Unclear about a date, confusion?



Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:10 pm

I asked a girl out and she said yes but I’m not sure if she knows I was asking her on a date or out as friends. I plan on calling or texting to finalize details, but how do you go about making sure she”s on the same page with out making things wierd. We go to school together.(on break now)
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby BetaBoy » Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:57 am

Just text her. Don’t overthink it or you’ll stress yourself.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:10 am

What is an example of something I should say in my text?
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby BetaBoy » Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:56 pm

Tell your plans(make sure they are of mutual interest), then either ask are you busy or I could pick you up around x o clock.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Fuck This » Thu Dec 21, 2017 4:17 pm

"Hey {girl}, can pick you up at 9 tonight. Dress{warm/for dinner/to run 3 miles on trails/etc.}"

I'm going to bring {a thermos of hot chocolate/ a picnic/ my guitar/some treats for the ducks}

Bring your {fake ID/ comfortable shoes/a raincoat/ a change of clothes}
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Thu Dec 21, 2017 4:30 pm

Can’t drive, under 16, tell her to meet me in place of I’ll pick u up. Do I address that it’s a date or just leave it and make a move and gauge response
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Fuck This » Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:42 pm

Start_ed_young wrote:Can’t drive, under 16, tell her to meet me in place of I’ll pick u up. Do I address that it’s a date or just leave it and make a move and gauge response


Sigh....If it is one on one it is a date. If it is a group thing it is hanging out. I thought all you kids knew how to google...Signs it's a date for the girl.... For Guys it's a date

If you want it to be a date, treat it like a date. You don't have to give it a label, just do it.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Ashton » Fri Dec 22, 2017 5:51 pm

Sup bro,

Girls usually that a one on one meetup is a date. Even if she's part of your social circle, it must have come up to her mind at least a few times.

So just act like you've already told her that it was a date and act like it is.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Sat Dec 30, 2017 4:16 pm

Called her recently, a week ago, and long story short she said she’ll text me when she is free, haven’t heard anything back, and I think her interest is gone. What’s next?
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Regal Tiger » Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:29 pm

Ash wrote:Sup bro,

Girls usually that a one on one meetup is a date. Even if she's part of your social circle, it must have come up to her mind at least a few times.

So just act like you've already told her that it was a date and act like it is.


Always the above, assume that she's into you and the girls who are already sold on you will eat it up. The girls who are on the fence may end up getting pulled off the fence in your direction because you believe that you're attractive and they end up buying into it.

The girls who aren't into you just aren't going to be into you unless you whip out your checkbook :/

Start_ed_young wrote:Called her recently, a week ago, and long story short she said she’ll text me when she is free, haven’t heard anything back, and I think her interest is gone. What’s next?


Hard to say without more information, but the usual advice is to forget her, at least for now.

It could be that she was being genuine and just has a lot of shit going on right now, but it's usually a polite brush-off. Even if it is a polite brush-off she may come around later on down the road if you play it cool and just let her go. That's attractive behavior that tells her, and more importantly, tells yourself that you don't need her. That alone might bring her back.

On the other hand, say she was being honest and has every intention of getting back to you, you don't want to bug her all of the time about her schedule. Just give it a few weeks and send her a text and see what happens (just don't bring up the fact that she told you she'd get back to you and never did. Makes you look dumb if she's not interested and makes her look dumb if she is).

But, the fact is she isn't going on a date with you right now. She's unavailable.

Gonna have to shake it off and get back out there. Keep working on yourself as a man, learning how to dress, how to have a great conversation, how to look sexy as you walk down the street, how to have good eye contact and all of your other fundamentals. As your fundamentals level up you'll get better and better reactions.

Unfortunately, as a beginner, most of 'the game' is just plowing through until you gradually level up. But think about where you'll be at in a year! Year from you now will be a sexy motherfucker ;)
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:48 pm

Thanks again Regal Tiger,

What you said is really helpful I I think I have a good idea of how to treat this, but I would just like to clear a few things up.

First of all, I’m not sure I mentioned all ready but we Go to the same school and have classes together and mutual friends. Tomorrow we go back and she never textd anything. Now, you said something about forget her and just play it cool and maybe she will come back. I watching a video of hectors recently and he talked about a similar texting scenario where the girl brushed off the guys date proposal and he said to act borderline butt-hurt.

What he meant by this was just to say “hey” and move on with day and pretty much ignore her. Is this pretty much what you would recommend as well, and were refferkmg to when day “playing it cool” I would appreciate if you could aelaborate a little more on this piece because I imagine tomorrow should be pretty awkward. Not sure how to go about, especially since she could still be interested and forgotten about what we had talked about.

Plz help, don’t wanna let this one get away cause after her there isn’t really many options I’d like at school and I guess I’d have to find new hunting grounds. But where...?
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Regal Tiger » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:54 am

Start_ed_young wrote:Thanks again Regal Tiger,

What you said is really helpful I I think I have a good idea of how to treat this, but I would just like to clear a few things up.


Happy to help! Sorry about the late response though, hope it still gets to ya in time

First of all, I’m not sure I mentioned all ready but we Go to the same school and have classes together and mutual friends. Tomorrow we go back and she never textd anything. Now, you said something about forget her and just play it cool and maybe she will come back. I watching a video of hectors recently and he talked about a similar texting scenario where the girl brushed off the guys date proposal and he said to act borderline butt-hurt.


Never done anything like that so I'm afraid I can't comment on acting borderline butt-hurt about it. What I meant by playing it cool was, if you see her in person then be cordial and go on about your day. If she comes up to you then you can say hey and make some tiny chitchat and then just exit the conversation. Otherwise just a smile and a wave if you lock eyes and go on about your day.

No need to chase her down for a conversation, at least not yet. But make sure that you end any conversations first. You're a busy man with shit to do. And a busy man is an attractive man.

Try commenting on the video though, he may get back to ya and elaborate on it. I've not even seen it.

What he meant by this was just to say “hey” and move on with day and pretty much ignore her. Is this pretty much what you would recommend as well, and were refferkmg to when day “playing it cool” I would appreciate if you could aelaborate a little more on this piece because I imagine tomorrow should be pretty awkward. Not sure how to go about, especially since she could still be interested and forgotten about what we had talked about.


Since I'm assuming we have different styles of game, my advice will differ from Hector's as I don't want to put words in his mouth. My thoughts are that it isn't necessary to freeze a girl out that might become receptive later, but there's no possibility of you getting her to thaw out on your own either.

If you wanna try some jealousy stuff, that's the only other way I know of to get her back on your side fast. But this is playing with fire here, so don't get too carried away. Just be a sociable guy and talk to other people, men and women. That'll get you some preselection and it could bring her back around. But it could also make her auto-reject.

Hard to say without being there.

Plz help, don’t wanna let this one get away cause after her there isn’t really many options I’d like at school and I guess I’d have to find new hunting grounds. But where...?


Hunting grounds are everywhere! Unless you're in a small town where I grew up... then you should probably sign up for Hector's coaching program and/or get his book to talk about being the big man on campus. That's what my older cousin fell into by accident and every time he visits home he can pretty much guarantee getting laid from someone.

As for not wanting her to get away, that's why the general advice is to meet more women. When you're meeting new women all of the time it nukes that feeling that you're having right now. The one where she's the best option you have. Because that feeling of your heartbeat kicking up a little when you're talking to her, that leaks through your body language and in your voice when you talk to her. It tells her that you think that she's better than you. It might not even be true, but that's what you're communicating.

That's why the advice is to meet more women. It's cliche and even a little overused, but it is a cure for what you're feeling right now. When you have more women around you, or you're rock solid confident that you can replace a woman it changes you into a fucking babe magnet. Because people don't like the feeling of being needed, they like the feeling of being wanted. It's one of those super subtle things that's hard to describe unless you've felt it before.

It also comes down to self-love. The person who needs someone else does not love themselves enough, and it might not even be a conscious thought, but it is there. A person who wants a woman but doesn't need her would play it cool and go find somebody else that's a little more warm for their form. And a lot of the women that wrote person B off will come back and suck them off down the road because they realized they made a mistake.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:06 pm

Tiger you are so helpful, thanks for continuing to answer my follow up questions. And hey, no sweat on the “late response” anything within 24 hrs I would consider extremely fast man. I’m just great full with any response let alone the thought, detail, and speed of your response. I love it. And btw your response did get here in time, but I haven’t been able to comment on hectors vid yet, (gotta set up an account)

So today happened, and I’m not sure to think of how it went. I guess there’s positives and potentially negatives. First time I saw the girl this post is about she sped up and didnt look at, she was also with her sister. When we go into class though she didn’t get my attention to tell me anything like she usually does, about 70% of the time, but she did say some stuff really loudly. Just taking, but I felt it was directed at me. She said, “I just hare people who make dumb decisions or do stupid things.” (Felt it was directed at me because I do some crazy shit at school)

After the bell rang for lunch we went to lunch. (She didn’t wait talk to me or anything, which she does like 10-30% of the time, not too common.) at lunch I walk over to this table near her table, with this other girl that’s widely considered very hot and I talk to her, I’ve been doing this a while, and I’ll be honest regardless of how much they, the girls at this new table, have insulted me, told me they don’t like me, and to go away, I’m not very convinced whatsoever that they aren’t attracted to me. Even if they aren’t I still find it fun to go over there and see what outrageous shot I can come up with to say and then in return, it’s sort of a thing. They say I’m not funny and they don’t like me. Yet, every time I say something attempting to be funny they can’t help but bursting out into laughter. Also when I touch them just on the shoulder arm or back, they don’t react badly. They just let it happen.

That should give you an idea of the sort of thing I have with that table. But anyway, when we get back to class she says the same sort of thing about her disliking people who do stupid things, I hear this again but she wasn’t talking to me. Someone brings up me going to the table
Her: yea like he always does (eye roll)
Some other guy: yea, he gets it.
Her: he’s only trying to be funny
My friend: nah, he’s just trying to get uhhhh... a little something
Her: yea... a little something... that’s trying to be funny
Other guy: but he likes her
Her: hes trying to be funny
Me: I don’t find it funny that she was staring at my ass ( this was sort of a topic of conversation earlier because the girl at the other table during lunch was, and I called her out on it)
Her: yea, whatever your just trying to be funny.
Me: well then if your entertained by it, good for you.

Bell rings and our teacher comes in and we start talking to her about the event at lunch. Class ends and she hurried out the door. Throughout the rest of the day there were 3 more times I saw her but she didn’t say anything or wave. The first time she walked in on me working a group of girls and guys both, all of which have good reputations and she respects, I had them going even though I don’t know a few of them telling them a story about the teacher of the class they are in currently. This shows social prowess at least, I’m good at this sort of thing sometimes. Next time was just crossing her path in the crowded hallway, nothing odd there.

Next was a bit of an irregular one, I saw her after school at workouts, she was at the school gym with her sports team and I was there for soccer. She walked by the soccer guys when I was talking with some of the more popular upperclassmen, so she didn’t say anything again. Also since the soccer team and I were running our 7 miles that day we left and came back and I’m a freshmen and I was the first one back by about 10 minutes, sooooo, I don’t know if girls care about that sort of thing but that shows I’m hella athletic, being faster then the top seniors on the team and all.

So, that was today and I’m not 100% sure what to think about it. She didn’t acknowledge the fact that she blew me off/ flaked in me after she agreed to get together sometime over break, twice.

I know I probably didn’t handle the in class situation too well because I wasn’t cordial, but I just had to step in when she was pretty much telling me about myself like she knows what I’m about, it got to me, but I did keep my cool in my tone and expressions at least when talking to her.

Also I did take some of your other advice Regal Tiger. I thought about what you said about meeting and talking to more girls, and I’ve been able to think of about 10, at least, at my school that I’m at least somewhat attracted to and have talked to them at least a few times, but nothing much, just casual flirting I’d say. But hey that’s like 12 girls I could start talking to to lose the “your my best option mindset” and vamp up my preselectikn. 5 of which should be easy for to at least get a phone number since they already see me in a positive light.

Sorry cause this is a bit of a long one and I probably have a few pointless details in here, so again, any response will be taken with much gratitude. Thanks! If you’ve even read this far!

And also that Hanks for the recommendation in hectors book about being the big man on campus, sounds like something that would be right up my alley, cool shit, I’ll be sure to check it out, didn’t even know about it.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Regal Tiger » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:27 pm

Start_ed_young wrote: So today happened, and I’m not sure to think of how it went. I guess there’s positives and potentially negatives. First time I saw the girl this post is about she sped up and didnt look at, she was also with her sister. When we go into class though she didn’t get my attention to tell me anything like she usually does, about 70% of the time, but she did say some stuff really loudly. Just taking, but I felt it was directed at me. She said, “I just hare people who make dumb decisions or do stupid things.” (Felt it was directed at me because I do some crazy shit at school)


I don't see things going well with this girl, unless some time down the road she changes her mind. I'd say forget about her and move on from what I've read when it comes to her. I'd say let this one go for sure.

at lunch I walk over to this table near her table, with this other girl that’s widely considered very hot and I talk to her, I’ve been doing this a while, and I’ll be honest regardless of how much they, the girls at this new table, have insulted me, told me they don’t like me, and to go away, I’m not very convinced whatsoever that they aren’t attracted to me. Even if they aren’t I still find it fun to go over there and see what outrageous shot I can come up with to say and then in return, it’s sort of a thing. They say I’m not funny and they don’t like me. Yet, every time I say something attempting to be funny they can’t help but bursting out into laughter. Also when I touch them just on the shoulder arm or back, they don’t react badly. They just let it happen.


Now this one I'm not too sure about. Because when some people say insulting they really mean teasing, but other times they say insulting they mean being disrespectful.

If they're just teasing, then I'd say just keep doing whatever you're doing. But if they're actually being disrespectful then drop all of them. No pussy is worth that shit (unless you're into humiliation, some people are).

Because you have some stuff on here that could go either way I can't really give advice on this. I'm just not too sure :/


So, that was today and I’m not 100% sure what to think about it. She didn’t acknowledge the fact that she blew me off/ flaked in me after she agreed to get together sometime over break, twice.


Would put exactly 0% of thought into that, into you or not I wouldn't have expected any different either way.

I know I probably didn’t handle the in class situation too well because I wasn’t cordial, but I just had to step in when she was pretty much telling me about myself like she knows what I’m about, it got to me, but I did keep my cool in my tone and expressions at least when talking to her.


I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. You know that you messed up and you know why, just gotta keep moving forward. Emotional control is easy to talk about but it's not so easy to follow-through with. You'll get there if you just keep moving forward.

Also I did take some of your other advice Regal Tiger. I thought about what you said about meeting and talking to more girls, and I’ve been able to think of about 10, at least, at my school that I’m at least somewhat attracted to and have talked to them at least a few times, but nothing much, just casual flirting I’d say. But hey that’s like 12 girls I could start talking to to lose the “your my best option mindset” and vamp up my preselectikn. 5 of which should be easy for to at least get a phone number since they already see me in a positive light.


It'll definitely help!

But how big is your school and are you in college or is this high school? I'm not too sure.

If it's big, then I'd say be careful about falling into the trap that beginners sometimes fall into. Something that I fell into, pretty heavily I'd say. And that's the trap of having too high standards. But, that's something that you'll have to gauge because I could be dumb for even bringing it up. Just a possibility that I thought I'd share about.

Sorry cause this is a bit of a long one and I probably have a few pointless details in here, so again, any response will be taken with much gratitude. Thanks! If you’ve even read this far!


No worries dude.

And also that Hanks for the recommendation in hectors book about being the big man on campus, sounds like something that would be right up my alley, cool shit, I’ll be sure to check it out, didn’t even know about it.


Definitely! I got to read some of the beginning when he asked people to edit for him, there's some good stuff in there and I think people will benefit from it.

It's geared towards social circle game, which from what I've read it sounds like you have a smaller sized school, correct me if I'm wrong. This book will definitely amp your game up when it comes to that.

I could be wrong, but I don't think it's out just yet though. It's getting paired up with Chase's One Date. Hector would know more about it than I would.
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Start_ed_young » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:01 pm

I’m in junior highschool, 8th and 9th grade, probably about 900 kids in our school I think. I’m in 9th grade
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Re: Unclear about a date, confusion?

Postby Regal Tiger » Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:02 am

Start_ed_young wrote:I’m in junior highschool, 8th and 9th grade, probably about 900 kids in our school I think. I’m in 9th grade


Groovy, then you don't have much to worry about. Just keep working on yourself and preparing for college (if you go, though I'm personally against college in general).

Depending on what you wanna major in, you might be able to get by, by going to a fashion college or something that's like 90% female ;)


Anywhoo, you've got some wiggle room but it doesn't sound like a lot. Hector will know more than I do about how to navigate your school :)
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