Ambiance's Ascension



Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ken » Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:40 pm

Congrats on your Cro-Magnon Man ranking, Ambiance. You deserve it. I remember when you first joined this site, and I've been seeing all the hard work that you've been putting in to your relationships and your seduction skills. I'm happy that you found love, real love. Today was also my first day back in school (and my 23rd birthday). And I also have similar goals for the semester, specifically having a calendar with all my assignments and dates listed out (albeit I'm using my phone for this task). In addition, I also plan to do them when they are first available so that I do better quality work and avoid rushing to do it at the last moment, and I will do my best to avoid falling behind in class. And I already drink lots of water everyday :)

So, hope you succeed in all your goals and I wish you nothing but the best.

-Ken
https://thiswritersmind.wordpress.com/ I write about a lot of things on my blog, from movies to politics to masculinity. If you feel that I could be doing a few things differently, let me know. I am always trying to get better at the craft of writing.
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:00 pm

Thanks a bunch Ken, you are too kind. It's been one hell of a journey. Seems like you and I have a lot of similarities. Its so easy to push off homework, until its not haha. Here's to us both evading a ton of stress this semester and getting shit done early.

Happy 23rd! Hope it was a memorable one;) I'd encourage you to start a journal of your own. They're super rewarding, and I could follow your progress too.
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ken » Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:53 pm

Ambiance wrote:Thanks a bunch Ken, you are too kind. It's been one hell of a journey. Seems like you and I have a lot of similarities. Its so easy to push off homework, until its not haha. Here's to us both evading a ton of stress this semester and getting shit done early.

Happy 23rd! Hope it was a memorable one;) I'd encourage you to start a journal of your own. They're super rewarding, and I could follow your progress too.


Thanks man. My 23rd birthday was like any other day, mostly because it was on a Monday. I only told two of my friends in college on that day that it was my birthday, and they were both like it's another day closer to day. Haha.

Oh, I have a journal. Two in fact, one was made before you joined the site and has only one post. I started the other late last year: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=19357. I have been struggling with it in terms of what to put on there, since I haven't cold approached yet in 2019. Should I talk about my parents and background? What else should I put in there?
https://thiswritersmind.wordpress.com/ I write about a lot of things on my blog, from movies to politics to masculinity. If you feel that I could be doing a few things differently, let me know. I am always trying to get better at the craft of writing.
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Tue Jan 29, 2019 11:14 pm

Ken-

Shot you a reply on your journal
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Seppuku » Wed Jan 30, 2019 2:31 pm

Ambiance,

I just noticed you passed to Cro Magnon status, congratulations on that! It was overdue in my opinion, you did demonstrate consistency in your ability to get women for a while now.

Up to the next step now!

Seppuku
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:55 pm

@Seppuku

Thank you! It's been one hell of a journey, especially over the last year and a half. I greatly appreciate the interest you've taken in me. There's much I've learned from you, and your advice has played a crucial role in my development, notably back in late 2017 on one of the most important FRs I've had.

I hope your year is off to a great start, particularly with your lifestyle blog. I try to check it out from time to time. Also cool tracking your progress in the weight room. I've had tons of success in the gym so if you ever want to talk lifting don't hesitate to reach out.

Thanks again!
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:52 pm

Four years ago was my second lay. Reread my old LR. God, how much has happened since that night, which I still remember vividly. I'm almost overcome with emotion, remembering how I used to be and the things I used to fear and desire. I thought I was such a stud back then, yet that young man can't hold a candle to me now. I am very proud of him for what he did to become me. And I relish the emotion I once felt, of pulling off something that prior seemed so alien yet fulfilled me more than just about anything.

...

Anyway, a quick update.

Scholastics
These are in a good place, especially compared to where I was at start of last semester. I am fairly on top of all my courses, and haven't missed any class. I am participating much more, and getting stuff done when it is assigned. I am much more organized. And stuff that stresses me out I pick up on very quickly once I actually try. It's amazing I sometimes forget how smart I am. 999 times out of 1000 me struggling with material is because I haven't put in effort.

I'm not fully organized, and am behind on reading, so need to address that quickly lest it start to build up. This includes filling my newly purchased calendar out. I must also start going to office hours to get on teachers' good sides.

Financial
I've worked the least on this category. The idea is to focus on it once school is in tip-top shape.

Relational
Things are great with Destiny. She sleeps over twice a week, and we spend a good amount of time together the following days. The sex is magnificent. I drive her absolutely wild, and I get super into it as well. We probably average eight 10-60 minute sessions a week. She wants to have my babies. I met her parents and they like me a lot, in part thanks to reading Chase's article for such occasions.

Seeing her tomorrow for Vday. I got some rose petals and lights (which I've been meaning to get anyway) to make it special and show her I care without overdoing it. Might get chocolate (which I'll likely eat xP) and write her something cute too.

My best friend is coming in from AZ this weekend. Should be a blast. Beyond him, I'm not close with any guys my age. Making friends has never been hard for me, but keeping them around has. Which removes the incentive to make them in the first place. Quite the spiral. This is another area I have neglected this semester. Honestly I should make a post about my issues with securing friendships.

Personal
Working out is going well, and I've elevated my numbers a bit, but also have missed a few times. Not today though: woke up early and had a fantastic session before class. Need to do this every Wednesday; it's too fulfilling to miss out on.

Swimming is good considering the bad weather lately. I do laps every time Des and I hit the pool, and also whenever my schedule allows.

Once again, my music library is exploding. Obsessed with this melodic death metal band at the moment. About to hit 1500 songs, which is one of my goals.

My facial skin is healthy as well, in part to my usage of a cool water bottle Des got me last Xmas. I've played around with my facial hair, which Des loooves. Get lots of looks around campus, especially since I have fashion down.

...

It's very different being off the market. I love my girl, and it's nice to not have the pressure of chasing tail. Stepping away has given me much perspective. This includes an obligation to enjoy the benefits of singledom far more whenever I'm next single. So many opportunities I didn't pursue, and now can't. It still is good I am with Destiny. Already this relationship has given us both so much value.

That's all for tonight.
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Mar 21, 2019 1:40 am

Time for an update.

Past month has been absolutely stellar, to the point where I was asking myself earlier today if this is the happiest I have ever been. And then an hour ago, I got some very irritating news that just kinda killed it.

Academic
5 of my 6 classes are in a good to very good place. My strategies for this semester are working, and had I implemented them the first week I'd probably have straight As. Nonetheless, this will be a much better semester than last fall.

It is almost laughable why my sixth class isn't great right now. I overheard a conversation about the midterm being on a Thursday, which made sense as it was the last day before spring break, when really it was on Tuesday. So I spend all my time studying for other midterms, then am very surprised showing up to class that Tuesday. To make matters worse, it is one of those classes where you absolutely need a cheat sheet to do well, and I hadn't prepared mine. So I got a 60:P However, whatever you get on the final replaces your lowest midterm, so there is hope. Still, was very mad at myself for being so careless.

Financial
Due to lack of demand the guy in charge of tutoring is cutting back on hours big time. Ugh. So I might need to either quit and find a new job, or start doing some stuff on the side.

Having a girlfriend has also increased by spending a bit. God, I hate being tight. Really need to figure out making more money, and fast.

Relational
God, I was so excited to type this part, and now all that excitement is just tainted. I'll type the good stuff and then get to the thing that put a damper on everything.

Destiny and I have had a wonderful, magical month of intimacy and laughs and more frequent sex than probably anyone on this board can boast. I'm dead serious about the last thing. We had sex 10 times in one weekend. That was following having sex six or seven times just a few days before. This is despite how sore she and I get. And these aren't sprints to the finish either. The shortest we'll go for is 8-10 minutes, and we probably average around the 20 minute mark. I figured out how to make her cum like crazy, which is worthy of its own post. I've turned her into a ravenous animal, and she thinks I am the sexiest man alive and has insisted that she will marry me and have my babies someday. Which would be very scary if I wasn't in love with her.

A day ago I would have told you that she was just about perfect for me. That while I knew I wasn’t going to marry her, that she was the most important girl of my life thus far, and would be for a long time.

The bad news is she just got her third tattoo after her brainless low-class family persuaded her to. When I let myself fall for her she had two, which was one too many. But other than that and a few yellow flags, she was exactly what I was looking for. She was my dream girl! No red flags, no orange flags. I rationalized that she only had two tattoos, and that one of them was very meaningful as it commemorated her dead brother.

And now I am furious, both at myself and at the fact that a little bit of that fucking perfect intimacy we had been sharing is now gone in my mind. However long we last, I am never dating a girl with tattoos again. I will also take her family's values into MUCH higher consideration. The only reason she got it was to conform to those cunts.

I haven’t been this affected since back in high school when the girl I was infatuated with started heavily flirting with some other guy in front of me. I can't be in love with a tatted girl! This ridiculous tattoo has smothered the burning love I had for her, and reminded me how fucking alone I am.

Love, love is the only truth
Pure as the well of youth
Until it breaks your heart
You took me higher
Than the mountains I have climbed
You, you waited all your life for me
You left me all alone behind
But we'll meet again
We will meet again
All alone
Stuck without you



Beyond that, have gotten closer with my best friend from back home over our mutual love of music. He and I get each other like none other. I've also been a little more social.

Personal
I've added a bunch of super quality songs and albums to my library. I now have a huge variety of top tier music to choose from. To top it all off, last night I relistened to what I previously thought was an ok album by my favorite band, and had my socks blown off. I haven't listened to something so obsessively since last summer. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. I'm actually listening to it as I type this:P

Working out is going pretty well. I have missed some workouts but am close to the strongest I have ever been.

Got a short and sexy haircut couple weeks back. Destiny loves it. So do lots of girls around campus it seems. What is is about being in a relationship that makes girls way more forward and open with you?

So, after weeks of Cloud 9, my life has once again become uncertain. I don't even want to talk about the problems back at home involving my mother and my siblings.

Afterward
I love Destiny sooo much. It kills me, rips me apart, that she can never be the mother of my children. Which I guess I already knew. I just really, really wanted her to prove me wrong. And she came so close.
Always,
Ambiance


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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:34 am

Time for an update.

Academic
4 of my now 5 classes are in a good place. The fifth is just ok. I am not behind in any of my classes, and am far ahead in some of them.

Had to drop my sixth class after bombing on the second midterm. This means I'll have to take it again in a semester of two. Very annoying, but I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.

This semester has seen my attention divided between many things. Overall, I am doing great, but school does not have the level of priority someone more mature would give it. I keep putting off when I will become 100% serious and give school a full-measure effort. What I'm missing now is paying full attention in class. It is not enough just to show, smart as I am.

Financial
Working to secure a summer job and get out of paying my lease once it is summer. I need to focus on both of these more though, surprise surprise.

Decided I will get a motorcycle at some point in my twenties, and will use it in the summer. I have just the personality for it... can't see myself without one at this point.

I will also be getting a dog once out of college, irregardless of expenses. The right type of dog gives me such happiness, and the companionship, responsibility, and dominance factor will do me a lot of good. I also would like any future children I have to grow up with a dog or two, having longed for one all of my childhood.

Relational
Things are good between my girl and I. She loves me so much. In my arrogance I once thought people didn't have as high a capacity for love as I do, but her love rivals and dare I say surpasses my own?

We did have a hiccup last weekend however. She's in a sorority but always spends her weekends with me, and has thus missed a lot. She also has had trouble making friends outside of greek life, which has been hard on her. Her solution to her loneliness was to start going out with girls in her sorority. I put my foot down and said I don't date girls who have girls' nights out. She freaked out and started crying, thinking I was going to dump her. I ended up compromising, which I still don't know how I feel about. I told her I wouldn't object to her going out a few times and experiencing what its like, but if she keeps going down that path I can't follow.

What I'm doing is gambling that she will get bored, satiated, or frustrated with the experience. What I'm not doing, but maybe should be doing, is using her huge fear of losing me against her. I could have easily made her pick between me or going out, but I didn't want any resentment to build up over time (even though she doesn't need her sorority to make friends).

I know now that I'm not girlfriending a sorority girl again though. MLTR? Sure. But I don't want to deal with it. Guess I've earned it after all these years. Abundance is a liberating feeling. Which brings me to my next topic.

I reread an old FR from before I lost my virginity that i never posted yesterday. In it, I had gone out twice with a girl I thought was way out of my league. Knowing what I know now, the combination of horrible logistics combined with moving slow sunk my ship with her. What I didn't know until yesterday was how mamy chances this girl I thought walked on water gave me. I made faux pas after faux pas, not to mention not being nearly as hot back then, and still this girl hung around and clearly wanted something to happen between us. All because I had the balls to approach her to begin with.

Which means I've always been a king, and I just didn't know it.

To realize this, to TRULY realize it... I know I'm a stud now, but if Ambiance from back then had a shot with a girl that hot, then just imagine what I can do now.

Girls don't scare me like they did even half a year ago.

...

Much as I would like to end this section on that note, there is one more thing I must bring up. Last weekend, I broke one of my hard rules and now am paying the price. My good friend was paying someone to do an essay for him, and I told him I'd do it instead. He knows I am smart so he was thrilled. In my cockiness, I didn't verify whether I was actually up to the challenge or not, and so I took on the project. Well, tried to start it tonight and found it impossible. It's due tomorrow, and my friend had already made plans all of tomorrow, but there was no way I was doing that paper. So he got screwed over, and its all because I was so cocky I accepted something I couldn't do, and I didn't do it until the deadline.

This guy thought the world of me before, and while I didn't think quite the same, he was always very cool with me. And this is how I rewarded him. While I know I probably just lost a pretty good source of value and friendship, I am not as perturbed at myself as I should be. Annoyed is the accurate description.

I wrote a few entries back that I was done taking half-measures, and that I am not afraid to be the bad guy anymore (at least while I'm young). This is based on Chase's convincing The Civilized Man article. I was definitely the bad guy tonight. I feel sociopathic right now. Tonight was, in a way, all according to plan. I wanted to be the guy who takes and doesn't give back.

A reminder tonight has given me is that I need to be around people I wouldn't feel as apathetic about wounding like this. I need to be around people I respect as I respect myself. This has always been very difficult for me, which I've touched on in previous entries. Maybe I should make a post about how to not look down on people when striving for true greatness and they're not.

Personal
The real winner of the last month has been my music library. Have gotten into so many great and diverse bands. It has received the bulk of my free time following time spent with my girl. Restructured my genres to get more technical. Also have a perfect new rating system which helps me keep track of masses of songs I keep downloading.

Gym has been going real well. Was stuck on a plateau with bench, but adding another set to my workout saw instant results. All of my other lifts are exactly where I want them. It's a cool feeling.

My girl got me some new shoes, which looks great. I've also been wearing chubbies (shorts that show a lot of leg) more, which girls actually love! My girl gets very turned on when I wear them around her, and I get many AIs in public. Have had those for years yet was missing out.

My friend in AZ and I have gotten even closer over our passion for music. I am finally at the level where I can consistently introduce him to stuff he both hasn't already heard and actually enjoys. About time I started to pay him back for all the wonderful stuff he has shown me. I need more friends like this guy! It is easy for me to go out of my way for him.

Alright, calling it here.
Always,
Ambiance


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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:35 am

Alright, it's been long enough.

Academic
4 of my now 5 classes are in a good place. The fifth is just ok. I am not behind in any of my classes, and am far ahead in some of them.

Had to drop my sixth class after bombing on the second midterm. This means I'll have to take it again in a semester of two. Very annoying, but I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.

This semester has seen my attention divided between many things. Overall, I am doing great, but school does not have the level of priority someone more mature would give it. I keep putting off when I will become 100% serious and give school a full-measure effort. What I'm missing now is paying full attention in class. It is not enough just to show, smart as I am.

Financial
Working to secure a summer job and get out of paying my lease once it is summer. I need to focus on both of these more though, surprise surprise.

Decided I will get a motorcycle at some point in my twenties, and will use it in the summer. I have just the personality for it... can't see myself without one at this point.

I will also be getting a dog once out of college, irregardless of expenses. The right type of dog gives me such happiness, and the companionship, responsibility, and dominance factor will do me a lot of good. I also would like any future children I have to grow up with a dog or two, having longed for one all of my childhood.

Relational
Things are good between my girl and I. She loves me so much. In my arrogance I once thought people didn't have as high a capacity for love as I do, but her love rivals and dare I say surpasses my own?

We did have a hiccup last weekend however. She's in a sorority but always spends her weekends with me, and has thus missed a lot. She also has had trouble making friends outside of greek life, which has been hard on her. Her solution to her loneliness was to start going out with girls in her sorority. I put my foot down and said I don't date girls who have girls' nights out. She freaked out and started crying, thinking I was going to dump her. I ended up compromising, which I still don't know how I feel about. I told her I wouldn't object to her going out a few times and experiencing what its like, but if she keeps going down that path I can't follow.

What I'm doing is gambling that she will get bored, satiated, or frustrated with the experience. What I'm not doing, but maybe should be doing, is using her huge fear of losing me against her. I could have easily made her pick between me or going out, but I didn't want any resentment to build up over time (even though she doesn't need her sorority to make friends).

I know now that I'm not girlfriending a sorority girl again though. MLTR? Sure. But I don't want to deal with it. Guess I've earned it after all these years. Abundance is a liberating feeling. Which brings me to my next topic.

I reread an old FR from before I lost my virginity that i never posted yesterday. In it, I had gone out twice with a girl I thought was way out of my league. Knowing what I know now, the combination of horrible logistics combined with moving slow sunk my ship with her. What I didn't know until yesterday was how mamy chances this girl I thought walked on water gave me. I made faux pas after faux pas, not to mention not being nearly as hot back then, and still this girl hung around and clearly wanted something to happen between us. All because I had the balls to approach her to begin with.

Which means I've always been a king, and I just didn't know it.

To realize this, to TRULY realize it... I know I'm a stud now, but if Ambiance from back then had a shot with a girl that hot, then just imagine what I can do now.

Girls don't scare me like they did even half a year ago.

...

Much as I would like to end this section on that note, there is one more thing I must bring up. Last weekend, I broke one of my hard rules and now am paying the price. My good friend was paying someone to do an essay for him, and I told him I'd do it instead. He knows I am smart so he was thrilled. In my cockiness, I didn't verify whether I was actually up to the challenge or not, and so I took on the project. Well, tried to start it tonight and found it impossible. It's due tomorrow, and my friend had already made plans all of tomorrow, but there was no way I was doing that paper. So he got screwed over, and its all because I was so cocky I accepted something I couldn't do, and I didn't do it until the deadline.

This guy thought the world of me before, and while I didn't think quite the same, he was always very cool with me. And this is how I rewarded him. While I know I probably just lost a pretty good source of value and friendship, I am not as perturbed at myself as I should be. Annoyed is the accurate description.

I wrote a few entries back that I was done taking half-measures, and that I am not afraid to be the bad guy anymore (at least while I'm young). This is based on Chase's convincing The Civilized Man article. I was definitely the bad guy tonight. I feel sociopathic right now. Tonight was, in a way, all according to plan. I wanted to be the guy who takes and doesn't give back.

A reminder tonight has given me is that I need to be around people I wouldn't feel as apathetic about wounding like this. I need to be around people I respect as I respect myself. This has always been very difficult for me, which I've touched on in previous entries. Maybe I should make a post about how to not look down on people when striving for true greatness and they're not.

Personal
The real winner of the last month has been my music library. Have gotten into so many great and diverse bands. It has received the bulk of my free time following time spent with my girl. Restructured my genres to get more technical. Also have a perfect new rating system which helps me keep track of masses of songs I keep downloading.

Gym has been going real well. Was stuck on a plateau with bench, but adding another set to my workout saw instant results. All of my other lifts are exactly where I want them. It's a cool feeling.

My girl got me some new shoes, which looks great. I've also been wearing chubbies (shorts that show a lot of leg) more, which girls actually love! My girl gets very turned on when I wear them around her, and I get many AIs in public. Have had those for years yet was missing out.

My friend in AZ and I have gotten even closer over our passion for music. I am finally at the level where I can consistently introduce him to stuff he both hasn't already heard and actually enjoys. About time I started to pay him back for all the wonderful stuff he has shown me. I need more friends like this guy! It is easy for me to go out of my way for him.

Alright, calling it here.
Always,
Ambiance


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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:40 pm

Good lord I need to post here more.

It's been about two months since my last one. A great deal has happened, damn it. Let's hope I can remember it all, in addition to closing out Spring 2019 and addressing Summer 2019.

Relational
My girl and I are still madly in love. The rest of the semester was a magical as it had been before, with one hiccup which I touched on in this post:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=20295&p=99888#p99888

Don't think I ever wrote how things wrapped up regarding this, so here goes: I sat her down and had a quick talk telling her that I don't date girls who go out, at least without me. I also told her that while it would be fun to go out here and there, it's not something she could expect from me on anything approximating a regular basis. I then told her that I know she has made commitments to her sorority and that she is young, so if she wanted those things I wouldn't stop her, but I would not follow. I must have seemed very serious to her, because she started crying hard and thought I was breaking up with her. I reassured her I still loved her, and still wanted to be with her, so long as she was okay with my new terms. Which turned out to be a super easy decision for her.

It is so easy for me to strategize/influence/manipulate? people that I often try to limit myself and not overpower people with my will. I guess out of some sense of morality? Or perhaps loneliness. On the other hand, I sometimes forget how easily I can get the things I want. Had I made things crystal clear with my girl from the get go, I would have spared myself a lot of headache without likely causing any resentment.

Anyway, she and I lived it up the rest of the semester, had earth-shattering sex, and had some fun date nights. Leaving her was horribly melancholic. She came over soon as finals were done, we drank each other in the next few days, then she helped me get my stuff packed and took me to the airport, where I got just a little more time with her since there was no line for security. We text everyday, and she is coming out in a week for a week. I have some fun stuff planned.

School
Finished the year with 4 As and a C. GPA was a 3.52, not that it mattered to my dad, who seemed to forget part of our deal was that I have to get a 3.5 before he pays for anything.

So pretty good! Would have been nice to not get a C though... this can be 100% attributed to not paying any attention in class, despite always showing up. It is not enough to just show up.

Fundamentals
Still pumping 245 4x8 for bench. I've gotten to the point where I can still get this even if I'm having an off day. Which means I need to go up sooner or later. I've done 255 for reps before, but it sure is intimidating. Rest of my lifts are good too. This is getting ahead of myself, but beginning of summer I tried deadlifting out, and to my surprise got 405. I remember struggling with 315 back in high school, so pretty cool. This puts me well into the 1000 club, for those of you who are familiar. My bench is probably 335, my squat is 405, and now with my deadlift I am a certified 1145 total. I don't even take lifting that seriously. Bow, ya shits.

Financial
The money back from getting As is such a relief. Kinda put me on easy street. I have also saved myself a lot of money by using my head. That said, working over the summer is imperative, and I want to do something more than my old job driving, despite that netting me plenty of cash (a lot of which was untraceable!). I want to be making $20/hour or more.

I found someone to take over my lease in July, though not for full price. Sucks, but could be worse.

Personal
Almost at 2500 songs. Have gotten very into melodic death metal. Dark Tranquillity, Scar Symmetry, Wintersun, Insomnium, Be'Lakor, and Soilwork... some seriously good shit. Also getting into Opeth. Definitely hmu if any of you are fans.

Gonna now go over my goals and then do a summer post.
Always,
Ambiance


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Ambiance

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Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Jun 13, 2019 9:13 pm

SPRING 2019 GOALS - POST MORTEM

Scholastic

- 3.5 overall - Completed
- 3.75 overall - Failed
- Straight As - Failed
- Physical calendar with all assignments and dates listed out - I did this, but not right away, and it cost me. Next semester I need to have this done by the end of the first week.
- Do assignments when they're first available - was pretty good about this in the classes I got As in. Not so much in the one I dropped and the one I got a C in. Go figure.
- Never fall behind in any class - Failed. Fell behind in the class I dropped and that I got a C in.
- Never skip class without good reason - mostly completed. I did skip 2-3 classes, but it didn't hurt me.
- Go to office hours every week - Don't think I went to a single one! Hahaha... this goal may not have been realistic. Still, I should have gone for the class I got a C in.
- Get involved with business societies - Fuck this shit. Its expensive and time-sucking as hell. May just not even bother.

Financial

- Maximize tutoring hours - not very applicable considering my boss lowered hours across the board. Never missed a session though.
- Do financial plans for my dad - Yeah, in hindsight this was a bad idea. Working with my dad is a recipe for disaster. Glad I didn't do this one.
- Another source of revenue - Does theft count?:D
- Keep spending low - Was pretty good about this.
- Secure summer internship - Didn't happen. Became disillusioned with the accounting firms very quickly, plus I already have an internship under my belt. What I should have done was figure out a job during the school year instead of put it off til the summer.
- Get a car - Didn't accomplish while in school, but have secured it for next semester, which is a win.
- Secure living arrangements for summer - accomplished. Since I have a girlfriend, I am okay with living with my dad again for the summer (well, marginally okay. Still sucks)
- Get out of lease/sublease if necessary- half-completed.

Relational

- See Destiny few times each week - super completed. There was a time where I felt I was seeing her too often, so I got busy for 5 days. Day 6 was one of the best days ever. We had soooo much sex.
- Do something romantic with her unexpectedly several times - Easy.
- Make three new good friends - Nope.
- Have a best friend in San Diego - Nope.
- Visit my best friend from back home/host him - Had him out for a few days. But our second planned visit was ruined when his car broke down 100 miles from Phoenix:/ I lost over $150 thanks to that, but ended up having a great weekend with my girl instead.

Personal

- Workout 4x a week - not really, closer to 3 on average
- Swim/Tan 3x a week - did pretty well with this one, weather depending
- Bench 275 3x8/350 once - ugh
- Abs - came close here! Still have that fat pack on top, but I can make out all 6 when I flex.
- 1500 songs - easy
- 1750 songs - peasy
- 2000 songs - lemon squeezy!
- 3 books from list - nope
- 3 movies from list - yep
- Keep hair short and sexy - yep, though I would benefit from shorter intervals between visits to the barber
- Whiten teeth more - completed
- Drink lots of water each day - completed, in part thanks to the hydroflask my girl got me
- Take care of skin - sure, why not

All in all, MUCH better than last semester, which isn't saying much. Gonna try to have less goals next semester. Keep things simple. I'm calling this semester a success, though not a resounding one.

Biggest failures were probably not making any guy friends, the C, and not making much money.

Biggest successes were my music progression, 4 As, and of course my relationship, which I think I scored a 99/100 on. At least considering what my goals with her were, I'm not saying there isn't room for much improvement.
Always,
Ambiance


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Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Jun 13, 2019 9:31 pm

SUMMER 2019

First few days were productive, despite missing my girl. After that, I've been pretty lazy. Been staying up late and sleeping in. Vicious cycle, especially when you're not tired at 1 AM. Been gaming too much, one of my probably two vices. I do have a few jobs lined up, that will get me lots of dough should they work out. More info later.

Girls
Destiny and I text every day. It isn't very fulfilling. It's mostly her telling me about her day, and up until today how stressed she has been with finals. I wish she was more inclined to sexting the way Alexis was, but usually its me doing all the work. Facetime is better, when kept infrequent. I wish she'd ask about my stuff more often. Kinda feels like Mad Men, where Don is telling Betty Roger had a heart attack, and 30 seconds later she is spouting about her latest of turmoils.

One thing that's been on my mind is Chase's advice to stay sharp in relationships by continuing to meet other girls. Much as I love Destiny, I miss the thrill of the hunt. Not having her around is difficult too. I will not hurt her, but it would be prudent to keep bringing girls into my life. How far do I take it though? I don't like the idea of half measures. I guess I could friendzone chicks the same way they do it to us guys. This is one of the few times in my life I've wanted a social circle, where I could hang out with girls without expectations. Gonna have to figure this one out.

Ran into Kristine at my club today, more or less in the same spot where I first met her. She was caught off guard, but happy to see me. Gave her an amused smile, then talked to her off and on throughout her shift while I ate my meal. We flirted a bit, but I was mainly toying with her and didn't try to take it past a certain point. She mentioned her new apartment a few times, and I called her out on it chase frame style. As experienced as she is, I know the game better than she does. After leaving, she sent me a long text saying how good it was to see me. I was nice back, but I'm not pursuing anything while in a relationship. Just laying groundwork for the future should I need it.

General
Have spent a lot of time with my siblings and my best friend. Working out is going pretty well, though I pulled something and have had to be careful. Have spent a good amount of time with my dying grandad, who has gotten much worse since I left for the spring. My dad drives me crazy on a daily basis. That's about it. I have some summer goals, but they're not fleshed out enough to post them, so think I'll wrap up.
Always,
Ambiance


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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Seppuku » Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:10 am

Hey Ambiance,

Ambiance wrote:SUMMER 2019
One thing that's been on my mind is Chase's advice to stay sharp in relationships by continuing to meet other girls. Much as I love Destiny, I miss the thrill of the hunt. Not having her around is difficult too. I will not hurt her, but it would be prudent to keep bringing girls into my life. How far do I take it though? I don't like the idea of half measures.

It is a very good thing for yourself to keep knowing that you can get girls - even if you don't go all the way! Part of the reasons Destiny got attracted to you is your "Lion vibe" - the guy that can fuck girls and knows it. I have found in my own experience of relationships that it is important to keep this vibe on, in order to keep the attraction on. Girls are attracted by the Lion, and when they get one, they try to turn him into a domestic pet. But when the Lion has become a gentle pussy cat, they realize he's no longer the Lion they loved, and start losing attraction.

Keep the Lion alive :-)

There wouldn't be anything wrong to keep your good friend Mr Dick entertained as long as it's a "no big deal" adventure. We guys are able to keep our emotions out of it. But well, if having a quick fling with a girl makes you feel guilty, you could at least try going up to the point that you know that you could have her. Such as stopping short of escalation. Overall good for your mind and vibe, and at the same time help to keep your girl attracted.
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:29 am

@Seppuku

Great analogy! Some of the best moments of my relationship have been after me exhibiting strong Lion tendencies. For instance, when Destiny finally got me to tell her how experienced I am, she was bewildered and then got super turned on. Think we fucked 4 or 5 times that day. And don't even get me started when she found out I've been with two women at once before (even though I didn't fuck both of them). I still hear about that on a weekly basis. When I get her tipsy she often goes on a rant about all the bitches at my school who keep stealing looks at me;)

Regarding flings... I don't see much wrong with them in essence. Especially if they don't affect one's girl. I think that's just the nature of men of strength. I do believe they have a propensity to cause someone a world of hurt however. Someday if I decide that true monogamy is not for me, I'd be fine getting some side action so long as either my partner were to never know (or turn a blind eye towards) or if I established my needs to her and she understood. I will never have a two way open relationship however (FBs and maybe low end MLTRs exempted). I'm way too possessive/jealous, which I believe is my prerogative as a man. Anyway, until that day though, I'm gonna keep it to flirting.

As always, thanks for commenting! Super cool to see your articles on the main site. Especially enjoyed your article about the first date being one's best chance.
Always,
Ambiance


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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Thu Sep 05, 2019 1:08 am

SUMMER OVERVIEW

Recently started reading The Unchained Man by Blackdragon. Excellent book, highly recommend. Gonna start using his categories for life management.

Family
Spent a good amount of time, though not as much as I wanted, with my siblings. They are two of my favorite people on Earth, and as they get older our relationships keep improving.

Did not do so well with the rest of my family haha. My grandma (erroneously) accused me of breaking into her house to sneak Destiny out. She did this with very little evidence to warrant her claims (probably because my grandad is dying and she is not handling it well). Not only that, but she never confronted me about it, and my dad took about a week to, so for a week they were total asses to me and I had no idea why. When my dad did bring it up, he was ready to throw me out of the house. I was beyond furious, to the point of smashing stuff, but cooler heads prevailed and I righted the damage. I cut my investment in my grandma in half afterward though. I also ripped her for the part she played in ruining my first semester of college, something I never really did before.

I also blew up at my aunt after she broke something in my car for the umpteenth time. This was something I did not handle well, and I later apologized, but I am still very frustrated with how she handled the damage and ended up never doing shit to fix it.

This all has led me to finally put my foot down. I am not going back there next summer. At the very most, I'd get a place with my best friend for the summer. I would much rather stay in CA however, especially with Destiny being here and having a lease. The question will be how to see my siblings (and my best friend).

Lastly, my mom and I did not have a great summer. It was going well until one day she blew up at my brother big time. It was so bad I felt compelled to take my siblings out for some time. When I dropped them back off, I was colder than I ever have been towards her. Usually when she pulls shit like this I either calmly criticize her, or antagonize her, but not this time.

Can't wait to have my own family someday, free of all this shit I've had to deal with my whole life.

Financial
My finances are the worst they have ever been. I only worked for half the summer due to my own laziness in securing a job. For the first time in my life I ran out of cash. This has since been negated thanks to working the second half of summer and getting cash from my dad per our agreement for me getting A's.

This semester my finances are taking a much more central role. I have broad plans to make at the very least $750 after tax/month, including setting up a tutoring service for AP classes/the ACT. I took 11 APs in high school and got 4s and 5s on 8 of the tests, and of course my 35 on the ACt should be a great way to attract clients. More on this later. I also am more proactive looking for other low time commitment/high reward opportunities, and have several things lined up.

Physical
Wonderful progress here! Redesigned my lifting regimen, and was extremely consistent in getting four lifts a week. Started getting 255 for 4x8 reps on bench, then 265, then 275. This was after over a year of going back and forth between 235 and 245. My last week in Colorado I maxed out at 350. May have been able to get 365 had I eaten and slept well prior. I went up in a bunch of my other lifts too, and started deadlifting, maxing out at 405. That has ways to go to become as exceptional as my bench, but I was still easily the best deadlifter in the gym.

I also took first a week, than over and entire month off sweets! Never thought I could have done this a year ago, but it was easy! My cravings for sweets have gone down, and I have a light 4-pack now. If I can get my BF% down I will finally have a 6 or even 8-pack. Now that I have reached 275 for reps I'm tempted to start cutting, but I also really want to get 405.

Recreational
This was a big focus this summer. Played a lot of games on my iPad, and reminisced over some of my old favorite console games. Also watched a good amount of tv series, including getting my friend into Mad Men. Rick and Morty was probably my favorite find of the summer; Rick is such a great character. The show is funny as hell, and can hit you hard when you least expect it.

I deleted the games that distracted me all summer upon getting to SD. I won't be redownloading them, or getting others. Cutting recreational time is probably the best thing I can do this upcoming semester. I need to be using my free time to develop my ability to make money on my own, or do more productive activities like read or add new music.

That said, I am very excited for Rick and Morty s4, Better Call Saul s5, the new Breaking Bad movie, and a few other things I am forgetting. None of which should take too much time in total.

Now to talk about music. Broke both the 2500 and 2750 song thresholds, and have almost 250 albums rated on Rate Your Music. Melodic Death Metal was the king of the summer, fronted by Dark Tranquillity, Belakor, Scar Symmetry, Insomnium, and Wintersun, with a bunch of new and promising discoveries. I still adore Power Metal, always will, and listened to Kamelot more than anyone other than Dark Tranquillity. Gothic Metal is also a favorite of mine, of which I love Type O Negative, Moonspell, and early The Gathering. Rising genres are Prog, Doom, and Death metal.

Social
Another category that needs fine-tuning, but will probably receive less of my focus while I try to become financially stable. Over the summer I hung out with my best friend 4 times a week, with us trying to time our lifts together and compensating when we couldn't. Man, I love that guy. I also met some people working at the country club, and had some very fun interactions. I also hung out with my dad's girlfriend's son a few times.

Beyond that, was not very social. This is soon to be the biggest hole in my life once I get my finances taken care of, and I really do want to revamp my social life for the better the same way I did with my women life over the past 4 years. Its just a tertiary priority right now.

Spiritual
Not much new to report here. I am sort of a Christian/Deist hybrid. I hate applied religion with a passion and prize knowing what you don't know. That said religion in theory could be great, but unfortunately most of what I have come across is anathema to my beliefs. Religion, philosophy, and science are man's best tools to reach for the divine, yet they all fall short. This leaves us the masters of our own destiny, able to create our own meaning, at least until death.

Anyway I am not going to church, other than when I feel like going with my best friend's family (food is usually involved haha), and only pray when I feel compelled to. I am pretty satisfied with where my spirituality is at, after having spent a lot of thought and energy getting there.

Women
Here we go. This summer was ridiculously challenging. I texted my girl everyday, and probably averaged facetiming her once a week, which was a good amount. She came out the end of June and we had a wonderful week. I pulled out all the stops to set up some fun activities, including going to one of my favorite places, Water World. While there, I went to get my girl a slushie and met another Fascination Girl I totally hit it off with. We talked for 5 minutes or so, but I broke the interaction off without going for a number or anything. I am so in love with my girl, and yet that girl still got to me. This interaction led to some difficult questions I will get to in a bit.

Anyway, we had a blast, and it was very hard saying goodbye to her. Two months went by before I saw her again. During this time, in spite of being crazy for her, I was beyond tempted to cheat. A handful of my old flames got in touch, and I met other super cute girls at restaurants and the club. Knowing what I know, it is in man's nature to not be monogamous. I also know that it is kind of expected for Alphas to cheat, as Blackdragon would put it. The closest I came to cheating was driving to a girl I fucked last summer's house, with her expecting to have sex. But in the end, I held strong to my conviction to not break my word, and I apologized to the girl that I couldn't do anything with her while in a relationship. Was so difficult, and I questioned myself over it the rest of the summer, all while entertaining the thought of doing something with all the other girls hitting me up or flirting with me.

I've realized that cheating is a path I never want to go down. Now that my girl and I are back together the need for other women has gone down substantially, but should it ever become too unbearable I will verbalize my predicament and either restructure the relationship or break up. I also will not take another monogamous girlfriend for a very long time, assuming things with my girl don't ultimately workout. For the time being though, she is more than enough.

I flew her in for a few days before we then drove to SD from Denver. We had one incident where she got visibly depressed while with my friend, embarrassing me, but since then she has surprised me yet again by more than making up for it. I love this girl. The last day she was with me before her dad picked her up was one of the best of our entire relationship, which is really saying something. The past week with her felt like a second honeymoon period. I also have gotten her to sext with me much more than before, with the help of good old operant conditioning, and she now loves giving me head.

...

Whew, that was a long post!

Overall, I'd give this summer a 5/10. Lifting, music, and hanging with my best friend, plus Destiny's visits were terrfic, but I dealt with a lot of shit and didn't make much money. Part of the problem was I didn't have any goals for this summer, other than improve my lifts, hit 2500 and 2750 songs, and see Destiny.

Next post will be about Fall Semester goals. Gonna do less of them, and make them more concrete and doable.
Always,
Ambiance


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Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Ambiance's Ascension

Postby Ambiance » Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:40 pm

FALL 2019 GOALS

Family
- Talk with siblings periodically
- Stay on good terms with father

Financial
- Get 5 As, and by extension $15000
- Start tutoring business
- Make at least $750 each month
- Secure internship for summer
- Minimize spending

Physical
- Bench 375
- Deadlift 500
- Hit 12%BF
- Swim/tan several times a week
- Keep hair short and tidy
- Wash skin daily

Recreational
- 3000 songs
- 3500 songs
- 333 albums
- Read 5 books
- Minimize gaming, youtube, reddit, and similar

Social
- Host my best friend
- Visit my best friend
- Make one new great friend

Spiritual
- N/A

Women
- Maintain strong relationship
Always,
Ambiance


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