Radeng: rebirth

radeng

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
76
Hi GC friends. I have been off the boards for close to 2 years now. I had all my old posts taken down because my LTR found GC on an old iPad and figured out that I was posting on here - some drama ensued, and I had Chase delete my posts for reputation safety if things went sour. Eh if she finds this now - its whatever. Hopefully she's not stalking me. Our relationship ended a few months ago and I spent some time mourning, I have hooked up with a few girls since then and went on a quite a few dates since then.

For background: I am 30, white guy, living in a small south eastern city. Its meh, and in the next year my goal is to move to a city with more than a million people. Don't necessarily have a preference just where... just where the mating market is bigger and friendlier to guys in there 30s than my southern town. I've done pick up a long time and my game is fairly solid, but I am still no where as good and consistent as I was before I got in my LTR. Also, I should note, i picked up my LTR using methods from GC and she was close to dream girl level for me. The main retracting factors were some value differences that made us incompatible. However, I am moving forward in life now with all confidence that I can have it all, and if not, I can at least have a hella good time meeting women and taking lovers while I am looking for the next thing along the way.

My long term goal is to find another LTR in the next 3-5 years and to have high quality, high integrity, beautiful women consistently in my life before that point and possibly have children with LTR in my late 30s. I haven't made up my mind about the child thing. but ya know, thats a long way out.

I think my goal is somewhat unattainable in my current city. While I can get those things here, the sheer lower number of women a smaller city provides, and the types of women who are attracted to smaller southern cities are not necessarily my cup of tea. However, my city is plenty good enough to sharpen my skills while I am here for the next year or so more.

My short term goal is to continue having fun picking up girls and also get a few fuck buddies as right now I really have none. Not a big deal, but i don't have the time to sink into going out that I did in years past as I am very busy with my career at the moment. So it would be really nice to have a very casual girlfriend.

LR: NYE in Atl
I wanted to quickly write this up to document. I went out NYE to a party in Atlanta that was hella fun. Got very drunk and pulled a cute Asain girl. She came back to my buddies couch with me --- I almost lost her because she wanted to go home. So she had a friend pick her up. I was able to convince her to invite me over, got an Uber to her place and sealed the deal. I would go into more detail, but I was faded that night and things happened fast and it was a few weeks ago now.

Some highlights.
- She invested and got us a couple bottles of champagne from VIP and popped it with me.
- missed the countdown and we did our own after a song ended and a lot of people looked/laughed and we made out.
- She texted me after she left saying she lost an earring - so I stole my buddies girls earring as an excuse to go to her place and seal the deal.
- before she left the first time, she gave me a quick blowie on the stairs of my buddies apartment, which was fun.

Things to work on:
- the sex was bad. Aka I was bad lol. I came too early and then was half limp the rest of the night. Plus I was shitty drunk.

Date Reports
So i want to quickly mention that I have been going on dates every week and getting very close to securing a fuck buddy. However, I am ending up with failed escalation scenarios because of LMR and a bit of lost calibration on my end.

Turning dates into what I want is a sticking point of mine and I am adopting a 2 date system because of my terrible abilities to seal the deal on the first date have lead to me to lose 2 girls I really liked. 1 i failed escalation on the first date, but she gave me a #metoo lecture on the date which scared the fucking shit out of me. but I still thought shed be down. I was very careful with her not to push it. But ya know, failed escalations are 90% of the time deal breakers for most girls.

The other girl was date #2, in which I just did an informational date on first date and cooked dinner on second. We fooled around but she didn't give me the green light. I am personally against using high pressure LMR tactics. However, there are a fews things I should have done but I didn't. I didn't get her playing with my cock, which I think she would have been into it at that point and there were a couple of "fits of passion" as we were making out that we started to move toward sex, but her logical brain took over before we made the move all the way.

Something that I was thinking about was that I have had some failed escalations that have led to more things later in line with me and the girl. The thing that my failed escalations have in common was that we did some form of sex to completion. AKA the escalation led to her giving me a hand job, and or blow job and the girls didn't ghost me.

I am also curious to experiment with moving escalations out to 4th and 5th dates even, as I have some buddies who do this naturally and do fairly well on tinder/bumble with the slow game. I know thats against the rules of chase, but hey, rules are meant to be experimented with and broken. And there are so many variables in dating, it is hard to pin point one always working method.

FR: out on the town

So last night I went out with a buddy and my game was the best it has been since I have been practicing pick up again. I was number closing and opening every girl with smooth quiet confidence and powerful fundamentals. It was an "on" night that I really needed. However, it was also a dead night on the town. Very few people were out, and I wasn't able to pull. I did -- make out with a married woman who was very cute who is supposedly getting a divorce soon -- got the number of a few other chicks -- and got the number of a very beautiful lawyer with these amazing dimples. I need to be asking for more investment from girls sooner -- aka moving them and screening them for pull home closes. But over all my fundamentals are getting back to mid/late 2015 levels before I quit pickup for my monogamous gf. Only a matter of time before I start closing more from night game. Also as spring roles around things will get MUCH better with my cities night life scene as the bitter cold keeps the cuties cuddled up indoors on the weekends many times.

I am excited to see what happens as I completely start over in pick up. This is the first time since I was 25 that I am in a position with a totally fresh slate. I have nothing going on with women right now other than my pickup skills that I have worked on for many years. But no FBs or even friends that are girls at the moment. I know I am not as good in some ways as I once was, but in other ways I have grown tremendously, I think my skills will be back to 100% in the coming months and the new base level of life confidence that I have continues to rise, my career is getting better, and life is still on the up and up for me despite some hiccups here and there.

Anyway, its great to be back guys and seeing the old and new names around here! Can't wait to start contributing to the community again.

Radeng
 

Big Daddy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 26, 2013
Messages
709
Great to have you back brotha!

I had all my old posts taken down because my LTR found GC on an old iPad and figured out that I was posting on here - some drama ensued, and I had Chase delete my posts for reputation safety if things went sour. Eh if she finds this now - its whatever.
Sheit, that sucks. I just opened a thread in Off Topic about this! Talk about timing. Do you mind sharing more details about the drama and the whole reputation thing?

Did this happen at the beginning of the LTR or at the end? What kind of shit did she give you for posting here, read LRs and stuff like that? Threatened telling someone?
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Hey Radeng,

Welcome back!

radeng said:
Hi GC friends. I have been off the boards for close to 2 years now. I had all my old posts taken down because my LTR found GC on an old iPad and figured out that I was posting on here - some drama ensued, and I had Chase delete my posts for reputation safety if things went sour. Eh if she finds this now - its whatever. Hopefully she's not stalking me. Our relationship ended a few months ago and I spent some time mourning, I have hooked up with a few girls since then and went on a quite a few dates since then.
That's too bad because you made some solid contributions to these Boards over the years. But I fully understand the concern. But have you considered changing your pseudo here?

On another note, this seems to be another case of the fateful 2 years LTR mark. I would be very curious to know if the GC techniques can help to beat the 2 years mark. I haven't been able to prove the point myself so far...

My long term goal is to find another LTR in the next 3-5 years and to have high quality, high integrity, beautiful women consistently in my life before that point and possibly have children with LTR in my late 30s. I haven't made up my mind about the child thing. but ya know, thats a long way out.
Plus, the decision may not be up to you! No matter how much we think we are in control, when a girl has some procreation plans in mind, she's ready for anything. This recent LR of mine was enlightening.

Things to work on:
- the sex was bad. Aka I was bad lol. I came too early and then was half limp the rest of the night. Plus I was shitty drunk.
Alcohol usually makes for shitty sex. You will also find that, in your thirties, it takes longer time to recover from a late (and/or drunk) night out.

Turning dates into what I want is a sticking point of mine and I am adopting a 2 date system because of my terrible abilities to seal the deal on the first date have lead to me to lose 2 girls I really liked. 1 i failed escalation on the first date, but she gave me a #metoo lecture on the date which scared the fucking shit out of me
Yeah in light of the hysteria going on in the States at the moment, it may be more prudent to go a little more conventional. It's just insane what is going on in your country!

A two dates system can work well also, it is a little bit more advanced because on date 1 you need to build just enough excitement / tension so that she wants to see you again - but not enough that her excitement crests and she autorejects like in a failed escalation. It's a matter of calibration and dosage. The same should apply to 4 or 5 dates model (to your other point). An experienced guy can succeed here where a complete newbie would break his back.

I know I am not as good in some ways as I once was, but in other ways I have grown tremendously, I think my skills will be back to 100% in the coming months and the new base level of life confidence that I have continues to rise, my career is getting better, and life is still on the up and up for me despite some hiccups here and there.
How fast can you get back to your former level after a break? I think this question has been raised many times on the Boards. I'm interested, too. Looking forward to read more of your second journey!
 

Ambiance

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 8, 2015
Messages
497
Location
Beyond the Great Vast Forest
I'm posting here so I can keep up with your progress. Remember reading some of your old posts before they got taken down- they were fire. Glad to have you back Radeng, and look forward to seeing your progress!

Ambiance
 

ProblemSolving

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
467
Good to have you back radeng!

radeng said:
However, I am ending up with failed escalation scenarios because of LMR and a bit of lost calibration on my end.

In my opinion resistance when things get sexual comes in one of two flavors.

1) She's super inexperienced (usually young) and not expecting or comfortable with the idea fast sex. These girls can really dig you, but they are shy and inexperienced, and they will take more time to get comfortable with you. You'll be able to sniff these inexperienced girls out when you get them back to your pad. If her body language is closed off (crossed arms or knees pulled up to her chest), she ain't ready. Get her out of there and keep the date PG. That's what she expects from you. Trying to fuck her is just going to scare her off, even if she thought you were the shit before the date started. I scared off way too many shy, inexperienced girls, by pushing too hard too soon before I learned to take my foot off the gas pedal.

2) She's experienced, but she resists sex because you might think she's easy and not consider her as girlfriend material. Again, you'll be able to sniff her out when you get her back to your pad. If her body language is open and she looks at ease, she's comfortable enough for sex. She likes you and wants to have sex, but she resists because she's hoping for something long term. With these girls, you can often arouse them enough so they stop resisting, but in the event that all your attempts fail, it's time to have a heart-to-heart. When all the sexual tension is gone, I tell her straight up that: "I don't want you to think that I'm just interested in sex. I had a good time tonight and I like spending time with you". This is to give you more attainability, so she doesn't think that you just wanted to use her for sex. I have had girls thank me for saying that and on date 2 they couldn't wait to have sex.


radeng said:
I am also curious to experiment with moving escalations out to 4th and 5th dates even, as I have some buddies who do this naturally and do fairly well on tinder/bumble with the slow game.

You are welcome to try, but the more steps involved in a plan, the more likely something will go wrong. Just like you can lose girls by moving too fast, you can also lose girls by moving too slow. Being able to adapt on the fly will maximize your opportunities. The most reliable way I can describe when a girl is ready for sex is that you will get the sense that, "this chick really digs me". It's basically a girls way of showing you that she's ready.

The shy, inexperienced girls won't really know how to "show" you this, so you have to play close attention to their body language because the body never lies.
 

radeng

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
76
First off, thanks for the warm welcome back boys.

Big Daddy said:
Great to have you back brotha!...

Did this happen at the beginning of the LTR or at the end? What kind of shit did she give you for posting here, read LRs and stuff like that? Threatened telling someone?

Thanks Big Daddy, good to see ya still around! It happened in the middle of the relationship, about a year in. It was definitely dramatic and nearly ended our relationship, but MAINLY because she read so much shit about herself. Most of it was complimentary, but she understandably felt very violated that I was discussing personal things about her with strangers. She didn't threaten, but I was worried that if we ended she would show her friends/family and I would just prefer to not be the subject of scrutiny there. Really, it turned out just to be a bump in the road for us and not too big of deal in the course of the relationship. She knew I had quite a colorful dating life before I had met her before then anyway.

Seppuku said:
Welcome back!...
That's too bad because you made some solid contributions to these Boards over the years. But I fully understand the concern. But have you considered changing your pseudo here?

Seppuku! Great to see you still here and killing it harder than ever man. Great inspiration. I have thought about it, but I ultimately decided against it. I may change my mind, but realistically, the only reason I would change it now is to preserve my exes perception of me if she were to ever check back here. While I do have a great deal of respect and admiration for her, I don't think I will be seeing her again, and ultimately, it doesn't matter that much what she thinks of me.

On another note, this seems to be another case of the fateful 2 years LTR mark. I would be very curious to know if the GC techniques can help to beat the 2 years mark. I haven't been able to prove the point myself so far...

In this circumstance the relationship ended because she moved far away. We tried for a few months, but distance just made the rship crumble. In the end I believe she had lost most attraction for me and the breakup was mutual. Im sure she misses me, but she was in love with me when we were together, and after the move the attraction just slowly faded. I did encourage her to move away and chase her dreams in the first place. It was the right thing for her to do. I think I will leave my discussion of the relationship to that. There's not much lessons to be learned other than don't try long distance. I do really think GC has relationship management nailed tho and I believe my understanding of that from here was really beneficial to our relationship. I do think that the long term health of a relationship has more to do with good mate choice, rather than any skills or techniques. Although understanding the psychology at play in long term relationships helps dramatically.

Plus, the decision may not be up to you! No matter how much we think we are in control, when a girl has some procreation plans in mind, she's ready for anything. This recent LR of mine was enlightening.
Haha that is crazy. Great story and important lesson though.

A two dates system can work well also, it is a little bit more advanced because on date 1 you need to build just enough excitement / tension so that she wants to see you again - but not enough that her excitement crests and she autorejects like in a failed escalation. It's a matter of calibration and dosage. The same should apply to 4 or 5 dates model (to your other point). An experienced guy can succeed here where a complete newbie would break his back.

Interesting. My experimentation with 2 dates hasn't gotten me far, so far. Altho my sample size is really small right now. I plan on doing a lot more experimenting with dates this year. I have a buddy who recommended I stop taking dates out on weekdays and start scheduling them for the weekend since girls are more relaxed with no work the next day. It is interesting, I got a very excited second date with a girl I cut the date early and did not kiss good bye, and the other few dates I did kiss good bye went cold afterwards. Such interesting psychology at play there.

How fast can you get back to your former level after a break? I think this question has been raised many times on the Boards. I'm interested, too. Looking forward to read more of your second journey!

Hmm I have been thinking about this a lot. And I would say that I honestly haven't lost too much in terms of skill. I have already pulled twice now in a little over a month from bars. I don't have approach anxiety, and altho I am rusty around the edges and have definitely missed signals I would have read and gotten through sticky situations more confidently at my previous level, I am really not too far off. Im a little rusty at grabbing numbers comparatively but not too far off on that either. I had great timing before, and I got every girls number. I forget a lot to ask then miss my window. Still getting enough #s to stay busy though.

My biggest loss has been my mental model shift. My core confidence is much lower. I am much more pessimistic about life. I am learning about how to be happy and confident single guy again. I am fighting off anxiety and low self esteem. This bleeds over into my life with women in the fact that I give up/ act judgmental/ have low motivation where I used to be extremely motivated. A big piece of me still feels very sad about that loss of my ex. Logically I know this is silly, and that I will not see her again. I don't have great control over my emotions at the moment. I used to be pretty icy, and I am sure I will be again soon, but right now, I'm still a bit tender hearted and my motivation is really coming from a place of logical investment and a sense of "I have to do this" rather than a sense of "I want to do this and I am excited about this". However, I think this is all generally healthy and that getting over an LTR will take some time. I have never looked at the goal of seduction as to avoid being hurt and feeling pain. Rather, it is about having the knowledge that you can get exactly what you want out of life if you are willing to work for it. I am just making myself workout the process right now until it becomes more fun again and I am actually ready to really succeed. I think until then, I will be a bit of a shadow of what I was even if my skill is not too different. I hope that by just going through the process now, in a few months when I have healed a bit more emotionally, the seasons have changed, I've got my single life eco system back together, then I can really evaluate the shift. For now, I would say that getting out of the game for an LTR doesn't make you lose too much skill, it just shifts your mental model quite a bit which makes reestablishing your old mental model a time consuming thing. Also something to note, is that, in my "sadness" I have been really outcome independent which is crucial for good interactions.

Ambiance said:
I'm posting here so I can keep up with your progress. Remember reading some of your old posts before they got taken down- they were fire. Glad to have you back Radeng, and look forward to seeing your progress!

Ambiance

Thanks ambiance! Been reading some of yours for motivation lately! Not so bad yourself!

ProblemSolving said:
Good to have you back radeng!

Great seeing you back, ProblemSolving. And as always, you hit the nail on the head with your tips. One thing I have lost a bit of is my attention to body language and ability to read it. I think I have been slightly off on hitting windows since being back in the game. But I will go back and reread this before every date! I know exactly the feeling and every girl I have brought home from a date, I knew well before that things were going to go smooth, just from the signals. Looking forward to more of your sage advice as always. As I said earlier, I hope to do lots of experimentation this year and get lays from dates to become a strength rather than a weakness.

---------------------------------------

LR: The girl next door

So I met this girl out last weekend with a textbook PUA approach. I saw an average/cute girl with big glasses on that went low on her nose. It is a very nerdy look, but also really cute in its own way, and she had cute dimples and a nice smile as well. She wasn't especially hot, but she also wasn't bad looking. Just a normal girl. As she was walking by, I stopped her with an hand on her arm and a confident, "Excuse me miss!" -- she was with a friend.

me: Excuse me, miss! I just noticed you had the cutest look about you with those big rimmed glasses.

I can't remember exactly where I went with this but I just riffed on her glasses for a minute and how she pulled off the sexy nerd look. My buddy was with me, and we walked the girls over to get a beer. They seemed interested and said they were supposed to meet other friends out but we seemed more fun. We drank a beer with them and invited them to the next bar and they agreed. At the next bar we got a little more touchy and took some selfies for snap chat, and grabbed another beer. She had a great personality and was very fun. We started talking and I found out she's relatively(6 months) new to my city and a 23 yr old PHD student and the big kicker... she lives in my apartment complex... and even the bigger kicker... she's my fucking neighbor.

At this point, I basically stop trying as I already know were going home together and we were being flirty enough and had all the right ingredients for a pull even if she didn't live right fucking beside me. We go to another bar and dance for a while, take a shot together, and head back home. Back home, we went in, flipped on the tube, and immediately started making out. It was minutes before we were going at it on the couch. The sex was good and she went back to her place afterwards. She asked to stay, but i suggested we part ways lol. I was pretty drunk, and probably wasn't the nicest move.

I invited her to hang again this week, but she rejected me, then again another night. This past weekend, I was not feeling well. I went out with a buddy and she messaged me to meet up. We met up at a bar again and went home together and it was a peculiar night. I had been worrying all week that she didn't like me and I was feeling desperate for her approval, then when I got her back home, we had great long sex, and after wards, I just felt disgusted.

I have never really felt like that after sex, but I did with this girl. See after sex she wanted to spend the night again, and I said ok, trying not to be a dick. She cuddled up with me, and it was just too remeniscient of being in an LTR. I couldn't stop comparing her to my ex. It gave me anxiety and made me feel shitty about myself and about the girl, even though attraction wise, there wasn't anything particularly wrong with the girl. She wasn't a knockout no, but I have definitely hooked up with less attractive girls than her. This is somewhat of what I mean about being mentally rusty. I am not sure if I am setting expectations correctly anymore. -- that being said I also used to be very strict about hooking up with girls that weren't GF material no more than once or twice max. I don't have that same conviction now. I am trying to just get a fuck buddy, and I think I have succeeded, but I am not sure if I like the implications right now. I am having a hard enough time managing my own damn emotions lol. Oh well. My reptilian brain overcomes. I'm sure it won't be the last time I hook up with this girl. I hope I do not hurt her.

Other than that news I haven't had any other dates the past couple of weeks and my other nights out have been shit for pick up. However, last weekend I was feeling sick with a sore throat and I was tired from working long hours at work and I was super sweating neighbor girl until I actually got her and I didn't like it all. So yea. ha.

Looking forward

So I know one reason for my current degraded mental state is this. In 2017, I was on point as a beacon of responsibility. I worked out 3-4 times a week, and I was working 60-80 hours a week on career. It paid off in a big way, but it was draining. I lost a lot of more social connections in favor of work connections and I barely took any time off. When my ex and I split I wanted to break away from over worked guy I had become, and get myself in a more emotional mindset so I could resume pick up again. And honestly, I wanted to just be a piece of shit for a while just from the shitty feelings you get after a break up. So the last couple months I have been drinking like a fish and smoking enough to live in the clouds. (I've been high as shit). It's been really nice, but I am starting to hit the unhealthy point and this week, I'm trying to ditch the unhealthy habits again and find a bit more balance.

I think moving back to a more healthy lifestyle, filled with healthy food, exercise, meditation, and less mind altering substance will be hugely beneficial and I feel I am at a point I don't need it as a crutch to get women. I am looking forward to also writing more at night as I won't be stoned watching Netflix as much lol.

Anyways fellas, cheers to you all, we will see how things go as I both try to clean up my act and hit the dating scene as hard as ever!
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Radeng,

Didn't realize you were around again, dope to have you back around the boards pimp ;0

Man I went through a really fucked up patch of life about a year ago and lived like a piece of shit for a good while before I graduated college in August. I was smoking weed everyday (and before I had been fully sober for 4 years), drinking a bit, watching Netflix by myself day after day, and eating dumbass food choices. I even tried to find a prostitute but I couldn't successfully figure out the dark internet and gave up to watch porn instead. I went on 2 dates in 2017 (I did lay one of those gils however). My life was not a pretty picture haha.

But deep down I knew that this wasn't me, and I was just physically/spiritually weak and I didn't have a lot of will power so I just yielded to my present state of body and mind and let myself indulge and be depressed. I knew I wouldn't allow myself to stay like this forever and then once I graduated college and moved back to my hometown I smoked my last joint on the interstate drive home, masturbated to porn for the last time in a trucker parking lot at an exit in my car in broad daylight (LOL), and ate my last donut at that same trucker parkinglot after I came inside a McDonalds bag. That was the last piece of shit move I made.

Since then I've began eating religiously healthy, I began exercising again, and slowly rebuilding back my life one piece at a time now that my physical and spiritual strength has returned. I've learned life has valley's and peaks and after coming out of a dark valley you really appreciate the view on the peak and have that internal strength and power that most don't. I know your the type of guy to pull himself up by the bootstraps when push comes to shove man, this is just a passing detour on the journey upwards.

As for the girl man I've been near celibate for 2 years due to life circumstances (with a brief 1 sexual encounter last July) and I'm fully OK. I know even if I remain circumstantially celibate for another 2 years I'll be fully fine as well. I know that the day will soon come when my situation will change and I'll be up to my old shinanigans again but I don't need a girl to be happy. I'm actually happy now (and my life still kind of sucks a lot).

Guess what I'm saying is if your not really feeling excited or high self-esteem around this girl after another visit or two then dump her. Chase told me once to get my emotional strength and needs met through like minded men and not my girlfriends. Your way more experienced then me but from a outside perspective I might suggest Chase's advice and provide space for yourself and then space for a better option even if that means masturbating for month or two. But you know best, just trying to give some perspective.

Anyway man 2018 is going to be OUR fucking year son! Success and happiness and abundance are far closer than we realize. Glad to see you back around the boards man, its good to have another guy on here representing that South.

Keep it pimpin' G.

-Rob
 

radeng

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
76
FR: Bumble semi nude pics

just wanted to post this up because I am not that historically good with tinder and bumble but I am getting much better. This was a girl who was a 5-6 on bumble. hard to tell if she was even mildly attractive in person lol. I considered it a throw away, but was pleasantly surprised with some very sexy pics. Probably will attempt to fuck this girl later as a straight come over lay which I have never done from tinder or bumble oddly enough. But who knows. The convo here I felt was worth documenting as the psychology I used I feel could apply to much hotter girls. Anyway enjoy the convo. The pics she sent me showed a some nice big tits on a tiny body and its hard to tell what the over all package will be in person. I assume a bit thick, but small girl with a mediocre face, a sweet disposition, and possibly could be surprised by both as her pics seemed a bit thrown up and not her best feet forward. Could always be wrong with online tho. Her semi nudes that she sent me were really nice, altho you could tell she wasn't quite as skinny as I would like. Nice proportions tho, which is almost just as important.

Heres the convo: warning it does get a bit raunchy.

her: ok love of big goofy dogs is taken care of, now what else are you looking for in a girl?
me: Hi name, you're adorable, but seem like too much a good girl for my answer I think, what about you?
her: Good girl? What makes you think that?
me: You have a very pretty, but innocent look... am I calling it all wrong?
her: Hah I look innocent? That's good to know, it could come in handy
her: I can be good, it depends on my mood
me: oh yeah? What's your mood right now?
her: hmm well I didn't want to be a good girl tonight
her: But it's late now and nothing came up so I guess Ill have to be
me: It's never too late miss. Maybe I should re-evaluate your look in person?
her: Ah no sir too late for me
her: Another time
me: I send her a pic of me chilling with my dog
me: If its not fun you can play with my pup
her: I'm so pleasantly surprised that wasn't a dick pic
me: Haha I don't send dick pics until after we have amazing sex
me: sorry
her: well that is a very tempting offer and I'd really like to take you up on it
her: but not tonight
me: Well thats disappointing, bc for a minute I though you actually might not be so innocent and that I was going to get to do some dirty things to you tonight.
her: oh damn not the reverse psychology
her: don't do that to me
me: I don't have to. You're thinking about all the dirty things you want me to do to you now. The question is are you gonna let yourself have some fun tonight??
her:sends me a pic of her face with eyes closed like she's sleeping -- honestly prettier in this pic than in all her normal pics lol which is why i said it was hard to gauge her actual hotness
her: im practically asleep
her: its too late
me: Well if theres no convincing you that being a bad girl tonight and inviting the hot guy from bumble over to make you cum many times is an amazing idea, why don't you send me a teaser of your full self instead of just your face and then well trade #s?
her: semi nude pic with hand over nipples and a bit of blanket over pussy
me: damn miss you can't even imagine the things I would do to you. Can't lie. I want more. I bet you love being so submissive when have a big hard cock deep inside you. All good girls do.
me: 55555555
her: another pic tugging down her shirt so her nipples poked through and the bottom of shirt covers pussy. Both pics were very hot
her: 55555555
me: Damn Im not gonna lie miss, Im going to eat your ass and pussy until your begging for my cock. give me a preview of that while your thinking about my cock or just do us both a favor and invite me over.
her: Ive given you enough for tonight now you need to stop turning me on and let me get some sleep. Ill still be hot another day.
me: One more so I can cum extra hard and you can dream better knowing this cum was meant to be all over you
her: Sorry, my light is officially off
her: but I do hope you think about me like that
her: and you're right i do become very submissive once I have a hard cock deep inside of me. I can be a very good girl to the right man.
me: You know Im going to make you beg for my cock soo much longer now for not sending me one more. Your pussy is going to be dripping for me before I let you have it. And when I fuck you its gonna be so hard that you'll be able to feel my cock in your throat.
me: I don't let shit like that go unpunished, miss.
her: Do what you need to do
her: Ill defer to your authority, sir
me: get some sleep and text me something sexy when you're feeling more adventurous than tonight.

So yeah, not sure if I could have done this better, felt like it was pretty good. I will probably text her this week for a booty call but not sure if this will be more of a failed escalation effect. I don't have enough experience with sexting in general to know. Holla at me with tips or criticisms. Typically my tinder and bumble game is just set up and go on date asap. This was a totally different approach for me and pleasant surprise with the pics.

PS Mr rob! thanks for the reply man I will have a long reply for you later boss! Great seeing you still on here!

cheers,
radeng
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Hey Radeng,

Your current state of mind, just out of relationship, reminds me of my own state of mind when I just got divorced. At first I was happy to get my freedom of life back (after 15 years)... But soon a number of doubts assailed me. I went through a full one year period in which I had no motivation to go out or meet anybody. I started to have questions regarding girls motivations and to see everything in black. I battled against bitterness, but finally the thought that I couldn't let myself get bitter and sad and lonely won over. I decided that I want to learn to trust again - and I'm glad I did. It's about this time in 2014 that I registered to these boards and learned dating and seduction.

That is to say: you will get better!

You had two years of normal couple, day-to-day relationship then downgraded it into a Long Distance. It's a backward progression. I am currently experiencing the reverse: a relationship with a girl that I met abroad. The context has been Long Distance since the beginning, starting slowly (we first saw each other again 6 months later) then increasing (currently meeting every two months). Each time we meet, it's in a passionate time in a unique context. We have a hope that it will normalize one day (after I leave my current job - and country). The Long Distance Relationship is progressing forward, with potential for increase and development. And so far, it's working! We're not out of the woods of course. But I guess the key to success is forward progression.

Your sexting: seems right to me! You successfully introduce yourself as a sexual man with your "You look too much of a good girl" - nice trick! Personally I would not directly mention the things I intend to do, but rather hint at them. But it's just a difference in style, I'm more into innuendos than in dirty talk. Your approach should work. With sexting you always have a risk of a failed escalation effect - like her emotions already crested and the next day she wakes up cold. But this is a solid, proven method, so you stand a good chance. Don't wait too long though.

Seppuku
 

ProblemSolving

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
467
radeng said:
I will probably text her this week for a booty call but not sure if this will be more of a failed escalation effect.

Yeah, don't get sexual with girls on the phone. I've laid a lot of girls that came straight over for sexy time, and I never get sexual on the phone. In fact, it's better to go the exact opposite direction. Invite them over for food, drinks, and or movies. When you get sexual on the phone, it puts WAY too much pressure on them when they decide to meet up with you or not. It's better to keep them wondering about what might happen when you meet up.

radeng said:
her: ok love of big goofy dogs is taken care of, now what else are you looking for in a girl?

She is not DTF. A DTF girl wouldn't be asking this question. These questions come from girls that are looking for more.

radeng said:
her: Ah no sir too late for me

Non-DTF status confirmed.

All the pics and sexual texts mean nothing. She's just entertaining herself by wasting your time. With more experience you'll see how simple and straight forward it is when you find a girl that is DTF. No walls of texts, no convincing. Just a girl that's bored (aka: horny) and wants to hang out, so you invite her over.

When you invite girls straight over to your place, find out what they are doing beforehand. If they sound bored, invite them straight over for drinks, foods, movies etc. If not, get the number under the pretext of arranging a time to get drinks or frozen yogurt. Once you have their phone number, give them a call and talk to them for a bit. If you get the sense that she'd be down for coming straight over, then do that. If she is hesitant arrange a date for a bar or frozen yogurt place.
 

radeng

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
76
Seppuku,

Regarding the LTRs, I think reverse is much better - and you are right - going from together to separated is a relationship downgrade and a backwards progression. Certainly the opposite is better. I do think it is crucial that you have control and you are not bending to her will by leaving your current job and country. You know the deal though, but sometimes if you are particularly excited over a girl you may rationalize that it is ok to give her the power for this or that, and it might be OK but the less you do it, the better you relationship will go. From personal experience, I handed the power over way too much in my LTR and rationalized it every time and every time I was like "damnit GC was right - should have stood my ground harder" and on the times that I did, and the times that I was at the helm of the ship, was the time when things went the smoothest and when we were both happiest. My girl had a very dominant personality tho, so it was a struggle to maintain control without building resentment. I'm a hard headed learner like that though, mate selection is the most important key.

PS,

ProblemSolving said:
Yeah, don't get sexual with girls on the phone. I've laid a lot of girls that came straight over for sexy time, and I never get sexual on the phone. In fact, it's better to go the exact opposite direction. Invite them over for food, drinks, and or movies. When you get sexual on the phone, it puts WAY too much pressure on them when they decide to meet up with you or not. It's better to keep them wondering about what might happen when you meet up.

I actually really, generally agree with you, but I will say there are some caveats to this. First, I really have never sexted with a girl who wasn't already a GF before. This was super novel to me and a load of fun within itself. Second, I lack some of the confidence I once had, and find myself doing better by being a bit more polarizing at this current point. I haven't quite built up enough value and confidence in moving things forward as I once had. I remember a couple of years ago I was rarely polarizing or funny or even too sexual. I just knew the right buttons to push and when to move things forward. Polarization is a tool for those of us who don't have the steps quite as tight as you do. It's easy for someone as advanced as you to forget that!

Now I also agree with you that sexting is never nescesary and anything this girl wants I could have gotten without the sexting. And I really did assume it would be more like a failed escalation. But much to my surprise, she is still down for a meet up and straight over to my place date.

ProblemSolving said:
When you invite girls straight over to your place, find out what they are doing beforehand. If they sound bored, invite them straight over for drinks, foods, movies etc. If not, get the number under the pretext of arranging a time to get drinks or frozen yogurt. Once you have their phone number, give them a call and talk to them for a bit. If you get the sense that she'd be down for coming straight over, then do that. If she is hesitant arrange a date for a bar or frozen yogurt place.

All that being said, as soon as I read this I smacked myself in the forehead for some signals that i've been missing on tinder/bumble lately. I am getting really good at setting up dates from these but I have lost a couple girls lately and i literally just realized I missed some windows where they might as well just told me to invite them over to fuck but I was trying to take them out for drinks. smh. Once again, thanks for the simplicity and solid advice. You really should write some articles or something for the main site.

Anyway, I texted sext girl today and she's still down. For the sake of following up on the story, heres the text exchange from today:

me: Hey good girl, its radeng, hows your tuesday treating you?
her:Hey radeng, It's been great, how about yourself?
me: Good deal, mine too, I was gonna see if you had some time to hang with a cute boy this week?
her: Yeah I could be into that. What did you have in mind?
me: do you like wine?
her: that depends on the wine
me: a smooth red of course, I also make a mean vodka sprite if thats your things - either way we can share some drinks
her: That sounds great. Your place?
her: Im free Thursday night.
me: Sounds perfect, miss. Promise I won't catch you peaking in my windows at random times? Ill make sure nothing has changed on Th and let you know where to go.
her: I guess that's a risk you'll have to take, I hope you're feeling adventurous. That sounds great, I'll talk to you Thursday.

Mr Rob,

First of all, congrats on graduation man! Thats awesome. Graduating college, I always say is a particularly tough time in everyones life because your forced into a huge context change/lifestyle shift thats often surrounded by tons of uncertainty and it doesn't always go exactly how we hope. It's kind of like your a pebble in a dump truck and your in an organized place with all the other same size pebbles and everyones telling you your going to the quarry to get dumped out with a bunch of other pebbles and it'll be awesome and you make new pebble friends from other dump trucks and older pebbles with be there and then the dump truck swerves off the road and rolls down a hill and scatters you all the fuck over bum fuck egypt and you land back home with your pebble family and no pebble money. Probably a terrible analogy but i rolled with it anyway. But yeah man, life is full of ups and downs, and at your age, your still killing it over all mate. I quite smoking last week and I started meditating again and I tell you what, although I haven't slept much from all the weed withdrawal lol I am starting to feel a hell of a lot better about life. Plus I bought one date and am on a huge self improvement kick again. Its time to stop feeling sorry for myself and man the fuck up. Plus, besides a small chunk of my personal life the rest of my life is actually great, and I used all my time in LTR to really upgrade my career and shit, and I am really in a great place right now on that side of life. Im in a good place to focus back on love life, women, sex, and internal self improvement and let my career coast for a bit while I gain experience.

Thats a hell of story about the parking lot, gave me a good chuckle, but i do sincerily hope everything is ok with your circumstances. Very happy to hear your getting back on your self improvement mind set. I know you were a huge inspiration to me in 2015. Reading your story on here was a huge motivating factor that made me think, 'If this kid is willing to do this and maintains such a positive attitude to reach success, I have no excuses', and then to see all the success it brought you, I remember being like damn, I have to do at least as good as Mr.Rob out here in the street lmao. Certainly don't count yourself out man you're a champ. If you need to vent about your situation and don't want to do it publicly, feel free to shoot me a DM or an email or something and we can jump on a hangout again brother. All the best to you, glad you and so many other familiar faces(errr alias names) are still around.

Cheers,
radeng
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Radeng,

First of all, congrats on graduation man! Thats awesome. Graduating college, I always say is a particularly tough time in everyones life because your forced into a huge context change/lifestyle shift thats often surrounded by tons of uncertainty and it doesn't always go exactly how we hope. It's kind of like your a pebble in a dump truck

Thanks, its funny how overrated graduating college felt to me. Society makes graduating college this HUGE awesome deal, kinda like marriage, and then you walk across the stage AND!... You get an entry level position grinding your life away! Woohoo! haha. Nothing against entry level grinding positions but society tend to focus on the graduation (that lasts 1 hr.) and not so much on the present that comes after it.

I like the pebble in a dump truck metaphor, I feel where your coming from. I actually had some really sweet job offers upon graduation to work in San Diego but I couldn't take them as I had more pressing life circumstances to take care of so I declined all the offers. I'll probably go public with my story and make a post about what I've gone through over the past 2 years in a post once I get over this hump once and for all since it could've happened to anyone and I think it'd be good to have a resource on here for "just in case this happens".

radeng said:
Plus I bought one date and am on a huge self improvement kick again. Its time to stop feeling sorry for myself and man the fuck up.

Fuck yeah.

radeng said:
I know you were a huge inspiration to me in 2015. Reading your story on here was a huge motivating factor that made me think, 'If this kid is willing to do this and maintains such a positive attitude to reach success, I have no excuses', and then to see all the success it brought you, I remember being like damn, I have to do at least as good as Mr.Rob out here in the street lmao. Certainly don't count yourself out man you're a champ.

I really appreciate the kind words big homie. Yeah I kinda get lost in the day to day easily looking back I did have a pretty good attitude and quite a few outrageous sex encounters I still blush to talk about to this day.

If you need to vent about your situation and don't want to do it publicly, feel free to shoot me a DM or an email or something and we can jump on a hangout again brother. All the best to you, glad you and so many other familiar faces(errr alias names) are still around.

Thanks big homie, I think the suns about to start coming out from behind the clouds at this point but if seas get stormy again I'll hit you up.

Not really frequenting the Field report section too much but consider me subscribed to your journal here.

See you around the boards big bro.

-Rob
 
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