Male Competition

SuperSaiyan92

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Oct 12, 2018
Messages
3
Hi guys

(Please suggest keeping in my mind I'm serious about this girl and looking for a long term relationship)

So I like this girl who is a junior in my college. I am a guy with not much experience dating but I pursued her hard without coming off as needy and desperate. She was initially really interested in talking and the first one to iniate conversation and my friends sensed that she likes me because of her flirting attitude towards me. Now the problem is that she has a close guy friend who has known her before me and after realizing that I'm a serious threat he upped his game and pursuing her even harder. Both are very close and I'm the guy coming in and being a threat to this guy. Now even if the girl spends more time with her "friend" she keeps me in loop and tries to get back my attention if I push myself away. Now this is confusing me as I can't understand if she is interested in me or playing me or playing both of us or wants me to even go harder after her. Till now I have put in the minimum amount of effort compared to the other guy and still managed to take her out a couple of times even if she hangs out with the other guy all the time.

All these games maybe result of me not being direct enough in my approach or she still might be confused. Its also understandable that she can't ignore her close male friend whom she has known before me. But all these games is sucking the time out of me and I sometimes feel the need to move on to some other girl I like who is showing interest. But I don't want to come off as though I gave up on her even if she is was still interested hence I feel like expressing my interest to her that I want to be with her which will put her at a crossroads in selecting between me and the other guy. Which can go either way. Would be helpful if someone can suggests.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Get her out alone on a date (or better yet at your place) and kiss her and get intimate with her. Odds are the competition guy has yet to do that and if you beat him to it you'll be good to go.

If she doesnt respond to your advances you've already moved to slow with her and you weren't going to get her anyway.
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,576
Hi,

I sympathize, I really do, but like the other contributor said, you have to escalate one way or another. Not by talking or flirting, but by trying to get intimate. If she resists, you can easily next her or reduce your investment. At the moment she is probably quite content with the situation, getting attention and validation from 2 (if not more guys), but you are in a losing position, just remember that. Take a step forward, if she resists, then you can move on. If she liked you, she'll find you and then you can escalate again. If she resists again: hard next. Meanwhile meet more girls. There is no reason to be caught up on one girl, but again I sympathize, because you described that when you pull away she tries to rope you back.

The irony of situations like this is how a lot of guys are afraid of rejection, while being rejected actually gives you quite a lot of power. The situation where you are not sure if you are rejected yes or no, that limbo, that is the worst position to be in.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
DarkKnight said:
Hi,



The irony of situations like this is how a lot of guys are afraid of rejection, while being rejected actually gives you quite a lot of power. The situation where you are not sure if you are rejected yes or no, that limbo, that is the worst position to be in.
^ TRUTH.

The opposite is having OPTIONS. I'm a firm believer (NOW) in only entering a relationship if the woman is totally on board wanting to lock it down. At that point you can look at your options and say "I choose THIS ONE." It is the only way you are going to operate from a position of confidence. You know that you could go and have other women IF you wanted to. The same goes for careers. Unless you are turning down new offers you don't have a career job yet...
 
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