Well I messed up we were flirting thru text and I said I really want to see you this Sunday and she said I don't think I'll be able to this Sunday and I said no it's cool no worries. Not sure if I'm over reacting but it sounded needy after I hit sent. And she replied how I thought she will that's why I acted like it wasn't a big deal
I will say this. The main problem isn't what the next texting needs to be or what to say or how to react, it's more what position of where your texting is coming from. Girls are really and i mean EXTREMELY intuitive for feeling out if a guy needs her more than she needs him. And in a relationship with a girl there's never any equal grounds, either you want her more or she wants you more. The going back and forth may change the balance here and there but it's never the same.
So with that being said, the balance right now is in her favor and I can tell she's starting to put you in the back burner for flirting or whenever she's bored and probably looking for another guy.
You want to hang out with her more than she wants to hang out with you which means she has the calling shots on when you guys meet or not. Here's a bit of a mistake.
Mistake:
1. She sends you a picture of her family beer gathering. (She already knows you want to hang out with her)
Your reply: No Invite? (Whether joking or not) Sub communicates what she already knows which is reinforcing her perception of you of wanting to hang out with her again in a needy way. (She's unconsciously feeling this)
2. This one you already stated, but texting I really want to see you this Sunday. (Same reasoning as #1)
So from here, here's the wrong things to do.
1. You can keep texting her the way you've been texting her, but she'll keep seeing that as you trying to get her out again which comes off needy which won't change anything and leads to more needy behavior.
2. You can suddenly stop texting her or say something along the lines of hey well, just text me when you're free. Either way, she will sees as weak, because it seems like you're reacting to her "rejecting" to hang out with you.
Best option is a bit of a cliche advice mixed with truth practicality.
1. The more you invest your mental energy on trying to figure out how to control this interaction, the less control you will actually have. Instead just give up trying to say the right thing or do the "right" thing. And just let it be. Stop pressuring her, asking her, and be cool, and instead trust that as long as you keep being attractive, the right moment will come for you to go out. I'm not sure how you guys met the first time, but obviously you projected something that made her want to come see you. Think about what it was and do more of that and focus more of conveying what it was you were conveying before.
2. What you want to do is, gradually and slowly start showing less and less interest, and move your interest more and more on other areas of your life. Meeting other women, doing things that you are excited by, and just doing something that "improves yourself."
This does two things.
A. It starts to have to invest your mental energy in other areas of your life GRADUALLY, not suddenly. In return, SHE will start becoming little curious and start investing more of her mental energy into you trying to find out what you're doing while you're starting to invest LESS because she wants to become the center of attention again. (Think pre-selection) This might be few weeks to few months depending on how you do it and present it. She might not even care at all but be ready for that and accept that. And it slowly starts putting things into your favor if done right.
Just a warning: She WILL test you to see if this just all a "front" and see if you're genuine about what you're doing or just temporary. These might come in forms of "We should hang out soon~ I miss you" or "Soo... we haven't finished what we started before" and if you respond anything that says you're eager, all that hard work will be out the window. Instead when you sense that she's starting to get intrigued, just play it off.
B. Snap and record what you do in your life. If she can see what you're doing with your life, she won't even treat you a certain way as "Beer Picture" "Oh it wasn't for you. Show that YOU value your time and she will value yours hence that's what being unneedy is all about.
You can't "act like" being unneedy when you're needy, because when you talk to her, she will figure it out with little incongruencies you give off when you're trying to hide something, so really, become the NEEDED.
And if she texts again, just text her briefly, while putting up pictures on snapchat. This will help her see that there's a VALID reason why your texting is starting to become shorter and shorter gradually and see that you're not "acting or faking"
