The social project



The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Sep 23, 2018 4:12 am

So, after being in a few social circles, I noticed that, people had roles.
Basically, if I fulfill a role in a social circle, and that role is missing, that is my value in the social circles.

But there are good roles, and bad roles.
Good:
- Leader
- Enforcer
- Connector

Fair:
- Support
- Clown
- Model example

Bad:
- Black sheep

What bugs me is that, I have never been in a “good” role. It’s generally difficult to change roles. Thus the best way, is to start going to many social circles, until I can be in a good roles.

Thus the plan is to start having experimental social circles. The goal is to fit in a “good” role.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Sep 24, 2018 9:18 pm

Meanwhile ...

For cold approaching, let's make it so easy.
I only approach girls that I think is green light. And even then, for every 10 girls, I allow myself to pussy out 9 times.

With that, I made the first approach.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sat Oct 06, 2018 12:25 am

Green or green-yellow is fine.
Neutral yellow or red-yellow is still too risky for me at the moment.

My biggest weakness is that I’m neurotic. As long as I don’t let it get the better of me, I’m fine.
My biggest strength is that I’m conscientious.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:46 pm

Sometimes ago, I worked out on a treadmill across a girl. A guy went to workout on that treadmill, next to her. She opened him.

Since then, I always worked out next to a girl.

And today, when I was waiting for the bus, the girl next to me said “Hi.” Quite a hot girl. She spoke in low tone though.
Miracle happens, guys.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:27 am

I don’t know what I’m doing you guys.

So 3 weeks ago, I was closing to finish my first project at the new job. I thought after the project is over, I will start the social project.

And then I started making a video game.
So last week, I thought when the game was over, I will go hard on the social life.

And then I had another crisis at my job. Which obviously I have to fix as #1 priority.

Now I thought about it. How come I have time to make a video game? Job is #1. Social should be #2.
Meaning every moment that I’m free from my job I should have done something about my social life.

After this is over, which is at most 2 weeks, Then i’ll start the social life for real.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:25 am

Don't want any delay. But I live in a small town, so pickup game is out of the question here.

However, 3 hours from my town there is a beach city. So I travel there on Sunday (and possibly next Sundays) to do pickup.
I approached 2 girls. The second one was a purple hair chick on the bus. I sat next to her, not opening because there was no sign. After a while she just sighed, but I didn't let the negativity compelled me to approach.

Then a band played on the bus. This was the opportunity so I tapped the chick and we started chatting. My wit didn't go away even after months of not approaching. She laughed a lot.

Well my philosophy now was that sex was king. Everything before it didn't matter, so I asked a bit about her boyfriend to lift the formula. So her boyfriend was into camping.

So camping will be my pastime you guys.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Tue Nov 06, 2018 4:09 am

My social life just changed overnight.

I read this post: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19477#p96450
I applied all 3 and my social life changed immediately.

My coworkers responded to me better.
My family responded to me better.

It was so simple.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Wed Nov 07, 2018 1:28 am

At the gym, the chick next to me glanced, so I tapped her. She was on the headphone, took a long ass time to pull it out, then looked at me.

It was an orange light. Nothing I can do about it you guys.

Rule #1 was not to be a social drag, so I just casually asked how to turned off the TV. She didn’t respond, so I turned back. Neediness was a social drag.

Then the guy next to me told me about it. I pressed the button. Nothing happened, I made some joke and the girl laughed.

That was all I can do. Cheer the girl up. Then be positive and meet more women.

I focused on my treadmill. Then the next 20 minutes the girl constantly glanced at me.

I thought she was fat. But rule #3 was that beggar can’t be chooser. I had nothing you guys. Then I thought I had to be on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I wasn’t the one making the rule, though.

As an aside, if you spent more than 20 minutes, the fat will start burning.

So I re-engaged, and this girl was rude again.
Nothing I can do about it you guys. So I bid her a good day and move on.

It’s Tony rules: Be positive and meet more women.

Pickup game in a small town is not a thing. Indirect, speaker-center opener (credited to Alex), and very interested women can make my days here.

Though, social proof and social circle game is the bread and butter.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:37 pm

Today I went out hiking.

I read the next post from Chase.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=19477#p96543

What will kill my appeal?
It’s preaching you guys. So from now on no preaching, only taking action.

So the hiking group was 3 guys 6 girls. It was so low skill. I was even more low skill so I started with the very basic: Not to be a drag. It was time to put the hours in and learned social circle.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:35 am

#2 group: Doctors & professors.

2 hours from my town, but it was completely worth it. I learned a lot of new stuff.
Also from this week, I could assess how many hours I can put in the social area.
This week, 5 hours of active learning. So in the first year, I'd have got 250 hours. Let's settle for that for now.

First 100 hours I'd be passive. The aim were:
- Being accept as "one of them"
- Calibration. Did I talk too little or too much? Eye contact too little or too much? With whom? Remembering names, etc.
- Observation.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:31 am

Today I went through the usual “what do I want?” stuff.

I did it in private. When we are going through the “what do I want?” question, either we go public with a big bucket list. Or we go private, because we think we would be more honest with ourselves.

Turn out mine was pretty usual:
#1 want: Accomplishment
#1 hate: Disrespect

Though if I want to accomplish anything worthwhile, the disrespect will come pretty often.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:28 pm

Sunday, going to the beach city as usual.

On the way, I made the Uber driver felt good and spread the positivity.

A group of 4 girls. High energy and positivity made them receptive to me however I ejected too soon.

Then another relatively hot girl. I lasted a minute.

Okay, next girl I swore to myself I would last as long as possible.

In the Starbucks, I sat in the corner.

Then a girl came sit in my area.
I thought she probably was having a depression attack, because otherwise she would sit in the center.
Then she moved to the seat across me.
Okay. Probably she was meeting someone else, because otherwise she would go next to me.
And then she brought the laptop’s plug to the outlet on my table.
It was so obvious now. I opened.
She was a tourist from Boston, coming here to make a film. I joked, “You come here for beautiful men like me.”
She laughed.

I wasn’t too familiar with the film stuff. I lasted 2 minutes.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:59 am

I rarely read lay reports. That was odd.

My lifetime lay count was 1. You would expect someone like this to regularly read lay reports, to see if there was some patterns, that he can apply to his seduction life.

Turn out I had massive cognitive dissonance just from reading lay report alone. Thus from now on I'll add lay reports into my diet as well.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:42 am

Something will come up this Sunday. So I did the pickup on Friday night in a city.

This week I ramped up the social circle. Going to a salsa group and a meditation group.
Learning a lot. I concluded that social circle was like eating vegetables. Not exciting, but good for you.

Anyway, back to the pickup. I used to believe that no good interaction ever come after the 10th approach. Tonight I proved it wrong. My best approach was at 12th.

It was a girl looking at me. I lightly smiled, she lightly smile.
Ideal situation.
I persisted lots. Holding hand for a long time. So the initial attraction was there.
Having 2 nails color. Working at a yogurt shop.
She showed me a pumpkin cinnamon lotion, her favorite. A cool girl.
We talked lots. 40 minutes. The connection was there.

The good news was that my fundamentals weren’t half bad. The girl was relative hot.

Capitalizing on it was another matter. They were rare. That was why I went for lower quality girls, to gain the experience for that very moment.

Anyway, what I focused on that night was state. I found that the most dangerous state was tilting. When I tilted, I made all kind of bad decisions. I told myself that if I tilted, I would call it a night.

The most helpful state was a mix of free flowing, decision making, socializing, learning. Alek called it “momentum”.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:48 am

2 hours socializing this week, and I learnt a couple of lessons:
- Treating girls as people, not just sex object
- 3 main aims when interacting with girls: 1) Make her feel good, 2) Dominating her, 3) Persist

Tonight I went out and applied the lessons. I met a fantastic girl. Having a small heart tattoo on her face.
I started out with extending my hands, and asked for her name. We had a bit of similarity here.

She worked at a nailed store nearby. Asking me if I lived with my uncle here or a hotel. I said a hotel.
Lover treatment came quick. She was receptive to touch.

She shared a lot. Deep stuff. I said I was a taxi driver in my country. She said she never drive. Because she was hit by a car when she was small.
So I stopped the taxi driver story (calibration) and changed topic. In cold approach, course correcting should happen very often.

Then family. Turned out both her parents left her when she was small, and she was adopted. I wondered why she shared all that stuffs to a stranger. Probably she was sincere.

I more or less got her background. Relating to those are difficult, but she taught me how. She asked for my birthday, and then she told me she knew a friend who had a close birthday to mine. So basically if I didn't have that background myself, I have to know a friend who has that background.

She talked with someone on the phone. I was waiting. Persistent.
Walking with her until the train. She didn't want me to get on the train with her. I persisted once, but she looked uncomfortable, so I ejected.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:38 am

Sunday, sitting at the coffee shop and working.

A girl came next to me.
Me (tapping): Hey
Girl looked at me.
Me: You're the kind of person bringing coffee to the coffee shop.
Girl: Saying again?
Me: What's your name?

Lots of course correcting. The advantage about cold approach was that you can course correct as much as you like, whereas in social circle you cannot do that too often.

I forgot her name, so later on I asked again. Her name was Victoria. So I commented:
Victoria as in Victoria Secret?

She responded well. This girl was very receptive to tease and bantering, so I gave that to her a lot.

Chatting a bit, then I grabbed her number.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:26 am

Today I had an epiphany: Seduction (and social) is not a logical skill, but a psychological skill.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:17 am

Friday, I came to a language meetup.

My clothes were full red for the sex appeal.
Coming in, I found some guys in the peripheral, and I engaged them.
Then the social butterfly girl coming in, and started introducing me around.

Then a group of 2 girls 1 guy. I came in, shaking hands.
Then the guy just moved away to another group. What was the psychology here?
I stayed with the girls group the rest of the night.

I thought I was here for the learning. That was the logical reason. But I kept the psychology going on.
Then the black girl offered to trade number. I was a bit clumsy there, so i missed that chance.
Soon the blonde started touching me. I noticed that I was uncomfortable. So it was my psychology there, not hers.

I ended up getting the social media of the black girl.
Not great, but I was improving in social circle.
Definitely going to follow up. For the psychology.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:40 am

Sunday, I went to the beach city.

This time I went by car.
I'm the safest driver in the world. Because if I ever go down financially, the car insurance will be my rent.

I walked along the beach, there were 2 girls facing away from the beach. Like this:
Code: Select all
Street |    Look this way <- 2 girls              Me              | Ocean
                                        v Walking this way v   

I walked past them so they saw me first. Then after awhile I went back:
Code: Select all
                                                            ^ Walking this way ^
Street |                     2 girls -> Look this way              Me              | Ocean   


I opened direct. The girl responded well so I sat next to them.
The girl was a tourist from Las Vegas. The other girl was a local. Chatting with them for a while, and it turned out I wasn't similar to them.
The girl was originally from a small town, but moving to Vegas for college.
Me: What do you do in your free time?
Her: Smoking
Me: What do you smoke?
Her: Weed?

and I knew the similarity was fucked. I was clueless.
That is what social circle game is for.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Tue Dec 04, 2018 2:49 am

Goal: 3 female friends
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Dec 09, 2018 6:46 am

Night game, first time.

I checked the reviews, and a night club has a lot of positive reviews. Girls like social proof. A review said, “I feel like a queen”
If I was a hot girl, I’d go to this club.

It was a correct choice. The club had a lot of hot girls. I forgot to check their website, so I showed up there at 11, and the cover charge was $160.

I came home. That was Friday night.

On Saturday, I showed up at 8 to beat the cover charge. Successful.
The bouncer was friendly. Because it was early and I was the only one in line. He said, “You came here by yourself?” I said: “Yeah, I’m cool,” and he laughed.
I remembered Alek’s quote:
A true pro always come early.


Should I buy a drink? According to Alek, yes, so I bought one Pitbull. I approached a few girls, they were fairly warm.

The most difficult thing? Stay until 2 am, if I was NOT drunk, that is. And the club was quite a challenge for the positivity.

At 12 I kissed a girl on the dance floor ... on the cheek.

I tried the smoking area trick, but it was a sausage fest in there. Apparently that trick was overused.

At 1:50, another kiss.
Not too shabby for a beginner.
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Re: The social project

Postby Alek Rolstad » Wed Dec 12, 2018 10:50 am

Did you really pay 160 USD to get into a club? That's a shitlot of money!

Usually the bigger venues tend to request a higher cover charge. Same with clubs that have tons of famous DJ's.

Remember this: Famous DJ's can be a lot of fun if you actually LIKE or CARE about the DJ. If you just want to meet hot girls, it doesn't matter, so dodge those clubs with famous DJ's if you want to save money as they are not always the best places to meet girls.

What you want is a DJ who can make the crowd move - an unknown DJ who knows what he is doing. My experience tells me that DJ's who are young kids are the worst, whereas older guys (can even be up to his 50's) are deadly. They just know their shit and like EVERY job, experience matters. A good DJ can affect the whole mood in a venue.

Also small venues can be good too. Small venues are usually easier to deal with. Maybe something worth checking out.

Good job coming early. The bouncer probably liked you. My advice is that oyu should keep going back and always behave... and always be cool to the bouncers. Once you get a bouncer on your side, you are fucking in. They are the key people. But be careful and not force conversation. They have a stressful job so don't force conversations as that will piss them off. Have a casual quick chat here and there and just be normal and nice. Do that 3 times and you suddently becomes one of the "regulars". This guarrantee you access and you may skip cover charges or even get a VIP card.

Remember that good clubs requires more to get into. Some high end venues requires you to pay a lot to get into. In my book, those are NOT the best. The best ones are those that are not necessarily expensive per.se. but picky in the door. Yes you may get picked out occasionally. Do not take this personally. It happens. But these clubs usually have the coolest and hottest girls.

To get in, you HAVE TO dress crazy cool, come in with a laid back attitude. Also ignore the bouncers until they talk to you. Lean into a wall, talk to some chicks, but do not engage the promoter or the bouncer until they engage you. If they ask you if you are on the guestlist, always say YES. They will look you up and find out you are not there. Once they point it out, act all shocked. You will most likely get in eventually (you may still have to pay). In fact, if the picker/promoter/bouncer tells you that you are not on the list say something like that: "really, that's weird. Well it is what it is I won't argue. Let us make it simple for all of us, and I will pay this time, no problem man - I just really a drink right now!"

There you go :)
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Dec 16, 2018 6:48 am

Alek, thank you for your advice.

I didn’t paid $160, instead I dodged that night. For the first 50 people it would be $20, so I simply showed up early the next day.

I used Friday night to explored different venues to find small venues and picky venues. I didn’t care too much about the DJ, mostly for the hot girls. I’ll reserve the guest list tech for the next high end club I found

On Saturday night I went back there. Still be cool with the bouncer. I planned to build nightlife equity to I treated the staff well.

Last week, I did make the mistake of forcing conversations to the staff inside the club, not this time. This week I had a headache, so I didn’t go to the dance floor, instead I tried the posting strategy. Basically leaning in various places, laid back attitude, and having a good time.

To my pleasant surprise, there were girls coming near the places I stood. This strategy was as good as going around approaching. I tried posting at different places, and opening girls when they come there.

At 11, I hooked with a pair of girls, but so I ejected and planned to engage them later. This was the critical mistake, because as I observed later they went to the dance floor, getting disappointed, stayed until 2. This pair was looking for a man. At that time I was in a group, and the group was all facing away from me, approaching that pair was no longer possible.

At 1 there was a girl coming near my post. She was compliant right from the get go. I didn’t kiss and didn’t dance, relying solely on verbal game and touching game.
After knowing where we lived, I proposed we go to my place. She said yes. I didn’t pull her out. Chatting a little bit, later I ejected and when I come back, she already auto-rejected.

Should have persist 20 times :)
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:55 am

There is one more thing I should do.

Martial art.

This was pretty proven. This noon when I had lunch with the guys, it turned out one of the guy had a friend with benefits AND a girlfriend. I asked myself, "what did this guy do that I didn't?"
- This guy is taller than me one inch. That is an advantage, but nothing too much
- This guy has the same job as me
- This guy has the same race as me
- This guy has slightly more muscle than me
- I was slightly more social adroit than him
- I dressed somewhat better than him
- This guy do martial art. I didn't.

Martial art is the answer.
I planned this 2 months ago, but procrastinating. So from this week, 5 hours a week on martial art.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sun Dec 23, 2018 7:39 pm

I just started boxing, and from the first class it was clear that my body wasn't in condition for boxing. So I'm doing boxing condition exercise every morning.

Day game:
I learned from the club, there are 2 strategy: moving or posting.
Moving I can discover girls, but I can do that once, at most twice, before that turned into “circling” and the negative social proof follows.
Thus I think moving is only viable on the street. Any indoor venue, I have to post.

Today I tried various posting place in the airport. The best place was the smoking area. Just going to the smoking area, sitting down the bench, and waiting for a girl to sit down next to me.
She was ok looking. I chatted with her for a while.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:06 pm

Respect the game:

This was on middle of a date.
She was riding the motorbike. I was behind.

I did not make any move. Despite I was touching her heavily before we got on the bike.

Because that’s unfair. She cannot resist because there will be an accident.

I play fair. I escalated when we were walking on the street. She can resist. Both of us can play the game fair and square.

We got off the bike. Fast forward, I kissed her on the cheek.
Then we walked under a green tree.
And I kissed her.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:13 am

I thought to myself, how can I improve my lay count? Probably I should specialize in venues. So I decide to specialize in those:
- Bookstore: Meeting intellectual girls, and I can work in the bookstore at the same time.
- Beaches: Meeting girls in bikini.
- Tourist attractions: Girls are travelling, ideal for a discreet hookup.
For social circle:
- Tennis: I signed up for a tennis class in the local college. To get fit and meet college girls at the same time.

My insight this week:
- Bookstore: It's a small venue. Mostly I went indirect. I chatted with the staff and bought coffee to build a relationship. It would work like a social circle. Got 1 number.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Fri Feb 01, 2019 2:44 am

At the bookstore, when I was working, I saw a mother/daughter pair. I approached them, and it went well. The mother helped me with the conversation. I got the number and the girl texted back.

Today was the first day at the tennis class. The class got cancel, but there were 2 girls there. I chatted with them. Since my aim was to break the comfort zone, I erred on the side of overstaying my welcome rather than ejecting. Got a number.

Maybe pairs are easier than lone girls. Because with pairs, the girl can see me chilling with her friend. Initially she will think, "my friend like this guy so this guy is okay."
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:52 am

Dance in the elevator:
When I went to the gym. a girl came up behind me and said something. I chatted with her.
At some point:
Me: Any plan tonight?
Her: I want to dance
Me: Let's dance
Her: Which nightclub are you going to?
Me: Not tonight

We walked in the elevator. I said: Let's dance now.

She put her bag down and we danced in the elevator.
Had I done it again, I'd amplify sexual tension and go for a teasing kiss.

The elevator opened. A guy was looking at us. We came out, I invited her to a bite after workout but she didn't bite.
We parted way.
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Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Mon Mar 11, 2019 2:47 am

Recently I have some minor breakthroughs:
- Consistent sign of interests: In January, when I walked through a mall, and I saw zero sign, I knew it must be fashion. So February I made an overhaul in my clothes. From March every time I went out there were signs.
- Consistent hook: At least in the last 3 days. On Friday when I was out for lunch, I saw a dude with light blue sunglasses, and a girl looked long and hard at him. So I got a sunglasses, and I got at least a girl hooked in the conversation in every outing.
- I was more cool in my life's primary social circles. The breakthrough is in mindset. Chase has an article about "why pickup artists are uncool." My realization is that it's possible to be uncool and getting girls, or be cool and not getting girls, or both. Thus coolness and getting girls are somewhat separated, and I must work on both separately.

Work-in-progress:
- I started singing at the beginning of March. The first time I heard my own voice, I winced. I practiced pronunciation and singing every day. I expected by April or May my voice would be good enough, and radio voice in 1 year.
- Regular night game: On Fridays and Saturdays
- Discovering new venues: I resolved to discover 30 new venues this month.
- Discovering new social circles: I mostly went to others' circles. I plan to host my own.
- Female friend: I chatted with my neighbor a few times. It turned out, one day I cooked, went out and forgot the key. I went to my neighbor and she helped me get in. I concluded that girls make good friends.

Ideas:
- Boxing: I went 3 times and I was out of shape. I planned to resume if I have time
- Losing weight: I wore XS size jeans, but recently some days I had a hard time fit into it. Thus this is sign that I should lose weight.
readjusting


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 6:30 am

Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:43 am

Recently I thought, how can I add “social value” to social circles.

That value comes from cold approach. Now, they don’t know that I pick up girls. Because they don’t do it, thus pickup is unrelatable to them.

If I strip out the pickup though, it turns out I have a lot of cool stories to share. For example:
- Vegas story: I found a guy on Craigslist who want to get to Vegas but he didn’t have a car. So I drove and he paid for gas.
The people in my circle thought I had some balls to go with some strangers on Craigslist. To this day that story still circulates in my circle.
- Drunk people in public: A drunk couple went on me on daytime, and I befriended them.

At least in this stage, the value of social circle was that it made me cooler. I think girls treat me well because they sense that I’m cool and legitimately have something to offer.
readjusting


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 6:30 am

Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:57 am

March summary
- Go out everyday (not missing a single day). Average 2 approaches each day. Results: 1 instant date, 1 kiss
- Voice training everyday (I missed 2-3 days). What’s amazing was that, by the end of the month, my voice completely transformed.

I read a quote on the Internet:
“Little hinges swing big doors”
Meaning a small action each day can have a good impact.

For example I went out everyday. I told myself “just go out, 5 minutes is ok, you don’t even need to approach if you don’t want to”.

And a mere 10 minutes each day on voice training made my voice much deeper in just a month.

Idea for April:
- Each night before sleeping, do push-ups. A mere 5 minutes training each day can improve my physical by the considerable amount.
readjusting


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 6:30 am

Re: The social project

Postby readjusting » Tue May 14, 2019 7:42 pm

Being smooth:
I just read back the “being smooth” article, and I realized:
If I’m not smooth in my home and my work, there is no way I’m going to be smooth outside.

Thus this is what I’m working on.
readjusting


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 6:30 am


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