Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves



Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:37 pm

Hey guys, I've been in this situation a couple of times where a girl shows signs of attraction/curiosity, I try to push the interaction forward and persist but ultimately get rejected. Ofcourse this is not mind baffling since rejection is common and can happen regularly. What has always surprised me though is that some girls who have rejected me in the past have gone into autorejection themselves after I have (usually swiftly) moved on. They get sad and angry. I never have understood this dynamic. I understand normal autorejection when I do not act on escalation windows, but I have never understood autorejection when a girl has placed serious obstacles, heavy resistance or rejection themselves. It doesn't make any sense to me. If there is any kind of savant around you, enlighten me. I seriously want to understand this now.
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby fog » Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:00 pm

if you can post an example from a specific interaction, i would be more than happy to help you understand what is going on :)
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:53 pm

O hey man, I actually forgot I started this conversation.

Sure, I will try to jot something down. Problem is I encountered this pattern more then once but it always came with a different flavour, so one incident will not cut it. There is one correlation however, in both examples the girls did not seem to like me in the beginning, but started becoming pretty obsessed later on, showing obvious attraction/curiosity. Maybe that has to do with something. I really don't know. Maybe I did not fit in their specific archetype or something.


Example 1: Girl I really liked some time ago (years).

I met a girl from social circle, at her job to be exact and we never had one on one time because there was tons of social pressure since it was a conservative environment and really busy. Finally me and friends orchestrated a situation where she and I were alone. The girl send off her girlfriend away with a lame excuse because I guess she wanted to get to know me, pretty much facilitating isolation. The girl was extremely nervous and obviously tried to please me in a really submissive way. However our time alone was cut short because of another customer who entered the store. Point was: it was almost impossible for me to get her alone. Just trust me on this. Soon another of her colleague came and I could forget about making a move there and then. I became impatient and basically asked her over facebook the same night if she wanted to go out and drink some coffee. I know full well that asking out over facebook is a dumb thing to do but the logistics were against me and I lost my patience. Girl ignored the text despite her obvious attraction. Which I did not understand. I saw her next week and played it cool, saw her being emotional so tried to persist again at the next opportunity, but she threw me under the bus among people in a REALLY harsh way. I however had great frame control at that moment and left coolly with a smile.
Thereafter I started ignoring her because I always had female attention and soon she started chasing after me hard. However I already was in autorejection since I did not see any progress in one month and distrusted her for playing games. A short while later I got into a relationship with another nice girl and this girl who rejected me became extremely angry to the point of crying when she learned about it. So yeah, that was quite confusing. A year later she was still chasey and flip flopping into autorejection when she saw me.

Example 2:

I actually wrote about this girl on a post before. So I will copy paste it:

"Usually this is pretty binary (0/1), but I can remember this one incident from quite some time ago on which I can still not put my finger. I noticed this girl keeping an eye on me covertly for some time. One day she gave me an obvious approach invitation (hovered next to me) which I used promptly, I deep dived well, had a good connection. I asked her out and she agreed very enthousiastically. I finished conversation on a good note and went about my business and not 2 minutes later she started verbally resisting me HARD publicly, pretty much backpedalling after our conversation was already over. (buyers remorse?) I was in no position to persist, so wrote her up as a lost cause. 10 minutes later I noticed her staring at me with a confused look (thinking and processing really hard) and I was creeped out because of the weirdness. She was a really nice girl but the behavior was all over the place and I had to think about my reputation. (Social circle)

Next time I saw her, she was VERY happy to see me (weird huh?), but I already had moved on, I guess I had autorejected myself, which in some cases is a healthy thing to do. Soon after I met some new girls, which she noticed and flew into autorejection pretty bad. Afterwards I noticed her going out of her way hovering around my workplace (she is not a colleague, but I noticed her across the street where she had no business) while also having tense bodylanguage. "

Point is, I do have my succes and when I am in the vicinity of girls I can always get a couple of good leads. Yesterday I had a waitress "bump" on to me accidentily after me catching her looking at me multiple times etc. My fundamentals are pretty good. Opening is no issue, closing is no issue. I am not some kind of bum. However with a couple of girls who I really liked in the past I had that bad pattern which had me scratching my head multiple times. When I see them some time later the same questions arise about what happened. This is without a doubt my greatest sticking point with some girls I really liked.

Thanks in advance
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Tue Feb 05, 2019 12:52 pm

Fog,

You made me write a book without ever responding man :D :D. Ah well, let's chalk it up to mystery.
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby fog » Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:40 pm

DarkKnight wrote:I met a girl from social circle, at her job to be exact and we never had one on one time because there was tons of social pressure since it was a conservative environment and really busy. Finally me and friends orchestrated a situation where she and I were alone. The girl send off her girlfriend away with a lame excuse because I guess she wanted to get to know me, pretty much facilitating isolation. The girl was extremely nervous and obviously tried to please me in a really submissive way. However our time alone was cut short because of another customer who entered the store. Point was: it was almost impossible for me to get her alone. Just trust me on this. Soon another of her colleague came and I could forget about making a move there and then. I became impatient and basically asked her over facebook the same night if she wanted to go out and drink some coffee. I know full well that asking out over facebook is a dumb thing to do but the logistics were against me and I lost my patience. Girl ignored the text despite her obvious attraction. Which I did not understand. I saw her next week and played it cool, saw her being emotional so tried to persist again at the next opportunity, but she threw me under the bus among people in a REALLY harsh way. I however had great frame control at that moment and left coolly with a smile.


this is a good start but im a little confused...

what youre saying is that she works at some venue that you're a regular at? and she was working one day, and it was just you and her in the venue for a small amount of time, for the most part?

you mention she was trying to please you. how? by facilitating isolation, or were there other ways as well?

what did you do and say to her when you guys were alone? and what were you hoping to do if you guys had enough time alone together?

one last question: do you guys both know that you like each other?
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Wed Feb 06, 2019 4:02 am

This is all a post-mortem since it has been quite some time, so I try to be accurate and yep you got the facts right. Also girl was facilitating isolation since she sent her girlfriend away with an errant which should have taken 1 minute but took her 30 minutes, obviously an excuse to be alone.

I was starting to use my magic by getting her to move, get her to make us some tea and start drinking together which she nervously complied to and I would try to squeeze within a couple of minutes qualifying her fast and getting her number. But before she was properly seated next to me the other customer came in and the setup was ruined.

And yeah I am pretty sure she knew I was interested but it also was obvious she was confused when I pulled back my interest, despite weeks of stagnation. I was sure myself that she liked me until the rejections and flip flopping. Then I moved on had a new girl and then she got pissed for an entire year. Still throwing hints via a friend or mine. She quit her job around that time and I highly suspect I was a factor within that decision. But hey, I really tried. So why blame me at all?

I don't want to zoom too much into it, just want to understand what I get into. Why ever blame me, if you put up crazy walls and make it impossible to get with you somewhere. Such a big waste of time. And unfortunately I had this pattern happening with a couple of my a-types.
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby fog » Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:06 pm

DarkKnight wrote:Also girl was facilitating isolation since she sent her girlfriend away with an errant which should have taken 1 minute but took her 30 minutes, obviously an excuse to be alone.


Here, she invests in you quite a considerable amount. Putting effort forward to getting you guys alone together? Thats huge! Did you reward her for it?

DarkKnight wrote:I was starting to use my magic by getting her to move, get her to make us some tea and start drinking together which she nervously complied to


Here she complies with you....did you reward her for it?
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:05 pm

I was about to reward her, but then the other customer came in and the girl immediately FROZE (feeling caught I guess) and at that point I lost every opportunity. It was a hell of a wild card for the situation. Afterwards like I described in the OP, I didn't really get a chance and despite persisting was thrown under the bus hard. When I moved on she became really chasey but I just couldn't trust her at that point.

But I feel like we are really going too much into detail at this point. I just want to figure out why these both girls rejected me, or stalled, despite seeming really interested and when I moved on they became seriously pissed at me. Because both did really dumb things which wrecked the courtship. Why autoreject, when you are the one who is making it impossible to get with you. Maybe I am asking for the impossible here.
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby fog » Fri Feb 08, 2019 8:32 pm

DarkKnight wrote:I was about to reward her, but then the other customer came in and the girl immediately FROZE (feeling caught I guess) and at that point I lost every opportunity.


k so....when she sent her friend away, and started making tea....she was expecting something to happen

but nothing happened.

logically, a customer showed up. emotionally, you moved too slow.

no wonder she got cranky
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:46 am

That's not it man. You know just forget about it, thanks for the effort. I just gotta figure it out on my own, maybe with some more experience.
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby fog » Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:55 am

DarkKnight wrote:That's not it man. You know just forget about it, thanks for the effort.


k i will forget about it and dedicate the extra mental resources to discovering why so many scam artists are princes from nigeria
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Re: Girls who reject you: then go into autorejection themselves

Postby DarkKnight » Sat Feb 09, 2019 10:05 am

Hey man, no sense in being sarcastic. Your analysis just didn't fit in how it went or how I think it went. I wrote before I didn't have a proper timeframe to escalate. Barely any. Maybe my writing skills really suck, but I also conclude that we are zooming WAY too much into something else instead of what I wrote in the OP.
Again, I appreciate the effort and want no sour feelings.
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