The Postgrad Life



Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Wed Jan 16, 2019 1:24 am

LR here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=19882

I'm really happy and had a great connection with the girl. Didn't do any approaches, don't care. Tomorrow it's back on the approach machine and going to try and meet new girls.

Need to figure out why my dick didn't perform well tonight though. That's something I'll need to investigate. I haven't masturbated in two weeks, but I had been masturbating a lot before the new year. I think porn and that has me out of whack. I'm not going to jack off for a long time as a goal, so my body will just need to adjust.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Fri Jan 18, 2019 3:59 pm

Did 1 real approach and 2 bad approaches two days ago. And did 5 yesterday. I can still improve on being decisive and going not giving up so quickly.

Firstly, I need to make approaching my default, I’m still pushing myself to do it which means I second guess myself at times when I could be talking to a girl.

I also need to not immediately bounce if a girl gives an excuse for not being with me. Was talking to a French girl yesterday and she said that she had plans, but she was still talking to me, so I shouldn’t have left. The lesson is that I have to keep pushing myself to go for it.

Two girls hooked yesterday which is not as high as I want, but still not too shabby. Meeting girl from Tuesday in a few days so hoping to get something casual set up with her.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:32 am

3 approaches today and one insta-date. So for the first three approaches, I think my vibe was way off. I don't think any of the girls even stopped for me, which was definitely an ouch. I have to be more assertive and dominant when street stopping. The other thing was the first second girl I talked to, I had an instinct that I should do a policeman stop, but I doubted myself and did a run around stop instead. It didn't go well. Next time, I need to pay more attention to my instinct. I think my approach would have gone over much better with a different opening.

The insta-date was a solid spur of the moment, decisive approach. It was also a good use of peripherals. I'm working on becoming a man of action, and the results are already piling up. 2 dates in 1 week, so I have a solid feeling for the future. Set up a date with M (girl from LR) for Monday, and will hopefully see A (insta date girl) on Wednesday. Either way, I have to keep approaching. It's going to be harder since it's starting to get really cold, but I have a good feeling regardless.

FR: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=19896
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:11 pm

So it’s been an uneventful week in terms of new girls. Approached 2 girls last Saturday, 5 on Wednesday, and 2 yesterday. The positives are that I was more decisive when I saw a girl I liked, and I approached one of the most beautiful girls I’ve seen yesterday. On the negative side, I’m not approaching as much, which I need to improve. I’m aiming for a goal of 5 a day so I have to do better.
Things to improve: I’m moving too fast through the conversation. I need to slow it down and get to know the girl better before asking her out or going for an insta date. This is a calibration issue, so it’s something I’ll pay attention to as such.

Met one girl for date 2 and had some public mutual masturbation, while the second girl flaked on date 2.

I’m trying to set a FB frame and so hopefully that works. I need to lower my texting and be more disciplined. The good thing is that I’m coming off as highly sexual.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sun Feb 03, 2019 6:44 pm

Been pretty bad at approaching recently. But trying to fix it. Yesterday approached 6 people, and got 1 number. Today went out for a bit and approached 1 girl. Girl who gave me her number is responding semi-warmly, so will hopefully set something up.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:02 pm

Don’t really have too many updates. I’ve approached about 7 girls in the last week, which is low and I’m not happy about it. The good news is that I am approaching the girls I really like. However most are happy to meet me but with some bad luck they all seemed to not be single. I need to lower my standards to girls who are attractive but not necessary 10s. Doing this should get me more dates and more experience.

It’s going well with the other girl, and it’s a new experience to be having sex on a regular basis.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:57 pm

So last week I felt really burned out, and I decided to take a week off of approaching to get my desire and interest in meeting girls back. This last weekend I went out both days and had a good time. I approached one girl who I think was waiting on her boyfriend, and then had one girl approach me. She was unattractive but the validation felt good. The next day I went out again and opened a cute girl near a taco truck in the bar. We talked and I think she liked me. I got compliance from her in that I told her to come sit next to me while we ate, which she did. I was talking more, which was not good, but I think it was going well. I told her we should exchange numbers and grab drinks later, and we traded numbers. I went to grab napkins to wipe my hands and during that time her friend came up to her. I came back and sat next to her. Her friend said she was leaving, and I think I should have persisted in having her stay by saying I was enjoying spending time with her.
Either way I texted her and she replied. I texted an ice breaker, then a follow up, to which she responded to, then I sent a scheduler text, which she didn’t respond to. I sent another message two days later asking how her week was going, to which she said that she just got out of a 4 year relationship and isn’t going to be looking to date for a while. I’ll provably try once more by saying that I’m not the type to put a lot of pressure and that we don’t need to have any labels on the date. I think I missed my chance on Saturday, but it felt good getting back out there.

Tried walking around yesterday and today but my approach anxiety is back, even though I feel like my vibe is back to a good place. So I just need to get back into the groove and then should see some results start back up.

Jersey girl is still going, but I think it may be fizzling out, since we haven’t seen each other for a while. But she messaged yday saying she wished she was cuddling with me, so I think it’s still good. So far I’m keeping it pretty good as FBs with texting and seeing each other so hopefully that continues happily.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Thu Feb 28, 2019 9:47 pm

So approach anxiety and getting stuck in my own head has been responsible for killing my vibe lately. It's something I'm going to need to fix in order to see any improvement. In order to do so, I'm going to have to go back to the basics.

1. Have sex (I'm meeting a girl) and don't cum. Should make me super horny and work to motivate me.
2. Fundamentals
2.1 Focus on smiling all the time
2.2 Always dress well
2.3 Get a haircut
2.4 Restart regularly working out and doing sprints every 2-3 days
2.5 Eat healthy and lose the gut (aim for 1800-2000 calories a day, and start tracking again)
2.6 Cut down non-work/non-date screen time to under an hour a day
3. Routine
3.1 5 girls a day. From tomorrow, I'm not going to allow myself home until midnight, or until I approach 5 girls
3.1.2 Approach the first girl who catches your eye (after exiting residential complex). Expect to be rejected and no matter what, do the approach. If you wuss out, go back and follow and do the approach.
3.2 Going out: Go out on Friday and Saturday night (try going stag on one of those days)
3.3 While out and about: be more social, talk to everyone and anyone, work on deep diving and flirting
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sat Mar 02, 2019 1:41 pm

Went out yesterday and had one really good conversation. The girl was definitely interested but the main issue was that I should have led. Me and my wing had miscommunication and as a result we let the girls get away. I had suggested we move to a new bar and she was down, but because there were two of them, I should have been high energy and suggested going somewhere different. Next time I’ll remember that. Did well on following the routine, don’t think I’ll have time today to day game, but will probably go to an alumni event so hopefully there will be some cute girls there.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Fri Mar 08, 2019 9:06 pm

So I’m having a hard time going straight to 5 girls a day, so I’m going to build up. The last three days I did one approach a day, they were all awful and I didn’t even introduce myself. Today I aimed for 2, the first one was the same as the previous, but the second girl was a cute blonde girl and she hooked. Turns out she’s in tech and is my age so that’s nice. She seemed quite receptive and I would’ve tried for an insta date but I have plans tonight. Grabbed her number and talked a few more minutes. I think she’ll respond and I benefit from the new to the city effect too. She’s been here 6 months and is from Texas, but went to school in Oklahoma. Her pupils were quite dilated, so I have a feeling she was attracted.

Working out is going well, I feel better for doing it. It’s quite cold so my style is still not the best, but it should get better as I work out more and the weather allows me to wear tighter clothes. Food has been good and I’ve been counting calories, but my family is visiting this week so I anticipate a lot of eating.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:15 pm

Been doing a few approaches and they’re hooking better. I’m attributing that to my improved vibe, which a visit from my family has helped boost. Did an indirect-direct approach at the grocery store yesterday and it went pretty decently, I think I should have been warmer, and the conversation was a little boring. But the girl gave me her number so that’s still a win. Working on improving the number of approaches still.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:56 am

Did two approaches yesterday. First one was bad, second was better but she was on her way to a date. Not sure the best way to handle that. But first girl was bad because it was a warmup and I was rusty, bad vibe, and was not smiling.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sun Apr 14, 2019 9:24 am

Did three approaches yesterday and had good vibe for all of them. First one I was too in my head so it got awkward and she left. Second was this Swedish student from upstate nyc but got her number so we’ll see if I can see her if she visits the city. Last was a girl on the subway. She had a boyfriend but I think my approach was still good and talked to her for a couple of stops.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sun Apr 28, 2019 10:13 am

Did a decent number of approaches over the last few days. Vibe was good, but I need to be more dominant and sexy instead of nice guy. Still the decisiveness is comforting and I think I’ll improve and get my volume up very soon.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Wed May 08, 2019 7:45 pm

Did 4 approaches today and got 3 numbers. First approach was awful, but she was the cutest girl. Still annoyed. She was standing still on the curb and I tried to grab her attention, but she was on her phone. Definitely not enough space between us either. I should have gone behind and once she started moving, then done the approach. Second girl I walked after for a while, but it went well and we talked before I grabbed her number. She’s from California and works as a recruiter at a tech company.. Third girl I did kind of the same thing, but a different compliment. She’s from philly and works in an accounting thing. She was pretty cute, and seemed to like me. She was wearing a ring so I asked if she was single and she said yes. Locked her in onto a wall near me, and realized she wasn’t free for an insta date, so grabbedthe number. Last girl was while I was walking home, saw this cute Asian girl (little bit thicker but I’m trying to lower my standards to date hotter girls). She’s a resident physician from California. What’s interesting was that she was on her way to a date, but seemed hesitant about calling it one. So I told her to give me her number and if it doesn’t work out, then we should grab a coffee. That’s the least likely to work out, but I want to learn how to handle this type of approach, since it’s happened to me fairly often now.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Mon May 13, 2019 10:38 pm

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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:20 pm

Update from the past few weeks. I was doing a lot of approaches the week before this one, and I headed to Vegas last weekend. I spent a week at home and was not able to game.

In Vegas first night we went to a outdoor club at the Wynn, and I talked to a bunch of girls, but it definitely felt like people were there to dance. In general I stayed on the outskirts and tried to talk to girls. Sucks because one of my friends was single but was not interested in meeting girls. Mostly rejections but had one longer conversation with a girl. She seemed like she was heading out but I talked for a bit. Probably should have touched her more and if I’d led more, it may have gone better. Also there was a different girl in line who seemed to like me, but she was at a VIP table so there was no way for me to meet her.

Next day we went to a pool party. Much more my scene and I flirted with this one Iranian girl. I asked her what she thought I did and she glanced at my butt so I teased her for that. Met a different girl at the bar who was in to me off the bat. Didn’t have to do much but tell her to come in the pool with me and we danced and made out.

One thing I would do differently is open girls on the casino floor. During the day there isn’t as much to do so I should have taken advantage of that more.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Wed Jun 26, 2019 7:45 pm

3 approaches today. First one was mainly a warmup, but my positioning during the open was good and the girl stopped. She started walking again mid opener though. Don't think she was interested plus I should probably have been smiling more. Second girl was this asian girl who had a boyfriend. I think I delivered it well, but she started walking away but was smiling and looking back so I started jogging up to walk with her and she said that she had a boyfriend when she noticed what I was about to do. Third girl I was too timid and didn't have much conviction during the approach which is why I don't think it stuck as well.

First day in a few weeks though so I'm treating it as a warmup. Upped the style by buying a tighter, better fitting pair of jeans and also put an order in for a laptop bag so I don't have to carry around an ugly backpack.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Mon Jul 01, 2019 9:42 pm

So did 5 approaches today. Was good because I hit the number I was aiming for.

First one went well. I'm focusing on vibe, and making my approaches not seem like a big deal, and to make them more natural. She stopped and I started talking to her. She was getting water then heading home. I said "let's go" and led the way to where she was going, and continued talking. We went inside a Starbucks, and we got some waters. While waiting, I told her that I wanted to grab coffee with her, but she was very, very hesitant, so I changed the subject. Outside the Starbucks, I suggested it again, and she said it was too random, and that she wasn't comfortable. I walked some more with her, and asked her one more time, but she said no again. Ah well. On the bright side, I was persistent, and while my conversation could have been better and more fun, it was still an improvement on my recent approaches.

The other 4 weren't as interesting. I'm still being too timid, but the approaches are feeling like less of a big deal. So I'll continue focusing on that and vibe and then start focusing more on my presence on boldness.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Sun Jul 07, 2019 5:48 pm

Weekend update:
Went out July 2 by myself for the first time in a long time. On the way to the club, I approached a girl in the subway station. The good part of this approach was that I was the right distance away from her (closer than polite distance). She hooked and we talked for a few minutes. I found out she was a nurse during surgeries, and I asked her if she was down for drinks. She said sure and gave me her number. I think this could have been approved by asking for it on a high point, which I need to improve through better conversation. I think I need to add a little banter, especially at the beginning in order to make it a little more fun/flirty.

At the club itself, I felt very stupid and had so much approach anxiety that I couldn't approach a single girl, even though there were many cute ones who I should have opened. I ended up leaving after an hour.

I went out on Friday with a wingman, and we opened up a few different girls. I had two solid interactions where the girl hooked and had an extended conversation. The first one I was standing on the wall next to the edge of a rooftop, and a girl came next to me (leaving her group of friends) and went to take a picture. I took it as an approach invitation and opened her with "How would you rank this view amongst all your favorite rooftop bars?" I like it because it's simple and fairly innocent. I think I did not seed enough interest though, so the girl eventually ejected back to her friend group. That could have been improved by being more challenging, and bantering a little more to make the vibe more playful. The second girl I talked to was an Indian girl. I talked to her for 15-20 minutes, and got some compliance and investment, but she seemed more interesting in hanging out with her friends. I think again, this would be much more improved if I were to banter more, be more challenging, and sexualize the interaction. I've been feeling too "nice guy" at the moment, and I don't think I'm generating much arousal. Will have to improve that with better eye contact, touch, and adding fun, sexual frames.

Did two approaches today. First one was not bad, and I'm happy with my decisiveness. However, she had a boyfriend, and I was having trouble keeping up the conversation. Also it didn't feel as fun (due to my inability to lead the conversation to fun banter/interesting topics). I think I might be switching to deep diving too early, and should focus more on keeping it lighter at the beginning, busting the girl's balls a little bit, and being a little more of a lovable asshole. Will focus on that this week.

The night game benefited me and refreshed me for my day game approaches. I feel better about having approaches not being as big of a deal. Today, both girls stopped for me, and I was able to trade names, which has been eluding me recently. Most girls were leaving almost directly after my opener previously, so even that mild improvement was welcome.
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Re: The Postgrad Life

Postby Kvothe » Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:30 pm

Had a date a week and half ago, going to write a FR.

After that, did 1 approach on the subway with a girl who was probably around 19 or 20. She stood next to me in the subway, and I took it as an AI. I asked if she knew when the next train was coming, and she made some additional comment and I started talking. At one point I touched her arm (while on the train), which I think may have creeped her out. She left me at the same station, and told me she was probably too young for me when I asked for her number. I probably should have tried to build more comfort and also made my age more explicit. My beard was decently long, so I looked way older.

Injured my neck, so I've been recovering at home, and had a friend staying with me, so approaches are low right now.
Never let fate dictate what life has in store for you
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