, the sexy vibe is strong, and has been since I met her - she approached me after she saw me dancing at that latino happy hour, introduced me to her friends, put her hand on my leg while sitting next to me, etc.

Thus, one date down - potentially three to go this week. Mexicana from Daygame is suddenly not responding to texts, so high chance of a flake tomorrow. Bumble girl for Wednesday may still be on, and will set up a time via text tomorrow. Then Guatemalteca Thursday. Will try to close a few more loops during the week also from previous weeks, then hit the streets over the weekend for more prospects.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby ElderPrice » Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:20 am

Nice job having all those consecutive dates lined up!

Meh, I don't know how much I'd worry about your leading question at this time. In situations like this, I always try to remember common-sense, fundamental aspects about dating. In this case: if she really wanted to go home with you, she would have said yes. Similarly, you could word that pull any way you want, but if she's not super excited about you then your odds of making the pull are probably the same regardless of which way you go, give or take a tiny percentage or two.

If she agrees to a second date, then she likes you and you're fine. If she resisted your pull and isn't interested in a second date, then she probably just didn't like you a whole lot. Oh well. Have you tried experimenting with just inviting girls straight over for date #1? I'd be curious to see how your success rate compares to that vs. going the route of going out on dates before making the pull.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:00 am

A couple of thoughts to mention for this post

1.) The big topic for today - now is the time to mention another lead I was trying to 'close-the-loop' with this week - an incredibly sexy vegan restaurant owner who I number closed last month while she was working, by explicitly mentioning we should get a drink and having her write her cell phone number on the back of her business card. Indeed, her business card she originally gave me didn't even have her cell on it - I took the phrase "do you have a more direct line? I dont want to bother you at work" directly from Chase's book, and it worked.

I was very pleased at this number close, as she is probably one of the sexiest, most attractive women I have number closed this year (maybe not THE sexiest, that honor may be reserved for the colombian I went on the insta-date with in Boston, but top 3 for sure). Something about her just screamed sex to me. I don't know how a woman can make delivering food sexy, but she accomplished it.

And yet, every single time I sent a scheduler text, she deflected, albeit in a semi-flirty way. First two, she said she was sick, which is understandable. The third one was more of a true deflection, as she wrote (last week):

Good morning, I'm glad to hear you are back safe and sound from your travels. I still have the occasional cough here and there, but for the most part, I am feeling much better. There's a couple of vegan charity events/meetups that will require a lot of my time and attention this month. Maybe we can grab a drink or two when my business is much more of a well oiled machine. We'll keep in touch until then? :)


I responded to this telling her about how it looked like a well oiled operation when I visited, and that I'll be in touch, and she reciprocated. Then I actually fell out of contact for over a week - this is the third time she had denied a date request, with an excuse that seemed a bit weird, thus she fell on the back-burner despite how incredibly hot she is. I almost sent her a "ball in your court" text but decided against it - I hate doing this with women I explicitly want to keep the ball in my court with, who I consider higher value.

Today I decided to try again, 11 days later, this time with a phone call. I considered two possibilities:

i.) She answers and engages in conversation (had the convo prepared)
ii.) She does not answer (had a voicemail prepared)

What happened in fact was different:

Sexy Vegan (SV): Hello?
Científico: hello SV, how are you? This is Científico
SV: Okay, and where are you calling from?
Científico: *confused* My cell phone?
*pause*
SV: Okay, I'm actually at the gym right now, can I call you back in a little bit?
Científico: Well - I am actually going somewhere in about half an hour. If you are done in that time, that could work, otherwise we can try again another time.
SV: Sounds good. Have a good night!


As soon as I hung up I knew I had failed. No spiking, no teasing, nothing to let her know what I wanted. I had failed to consider the possibility that she would pick up but not remember who I was (just like when I walked into the vegan place last month, she initially thought I was some kind of business call), or quickly try to exit the conversation, and I was going to have to redirect right then and there. So many ways I could have redirected or taken ownership of the conversation, but I just let it die because I couldn't recover from the initial awkwardness. Totally awful.

I contemplated how to try to recover. I ended up sending a few texts about 10-15 minutes later:

Científico: Enjoy your workout. Good to see you are maintaining a well-oiled operation in other areas too ;)
Científico: I'll give you a call a little later - would love to catch up, and check your schedule for that drink we've been discussing.


That first text is what I should have said on the phone, but failed. No answer at the time of this writing. Current plan is to try again with another phone call within the week, but I do not like my chances.


2.) Mexicana from Daygame didnt answer my last text for almost 48 hours - I thought she was a sure flake for tonight's date. Then she did something extraordinary. First she "liked" my previous messages on iMessage, and sent some flirty emoticon-full texts confirming the time for tonight. 20 MINUTES LATER, before I even answer, she then says something came up at work and couldn't make it, asking to reschedule. LOL. I could only laugh at how ridiculous it was. My current message trying to reschedule for this weekend sits unanswered.


3.) Bumble girl said she was sick for tomorrow and we rescheduled for Friday. Texts are flirty, so I like my chances thus far, despite the delay. Wont ping Guatemalteca until Thursday. Assuming this date is on now - my instinct tells me all I need is an anti-flake text the day of.


4.) Finally, I actually did check out a salsa/bachata/zouk night tonight - first dancing event in a while. Learned that its possible to over-tease a girl and have the opposite of its intended effect, especially when its uncalibrated and in front of her friends - this girl wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. So that was a failed experiment. Got a nice number close from a friendly girl of turkish origin there, and the Argentinian I mentioned in the beginning of this journal was there also, and in fact very friendly - asking me to dance several times - almost made me want to re-initiate. But something tells me it's an act.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:24 pm

Another Friday in which I'm recovering from a stressful and busy week at work. The high stress started a little over 2 weeks ago - I can even trace it to the day. Since then I've made a few substantial mistakes and had several "teaching moments" on the job, from which I am still recovering. I am attempting to do my best this weekend not to let it bother me.

Thankfully, they are all different mistakes and I am learning from each one. If I were repeating the same mistake - then I would be very, very concerned.

It's a very stressful time right now, right now all work related. This isn't even the right forum to talk about this, but of course high stress = diminished ability to pick up women. Will exercise, and attempt daygame anyway. Way better than staying in dwelling on it.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:11 am

Not letting myself stay in due to my job-related blues or the high amount of flakes I've had this week, I went out today and yesterday on daygame missions. Here are the wrap-ups:

Yesterday:
6 approaches in my local neighborhood (overall lower quality targets), no blowouts (girl always stopped and listened), but no hooks or numbers

Today:
7 total approaches in a better area with much hotter women, 5 blowouts (very high compared to average), 1 hook, no numbers.

Succumbed to AA a few times, preventing me from making it to my planned 10 before the sun went down. The worst part was the AA I got that prevented me from approaching easily the hottest girl I saw all weekend - she was wearing tight leggings that showed off a perfect lower half, and a jean vest on her upper half with sunglasses and red lipstick. She was a total knockout, and I could only watch her walk past due to the massive AA that hit me at that moment.

The highlight was of course the one that hooked - she was an attractive italian woman standing just outside of a store with lots of children inside. I was walking by, we made eye contact and I immediately approached without hesitation. This is problably part of the reason why she hooked - I cant be sure, but I sense that at least some of the blowouts were due to the fact that I hesitated before approaching in some cases. A MAN MUST APPROACH IMMEDIATELY. I was thinking - but what if she turns out not to be as hot as you thought she was? Then I realized just how silly this fear is. If that happens, one can just eject, or use it as practice set.

This italian woman laughed at my jokes, and started asking me about what I do, where I am from (hook point). After several minutes I tried to number close but she told me "I am a married woman". I respond "I dont want to be your husband" but to no avail.

Tomorrow will do more daygame approaches, and maybe some dancing to try to get numbers the old fashioned way. Also have a potential bumble date. Then will hit the ground running on Monday to try to regain some momentum at work.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Mar 18, 2019 10:51 pm

Today had a date with a petite woman of turkish origin. Met her at a meetup group, and initially didn't notice her that much thus didn't bother to get her number or ask her out - the way she dresses intentionally, or unintentionally, doesn't call attention to her - it's always a scruffy pair of jeans, plain top, and a mass of wild, unkempt curly hair.

Then I saw her again at a dancing event. Turns out, she must have the exact same interests as me to turn up at two completely different events that I also go to. This made me notice her - thus I got her number, texted a bit, asked her out and she accepted, suggesting we meet for tea today before a dancing event, or also suggesting this weekend as an alternative. Since I am away this weekend (going to Mexico to give my lady friend there some loving attention, believe it or not), I accept her first idea and formulate a plan in my mind to go with a two-date model instead of a one-date pull model.

The dancing event she is going to is not my favorite style of dance, thus I make it clear I wont join her for the dancing and will stick to the tea. She shows up in exactly the same plain clothes as always - but I do get some time to look at her, and it's quite clear that underneath that clothing is actually a great little body with fantastic hips/curves. If she took time to doll herself up, she would be a stunner for sure.

She ends up staying with me for longer than anticipated (till after the other event had started). My touch routine was not being explicitly rejected, but also not reciprocated at all. So, I calibrated and played it cool, limiting the physical escalation and only doing very light verbal escalation. Seeded the next date by talking about a turkish drink she mentioned when I got her number, and left her with a two-cheek kiss I now borrow from Spain as a standard goodbye with women I'm attracted to.

I'm convinced the two-date model can work sometimes, especially when the logistics for the first date are bad and/or the woman seems like she will need more time before a pull attempt. I need to keep experimenting a bit. Also thinking some fluff texts in between the initial ice breaker text and the scheduler text may help build rapport with women - Chase's texting guide is a good guide after all, but I think it doesn't do enough to explain the importance of flirting over text, a least a little bit. This girl is a good example of that, as well as another I met Sunday that I currently have on the pipeline.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:10 pm

Haven’t updated in a week or so, only because the work stress has been absurd, and I am just returning from a trip to México in which I gave lots of love to my very special lady there - the only real mLTR I have going at the moment.

Work stress has also been absurd the past week - I just left Mexico recharged (and with empty balls), thus ready to tackle the upcoming challenge of righting the ship there and making sure I am successful at my job. This really takes priority over game and dating at the moment.

But of course, sometimes Game finds you. On my first flight back I happened to sit next to a very cute American girl coming back from Mexico. She hooked when I opened, and was super happy to talk to me. However, I decided not to escalate or get any contact info because she was going somewhere else than me...now I kinda regret it. The strong eye contact and big smiles from her made me think I could have escalated, maybe even done a super-fast escalation like I did with the Colombian back in January. The problem is that most IOIs from women are not as blatant as hers.

How to read signals from women on where your escalation window actually is and when to actually pull the trigger is still a big challenge. I suppose the only way to find out is to try, and fail, until the feedback from reality teaches me. I have to get into the habit of just doing it more often, and ignoring the weasel in my brain that constantly comes up with excuses. The excuse today was: why bother if she lives so far away? Which seemed logical, but then you realize that that isn’t necessarily an obstacle in some cases. the worst that can happen is rejection.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:31 pm

Finally starting to let myself relax after a very packed several days post-Mexico weekend.

Obviously as I have mentioned the last several posts, my work is a big focus at the moment as I have to address some mistakes I've made recently with the new job. But I have a chance to correct things and I intend to work hard to achieve that - this is simply a job I cannot afford to lose right now, as it would mean turning my entire career upside down. Often times this means that seduction, daygame, and dating take a back seat. Last night I got home after 7 pm and couldn't do anything substantive, passing out before 10 pm! One thing you realize with a job like mine - the parallels between sales and pick-up/dating are actually quite numerous....

However, tomorrow is light, and I have a weekend coming up in which I don't have any real plans - thus I can take some time tonight to ping some leads I had going last week, then in the weekend possibly go on dates, do daygame, and plan other social activities.

Interestingly, I also the other day got contacted by a woman I met about 9-10 years ago salsa dancing, who now runs a matchmaking company and is offering to set me up on dates with women for free. Why not? We'll see how that goes.

Since I started to keep track of my daygame approaches, and the responses from women, about one month ago, I have some stats to analyze - the total number of approaches I have done the past month sits at 50, which is very low for a beginner. Tom Torero (whose stuff I have been following lately), suggests 30-50 a week for a beginner, which is 120 to 200 per month. I'm not sure if I can actually achieve that number right now, but maybe can bump up my number closer to 80-100 per month instead of 50. Its just that in my local neighborhood the quality and volume of women I want to approach is nowhere near where it is if I go downtown into the city. I need to make more committed day game trips on Saturdays and Sundays at least, and do 10 those days, to get to 80 per month - with a sprinkling of weekday trips when I can.

In terms of the responses from women, the rough breakdown is:
50% - girl listens to sales pitch, but does not hook.
40% - complete blowouts, girl doesn't even bother to stop/listen and continues on her way.
10% - girl listens, hooks, and I often get the phone number.

So, 1/10 approaches are successful - about where a beginner should be according to TT. My plan is to add whatever stats this weekend to my "March" dataset, then start a brand new one for April. Hopefully - over time - I will see an upwards trend in the number of "hooks".
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:18 pm

Fairly productive day yesterday,:

First, I went into the city and did a proper daygame session of 10 approaches. I was on a role - #1 was a number close, as was #3. But the rest were either blowouts or level 2 rejections (girl listens to sales-pitch but does not hook, husband nearby, whatever). Still, I was quite pleased - two numbers is good progress for me. One never replied, while the other was replying yesterday but seems to have fizzled out as of today.

Second, yesterday I reached a brand new milestone: first day ever in which I had two women in my apartment in the same day, and both of them left me with blueballs (no sex)

The first was a date I got from Bumble. I did a single venue date plan in which we met at a wine bar, drinks were flowing, and then I suggested the bounce home which she agreed to (after some minimal sexual/physical escalation at the venue). However once home - massive LMR I could not overcome, lots of complaints about it being too fast, and that she was hungry and I had no food for her, etc. Note to self: always have an array of snacks and food for women at home.

This is at least the third time in recent memory of a date from online sources, in which I try to escalate for a first-date lay and fail. Somehow, I always get pushed into the boyfriend category and pushing too fast is always leading to buyers remorse in these women. Not sure why. I need to adjust my strategy somehow, try a two-venue date, or even make it sexual during the messaging before the date even happens.

After this, I decide to go out to a salsa venue, and there I run into a petite MILF who I had some sexual chemistry with and who I had made out with before (but whose name I couldn't remember at first) - when I suggested the bounce back at about 1 - 1:30 am, she agreed, getting into her car and following me home. But....yet again, LMR I could not overcome, even in the morning after she spent the night. She kept telling me she doesn't sleep with people who don't remember her name. I took her out for brunch then sent her on her way - not a high priority target at this point.

Funny and tragic at the same time. But mostly just funny. I don't even care that much - I truly am only interested in these women for sex, and there are plenty of others like them. I just need to continue honing my strategy to actually get sex rather than getting this ridiculous LMR everytime they are here.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby ElderPrice » Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:54 pm

Nice update! You're doing a great job getting them home. To crack this LMR problem, could you provide a general description of what you do / what happens once they're back at your place?
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Apr 10, 2019 12:04 am

A little while since my last update, only because, as anyone reading this journal can expect, the job has taken up most of my mental and physical energies the past few weeks.

First I'll address ElderPrice's comment below:

Nice update! You're doing a great job getting them home. To crack this LMR problem, could you provide a general description of what you do / what happens once they're back at your place?


Thank you my friend for your comment. One thing I dont have yet is a consistent plan for what to do once they are back here. I always put on music, either house music (for all the non-dancers) or some bachata (for the dancers). With these two particular women, I did the following:

Petite milf: I bring her back, put on bachata music, and attempt to escalate while dancing with her. Did not work, wouldn't even kiss back that much. We go to my bed, LMR persists, until I give up and go to sleep. Next morning she is a bit more receptive (kisses) but still wont fuck.
Bumble girl: Put on house music, have her throw some of darts to my dart board, pour her a glass of wine, then go in for the kiss (which she reciprocates). Attempts to escalate further are blocked. I then move her out to the balcony, kiss her some more out there, then bring her back in to watch a film. LMR persists.

To be honest with you Elder, I think the problems here may not stem from my actions once back at home, but instead from improper foundations during dates/before the bounce home. I think the escalation needs to be bit more calibrated before the bounce back. Let me know if you agree.

Second, like I mentioned in the first sentence, the job has taken up most of my energies in April so far and I have done almost no work at all generating new dating leads. Lucky for me, a few leads I thought were dead did come back out of nowhere, and I'm currently engaging in some text game to try to get them out.

Recently, I've been thinking that Chase's "14 Simple Ways To Text a Girl" post, while useful in its templates, may in fact be slightly incorrect in its focus on ONLY sending some very specific texts to get a woman out on a date. I think it may in fact be very important to engage in SOME light/playful banter over text with a woman you are interested in, between the icebreaker text and scheduler text, to show her you have a fun personality and you can tease her/break rapport. Not overdoing it of course, but I think in the end this may make her more likely to go out. Currently with the two leads that resurfaced I am experimenting with this a bit more.

Tomorrow I have a light day and what I hope will be a respite from all the hard work Ive been doing lately - thus lets see if I can get some daygame/nightgame in. Very much looking forward to it!!
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Apr 13, 2019 5:35 pm

Yet another date in which I successfully bounced the girl back home, but she wouldn't fuck. The pattern continues.

This was the Guatemalteca whose number I got a while back, problably close to two months ago. Since then it had a been a series of unsuccessful attempts to get her out (and her flaking with various excuses), with me even giving up on her for a time. Miraculously, last week she reactivated and started texting me, leading to some on/off texting during the week until we finally got together this Saturday afternoon for a drink.

It was fairly standard two-venue date. She parked close to my place, and we walked to a restaurant to get her some food since she was hungry and got a round of drinks. I attempted some light verbal escalation here (asking her if she had any guilty pleasures). She was definitely down for venue two, and I took her to my favorite wine bar that is close to my place (as an aside, the cute bartender is definitely starting to notice I go there with a different woman every time, lol).

Here there was some more verbal spikes (why are you single? Do you kill all of your boyfriend?) as well as physical (*taking hands* how many husbands do you have?). I seed the bounce home with talk about latin music (since that is how we met - her liking the way I danced), and when I asked if she wanted to go back and listen to music she agreed, though with the caveat that she only had a little bit of time before she had to go meet her friend for another event.

Once back at my place, we throw some darts, I throw a bit of music and we start to dance. I kiss her and she kisses back. After the song I push her on the couch and start kissing other parts of her body.

She appears to be into it at this point, but then she complains that the neighbors are watching (my blinds are open and the building next door has lots of residential apartments). I go over and close the blinds and resume my kissing, to which she then gets up and says "lets dance some more". As we're dancing I start taking off my belt and get my dick out, to put her hand on it, but she refuses, then says she should go. I go with the "agree and amplify" route initially ("yeah maybe you're right"), thinking that the push might get her to reconsider, but she is firm in her decision. I kiss her some more and attempt to get her back in the mood to no avail. Afterwards, I decide to walk her out and send her on her way.

Thus, yet again a girl in my apartment, and more blue balls. A definite pattern here?
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby fog » Sat Apr 13, 2019 9:03 pm

definitely a pattern here...i find it interesting

you need to be more aggressive. i noticed girls are giving you excuses like "the neighbors could be watching" or "im hungry." they are saying this to throw you off and its working. do not pay attention to these things and stay focussed on the escalation.

also, how long does this dancing and darts shit take? if these girls are not naked on ur bed within 10-15 minutes of getting to ur house then thats a problem
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Apr 14, 2019 9:17 pm

you need to be more aggressive. i noticed girls are giving you excuses like "the neighbors could be watching" or "im hungry." they are saying this to throw you off and its working. do not pay attention to these things and stay focused on the escalation.


This is good advice, thank you. Indeed, looking back, me breaking off the escalation to get up and close the blinds may have been THE turning point - up until then she had been into it, and somehow the act of me listening to her and doing what she said turned her off. Another reminder that what women want is to be lead, and dominated.

also, how long does this dancing and darts shit take? if these girls are not naked on ur bed within 10-15 minutes of getting to ur house then thats a problem


I generally always start the escalation quickly, within 10 min.
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