Ergon's Journal 2017

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
This is my second journal. The first one's here: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=13282
I'm not doing the newbie assignment exclusively anymore, so the title was misleading. I WILL try to complete it whenever I have the chance, though.

For those who don't know me, I live in the US but was born and raised in another country. That I think is one of my greatest strengths because it forces me to adapt, break preconceptions and switch perspectives. After moving to the US for college and being alone for a year I hit rock bottom and decided to do my best to meet people . Then it took me a year to get my first number from a girl, and searching what to do for the date I found GC and this forum…

My last journal entry had a slightly pessimistic tone and I swore not to write any report unless it was a variation of lay report; botching it up with a girl and being stressed with school made me a bit emo. However, I am back! And I have a LR- and some FRs wanting to be written.

Lately I've practiced my social skills in all sorts of venues: rock bars, salsa bars, lounges, pubs, streets, parks, bookstores, classes and coffee shops. I only don't do online game. Last year my biggest issue was social anxiety, and not enough approaches due to the same. Recently it seems my sticking point is closing: either number closing or pulling the girl home.

So my goals for 2017 are:
-My first date and lay out of street approach.
-My first lay out of nightgame
-5 lays total, and as many dates and LRs- as I can.
-10 pounds gain from the gym. Currently I weight 137 which is kind of low. I started with the gym last year and lost some weight first but then ended gaining 4 pounds total.
-Keep improving my fundamentals. I've worked around Darius advice (in here and his blog SSFJ) which has made me receive compliments on my style and even be approached by a few cute girls. This year I'll keep working on it
-I want to build a group of friend/social circle with whom I can roll everywhere. Currently the friends I make are more like acquaintances (or live in another country)
-Keep exploring social power. Last year I played around a little with preselection, social proof, compliance and persuasion, with all kinds of people. This year I want to expand on that.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
For a while I was idle. The last two months of 2016 I didn't go out even though I wanted to; for one reason or another. Even during the holidays I just spent time with family and relatives I hadn't seen in a long time. I think it was good though, because 1) I completed some pending projects 2) Spending time with family made me feel cared for 3) I worked a lot on my fundamentals.

There was one day I did go out, I had just bought a cool biker leather-jacket. A few days before new year.
I went to grab pizza and then to a bar nearby where there was a small concert going on. I talked to a girl and then a dude during the concert to warm up.

After it ended, I went to the outdoor patio to finish my beer and saw this edgy-elegant girl sitting by herself smoking a cigarette.

I sat at a table almost in front of her and after a minute I caught her glancing at me. I hesitated another minute, but I sipped at my beer and just went sat at her table.

-Hey I just noticed your boots and I think they're cool, pretty kick ass
- Thank you! [She smiles warmly]
-So how's your night going?
-It's been good…

Then I asked her if she was from around the city and what did she do. She had recently moved and worked for a record company. I tried to deep dive with what she studied and how did she get into the job she had, but I was mostly struggling to make conversation out it. She was in the concert but I didn't see her. I told her how I just randomly decided to drop by when I heard the music was good while I was walking by.

There was a pause and I said..

-I actually haven't asked your name
-My name is G----
-I'm Ergon

She offered her hand at this point, I took it and noticed a ring. I touched it and took a few second to examine it.

-That's a pretty ring, does it have a special meaning to you?
-Yeah, it was my grandmother's ring
-Oh, a family relic.
-Yeah
[Pause, I look deep into her eyes and ask]
-What color are your eyes?
-Green… ish
You have German ancestry?
-Yeah, a little bit, Mostly polish.
-Do you speak German?
-No
-Why? what happened?
-[Something, something]
-Acculturation right?

There was another pause, and she started to ask about me, and I gave short but interesting answers.

I probably touched the topic of traveling, and I was still struggling to make conversation, so when she seemed to want to ask something else about me I said:

-I'm freezing, I think I'll have to go inside [I really was freezing].
-It was nice meeting you [she gives me her hand as I stand up]
-It was nice meeting you too [I'm still holding her hand]
-Maybe I'll see you again [still holding her hand]
-Yeah, I if you come here often maybe I'll see you again [I leave]

Furk!! I don't know where my brain went here.

5 seconds later I realized
1) She was investing in the conversation
2) Big indicator of interest, lingering touch
3) She subtly asked me to grab her number and take her on a date.

I was rusty, so that's why I felt like the conversation was not flowing. But she was still interested and I could've grab her number, but mi mind was on another planet and missed all the signals.
Also I realized she was classy. shut! :(

Anyway, even the pros miss some shots in front of the goal with no goalkeeper. And I'm no pro yet.
Lol. I just gotta develop my instinct to seize good chances like this automatically and pay attention.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
In new years I went out to celebrate downtown. Unfortunately most places had expensive covers, but there was one place where it was decent.

It was a house and trance music club. This is my favorite kind of music btw, unfortunately I don't think I know how to dance it and I feel awkward doing it. Maybe it would be worth it to see a few youtube videos for that? Don't know what to look for, though, since most videos are things like shuffle or tectonik which actually look like too much when people do it at the club.

Anyway. I did conversation with a guy on the way out of the restroom, "It's kind of empty isn't?". It was early so it really was kind of empty still. Later I tried to follow him and include myself in his group, but after greeting everyone, I just stood there. Tried to chat one of the girls, but I couldn't get the conversation going, so I bounced.

Some minutes later I grab a drink and make a little chat with another dude. This dude was actually pretty cool and included me with his group consisting of him, his brother and their girlfriends. I don't think I was bringing a lot of value to the group or saying much but they still included me in their talk. I just wanted to befriend them to have a group to rely on during the night.

I've never been very good with groups, and I don't quite get how to talk and chat as other people do in groups. Talking fast, across each other, making jokes, and leading and proposing things to do sometimes. Even with my group of best friends back in my home country, I'm usually the most quiet, and rely on talking one on one with each of them.

Anyway, I'd like to learn nonetheless just because it's something that can be useful as preselection and social proof (and because it's my goal to learn all kind of socializing, not just seducing girls).

At one point one of the girls pointed me to a group of 4 girls ordering drink at the bar, and told me she would be my wing-girl for the night. I actually couldn't think how to open this group of girls, nor how do you use a wing-girl to seduce girls; so, I just replied: "What do you know about it?". Fail!

If anyone knows how to work with a wing-girl please let me know :).

All right, later I direct opened a latina girl (from my own country) and since we both didn't know how to dance house music we tried latin dance style. It was kind of weird, but we were still dancing very close. After 2 or 3 minutes her friends took her away.

Afterwards I didn't see any other girl to approach. They were all mostly dancing in groups or sitting with their group. Eventually my provisional group left the venue because one girl (not the wing girl) got drunk and the club staff kicked her out (supposedly for being too drunk).

I left before midnight and the new year actually caught me on the bus :(

No biggie. I visited briefly another bar before going home and direct approached a girl sitting by herself at the patio, and she was not interested at all. She kept looking at her cellphone and was dismissive. E.g. Where you from? Somewhere in Germany. Where in Germany? Doesn't matter, difficult name, you wouldn't know it anyway…
I persisted, asked her what she was up to (waiting for her friends), and asked her to come with me inside but she didn't comply. I excused myself then.

All in all, nothing special on NYE but at least I got familiarized with venues I didn't frequent.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
Fundamentals

At the beginning of January I did the 30 day challenge to improve my attractiveness, by Darius.
Link here
Basically a series of tasks and habits for 30 days such as:

Get a good night of sleep
Skincare morning routine
Meditate
Plan and get a new "I'm getting laid tonight" outfit.
No porn
Hit the gym 3X
Walk or do some physical activity the off days.
Track your diet
Built a new better diet
Etc…

Plus my own goal of doing 2-5 hours of productive work, first thing in the morning.

Well, after two weeks, in part luck, in part because I really looked and felt awesome, a girl from some of my firsts reports reached out to me. I botched it up because probably booze dick, and to cope with it, I hit the streets and bars every day, at the expense of everything else.
It was great the first days, but little by little my drive and mood decayed to where I had to take a break.

Now, more or less back to normal, I'm resuming the 30 challenge, resting well again and keeping a sustainable routine.
I'll be approaching and going out less, but focusing on journaling more, and following the advice of an elder: to be more polarizing and with intent.


Girl at bookstore.

She was carrying like 10 book already and checking the editions of another book. I pre opened positioning myself just right next to her, checking the books too. After 10 second

Me: Excuse me, do you know where the equestrian sports section is?"
She: Mmm, well I think the sports section is over bla bla, maybe you can find it there"
Me: Thanks, I'm just joking, I just thought you were cute and I had to say hi [My delivery was average; I was a bit tired]
She: Oh haha [slightly surprised face]
Me: That's a dense book [pointing at the book she was checking with her only free hand]
She: Yeah, for a class... what were you looking for?
Me: Same thing as you [pointing her book]
Her: Have you read it?
Me: Yeah. I'm guessing you're an English major..
She: haha, nah. Humanity class. So did you read everything or just skim over some parts?
Me: Ahh, well yeah. I read it all, it took me almost a year… That's a lot of books, are you really reading all of that?
Her: no, bla bla bla

At some point I ask where she's from, she asks back. Why she's from far huge city buying books here, then the snow, then what she was up to and how long was she staying at the city. At this point she knew I was feeling her out for some coffee and said "Yeah... I came with my mom, she's over there. Well, it was nice to meet you". And left abruptly

Obeservations:

In this case, the opener sounded weak and rehearsed, because of how I pre-opened, (checking a book) Situational "That's a pretty dense book", with slow voice and sexy smile, would've worked.

She made me qualify myself, instead of I to her. I should've answered "yeah I've read it", and then "maybe [I read it all]" do YOU have to read it all?" Turn her questions back to her, ask if she liked to read and if she had and interesting conversation then.

I could've got compliance immediately by asking her to let me check the books she was carrying, teased her about them, add incidental touch.

"What were you looking for?"
"books, do you think I'm in the right place?"

No need to feel her out, just say "How about we grab a bite…" early at some high point. Act with intent.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
Early February (little after last post), I was on the rise; cold approaching more frequently and accumulating experience, but I then had to turn my attention to other areas and I halted all progress in this.

It's been a month since, but I'm back to push my "game" forward!.. but before that, I thought to share a report I wrote while I was active..

FR: Early February

I wanted to find a new bar to meet girls, just to push my comfort zone. I went to explore a place downtown, and man, I was really glad I found it.

It was definitely loud and a bit more club than bar (I prefer the calmer pace of a bar), but it was full of blonde bombshells and other hot girls, plus a lot of dudes leaning toward the bro, frat guy type. Definitely a good place to meet girls I don't interact with too often, and observe the guys they go for.

Unfortunately, I let myself get overwhelm by the noise, the size of the place and the fact that it was a different crowd, which shouldn't had been an issue because blondes had been the most friendly and more interested in me so far. I blame the needy post about blonds in this forum; it's never been an issue for me, but I'm letting the stereotypes get to me. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

In fact I was approached by a gorgeous girl. She stood next to me at the bar and made a comment, but she spoke to softly and I somehow ignored her. Fail! But as I said I was anxious and overwhelm by the novelty.

I returned on a Wednesday. It was practically empty, unlike the weekend. I made friends with a guy while I had my drink. Then almost leaving I went to grab a napkin to where a cute girl was:

Me: Is that a Margarita? [Pointing at her drink]
Her: No, it's a Martini
Me: Oh, it looks pretty fancy
Her: I know, usually I just have a beer.
Me: Well, it goes well with your style [She smiles]
[Then, her girlfriend apparently came from the bathroom and sat at the other side]
Me: Are you two couple?
Her: Yeah
Me: Oh, sometimes it's hard to tell because female friends are pretty affectionate with each other [I had seen them minutes before and I suspected they might been couple].
Her: Yeah, it must be hard for men
Me: But still, you don't mind the attention
Her: [laugh]
Me: What's your name by the way?
Her: [something]
Me: [Name], I'm Ergon. Nice to meet. Have a good night.

I then ejected, early. She seemed interested and receptive. I could have continued the conversation with some comment about James Bond or something. But her girlfriend was there staring at the wall, and I didn't know what to do when I needed to move things forward. Number? Move her? And what happens to her friend? I gave in to the social pressure. Next time I should stick longer and maybe try either one.


On a different night. I was going from one bar to another, when a gay cold approached me. I'm not gay at all, but I didn't ignore him just to see how a street approach works from the other side.

I don't remember the beginning very well, something like where you from? And exchange names. One minute of chit chat. His friends arrive and goes with them, but before leaving asks

-Hey are you gay? [Modified for girls: Are you single?]
-No and you?
-A little, do you want my number or something?
[I pass him my phone just because]
-Why don't you go to xyz with us?
-Nah, I'm too wasted
-Us too... Where you live? We can give you a ride
-Nah, another day
[He calls himself from my phone so he has the number]

Then I leave. Sometime later he just texts "Hi". I didn't respond because as I said, I'm not gay.
I feel really weird writing about it. Lol. But I thought I should really comment it, because I thought it was a good street approach, and the way it developed was perfectly applicable for WOMEN. Good non verbals. Hard to convey the body language and pace, but it was a good street approach, except for the icebreaker text. So I advise to keep an open mind every once in a while haha. By the way, I don't look gay, but I dress sexy for them ladies.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
Daygame FR: Monday 3/27
The first half hour I was walking around downtown. I visited the uni library; it was completely empty. (spring break). I walk more and let go of 2 possible approaches. Disappointed of that, I finally take action.
I saw a lady, well dressed, around her late 30's but very pretty nonetheless. She smiled and I, almost as a reflex, uttered the words "I like your coat", she says "thank you". That was my warm up.

I let go another approach, but I approach a girl looking at some Italian books at the bookstore.

Me: Are you Italian?
Her: No, I'm learning
Me: What's your interest in the language?
Her: I'm going to do an internship.
Me: In Italian or something else?
Her: Fashion
Me: It makes sense, they're very fashionable people.

Then I ejected. I though later I could've made the conversation more interesting: "Yeah, that's what I think when I hear Italy; fashion, sculpture, the Sistine chapel" or something like: "Fashion, it makes sense, you dress fashionable. I love your biker jacket".

Anyway, walk more and let go another approach. Then I walk into a souvenirs store, a girl with nice legs and short shorts hovers where I was:

Me: Do you come from a very cold place?
Her: Hell no!
Me: You don't seem to be very affected by the cold.
Her: No, I come from San Diego… do you say because I'm wearing shorts?
Me: Yeah.
Her: It's just really hot indoors and I don't stay out in the cold too long...

[Possible reply I didn't make] And you still have to look attractive, right?

We were back to back while having this conversation, so of course it was a lame approach. She still hovered nearby when I moved to a different area, but I didn't know how to re approach and I left.

Immediately, as I get out of the store I met the eyes of a stunning blonde. I hesitated and didn't actually opened until we were both on the electric stairs.

Me: Hey, I just saw you walking by, and I thought you looked really nice and I had to say hi"
Her: Thank you [She keeps walking]
Me: You look like you work in retail
Her: No
Me: Business?
Her: No. I'm a student [She stops, but her body language is closed]
Me: You look really nice for a student
Her: Thank you, I actually study at X college
Me: And how do you like it?
Her: Well, not so much. I'd like to move to a bigger school or abroad"
bla bla

We chatted for two minutes when she said "Well, it was nice to meet you" and left. My opener was weak, and ignored me, except I kept talking. I didn't even introduced myself after the opener.

Observations
It was my first outing in weeks. I still have some AA, but not as much as when I started this. However, what I noted is my conversation skills and quick thinking are way down.
On another news I have a car now. Which means better logistics from now on… (though, as soon as I get my license).

The warm up, the lady with the nice coat, may sound not worth mentioning, except I was surprised at how complimenting people feels easier and automatic.

I think of situational openers faster, but I don't know yet how to move them forward as when I go direct. I don't know if I can go direct on libraries and little stores neither. If I don't go direct I somehow feel apprehensive about asking for numbers.

I am able to notice many more girls and possible approaches, including those I let go. But I also know I just shy away from most of them. A couple of months ago, I used to think there were only 2 or 3 approachable girls per outing (during the day), but now I see ten or more. If I took every one of this, I could be approaching 10 or more girls per outing.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
Day game FR: Tuesday 3/28
I only had 2 hours to spare. My AA was much higher than yesterday. I kept thinking how distracted and poor my approaches had been, and I started thinking excuses, like, "I need to review my English at home instead", "I need to rest better and exercise today, then do this with more energy", etc. I was about to go home right then, but I convinced myself to at least do one hit and run.

I made small talk with a cashier at one store. Then I awkwardly talked with a girl selling for a charity. I missed four or five chances to approach, until I finally made one hit and run and went home.

What's interesting is, on my way back home, I complimented a random lady and she shared some cool stories and soon after I made some chit chat with the guy who prepared my food.

Observations
Later, I thought about how small talk feels more natural now. Random people share more or initiate small talk with me. It feels nice to have that ability; it could work as social proof. Even if I didn't seduce any women today, at least I worked on my people skills.

I feel proud for pushing through today. Even though all my confidence was in the gutter, I still forced myself to do a warm up and after that my day went better.

Hired guns and saleswomen count as warm ups, as long as is more than hi and goodbye.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
A report of the week

So this week had its ups and downs
First day of class, I had very little sleep but still approached a girl at a bus stop.

I preopen by walking in front of her, as if checking if my bus is coming. I make no eye contact before I position next to where she was sitting. Suddenly I turn my head to her..

Me: Hey, I just I had to tell you that I love your jacket
Her: I'm sorry? [She had headphones]
Me: I love the Jacket
Her: Thank you! [Almost about to put on the headphones again]
Me: It is a biker leather jacket isn't?
Her: Yeah… but I don't have a bike or anything [she is investing now]
Me: No bike… surely it must be in you wish list at least..
Her: yeah..
Me: and you're wearing all black, is very London…
Her: New York!

I deep dive and flirt for a few minutes. Suddenly she asks what bus I'm taking, I tell her and she says "Well that's my bus" with a very disappointed voice because we weren't taking the same. I didn't get her number. "It was very nice to meet you Ergon…"

So there you go! Not so bad for a first approach in campus. In fact, it was very significant because:

First time girl with both headphones and waiting for the bus.
Good application of cold reading: Based on fashion, she was from London or NY.
Approached while badly rested. Unusual because tired I have no courage nor can talk coherently in English; but I learned I still may chance into a girl very into me.

Later this week, I came to the realization I don't need to be "in state" or super well rested; I just need to warm up beforehand, lightly and gradually. Thursday I was receiving approach invitation from girls like crazy all morning, but I wasn't doing anything about them and began to feel like a loser. Then I said, "I can't depend on state or mood" and complimented the girl sitting in front of me: "Your trousers have a very pretty color". Soon after, walking around a university I see a girl "Hey I just had to come tell you, you look pretty nice… have a good day". Next I open a girl sitting in a park with regular direct. I intended this to be a warm up too but it went well so I grabbed her number. She said she had a boyfriend.. But responded to the icebreaker. A respond to a text inquiring about her schedule is still pending.
----------------------------------------------------

Today Saturday, I went out to hit the streets. But a girl that sat next to me in the train ignored me when trying to make some chat. Then I let go a couple of approaches. I finally approach two girls by asking if a cardboard they were carrying was for the rain, resulting in a very lame approach overall. I started to feel awkward with my clothes, got too much in my head and ended back home.

Then at night I went to hit the club. I still felt unconfident about my whole day. I tried to join a group in the dance floor but I hesitated and ended up looking like a creep. I chatted some dudes. Then finally went to another venue. This was a bar, and I actually felt a bit better (I feel I do better in bars). I actually met one dude from my country, met his friend, and got their numbers to go clubbing next week. Then I approached for the first time with "Are you single?". She wasn't but said thank you, and didn't look bothered.

An important first because now I have "Are you single?" under my arsenal. Next week my goal is to approach 5 girls with this…

Next, I'm outside the bar when I see this girl:

Me: Hey, I just saw you standing here, and I had to come tell you, you have the most amazing hair I've seen all night
Her: Thank you
Me: I'm Ergon by the way!
Her: I'm with someone actually
Me: What?
Her: I'm with someone
Me: Like a boyfriend?
Her: Yeah!
Me: How serious is it?
Her: Like two years
Me: Well, ok have a good night… what's your name by the way?..

Then I banter a little about her name because she had the name of a famous actress. Then I leave.
I return to the same club earlier. There's one hot girl that posts up where I was, while I'm grabbing some water. I see her, hesitate for 10 second, and a dude with a bun beats me to it. I observed the interaction from afar. They left the place after some 15 minutes. I tried to hit the dance floor again but I simply couldn't. Went home and wrote this report
-----------------------------------------------------

In summary:
*I have a method now to warm up and start approaching the days I don't feel 100%. This mean I can finally be consistent about the days I go out to practice.
*I need to build some club skills.
*My goal next week is 5 approaches using "Are you single?" and 5 that are walking toward me in the sidewalk (Kristian gave me some pointers for this). I'll be back to report how it goes
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
I should've updated my journal last week, but I procrastinated a little :)

AA and depression hits back. Kicked their ass with better strategy
Well, so I didn't accomplish my goal of 5 "are you single?" that week. In fact what happened is I struggled with extreme AA for like a week and a half . I didn't waanna go out, felt demotivated, that I simply wouldn't get good result anymore, etc.
Probably triggered by the bad Saturday I talk about last post, when I went out the whole day then clubbing with just bad results…

However, I got around it. Mainly, thanks to this articlewhich made me realize a few things and change my strategy:

I realized that I had been going out only two or three days per week, for about 4 or 5 hours, with not the right goals, and mostly avoiding having to approach. Also going around to many places each time. So I was wearing myself out in marathon sessions. I wasn't building micro and macro momentum with those few sessions and I was demoralizing myself by the amount of time wasted each time.

So I decided to follow the advice from the article the next week. I created a new schedule, that won't write, but is five days (instead of daily), one hour, certain days in my campus, at a university, downtown, bars on friday, etc.
Also committing to no more than one hour, I felt the pressure to be efficient; aiming for an interaction at least every 15 min, etc.

Indeed, the first two days I was just at uni. No approaches, just getting into the habit. Next a few compliments, hit and run. Next time the same plus one approach and sticking with it…

To not make the tale longer, I did several bold approaches this week, and I've been using the "single" opener, plus some surprises that I'll try to recount tomorrow… but for now I got to go to sleep.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 9, 2016
Messages
201
What's been going on with me lately?

So for a week and a half I had an issue with internet addiction. It's kind of serious because I start to neglect school, and seduction almost entirely. Sometimes it also slips into porn, though mostly it's just inability to stay away from YouTube and other time sink sites. It's something I've been trying to tackle. It comes in bouts, but I think I got it under control since last weekend.

I've definitely been doing some approaches, though, every once in a while. But I haven't written them down. I also haven't been doing the 30 min out to practice every day (because of my aforementioned issue). I'll return to the habit of going out and write everything down because it seems I forget any lesson I could've gotten when I don't. I feel I get good much faster when I was in the habit of journaling everything.

Going out today:

First I went out to grab a coffee at a coffee shop. One cute girl sat in a table diagonal to mine, with her back toward me. She then put some headphones on. I really wanted to approach her, but I didn't think there was any good angle. I'm still thinking whether there was some way to open her.

Later, a lady was trying to pull away his dog from the pet shop. I said "He really want to do some shopping" -He does!.

Then I missed an approach, because I couldn't see if she was pretty (even with my contacts I can't see faces well). And she was walked pretty fast.

Then I approached a girl walking in the same direction. She wasn't as pretty up close.

-Excuse me, are you single?
-Why
-I just thought you were cute and I had to say hi
-Actually I do have a boyfriend.
-Oh, what's his name?
-Why do you want to know
-I don't know, just to check facts.
-He is not here he is in Texas.
-So you're from Texas too?
-Yeah
-You look a little bit exotic, what's your… [is it ok to ask smo's ethnicity?]
-Mexican
-Mexican? Cool.. I'm not very good at recognizing peoples inheritance [what did I say?]
-Oh yeah? [she was walking ahead now]
-Well it was nice meeting you
-Nice meeting you too.

Later I grabbed some dinner. Missed a few approaches. Particularly a pair of girls (speaking spanish) one with a bouquet of something (no flowers though). I was about to say something but I hesitated and missed the window)

In my head it went something like this:
You have an admirer? I say because of the bouquet. It has no flowers. Where are you girls from? [in spanish].

Anyway, I'm learning that for a first day after a week and a half of not practicing these are good results. I have to be ok with barren days after a break and not fret too much about it.

Relationships:

I saw again the girl from LR: Logistics girl. Street approach. We had a good session. Then I wanted to see her again this weekend. She told me she was busy this weekend and next one because of the preparatives of her sister's wedding. She then told me she def want to hang out again, but she could only until May 29 (two weeks from now). I replied "Oh, it's all right, we'll arrange something by then!"

So, yeah. Short text from me, but still positive no?. I'm never sure of my texting. We'll see if I end up seeing her again.

Things I'm working on:

I'm getting better at befriending cool guys, but I still don't get included in their social circles or introduced to women. One of my main problems it seems is that I act very childish, excited and play the fool when I feel comfortable with others. I need to turn on my masculine attractive persona all the time. So I'm working on being mindful of it more.

Edit: For the purpose of completeness I should add these LR:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=16246
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=16278

These were the culmination of a good week and the strategy I talked about last post.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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So short report for today:

I experienced something very out of my comfort zone today. An acquaintance from a philosophy class invited me to a punk/ska concert in what I can only describe as an anarchist club or something like that. Lots of anarchists books and gifts. Nothing I'm familiar with.

People there were either quite edgy or hipster. I wore my edgier clothes, but I felt really uncomfortable for a while because I only knew one guy, and somehow I feel out of my element with edgy people (because I'm a bit soft/friendly and I'm awkward in groups setting too. Mostly just limiting beliefs of mine, I'd say)

Anyway, it turned out to be pretty good. I chatted lots of interesting people. I was tired and I wasn't the best conversationalist, but I pushed myself to do it. I struggled at times with what I wanted to say, but I made notes in my personal journal regarding what I could've said, done better, etc. And it was good practice. I'll spare this detailed notes, though.

However, I do would like to mention a few relevant points. When a girl who I was flirting with a little turned to me, I asked "what's going on with the rips in your jeans?" (she had rips under her buttocks and I pointed at them with a newspaper I was holding). She wanted to say something in spanish and I said "what?, yeah that's what I said. Too much of the good stuff" And she and another girl were like "omg did you said that?" A dude was like "bla bla" made a lot of noise to make me save face. Later on he asked me "You're 22 right?" "Yeah, why did guess that" "I just knew, you guess depending of how people behave". I didn't know if that was good or bad… Probably not, cause I like older women. Best response in that situation with the girls, however, would've been: "Wait, you don't think so? You think it's a curse then?"

Another thing is when two chubby girls hovered where I was and I engaged them. They sat down, but decided to leave after a minute or two (the place was closing). I said I can walk you two to your stop. And I did, but after about 5 minutes, they started ignoring me and walking ahead. So I said to them "ok this is my stop, goodbye" And went home

I'm thinking my mistake was I pushed chase frames too much or something? Oh well. At least I'm being more polarizing and getting reference points.

Things I did well:

I went out after a tiring day and I was productive. I also did more than my 30 minutes of socializing and meeting girls for the day.
I did my best to talk to a lot of people even if I wasn't at my best, and I made notes of my interactions later at home.
I practiced being polarizing and bold a little bit.

Things I have to work on:

I have to keep momentum and keep practicing meeting people at least a few minutes every day. Keep making notes of all my social interactions too.
I need to work on my conversation skills
Learn how to be more of an asshole. Be edgy and assertive. This might come with confidence about my conversation and language skills too.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Yes, I actually went out today. But I had insomnia yesterday and ended up sleeping just 3 hours. I forced myself to hustle after classes, but I didn't felt like it at all.
I walked around campus and missed chance after chance. Eventually I mustered up the courage to approach one girl sitting on the grass:

"Hello, I just saw you and I thought you were cute and I had to say hi."
I sat down and immediately I felt all the muddy sludge smeared on my pants and hands…
And she noticed it..
-What's your name?
-I'm not interested, I actually have a fiance.
-Oh, I see you actually look quite young to have a fiance [me worrying more about the mud I sat onto]
-Thanks

I wasn't trying to be rude.. I wanted to say something like "It really breaks my heart.. At least… you look happy haha"

But I had to run to the bathroom and clean up all the mud. And wash my hands. And I wasn't graceful.

It was one of those weird super nice days in this city, and there was literally pretty girls all over the streets. Yet I missed all the opportunities because… I felt crappy today?

I returned home a little frustrated, feeling undeserving, like a weakling. Sure I slept bad, but is that an excuse? I should be able to perform even on the days I'm not in my best, shouldn't I? Do I want it bad enough? Sorry if I'm being too gloomy. I just write it all out to begin anew tomorrow...

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense
.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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The next two days I did go out. Good. Even if I really didn't talk to any girl at all. I chalked up as a wins just going out.

Sunday I spent the whole day on a family bbq. Socializing, no? It was also when I received a ping from a girl I had given up on six months ago, from dancing. I wrote it down in my first journal actually, social circle.

Fast forward, We met last Saturday and this time I couldn't even escalate past making out, at my place. She just said she didn't want to tease me and left hinting at wanting to meet me for a drink again. She's into no sex until marriage, and by now I think I have no way to break that frame. Also if she really is virgin (at 29?) as she claims, then it would probably be a mess to try to keep her as a causal relationship.

Anyway, back to last week. Tuesday:
Super tired. I only spoke to a girl that sat in front of me at the bus. Face to face. She had a bag full of art supplies. I wave "Hey, you're an artist" -Yes, "Are you studying or.." -Yes. I was ignored. She didn't even look at me. A bit embarrassing because there was a guy and a girl sitting nearby.

I think I could've at least saved face being a bit more teasing like in this fictitious convo:

Are you a painter?
Yeah
Are you good at it?
Yeah
I don't believe you.

Wednesday, just work and going to the gym.

Thursday was one of my best days day gaming. I was on my way back home, but I passed through a university and decided to jump into it.

Immediately, I open a girl crossing a street

-What's GEU? [She had a ping that said I love GEU]
- Graduates bla bla
- Oh so you're a grad student
- -Yeah… Psychology
- What is your specialty?
- Industrial psychology bla bla
- Oh so how to be a good boss and hierarchies and stuff
- Yeah.
- Well that can be interesting
- Yeah it is!
- Nice meeting you
- Have a good day!

She seemed into the conversation and was smiling, but she was probably in a rush also. Yes, I could've stopped her, but it's ok for being a warm up

Immediately I see another girl siting under the sun and I compliment her. She said thanks in the most plain manner and I just said you're welcome and kept walking, because she wasn't as pretty as she seemed ways off.

Next, in the park of the uni, I sat and I ask the girl on the next bench:

-Do you know where I can take a nap around here?
-bla bla
-Thanks. You must know your way here.
...

We talk for a few moments and I think she knew I was hitting on her because she blushed a little when a friend of her said hi from afar. I didn't close though because she was on the lower bound of cuteness and she also seemed on the fence about me anyway.

Next, to not lose momentum I open a girl with a rocker style. Who wasn't actually very pretty from up close neither.

-Hey I just noticed you have headphones and I thought to myself, she must listen rock
-Oh because of this [her rocker shirt]

Turns out she was listening to salsa, hahaha, what tha heck?
[She wasn't a latina]. And she studied philosophy
Anyway, she was super interesting to talk to, but:
She mentioned she had depression. She wasn't that cute and looked unkempt. She doesn’t have friends.She smokes pot.

Girls who say they have a psychological problem or who openly confess they consume a lot of a certain drug are a real turn off for me.
We exchanged facebook and chatted there, but I don't think I even want her as a friend :(

Ok, so this is still half of my interactions from that day, but I have to finish a project for today. Will write the rest tomorrow..
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Same day continued.

I recently had read
https://www.girlschase.com/content/tacti ... treet-stop

So I tried to do the policeman stop. The girl ignored me. But I felt really euphoric after the fact. I think the problem was I didn't open with conviction. But I feel really confident for next time.

That's the way it has happened, once I try a new way to open or in a new situation, I feel really apprehensive the first time, but afterwards I do it and without hesitation.

I then went to the bookstore. I complimented a guy about his style, which was actually really similar to mine. I don't know if after a while he thought I was hitting on him… Lol. It has to do with my vibe now

My vibe has changed… I subconsciously "seduce" all kinds of people. I use my cold approach skills to "charm" people. It's hard to describe but men now also tend to gravitate toward me, like in school to give one example. A side effect I don’t mind.

I tried open two more girls indirect-direct ("Do you know where I can find bla bla…, I'm just kidding I just thought you were cute and..") Somehow it feels off. Is not spontaneous (I'm using chase's lines) so I make it sound like a pick up line. I definitely much prefer direct compliment, "are you single?". Who would've guessed my style is super direct considering I couldn't even talk to girls two years ago haha.

Anyhow, unlike the approaches earlier that day, these ones where with super pretty girls. One memorable fragment:

Me: Your name sounds foreign..
Her: Lebanon
Me: Ah, so the Mediterranean?'
Her: Yeah
Me: That's far, why did you decide to move from all the way there to here?
Her: I was actually born here
Me: Oh, so it wasn't your choice. I thought we were gonna share stories of our travels and experiences haha
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: Oh do you? So how serious is it, you think you're gonna marry him?
Her: Yes
Me: [Continue on another topic]

Lol. So She was definitely taken, but I was glad I addressed that and I didn't ejected immediately, which is what i had been doing every time I heard the same.

At this point, I was really warmed up, I complimented two more girls but I didn't stick to make conversation… One responded really enthusiastically and I still ejected, I don't know why. But I continued and then…

I saw this girl sitting on by a mini garden(flower box?) outside a building.
Hands down, she was one of the most pretty girls I've approached. At least according to my tastes: late twenties, lithe, gorgeous face.

We reached the hook point. She said she was only in the city for one day, and gave hints that she didn't have plans…
And my mistake here is that I ejected…

Damn it. Immediately I realized I could've done insta-date right there. But all my mind processed was she was there for one day (That means girls are more open to hookup!). Also, since she was so my type I doubted myself.

Anyways. Good day all around. First day I had approached so many girls and I surprised myself, especially at the end when I approached very cute girls and they responded positively. I think if I start to have many days like this, I would have to really condense my reports haha.

I've been taking the whole week to work on projects :(
So much for consistence, but I think I needed it. I needed to finish several work related projects and…
I've been planning my upcoming trip to Mexico for six weeks. Really exciting. I'll have my own place with great logistics and will meet two of my best friends, who are "naturals". New environment. Good times expected.


Meanwhile, I'll go out again this week to continue where I left off.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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201
This past weekend I embarrassed myself too much. I hung out with a new friend from one of my classes and I drank way too much. I probably weirded him out because when I was already drunk I started to open up about my conquests and hint at my pick up habits, something I wouldn't disclose at all while sober.
Then afterward I tried to pick up girls by myself but I was plastered… so I was just sloppy.
It was something I wouldn't like to go through never again. I thought it was safe because I was with a friend, but I can't control myself when drunk.

I must set the hard limit at just one drink, unless I'm with male friends only and one of their houses.

AA came back, no surprise there. It's the usual cycle. I tried to go out daily to build momentum but I've been busy preparing for my one month trip to Mexico.
I'm going out today to a bar, and then the day after tomorrow I'll be at the vacation spot. Will definitely be reporting of my adventures there. Sayonara
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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201
Thursday June 22
I was between planes and layovers the whole day. I tried to do some game at the terminals, but I chickened out each time. There were one or two clear opportunities that I missed. I blamed at the moment that I was tired

I did manage to make conversation with a lady on the line behind me and then I asked a girl if I was at the right terminal and one or two more sentences. Not true approaches on my book, but better than nothing. I also managed to read Chase article about how to meet girls at airports; wish I'd actually applied it.

Friday 23
I went to explore a mall near where I'm staying. Girls everywhere. I felt intimidated because of my little experiences talking to girls in Spanish. Despite it being my native language. Didn't even know how to open so I took out my cellphone and thought of translations and variations of possible openers.

I ended up only approaching a girl by asking for directions. Again, better than nothing. Later I met with some old friends. We went to a lot of bars and they drank a lot (I promised I wouldn't drink anymore, but I did, just very little). In most of these places there were girls, but I couldn't think of ways to open. I wrote some ideas down later.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Sunday June 25

I complimented a girl but I bailed immediately. It felt good though.
Then I found a dance venue. I danced for a while and ended up talking with a girl from California. I got her number but it was not smooth at all. I don't think I'll receive a reply to the icebreker, but we'll see tomorrow.

Monday 26

I only complimented a girl and the I bailed. Later I went out to hit the bars but many were closed. Only one was crowded but they didn't let me get in all by myself. The only one I could get in had only groups. I chatted at the bar with an older dude. I regretted telling him that I used to live in this city but moved to the US. He joked with the bartender girl that I was faking the accent (after living in the US for a while you DO get an accent). An when I told him I did knew several bars he kept insisting that I was only pretending.

Lesson learned: Don't tell girls or anyone in general you live abroad. It's part of being mysterious and not spilling the beans too. Otherwise people are incredulous, you get labeled pocho, (even though I was born and raised here! ), or people don't care simply because they've never even left their own town.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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27, 28, 29 June.

I've been stuck somewhere I had never been stuck before. I compliment girls and then I just bounce. Moreover there's plenty of girls I let pass without even trying. And it's not like they ignore me or they don't like the opener. I just leave.

My mission this weekend is to stick with each interaction for as long as I can. No pretexts.


Noteworthy:

Many old demons have resurfaced in these pasts days. My group of close friends here are all very witty and one in particular is extremely good with girls (although I've come to learn now he's really awful with relationships). They met me when I lived in this city and I was extremely insecure (Pre GC). Somehow when I'm around them I remember those times and start acting like I was back then. In addition I can't help feeling inadequate because I'm still not that witty, socially adept nor good with girls. And on top of all of that, someone from my old days partied with us and he disrespected me in front of my friends, and I couldn't handle it well.

It's something I have to work on, but I think having success with girls in this city (and maybe having my friends see it) will be the first step to break the pattern of feeling shitty.

Furthermore, succeeding here will answer a question about my skills and the dating market I live in. A few friends have insinuated that American girls are easier, less superficial , interested in money, or whatever, than Mexican girls. (only because they knew me during my old days and then heard about one or two of the girls I've met and have something with; not because they've actually been in the US)


And also I can't convince myself that my skills have improved because my results here are the same as before I began my journey. But I suspect by the end of the month I'll have something to show for, and as soon as I re adapt to the customs here, I'll be much better socially. Obviously girls here are not easier or harder, it's just that people that tell me so have the mainstream-provider only mentality about girls.
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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201
I can't believe it's been almost a week since I wrote a report. That means I haven't been going out that much. I mean, I went out Saturday to two bars and a club and talk to two girls but I ejected pretty soon.

I've been mostly just going out with my friends to drink.

I went out the day before yesterday to the mall but didn't talk to any girl. AA It's strong.
I could talk at length about the reasons and my excuses or whatever, but that's the same as always. I just want to write down the plan:

Keep going out daily if possible.
Go out tomorrow and do two approaches. Try to stick for more than one minute with each.
Make notes and collect lines in Spanish.
Immerse in the language.

I'm thinking that because I need to retake the language and also make copious notes, I won't be able to journal here each day as I planned. But I will make notes daily and then translate them, after the one month I'll spend here.

Until then, it will be just one or two updates.

A few observations:

This is something I hadn't noticed before. Guys here have crazy good fundamentals. The competition is tougher. I mean, the city in the US northwest I live in is not bad at all, but this city (near MXCY) seem to have a few more trimmed, more confident and more stylish guys.
Here I realized my fundamentals are not as good as I thought. I still have a long way to go and hit the gym harder. Also it's good that I changed environment for a while because it's forcing me to develop in new ways and adjust to a different demographic.

Even if I haven't been meeting girls, I've been socializing a lot. I think keeping this pace for a whole year would skyrocket my results. I'm seriously considering start working as a bartender now; I don't seem to have the discipline to make me go out consistently.

Being here has been making me face again old demons from my pre GC days. With my old friends I sometimes start acting and feeling like then. And I was depressed and unable to hold a conversation. It's good in a sense, because I think I'm starting to accept my past. I'll need to remember that success here (lay or a date) will put me one step closer to resolving those issues
 

Ergon

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
201
Phew, so many things that have happened… I'm still in MX and it's been like starting all over.

So it's funny in an odd way how today I felt the worst I have felt during my whole stay here for not having the success I wanted, but reading my previous posts I can see clearly how I have progressed a lot.

Last time I was struggling with staying with the girl after complimenting her, and one number I did get didn't reply; but up until today I've gotten about 6 numbers. Not great but a step forward. Approaches not that many, between one to three each day; however, they last longer and I usually go direct.

The reason I felt bad today was because two promising numbers flaked. One actually flaked several times and stopped responding yesterday. The other girl flaked today and later my friends told me I was too polite with her and let her off the hook, which is true and I knew I had not to already. Another reason is that all girls I approached over the weekend had rejected me, and Sunday there were none at all anywhere I went. So all the neediness fell down upon me today and stung.

Having two friends who are really good with girls (one at seducing them, the other at having casual relationships with them) is really helpful when it comes to troubleshooting many mistakes I don't see myself. Although they don't know about the existence of GC, they follow several principles taught here, but in many aspects they deviate. And that takes me to the other aspect of it: I feel inept and small compared to them. It's incredible how they came upon many of the principles of seduction by themselves, and how they make things the harder way well. For example, I see how they text a lot with girls before asking them out, and they flirt via text, and all their talk is witty, while I text minimal because I don't know to do any other way (and I can't be witty)

Anyway, being here has been making me push my limits and has also showed me insecurities I hadn't pay close attention to during my normal routine. Tomorrow or the day after I'll try to flesh out the approaches that led to the two numbers that flaked. Maybe something comes up in the meantime.

Things to work on:
-Thinking fast on my feet.
-Sleep well and exercise again.
-Wit and vocabulary in my old language.
 
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