Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements



Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements

Postby Bboy100 » Sun Jul 12, 2015 11:32 am

I thought this was a really cool piece from Models that Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson and wanted to share it with you guys. Apologies for the bad formatting. I took it out of a PDF, and it looks like it didn't retain its margins.

Questions Versus Statements: Creating threads of conversation
through statement is far more powerful than questions. This is
because it assumes rapport.
Friends speak to each other in statements, not questions. Questions
are a polite way of requesting information of someone. They create
the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to
fulfill your request. But statements make it so that you’re constantly
giving away information and value to the other person.
Statements give you a wider array of topics to choose from. Only
broad questions feel socially acceptable. Specific and eccentric
questioning comes off as odd and unattractive.
For instance, if you’ve been talking to a woman at a bar for a few
minutes, saying, “I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used
to eat them straight out of the jar,” is far more interesting than, “Do
you like olives in your drink?” and waiting for her response. In fact,
that question is just plain weird. But that statement is interesting,
and what many women would consider “cute.”
Questioning should be limited to a minimum. Often, asking her a
question is unavoidable to get the conversation rolling. But once it’s
rolling, you should make them few and far in between. Many guys
talk to a girl in the “interview” style of conversation, which puts the
girl on the spot, creates no rapport, and will drive her away.
Instead of incessant questioning, you want to develop a skill called
cold-reading. Cold-reading is a skill where you’re able to intuitively
“know” something about someone else without actually knowing it.
It’s like being a psychic without the cheesiness.
For our purposes, cold-reading is just a way of creating interesting
statements rather than asking questions for information. You don’t
ask the question you want to know, but instead you make a mild
prediction.
Instead of asking her a question about herself, you guess the answer
to your question and then state it. Here are some examples:
“Where are you from?” translates to: “You look like a California
girl.”
“What do you do for work?” translates to: “You seem to be a
creative person. I bet your job is interesting.”
“How do you guys know each other?” translates to: “You guys look
like you’ve been friends for a long time.”
In each situation, the statement makes an educated guess and
engages the woman far more than any question will. Instead of
asking her about herself, you’re TELLING her about herself. The
only thing people love more than talking about themselves is
hearing about themselves. But what if you’re wrong?
That’s the best part! A lot of guys worry about cold-reading because
they’re afraid to state something incorrect. This is where human
nature works in our favor.
There’s no failing with cold-reading. With every cold-read, one of
three things will happen:
1. You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you.
2. You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that.
3. You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.
In the first result, she’ll basically just answer the question you based
your cold- read on and forget that you were wrong.
In the second result, you’ll be wrong, but she’ll be so intrigued by
your guess, that she’ll create a deeper conversation thread about
what you observed about her. Later in the chapter, we’ll talk about
the importance of creating the deepest threads possible.
In the third result, the few times you get the cold-read correct, she
will most likely be surprised at how perceptive you are about her.
This will generate a tidal wave of rapport immediately and impress
her at the same time.
Character is Destiny. - Heraclitus
Bboy100

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Re: Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements

Postby Ree » Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:07 pm

Thanks for sharing this....needed it
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Re: Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements

Postby lux7 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:45 am

The problem I see with this method is that whenever you stack a few wrong cold readings in a row... You look like a doofus (is that correct spelling?).

But more importantly, you look like you have nothing in common with her and you don't understand her.
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Re: Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements

Postby Fuck This » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:30 am

So don't stack cold reads.

When you are corrected on a cold read you can follow up with a question to get clarification. "Oh really? How did I get that wrong? Am I the first person to say you look like a model? "

Then listen and when appropriate relate your own experiences with people mis reading you.

And you have the start of a conversation thread.
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Re: Excerpt from Mark Manson's Ebook: Questions Versus Statements

Postby lux7 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 9:45 am

Fuck This wrote:So don't stack cold reads.

When you are corrected on a cold read you can follow up with a question to get clarification. "Oh really? How did I get that wrong? Am I the first person to say you look like a model? "

Then listen and when appropriate relate your own experiences with people mis reading you.

And you have the start of a conversation thread.


And when she says yes you are the only one who said that or looks like at you like "how the hell did you even think that" you're back at square one.

Anyway, I'm not against cold reading, it can work well, as long as you don't do a bunch of them in a row because a bunch of cold reads isn't much better than a bunch of questions interview-style.

But like you said, your example isn't bad because it branches off well to a deeper conversation.
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