Ken's Journal II

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
Hey everyone. It's been a long time since I had a journal. The last time I had one, I only had one post in it. But this time, I plan on doing more than one post for this journal.

I will admit that I haven't been doing that much cold approach lately. I kinda stopped in late 2017, because I lost all motivation to do so. I kept getting the same results: sometimes I would get her number but never get her on a date, sometimes she would say that she has a boyfriend, and other times the interaction would not go past the first sentence. I got discouraged and I stopped talking to new girls.

Earlier this year, I got a bad case of oneitis. I "fell in love" with some girl that I had become friends with late last year. I asked her out. she said yes. But when I tried to get her phone number, she said that she was getting a new number and asked me to message her on Instagram instead. I did, and I freaked out about it because I thought that she blocked me. But she didn't and she never respond to my DM. My emotions sunk, and along with other things that happened in my real life, it affected my grades. I got two C's and an F last semester. Then, this semester, she gets back with her ex: a guy that I know and that I am friends with. It sucked. This happened because I stopped cold approaching. We are still friends though.

When I joined Girls Chase, I thought that it would help me get the results with girls that I have always desired. Instead, nothing has changed, I feel like I am in the same place I was in 2015, and I wasted four years of college. Every time I post on Girls Chase, it feels like I have accomplished nothing next to other members who have joined the forums after I did. Earlier this year, someone in one of the threads I started recommend to me the "How to Avoid Being a Nice Guy" article by Halvor. One of the pieces of advice in that article was to get Cognitive Behavior Therapy to deal with any sort of negative behavior. I started looking for that a few months ago. I saw a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist during the summer, but I couldn't see her again because she did not accept my health care provider. I still plan on seeing one, to deal with the negative behaviors that affect my life.

So, I am not approaching any girls right now. How do I avoid going into full blown depression? Because it feels like that's the way my life is going right now. I have never diagnosed with it, but my mother has been.
 

lostnumber

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 31, 2017
Messages
307
Have you tried online dating at all? I have mad respect for anyone that truly masters cold approach and is walking up to random women and getting laid, but that always seemed way too intimidating to me. I lucked out and got a few girls through social circle before I discovered tinder and online dating. I've gotten good enough at online game that I've never felt the need to tackle cold approaching.

I'd never tell someone not to do it if they really wanted to, but since it sounds like you're not having a lot of success it might be worth trying a different tactic. Getting rejected over and over again sucks, but its a lot easier online than face to face.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
lostnumber said:
Have you tried online dating at all? I have mad respect for anyone that truly masters cold approach and is walking up to random women and getting laid, but that always seemed way too intimidating to me. I lucked out and got a few girls through social circle before I discovered tinder and online dating. I've gotten good enough at online game that I've never felt the need to tackle cold approaching.

I'd never tell someone not to do it if they really wanted to, but since it sounds like you're not having a lot of success it might be worth trying a different tactic. Getting rejected over and over again sucks, but its a lot easier online than face to face.

No, I have not tried online dating. In fact, I don't plan on doing online dating until after I get good at cold approach. I mean, if I can't get laid in real life, then there is no chance of me getting laid online.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
Fundamentals: While I have improved my fundamentals during my first three years at this forum, I feel like I can do a lot more to improve them. Among the improvements that I have made in those three years: I grew my hair out for the first time in my life, I starting getting rid of ill-fitting clothes and replacing them with better fitting clothes, and I started working out more recently this year. As for some of the things I can do to improve my fundamentals even more: I am a skinny boy, so I could work out more to improve my body and get a more masculine build, look at Darius' articles on fashion and get outfits he suggests in them, work on making my voice more louder. I will be getting a haircut on the 2nd, so I could find a hairstyle that I like from one of Blumaan's videos on Youtube and find out how to style it like that.

I have to go to sleep soon, so I will be listing more ways I can improve my fundamentals tomorrow.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
Sorry for the long time between posts. I've been putting this off for a long time. Anyway, I have not had the success with women that I am looking for since I joined the Girls Chase forums in 2015. The reason is simple: it is all my fault. I have not worked hard enough to get the success that I want with women or socializing. Plus, I have been letting fear get in the way of approaching women. I have been letting feat get in the way for too long. It is time for me to push it aside.

Recently, I have been spending more time off the forums and less time posting on here because I feel like I have not done as much as other people on this forum, including people who joined this forum after me. I have also been complaining about the same things way too much on here and I do not want to keep talking about them over and over again.

It is up to me to improve with women. No one else can do it for me, and no one else should. I need to get back to cold approaching women and keep doing so despite the failure. I start my next semester of college on Monday, the day of my 23rd birthday. So I will start cold approaching again on that date.
 

Ambiance

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 8, 2015
Messages
497
Location
Beyond the Great Vast Forest
What's up Ken-

Feeling like you you've not made enough progress in a given period of time is something I've struggled with too. I'd guess nearly everyone on this site goes through it to some degree. Only exceptions I can think of might be Franco and Richard, who from what I know relentlessly threw themselves into seduction and wracked up experience fast. And I might just not know enough about their stories.

You can't let it get you down though. If you're not cold approaching right now (and be honest with yourself), you need to be doing SOMETHING. Whatever it takes to get you some momentum.

I would try online dating. I went through the same hesitance you are going through, since I wasn't cold approaching as much as I should have, but ultimately made the plunge. The result? My texting game is wicked, I've improved my fundamentals quite a bit to compete, and have learned how to get a bunch of dates whenever I want. Probably half of these dates result in sex.

You had asked me about what to journal about? Figure out what you want from seduction, write it down, and track your progress as your mission evolves. For me that is Absolute Abundance, which means getting and keeping my choice women with minimal difficulty.

Finally, the main site has the answers to all your questions. If you dig enough, you WILL find purpose. Such purpose will vaporize any depression you feel.

Best of luck brother!
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
Recently, I have been spending more time off the forums and less time posting on here because I feel like I have not done as much as other people on this forum, including people who joined this forum after me. I have also been complaining about the same things way too much on here and I do not want to keep talking about them over and over again.

It is up to me to improve with women. No one else can do it for me, and no one else should. I need to get back to cold approaching women and keep doing so despite the failure. I start my next semester of college on Monday, the day of my 23rd birthday. So I will start cold approaching again on that date.
Yo man, you got this.

Don't compare yourself to other people who succeed on the forums, learn from them. You can see so many dudes on here that started WAAAY behind others in terms of experience. Yet, they kept at it. They worked and worked until they found themselves with the fundamentals, the skills, and the insight they needed.

They earned all of those things by putting in the effort.

Compare yourself to yourself. Compete with yourself. Having present expectations to be at other people's level with women just doesn't make sense. You are where you are at, there is no getting around that. If you think you can do better and you feel within you the urge and desire to do better, then recognize it might be time to get serious about putting work in.

You're right, it's up to you. And once you start pushing yourself and exceeding your limits you'll recognize how powerful of a realization that is, and how boundless your energy, effort, and performance can feel.

Get after it, man.


Hue
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
So, for years I have been trying to approach one girl for four straight days while on campus. I decided that this week will be the week that I will achieve this girl. With the weather being nice outside and being more like spring than winter, this is the best time to day so. Two days down, two to go. Here is the first day: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=19960

The second day will be added tomorrow. I need to get some sleep.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
So yesterday, I cold approached a girl on campus later on in the day than I did on Monday. She had pale skin and dark hair. I told her that she was cute, and before I could ask her what her name is, she told me that she had a boyfriend. Then I told her that I had one too, shout outs to Marcellus for suggesting that to me. Her reply was, "nice to know". I laughed as I walked away.

Sadly, I did not cold approach today. I will complete my goal of cold approach one girl for four straight days while on campus this semester. I will try again when the weather gets warmer.
 

Marcellus

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
297
My Man! Laughed for like 10 minutes at you using my line hahahahahahah!!!!!!! It's literally the funniest thing ever, whether it works or not haha
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
It;s been a while since I've updated this. I have been cold approaching a lot during the past few days, more than I have in the past two years. I will be adding those here over the next few days.

On February 1, I responded to Hector's selfie, and we had a little chat on his post. In that chat, I told him about people here recommending me to do online dating and he said that online dating is for guys who are already getting results or else it will be a crutch. Then he told me to go approach. So I did. I made two approaches between February 1 and February 8.

On February 8, I DM'd Hector and asked him how do I go about improving my inner game.

His response was that I don't even approach. He says that how am I gonna improve my inner game, then tells me that I have no basis to fix my mind because I lack concrete evidence to give a mindset any strength.

I then asked him how many times a work must I approach in order to have enough evidence and told him about the two girls that I approached recently. He said a lot more than that, then added that because I'm on the Autism Spectrum I won't be able to intuitively learn things. Then, he states that I will need lots of concrete evidence and tells me to go do 500 approaches, then we'll talk about inner game. Hector told me that he has talked too thousands upon thousands upon thousands of women.

In my head, I'm thinking that I can never do 500 approaches. Doing one approach a day for four straight days is enough of a challenge for me. I then asked him, "500 approaches in one week?" No, he sent to me, you can be patient. 500 in six months. Then came back. He told me to write notes on every detail (which I have) and try to find patterns.

I asked him if they all had to be with women I didn't know prior to approaching and he said yes. I am thinking that 500 approaches in six months is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. In fact, getting girls is the most difficult thing that I ever had to do in my life. But at the same time, if my prior way of approaching worked, I would not be asking Hector for advice, would I? So I decided to do it, despite thinking that this is an impossible task and that at most, I will end up with 100 or less approaches in six months.

It took me a while to start, but I did, and it started to gradually get a bit easier. So far, I have done eight of the 500 approaches that Hector asked me to do. The first one will be posted tomorrow.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
Sorry for the delay, again. It's just that I've been putting this off for weeks. Writing this approach on here is just so much work and I feel that way about a lot of things in my life right now. Me personally, I'd rather do the easy things first and the hard things never. This time around, I'm doing the hard thing (writing this journal entry) first. I've meant to do this way earlier, but I kept getting distracted by bullshit. Anyway, from this point on I will be numbering my approaches, from 1 to 500. I got 9 approaches as of today. This is the advice that Hector gave me: to approach 500 girls in 6 months, all of them being girls who I did not know prior to approaching them. He said that this is how I get experience with girls.

#1

February 13

It took me a few days after I got that PM from Hector (the one where he told me to approach 500 girls in 6 months) to approach a girl. Even then, I had to convince myself that you miss all the shots that you don't take. That's one of the things that I still struggle with in terms of approaching. I keep putting it off until later (in terms of approaching on campus) and I have a hard time finding a girl to approach. Plus, I keep letting my approach anxiety get in the way of me approaching girls.

But anyway, I saw a girl on campus and walked up to her. Before I could preopen her, she looked up at me. I said hi, then she said what's up. I responded and told her she was attractive. We introduced ourselves and I asked her where she was going. She was going to class. I then asked her where her class was, but she was busy checking her texts or texting on her phone or something. She asked me what I said. I repeat my question, and she said her class was on the other side of campus. I asked her a few questions about herself, and she answered. Her major is political science, she choose it because she likes law, and she wanted to use her degree to get into law school. She also wanted to become a lawyer. I then tell her that it's a good thing that her degree means something, and she agrees.

She told me that she is about to call someone. And that was the last thing we said to each other. Our conversation didn't end, it just stopped. I thought I was walking next to her, but when I looked up, I saw that I was walking next to an old Asian woman, and the girl I approached was on the other side. As soon as I saw her, I went the other way.

She looked into my eyes occasionally, when she wasn't on her phone, and she didn't ask me any questions.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#2

February 15

Out of the nine approaches I have done so far, this is the far one that I have not done on campus. I should do more approaches outside of campus. Anyway, I got out of CBT therapy and was heading to eat. On the train station where I got off, I saw a brunette white girl with a pretty face and nice, striking eyes. They were either green or hazel. I told her that she had nice, striking eyes, and she said thank you. I said you're welcome. and before I could say anything else, she took a call on her phone. Then, I left.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#3

February 27

Before, I was walking in the opposite direction as her. When I saw her walking towards me, I did an about-face and spun on my heel so I can talk to her. I looked at her while I preopened her. She was a short, skinny Indian girl. Then, after i touched the side of her shoulder, she looked up at me. I told her that she was attractive, and she said thank you. I introduce myself, and she said that her name was Kira. I was about to ask her where she was going, but she said she was going to the building that we were right next to, where her class was. I said bye, and she said bye, and we left.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#4

March 6

I saw her walking in the opposite direction of me, so I turned around and followed her. She's a white girl with a pretty face. There was ice on the ground, and it was snowing that day, so I walked through and around that, while she was doing the same ahead of me. After I finished walking the icy walkway, she was there and while she walked she looked towards my direction.

I touched her the back of her shoulder, and she looked at me. I direct opened her, and then we introduced ourselves. I said to her nice to meet you, then I asked her where she was going. She said she was going to math, and we made small talk about math. She is a Physical Therapy major. Then we get to her building, and I told that I want to see her again. I try to get her number, but she says that I'm a nice guy but she has a boyfriend.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#5

March 7

There's this girl in the Library. Black hair, brown eyes, pink lips, beautiful face. She was wearing a black long sleeve sweater. She looked Middle Eastern.

It took me a while to go talk to her. I sat across from her in the same table and stare at her for a few minutes while wondering what to say. I went upstairs for a bit to look for other girls to approach. Then I came back downstairs, and she was talking to a friend. And then the friend left. After a few minutes, I decided to talk to her.

I said hello from across the table. She removed her airpod and asked if I'd said something. I repeated myself.

Then, we made small talk about what she is doing on her laptop as well as her major. Her major is sociology.

She tells me that she has to get back to working on her anthropology project. So I leave.

A few days later, I asked her for her name. Her name is Lillian, and I have talked to her several times after approaching her. She is slowly becoming a friend of mine.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#6

March 11

I was walking toward the fountain when I saw a girl in black sitting on the hard seats around the fountain.

I went to the are between where she was sitting, to get a closer look at her face to see if she was attractive or if she was someone I knew. She was attractive, and I didn't know her, so I approached.

I walked up to her, preopened her, and she looked up at my eyes. I direct approached her and we introduced ourselves.

She said that we had class together, and I told her that we had two. While we spoke once, in the second class, we didn't know each other, so this counts as one of the 500 approaches. I asked her about herself. My friend Devon walked in during the approach, said hi to her, and dapped me up. We both know him.

A few minutes later, she gets up and tells me that she has class. I tell her that I want to see her again, but she said she has a boyfriend and that she's a nice person.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#7

March 12

I saw her sitting in the table on the second floor of a building on campus. I went to the bathroom, and decided to approach after seeing that she was still there.

At first, I hesitated. Then, I approached.

I preopened her, and she looked up. I opened direct, and we introduced ourselves.

I asked her things. What's your major, why did she choose that major, etc.

She spent most of the conversation on her phone, and I could get the sense that she was not interested.

I left.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#8

March 14

I had an appointment in a few minutes, and while walking there I saw a thick Spanish girl walk by. She had a pretty face, and I had wanted to approach her earlier in the library, but I didn't.

I preopened her, then I direct opened her. We introduced ourselves. Her name was Emily. We talked about what we were doing at the time as we went inside the science building. She needed to get something from there.

We walked and she was looking for the stairs. She couldn't' find any. She asked me questions. At last, she found an elevator. I told her that I enjoyed speaking to her and I wanted to see her again. She said no. I asked if it's because she has a boyfriend. as she was in the elevator. She said yes. I wished her a good day as the elevator closed and I left.
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
227
Location
Staten Island, NY
#9

March 18

She was talking to friends in the Library early on. Then, I noticed her by herself in the same table. I was going to approach a different blonde, but she wasn't there at the moment. So I decided to approach her.

I went over to where she was. She turned and looked at me before I could preopen her. I direct opened her as I sat down. We introduced ourselves. Her name was Sabrina. We shook hands.

I asked her what she was doing here, sand she told me that she had class soon. Then I asked her where her class was specifically, and he said on campus, with a laugh. I could tell that she was not interested. While she looked at her laptop, I left.
 
Top
>