Cafe Chronicles



Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:38 am

After discovering many types of venues, I realized that cafes suit me best, because of these advantages:
- Relatively high quality of girls
- It has the type of girls I want (intellectual, conservative, no tattoo/piercings/dyed)
- Numerous venues. I knew about 30 cafes in my cities, if I screw up in one there will be others
- I can work on something else

It has 2 weaknesses:
- Low influx of girls
- Small places, so impact of rejection is greater

Thus, by specializing in cafes I can build a process, that I can get girls over and over and over.
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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:03 am

Saturday, 11:30 pm, tea shop.

A girl came next to my table.
I waved my hands at her. She made a weird facial expression (duck face?)
Anyways, I waited 30 seconds, then opening. I held out my drink, saying "cheers," she cheered her drink with mine.

First 30 seconds was small talk (what's your name, where're you from). Then I complimented her shirts. She said she got her shirt at a men's shop. Then for 3 minutes I talked about random things, like my rings. She started asking me questions (hook point).

I focused on the fundamentals:
- Voice: In my room, my voice was deep and sweet. Unfortunately, 3 minutes in the conversation and my voice regressed
- Body language: I forgot where my hands were, and where my feet were. Leaning in or leaning out?
- Facial expression: I wasn't aware
- Eye contact: Probably good? I look between her eyes

Anyways, I asked for a date and got the number. This is the power of focus.
I used to meet girls at a lot of places, but most of the interactions were shallow, and occasionally I got lucky. Thus by focusing on getting good at just one type of venue:
- If I fail, it's because of my fundamentals, not the venue.
- "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times"
- Game become simpler, so I can focus on the fundamentals
readjusting


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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Sat May 11, 2019 5:50 pm

Mixed group, 2 girls 1 guy.
When I walked in the coffee shop, the blonde girl looked at me.
I didn’t approach right away.

Building social proof:
I went in line, chatting with a old lady behind me.
Then chatting with the staff, we vibed with each other a bit.

Reputation:
“Nice guy” vs “Player”:
Whether to dress like an obvious player, or something low key?
I think the former. The reason is this: If I was dressing low key, when I chatting with people I would have a “nice guy” reputation. Approaching girls would make me incongruent.
On the other hand, if I dressed like a player, but I’m pro-social and chatting with people, then I’ll have a “good player” reputation. When I approached as long as I did it confidently even if I got shot down that reputation remained.

The approach:
Then while waiting for my drink, I approached the group.
I waved my hands at the girl.
Delivering the direct opener.
(Note: If it’s close, then indirect, far it must be direct).
Introduction, exchanging name.

First 30 seconds:
Small talk.
There must be a teasing/chick crack in there.
Teasing, she didn’t understand. Her friend helped me a bit (because she saw 2 instances of social proof before).
Me: You lived here your whole life, probably
Her: Yeah
Me: You must know all the secret places
Her: I don’t hear it
(Maybe my voice was too small. Need to be louder).
Her friend: He said “secret places”
Me (rewarding the friend): See, your friend have good ears
Then I interacted with her friend a bit.
Back to her, I did some small talk, and asked if I can sit down (transition to locking in phase).
Her: We’re doing homework
Me: That’s fine
Eject
Her friend: Sorry, have a good day
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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Fri May 24, 2019 11:34 am

The power of assuming attraction:
Before I met Cozy, I mistook her for someone else.

I went into the coffee shop, and I saw a group of 3 blondes on the table. One of the girl looked like her, so I came up and said “I’m here, how’re you doing?” and she responded.

She had a visible contorted look on her face. I was surprised because Cozy was cozy in person and in text before, I thought it must be because the blonde woman was her mom. I asked her, and she was.

I introduced myself to the Blonde Mom and Blonde Friend. I got to know the Blonde Cozy, and relating.

At one point the Blonde Mom and Blonde Friend left, leaving us alone.
In additional she needed comfort, so I continued to warm the Blonde Cozy up.

Then she left.
“The date was pretty short,” I thought.

My phone vibrated,
“Hey are you here yet?”
A text from Cozy.
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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:36 pm

Blowing up limiting beliefs.

I planned to blow up soft beliefs first.

For example, when I was in a coffee shop, a girl in group looked at me, but I missed. I had 2 limiting beliefs:
- Approaching girl in group is hard
- Approaching a girl again if I miss the chance is impossible

Thus, I approached anyway.
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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:03 am

Recently I'm testing out a new structure of meeting girls. Essentially it's this article:
"What Women Need: Everything You (Men) Need to Know"

What I did was calibrating according to what she need right now. For example:
- Fashion: If I was in normal clothes, I already put her at ease, thus I used more intrigue techniques. If I was already in flashy clothes, she already intrigued, thus I would focus more on putting her at ease
- Signs: If a girl threw signs she wanted to be seduced. If a girl did not throw sign she wanted to be put at ease.
- One approach went like this:

In a coffee shop, the girl next to me looked at me. She was with a friend.
It meant she wanted to be seduced. So I opened with a "How are you doing?".
Her voice was hesitated, meaning she wanted to be put at ease. So I introduced, talked with both of the girl and the friend.
Then I started deep diving, asking about her major choices and hobby, to make sure she felt accepted.
I asked her out quickly, at 3 minutes:

Me: Are you free tomorrow?
Her: No ... I'm going to [part of town I was living in] tomorrow
It was a hint
Me: Yeah, I can take you out
Her: Yes
Showing that I "get it."

And now I screwed up:
Me: Great, we can go ______, or ______, and then ________, also ________
Her: Actually I'm busy tomorrow
Basically the "oversell" technique. In hindsight, this would work if I was one-on-one with the girl, because this tapped into her need to be seduced. But when she was with a friend, this would freak her out because her friend was watching. Thus I should have exchanged number and ejected in a low effort fashion to put her at ease.

Pros of the "what women need" structure:
- Low fundamentals need: You don't need to have good fundamentals to execute well
- Can be used in both social circle and cold approach
- Consistent: I had 90% opening rate in coffee shops with this structure, because opening depends on what she need right now. Hooking rate hovering around 40%.
- It's harmonious: This structure actually leaves a girl better after interacting with me
Cons:
- Complex: There are 7 needs in that article.
Though I didn't mind complexity that much. I admitted that it was easy to forget needs in the interaction. But for the "low fundamental needs" and "consistency" benefits I think it was worth mastering this structure for opening and beginning stage of interaction.
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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Sat Jul 13, 2019 2:36 am

Wednesday,
I reviewed my notes. Most approaches, I had the girls’ need to be put at ease and to be seduced perfectly executed. So I added 2 more needs in:
- To be intrigued: With “zero small talk flirtation” tech
- To be challenged: For example intentionally disagree with girls.

Friday,
Girl looked at me.
She want to be seduced.
so I came in.
She was talking animatedly.
Opening,
“I like your conversation ... it’s interesting” (intrigue)
But then I didn’t join the conversation, asking her name for compliance.
and talk with her.
So I flirted most of the time. For example:
I asked, “Friend or sister”
She and her friend was close, I said “Aww. You guys has good friendships” (intrigue)
“We’re very close”
“and rivalship” (challenge)
And asking her out when I saw the window.
She turned down first time, I persisted once and got her to agree
She was with friend so I traded number.
readjusting


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Re: Cafe Chronicles

Postby readjusting » Sun Jul 21, 2019 3:38 am

Recent improvements with my game:
- Using compliance in interactions: I didn’t calibrate it well, but after 100 instances it will help.
I got 3 numbers, 1 email from coffee shops. Surprisingly the phone numbers were all dead, but the girl giving out email responded.
Probably because email was more creative.
- Night time street game: 2 cheek kisses.
- Beach game: I played with one girl in the water. Heavy touching. Pulling her out of the beach to my place was the current sticking point,
- Deep voice: 10 days nofap helped. My broscience theory was that the body thought, “Oh shit, no action in 10 days, We have to make the voice deeper so he can get laid.”
readjusting


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