IMPORTANT: Go Help Out Regal Tiger If You Can (FRA)

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,484
Excellent news, RT. Sounds like her case is on some shaky legs.

I guess the optimal outcome is if your lawyer manages to get the case dismissed. Or the accuser realizes her case is about to fall apart and backs out.

Do keep us apprised...

Chase
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Chase said:
Excellent news, RT. Sounds like her case is on some shaky legs.

I guess the optimal outcome is if your lawyer manages to get the case dismissed. Or the accuser realizes her case is about to fall apart and backs out.

Do keep us apprised...

Chase


Thanks! Though at this point I highly doubt the case will be dismissed, unfortunately. And even if she did want to back out at this point it's not in her hands. It's in the hands of this dude named Dan Patterson

January 8th is the trial date and November 7th is the.... well frankly I dunno what the fuck that date is for but it apparently requires my appearance.

Warms my heart to know that they want to see my morning face so much. It must be love if they want to see me early in the morning

In not totally unrelated news I saw this meme that said: Have a crush? Sue them! That way they'll be forced to dress nice when they come see you. Let the law be your wingman
It seemed somewhat relevant lol
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Hey everyone that's still keeping up with my story!

I got to court a few days before the trial and we got pushed back to April 30th. So I'm still living a very frugal lifestyle, no new girls but I am still seeing the one from last August. Thanks to her I had a recent personal breakthrough, so I'm happy about that.

No new news about the actual trial though. I'll make sure to come back with news!

Other than the money and no new girls stuff I'm doing surprisingly well. Just nothing new to report other than that
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Not guilty in rape

Guilty in Sodomy. 2nd degree Sodomy a class C felony

Thank you everyone for your support but it looks like I’m done
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
No. How is that possible..

Sodomy as in:
Sodomy in the Second Degree Defined As:

Deviate sexual intercourse by someone 18 or older with someone younger than 14;
or
Deviate sexual intercourse with someone who is mentally incapacitated

Was she pleading mentally incapacitated?

Man I hate to hear you missed out, last we talked your lawyer made it seem that the evidence was minimal and not in her favor, sounds like the courts were wanting to get you on something if that's the case.

Keep your head up pimp.

-Rob
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Mr.Rob said:
No. How is that possible..

Sodomy as in:
Sodomy in the Second Degree Defined As:

Deviate sexual intercourse by someone 18 or older with someone younger than 14;
or
Deviate sexual intercourse with someone who is mentally incapacitated

Was she pleading mentally incapacitated?

Man I hate to hear you missed out, last we talked your lawyer made it seem that the evidence was minimal and not in her favor, sounds like the courts were wanting to get you on something if that's the case.

Keep your head up pimp.

-Rob

Deviant sodomy. Basically forced oral sex followed seconds later with consensual sex is now a thing in this fuckin inbred state of mine.... fuck I hate America

Truly underestimated how fucktarded people are. Should have done a judge trial. Apparently the judge and staff were rooting for me

Have to talk to a probation office tomorrow for the possibility of probation. And then actual sentencing by the judge (opted for judge sentencing which apparently was the right call) in July. Guess I’m technically still on bond right now
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,484
Eh man, sorry to hear about this, RT. Setbacks suck.

What'd you do instead of a judge trial - was it a jury trial instead? I'd expect juries to be more easily swayed by a crying female than a judge, who's seen it a million times and just wants to know the facts, yeah.

If it's probation, sounds like fair chance you are not going to prison. Or if you are, should be a minimal term. That's the most important thing right now: not going into the slammer, or going for as little time as possible.

Once that's past, then it becomes "Can I appeal and get this overturned?" then, beyond that, "Can I countersue for damages?" But right now it's just stay out of jail / keep jail time to a minimum.

You'll be fine. Just keep your focus on where you want to be a year out from now and you'll be fine. "This too will pass."

Also, if you do get any jail time, give The Count of Monte Cristo a watch. Might give you some ideas about how to productively use that time (the "study and practice" part, not the "spend 7 years digging a tunnel to escape" part).

==

The SUCKIEST part about this, by the way, assuming you feel the same way about legal judgments like this that I have when I've dealt with legal judgments (none as bad as yours... mine have been for fighting or drinking, neither of which I do any longer), is that helpless feeling that some powerful force outside your control has made a judgment against you in all violation of the facts and there is nothing you can do about it.

It sucks, it really does. It's one of the crummiest feelings you can get -- injustice. It's a real kick in the nuts.

All you can do is suck up whatever bullshit you need to deal with for now. Then figure out how you will restructure your life to avoid similar situations in the future. There are a variety of ways to do that -- become more powerful, learn the system better, escape the system (for another system, of course -- preferably one friendlier to you), find ways to insulate yourself from overreach of the system, etc.

It sucks, but injustice at the hands of some faceless system is often the first step in becoming a more personally powerful man. It makes you realize you cannot float passively through life and hope the powerful will take care of you. It is "become powerful... or stay vulnerable."

Chase
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
I did a jury trial. She didn’t cry and her story was literally unbelievable.

I was trying to become a powerful man and escape this dumbass shstem via flag theory.

Now I’m not sure what’s going to happen
 

Sandman

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
359
It sucks man! Agreed with Chase, your life is far from over,. What matters now is looking forward to the day of your release armed with extensive skills which will benefit the rest of your life.

Also, fuck that bitch. Hope she gets her comeuppance.
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
I got a pretty raw deal in childhood that’s only gotten progressively worse as I’ve gotten older. For the first two decades of my life I wasn’t really alive. My heart was still beating and I was still breathing but I wasn’t truly alive.

I made a promise to myself that as long as I sill have my freedom of tomorrow then I wouldn’t check out. And I haven’t yet. I promised I would experience the pain and let it wash over me. But as long as there was tomorrow I could keep moving forward.

What scares me the most isn’t prison itself.

It’s not the fact that I’m now a felon and marked with something that might not ever wash away.

It’s not even the pain I now feel.

It’s that hellish existence that I went through for the first two decades of my life. I fought tooth and nail to improve and clawed my way forward however I could. But I’m not going to go back to that disgusting existence. As long as I can move forward then I can keep going. But prison is the antithesis of everything that I am. I told myself that as long as I had just a few things then I could take anything. I made this promise back when I graduated high school. I was still in pain and didn’t know what to do or how to do it. But I had my freedom to move forward. It took some time to figure out a path but I did it.

There were more painful hardships along the way than I had experienced prior. There were times I wanted to check out, I want to check out now. I’m tired of things that are outside of my control constantly inflicting this pain I feel. That I don’t have control over my life. And in a lot of ways I don’t. But I keep going back to that promise I made to myself. As long as I have it I have proven that I can keep going, and will continue to do so.

But I also promised myself that if that promise was taken away from me then I was allowed to give myself the release that I have so desperately wanted for so long. I just want the pain to end. But that’s not how life works which is why I made that promise.

So nothing’s going to happen for a while, at least. And chances look good that I will keep my freedom to improve and be better. That I’ll keep the hope of a better tomorrow. Even though I’m emotional right now I still have that. That means that I can and will keep going. At least for now

I did want to say that i appreciate all of the help and support from everyone. I’ll stick around for now. And we’ll see what happens on July 13th

But I also hope that this can teach you guys a few things. That the system is not on your side. That you have to do a better job than I did at covering yourself.

My life itself has never meant much to me. It’s a sense of fun, and freedom to experience what this world has to offer me that has always appealed to me. In some ways I’m quite the hedonist. I don’t believe in some grand afterlife and neither do I believe that things happen for a reason. I don’t believe in some overarching purpose.

I believe that life is the greatest accident to ever happen to everyone. And I believe in cultivating a personal mission for yourself to keep the life in your body. Mine has always been the freedom to keep moving forward.

Not sure why I feel compelled to write all of this down. But these are the things that are going through my head right now. Like what someone said on here that helped him, you can’t end your life until you experience this in life, or that in life. Mine is similar but never ending. That gave me a sense of peace because it shackled me from ending my life in all but the most extreme of circumstances. But without it I can give myself permission to finally let go. Something that I’ve wanted for a very long time. Something that could be experienced in life or death

Death has never scared me. It’s being trapped in a body that might as well be dead. That’s always been my greatest fear in life. Because I’ve already lived through it before

And buy a fucking tape recorder lol
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
Reading this thread and the lay report, I am almost forced to ask and think about what goes through the mind of such a woman who would do this to a man.

I mean from what was described, it isn't like he bragged about smashing her or anyone outside of him and her knew about it. She was in no danger of having her reputation ruined by sleeping with him but then she does this. He isn't even a millionaire with an empire, he is just some guy trying to make it in life and be a somebody but she comes along and tries to ruin his life.

Like what in the world goes on in the mind of such a woman and what would someone like her have gone through to be this sociopathic?
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Regal,

A tad long but a few thoughts come to mind.

Regal Tiger said:
I fought tooth and nail to improve and clawed my way forward however I could. But I’m not going to go back to that disgusting existence. As long as I can move forward then I can keep going. But prison is the antithesis of everything that I am.

I can relate to this. You hack your way to a more successful position in life and kiss dark times goodbye only to be dealt an extremely unfair hand out of the blue, and you think to yourself "why couldn't it have at least been some schmuck that was already and always going to be a loser that this happen to, why take away all my potential?". Then you see the archetype of that schmuck making the least amount of their existence and wasting it when you know if you only had the freedom they have you could do something 10X for yourself and the world.

Shit man there was a time when most of my days were spent bed/house ridden with chronic fatigue syndrome and like 6 doctors in a row told me that I'd have the disease for life. I remember thinking how easily I would've traded places for a 5 year prison term if that meant at the end of that 5 year stint I could be fully healthy and energetic to do basic life activities again. Now I've since been very fortunate to have made progress on my illness and defied what conventional doctors thought would be possible for me but that's despite the point.

I definitely had some thoughts of ending it all during that time. You spend day, after day, after day, after day laying on your back staring up at the ceiling, watching the same TV, eating the same food, and doing the exact same routine and 6 doctors tell you to get used to it because this is how its going to be forever, you wonder what the point of taking up space and contributing a carbon footprint just to be a burden on other people.

Then another part of me thinks:
Well if I take myself out now its guaranteed that I'll be dead for an eternity. On the other hand if I stick around the worse I'll live is another 70 years if I'm really unlucky. 70 years in the course of eternity is but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things and if I check out I know for sure nothings going to happen. On the other hand if I stick around, ride out the storm, and work hard towards something worth living for then maybe something cool worth sticking around for can happen.

Shoot man unless you have just a super long prison stint at least you know your guaranteed your freedom back once you serve your term, you don't even have to wait 70 years you only have to do 2 or 5 or something small. That's a pretty sweet guarantee that not everyone who has their freedoms taken away can say hey it will all be over in X time period and all I have to do is wait and then I'm guaranteed to resume as normal.

Lastly having known you on the boards for a better part of year at this point and PM'ed extensively I personally think the world could use more people like you. Your the type of guy that can take command of his life and really bring a lot of value into the world. You gave me HUGE amounts of free help with online dating and even wrote a book and gave it out for free, is that not a microcosm for the potential you could really bring to the world table if you had more time/skill/network under your belt? SMH at all the people that spent that same time you spent smoking weed, watching porn, and cleaning the Cheeto dust off their dick because they were too lazy to wash their hands before wacking off.

Na man I know you have some mental struggles to overcome but the world needs more solid guys that actually bring value into mankinds existence. I vote stick around, do your stint, move the fuck out of America, and go move to a tropical island and build a life, do something to push mankind forward in some small (or big) way, pass on your seed so generations to come can feel your wrath and legacy, and when your finally get to taste your freedom again its going to feel like bliss brotha.

Keep it pimpin' G
-Rob
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Sorry it takes me so long to get back to people, I'm still away from my laptop and sometimes I just don't feel like going through my phone.

I'm getting closer to my baseline. Not quite as emotional about it, though I still have plenty of moments.

PeachFrustration said:
Reading this thread and the lay report, I am almost forced to ask and think about what goes through the mind of such a woman who would do this to a man.

I mean from what was described, it isn't like he bragged about smashing her or anyone outside of him and her knew about it. She was in no danger of having her reputation ruined by sleeping with him but then she does this. He isn't even a millionaire with an empire, he is just some guy trying to make it in life and be a somebody but she comes along and tries to ruin his life.

Like what in the world goes on in the mind of such a woman and what would someone like her have gone through to be this sociopathic?

Such is the sexual marketplace of rebounds. My guess is that she got tired of being pumped and dumped and I was the lucky winner of her anger. Not my fault that she's only rebound quality....


Mr.Rob said:
Regal,

A tad long but a few thoughts come to mind.

That's what she said ;)

I can relate to this. You hack your way to a more successful position in life and kiss dark times goodbye only to be dealt an extremely unfair hand out of the blue, and you think to yourself "why couldn't it have at least been some schmuck that was already and always going to be a loser that this happen to, why take away all my potential?". Then you see the archetype of that schmuck making the least amount of their existence and wasting it when you know if you only had the freedom they have you could do something 10X for yourself and the world.

Yea that's a great way to verbalize what I feel. When growing up there were quite a few that were on the outskirts of the family or even married into/friends of the family that truly believed that I never had a chance in life. And now this. From that point of view it sounds like you can really relate to it.

Maybe that's the curse of people who dream to reach above their birth though? I've always taken some comfort in the quote: the most massive characters in history are seared with scars. At this point I've taken some pride in it even. Though I'm not sure that's healthy....


Shit man there was a time when most of my days were spent bed/house ridden with chronic fatigue syndrome and like 6 doctors in a row told me that I'd have the disease for life. I remember thinking how easily I would've traded places for a 5 year prison term if that meant at the end of that 5 year stint I could be fully healthy and energetic to do basic life activities again. Now I've since been very fortunate to have made progress on my illness and defied what conventional doctors thought would be possible for me but that's despite the point.

That's awesome to hear! It feels good just to read other success stories right now to distract me from the doom and gloom. So I hope you keep at it.

I definitely had some thoughts of ending it all during that time. You spend day, after day, after day, after day laying on your back staring up at the ceiling, watching the same TV, eating the same food, and doing the exact same routine and 6 doctors tell you to get used to it because this is how its going to be forever, you wonder what the point of taking up space and contributing a carbon footprint just to be a burden on other people.

It would be rough, definitely doesn't sound like an easy thing to endure. Because of this you may be able to empathize a little with my favorite blogger; Jon Morrow. https://www.copyblogger.com/fight-for-your-ideas/


Then another part of me thinks:
Well if I take myself out now its guaranteed that I'll be dead for an eternity. On the other hand if I stick around the worse I'll live is another 70 years if I'm really unlucky. 70 years in the course of eternity is but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things and if I check out I know for sure nothings going to happen. On the other hand if I stick around, ride out the storm, and work hard towards something worth living for then maybe something cool worth sticking around for can happen.

Shoot man unless you have just a super long prison stint at least you know your guaranteed your freedom back once you serve your term, you don't even have to wait 70 years you only have to do 2 or 5 or something small. That's a pretty sweet guarantee that not everyone who has their freedoms taken away can say hey it will all be over in X time period and all I have to do is wait and then I'm guaranteed to resume as normal.

Not something I honestly want to do. I'm still playing catch-up right now. Another year or two on this path and I calculated I would have either broken even with everyone else at worse or managed to start passing them at best. And I honestly just can't get over the thought of going back to being trapped. It's a weakness on my part, but not something that I think I could get over right now. I'm just not sure that I could do it and neither am I sure that I even want to try.

That's a fear that I think that you can identify with, from your short summary above. While our reasons are very different, I think that our thoughts are similar on our situations. I don't know how long you've been 'free' but I've only been 'free' from what felt like 2014 to 2016 when this happened. Then I felt a little handicapped but could deal with it. Even probation is something that I could deal with, with lots of swearing lol.

But to completely lose even some semblance of my freedom for even a year is not something I believe I could cope with. I don't think I would have lasted an additional week when I was arrested last year. The only thing that I could think of each and every day was what was the fastest way to escape?

I know that I have been blessed in a lot of ways. I'm a big guy with broad shoulders, and athletic body that responds insanely well to just about anything physical and an adept mind to match. I learn and pick up on things very easily and it takes something as complex as this, or even psychology as a whole to keep me interested for long. While I'm not the smartest guy around, obviously, I do have advantages that many others don't. But I do not have a very high tolerance of pain in any degree.

My tolerance to pain is quite laughable, really. The same is true of boredom. I've worked on both and have gotten better, but they're still not all that great.

I don't have many fears in life, but this is one that has always crippled me that nobody else around me understands. Go talk to a girl and speak your mind? Was able to do that before all of this, just didn't have any leading or closing ability or any real abilities at all. Do something stupidly embarrassing? Sounds entertaining. Move somewhere new with little thought about it other than you don't like where you're currently at? Sounds like an adventure. Ask people for business favors when you're absolutely brand new? How else are you supposed to get by in life? Go for the sale? If they say no then they're clearly stupid but what if they say yes? I know a lot of those are social fears that others have already conquered on here and that they're nothing special, but I always found stuff like that fun even as a teen. I even loved public speaking and getting up in front of people to perform. It was my chance to shine.

So I'm not saying all of that to sound cool, only that these are fears that I'm sure other people are struggling with even now. And others on here have struggled with. But it wasn't done in even a year for them, even people like Chase.

My fears have circled around being trapped and unable to do anything. Of not having anything new for my mind to feed on, or my body to do something that helps me feel alive. I've already been there and it was hell and I'm scared to go back. That's what I struggle with. It's something that I have worked on, but haven't made much progress on.

I'm not going to prison.

Chances look good for me avoiding prison, but I wouldn't last even a year. In the week that I was in solitary confinement it felt like everything inside me was eating itself, and the week long cross-country extradition wasn't much better. I would rather die than go back to that.

Lastly having known you on the boards for a better part of year at this point and PM'ed extensively I personally think the world could use more people like you. Your the type of guy that can take command of his life and really bring a lot of value into the world. You gave me HUGE amounts of free help with online dating and even wrote a book and gave it out for free, is that not a microcosm for the potential you could really bring to the world table if you had more time/skill/network under your belt? SMH at all the people that spent that same time you spent smoking weed, watching porn, and cleaning the Cheeto dust off their dick because they were too lazy to wash their hands before wacking off.

I appreciate the kind words, and I hope to get the chance to do them justice.

Na man I know you have some mental struggles to overcome but the world needs more solid guys that actually bring value into mankinds existence. I vote stick around, do your stint, move the fuck out of America, and go move to a tropical island and build a life, do something to push mankind forward in some small (or big) way, pass on your seed so generations to come can feel your wrath and legacy, and when your finally get to taste your freedom again its going to feel like bliss brotha.

Keep it pimpin' G
-Rob

Let's hope that my world keeps spinning! But I'm not going to prison.
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
3,225
Maybe that's the curse of people who dream to reach above their birth though? I've always taken some comfort in the quote: the most massive characters in history are seared with scars.

That part of the post cut really really really deep into me.

Grew up somewhat poor and made my way out of poverty to a good lifestyle. Already I had to face people who grew up around me hating me because of it while also dealing with the scarring trauma of having missed out on the shit that the rich kids got to do growing up and in college. It is like the world works to keep you where you are and hates others rising.

The same liberals and angry poor who whine about the rich would rather shake hands with old money that has been there for generations than make friends with new money that crawled out of poverty. I think it is a given that you will accumulate a lot of enemies as you progress from poor to rich and have to come to qualms with the amount of shit you missed out on.
 

Cacc

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 4, 2017
Messages
353
You'll get through this RT. Wish you the best of luck.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Regal Tiger said:
I've always taken some comfort in the quote: the most massive characters in history are seared with scars. At this point I've taken some pride in it even. Though I'm not sure that's healthy....

Yeah I like that mentality for when you do have to go through some rough patches.

Regal Tiger said:
Not something I honestly want to do. I'm still playing catch-up right now. Another year or two on this path and I calculated I would have either broken even with everyone else at worse or managed to start passing them at best. And I honestly just can't get over the thought of going back to being trapped. It's a weakness on my part, but not something that I think I could get over right now. I'm just not sure that I could do it and neither am I sure that I even want to try.

I think were different in that your time orientation is more present based whereas I'm more future oriented in my time orientation. If I see a potential for a brighter future, even if that brighter future is many moons away, I can hang on and ride out whatever pain and bad emotions that I have to endure to get to that brighter future. My life has been ultra boring/repetitive/depressing on a day to day basis but I've made a habit everyday of daydreaming and envisioning the awesome future I'm going to create once all this is over and it gives me something to hang on for.

I'm always thinking and dreaming about the bright future that is going to be mine soon enough and all I have to do is be patient, make the most of what I have in front of me, and do what I can now with the limited resources I currently have to make that future vision of me 5-10 years in the future come to reality.

I think with you your more present oriented and you experience pain, bad emotions, or boredom and all you want to do is escape rather than just accept the reality of what currently is your current life situation and not resist what is happening.

I grew up surfing my whole life and a lot of people come visit my hometown to vacation and go swimming when the surf is rough, and there's always a number of vacationers who get caught in rip currents swimming and drown on their family vacations. There's also a number of people who get caught in rip currents and live to tell the story. The people are equal in their swimming skills and staying above water, the only differentiation between a drowner and a survivor is their ability to go with the flow and not resist the rip current. People start getting sucked out to sea and the people on the beach get smaller and smaller and the water gets darker and deeper, and there's potentially more sea creatures that far out (though the chances of getting messed with is nil, but vacationers don't realize it) and as they get sucked out further and further it FEELS like they have no control and they might just get sucked out forever and so they panic and fight with all they have to overcome the current, lose all their breath and energy and drown.

The survivors on the other hand feel they're getting sucked out faster than they can swim and just accept they can't fight the current, they trust in their ability to keep their head above water and wait until it passes. If you could somehow develop some eastern philosophy meditation skills you might could transcend your situation and not be so attached to a brief bad outcome.

Regal Tiger said:
I'm not going to prison.

Well if your so dead set then why not concoct a plan to stow yourself away in a container ship and start a new identity in remote country somewhere. Dunno how possible that actually is but it'd be worth a shot. I'm pretty sure there are countries that protect against extradition.

Anyway man still pulling for you on this one. I still don't agree with your stance on not pulling through the pain of adversity and think its a short term perspective but I see where your coming from in your thinking. Nonetheless you seem to know yourself and what you want and don't want pretty well. I just think if worse came to worse your plan is a waste of some really amazing potential for the world for a short term perceived gain. Praying that you get the sentencing you can handle (probation).

Keep us posted as usual boss man.

-Rob
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Mr.Rob said:
Yeah I like that mentality for when you do have to go through some rough patches.



I think were different in that your time orientation is more present based whereas I'm more future oriented in my time orientation. If I see a potential for a brighter future, even if that brighter future is many moons away, I can hang on and ride out whatever pain and bad emotions that I have to endure to get to that brighter future. My life has been ultra boring/repetitive/depressing on a day to day basis but I've made a habit everyday of daydreaming and envisioning the awesome future I'm going to create once all this is over and it gives me something to hang on for.

That's a part of it, yes. But the other part is that the future is never guaranteed. Plus, the minimum of 1-2 years (different sources have different minimums but the maximum is 7) is not an insignificant amount of time, especially for someone in their prime.

I'm always thinking and dreaming about the bright future that is going to be mine soon enough and all I have to do is be patient, make the most of what I have in front of me, and do what I can now with the limited resources I currently have to make that future vision of me 5-10 years in the future come to reality.

And that's awesome you have that motivation.

I think with you your more present oriented and you experience pain, bad emotions, or boredom and all you want to do is escape rather than just accept the reality of what currently is your current life situation and not resist what is happening.

I'm fine with accepting my current predicaments but there comes a point where enough is enough lol.

I grew up surfing my whole life and a lot of people come visit my hometown to vacation and go swimming when the surf is rough, and there's always a number of vacationers who get caught in rip currents swimming and drown on their family vacations. There's also a number of people who get caught in rip currents and live to tell the story. The people are equal in their swimming skills and staying above water, the only differentiation between a drowner and a survivor is their ability to go with the flow and not resist the rip current. People start getting sucked out to sea and the people on the beach get smaller and smaller and the water gets darker and deeper, and there's potentially more sea creatures that far out (though the chances of getting messed with is nil, but vacationers don't realize it) and as they get sucked out further and further it FEELS like they have no control and they might just get sucked out forever and so they panic and fight with all they have to overcome the current, lose all their breath and energy and drown.

The survivors on the other hand feel they're getting sucked out faster than they can swim and just accept they can't fight the current, they trust in their ability to keep their head above water and wait until it passes. If you could somehow develop some eastern philosophy meditation skills you might could transcend your situation and not be so attached to a brief bad outcome.

Again, I don't view 1-2 years as a brief amount of time. I've only got about 14 years left to do everything that I want to do and experience the vast majority of things that I want to experience (physically, because after a while your body just can't do as much anymore). 1/14 = 7% which is nearly a tenth of the time I have left. Then you have to factor in the catch-up time just because of that lost amount of time and the additional hindrances because of the mark I'll soon have.

At least with the mark only I am still in a position to not lose out on much time.

I know it's a weird and dark position to have, and I don't expect most people to understand it but this is something that I've felt for a very long time. Death is only painful for the living anyways :p

Regal Tiger said:
I'm not going to prison.

Well if your so dead set
Haha I see what you did there ;)
then why not concoct a plan to stow yourself away in a container ship and start a new identity in remote country somewhere. Dunno how possible that actually is but it'd be worth a shot. I'm pretty sure there are countries that protect against extradition.

I'm pretty sure I have a really great chance for probation only, which is just a huge annoyance rather than something big like prison. Plus, I just don't have the funds to do something like that, sadly. And two months probably isn't enough time to learn how to successfully pull something like that off.

Believe me, I've thought about something like that over the past few days as well. The risk is too great compared to what I believe will be the outcome. Though I was pretty damn certain of the not guilty outcomes as well and we see how well that turned out...

Anyway man still pulling for you on this one. I still don't agree with your stance on not pulling through the pain of adversity and think its a short term perspective but I see where your coming from in your thinking. Nonetheless you seem to know yourself and what you want and don't want pretty well. I just think if worse came to worse your plan is a waste of some really amazing potential for the world for a short term perceived gain. Praying that you get the sentencing you can handle (probation).

Thanks! I think my chances look good for it, and with probation more than likely I'll get a light probation sentence. With a light probation sentence + getting transferred I'm assuming most people that hate me will say I fell through the cracks. I'd be okay with that.

Keep us posted as usual boss man.

-Rob

Will do chief

Well, unless I get arrested inside the court house. Guess I wouldn't be able to then lol
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,484
You know, you make it past the suicidal times, and you get some real super powers with life other people do not have. Most people haven't stared death in the face. It's too scary. It gives you a noticeable edge.

It also helps you to appreciate all the things you get in life as well. You get to look at all the cool things you accomplish after and say "I wasn't supposed to get this. I wasn't supposed to enjoy that. Ha! Imagine if I knew I'd get to live life like this, back when I was in the deeps back then. I would've told you 'Bullshit!' if you tried to tell me that."

To get there though, you've got to go through some absolute dreck first. The real drag-you-through-the-mud, every-day-is-misery, for-years crap. It feels like the other people who don't go through it are lucky while you're in it. But after you've gone through it, you discover those other people are never as satisfied with their lives as you are. And those other people end up in all kinds of dunderheaded life situations again and again, because they lack the kind of perspective a man only gains after time in the gallows.

I'd encourage you to stick on, regardless what you get. In the fog of despair, years can seem like centuries, and your prime years always feel like they're in the past, or slipping away as you speak.

Once you're clear of the fog though, that's when your prime years begin.

Sometimes it takes a while though. For me, the fog set in at 14. It wasn't gone until I was almost 24. Until then, almost every day felt like a personal hell.

Life's been pretty cool since. Every day I am glad I stuck around. And when I think about 14 y/o me taking life's off-ramp, I am always hit with a range of emotions... from sympathy toward that poor kid, to anger toward him for the ruinous effect he'd have had upon his family (and his mother in particular, who I'm guessing may well have suicided herself had he done that), to mystification at all the crazy things he's done with his life since he'd never have done, to sadness about the various things he's created that would never have existed.

All in all, I feel indescribably fortunate to have made it out of those years. Not that I found a way out - I was always going to find a way out, though I didn't realize it then - but that I didn't do anything irreversible before I was able to find that way out.

I would suggest that you, no matter the circumstances, focus on sticking it out until you can solve the despair thing. There is a whole 'nother world on the other side of it - but it's hidden from you so long as you're inside the fog.

Chase
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
Chase said:
You know, you make it past the suicidal times, and you get some real super powers with life other people do not have. Most people haven't stared death in the face. It's too scary. It gives you a noticeable edge.

Wholeheartedly agree! It definitely puts something different inside of you that wouldn't otherwise be there. Though in my case I'm not entirely for sure that thing is entirely healthy...

It also helps you to appreciate all the things you get in life as well. You get to look at all the cool things you accomplish after and say "I wasn't supposed to get this. I wasn't supposed to enjoy that. Ha! Imagine if I knew I'd get to live life like this, back when I was in the deeps back then. I would've told you 'Bullshit!' if you tried to tell me that."

I've never felt like this... though I don't feel like I've accomplished much in life either. We'll have to see and until then I'll take your word for it :p

To get there though, you've got to go through some absolute dreck first. The real drag-you-through-the-mud, every-day-is-misery, for-years crap. It feels like the other people who don't go through it are lucky while you're in it. But after you've gone through it, you discover those other people are never as satisfied with their lives as you are. And those other people end up in all kinds of dunderheaded life situations again and again, because they lack the kind of perspective a man only gains after time in the gallows.

I'd encourage you to stick on, regardless what you get. In the fog of despair, years can seem like centuries, and your prime years always feel like they're in the past, or slipping away as you speak.

Once you're clear of the fog though, that's when your prime years begin.

Sometimes it takes a while though. For me, the fog set in at 14. It wasn't gone until I was almost 24. Until then, almost every day felt like a personal hell.

I can relate to that. Mine started around the age of 8 or so, that was the first time I'd ever attempted suicide. The fog lifted a great deal around the age of 21-22 or so. Though it can be argued that I'm not really out of it yet, or found myself in a new fog.

Life's been pretty cool since. Every day I am glad I stuck around. And when I think about 14 y/o me taking life's off-ramp, I am always hit with a range of emotions... from sympathy toward that poor kid, to anger toward him for the ruinous effect he'd have had upon his family (and his mother in particular, who I'm guessing may well have suicided herself had he done that), to mystification at all the crazy things he's done with his life since he'd never have done, to sadness about the various things he's created that would never have existed.

I wish I could relate to that but I never have. When I think back to my early years I don't feel anything. Most of my memories from that time are gone, I don't remember a lot from back then either. I remember writing everything down back in 2013, a life story of sorts. It made me feel a lot better. I do remember it took me a few hours to get it all down. But ever since then the memories have faded and I don't feel much about it anymore either way.

All in all, I feel indescribably fortunate to have made it out of those years. Not that I found a way out - I was always going to find a way out, though I didn't realize it then - but that I didn't do anything irreversible before I was able to find that way out.

I know a lot of us are glad that ya did, I've commented on it a few times and I'm sure that others feel the same :)

I would suggest that you, no matter the circumstances, focus on sticking it out until you can solve the despair thing. There is a whole 'nother world on the other side of it - but it's hidden from you so long as you're inside the fog.

Chase

Guess we'll find out soon if I do or not. The good news is, is that I don't believe that I'll have to come to that choice. I think chances look pretty good that I'll get probation. And with a transfer to TN from MO it's likely that TN will drop it. That is, assuming of course a few things that I think are safe to assume. That I'll be on the low level offender list and that they let me transfer in the first place.

I've already begun thinking about what I'll do once on probation. There are things that I can fill my time with in regards to that, especially if it's short like others believe it will be.

In the long run I think I'll be okay, but who knows. I've been wrong about this bullshit before lol

--------------------

Thoughts/Updates:

On a side note; I've been looking at appeals and how they work. Talking to lawyer on Monday since he's asked for a few days before speaking to anyone. There is a chance for a successful appeal, depending on interpretation of my thoughts that I'll run by my lawyer and my cousins lawyer friend. We'll see what happens there.

But if the conviction is successfully set aside, I highly doubt that the state would even bother re-trying the case since they would only be able to retry the sodomy and not the actual rape. And if they did retry it I still believe in a different outcome since nobody even thought to really argue the sodomy. Pretty much everyone, including myself, only ever thought to argue the rape since if that went away we all naturally thought that the sodomy charge would as well.

If re-tried then this time that's all there would be to argue.

All depends on random stuff mostly outside of my control though. We'll see.
 
Top
>