Sorry it takes me so long to get back to people, I'm still away from my laptop and sometimes I just don't feel like going through my phone.
I'm getting closer to my baseline. Not quite as emotional about it, though I still have plenty of moments.
PeachFrustration said:
Reading this thread and the lay report, I am almost forced to ask and think about what goes through the mind of such a woman who would do this to a man.
I mean from what was described, it isn't like he bragged about smashing her or anyone outside of him and her knew about it. She was in no danger of having her reputation ruined by sleeping with him but then she does this. He isn't even a millionaire with an empire, he is just some guy trying to make it in life and be a somebody but she comes along and tries to ruin his life.
Like what in the world goes on in the mind of such a woman and what would someone like her have gone through to be this sociopathic?
Such is the sexual marketplace of rebounds. My guess is that she got tired of being pumped and dumped and I was the lucky winner of her anger. Not my fault that she's only rebound quality....
Mr.Rob said:
Regal,
A tad long but a few thoughts come to mind.
That's what she said
I can relate to this. You hack your way to a more successful position in life and kiss dark times goodbye only to be dealt an extremely unfair hand out of the blue, and you think to yourself "why couldn't it have at least been some schmuck that was already and always going to be a loser that this happen to, why take away all my potential?". Then you see the archetype of that schmuck making the least amount of their existence and wasting it when you know if you only had the freedom they have you could do something 10X for yourself and the world.
Yea that's a great way to verbalize what I feel. When growing up there were quite a few that were on the outskirts of the family or even married into/friends of the family that truly believed that I never had a chance in life. And now this. From that point of view it sounds like you can really relate to it.
Maybe that's the curse of people who dream to reach above their birth though? I've always taken some comfort in the quote: the most massive characters in history are seared with scars. At this point I've taken some pride in it even. Though I'm not sure that's healthy....
Shit man there was a time when most of my days were spent bed/house ridden with chronic fatigue syndrome and like 6 doctors in a row told me that I'd have the disease for life. I remember thinking how easily I would've traded places for a 5 year prison term if that meant at the end of that 5 year stint I could be fully healthy and energetic to do basic life activities again. Now I've since been very fortunate to have made progress on my illness and defied what conventional doctors thought would be possible for me but that's despite the point.
That's awesome to hear! It feels good just to read other success stories right now to distract me from the doom and gloom. So I hope you keep at it.
I definitely had some thoughts of ending it all during that time. You spend day, after day, after day, after day laying on your back staring up at the ceiling, watching the same TV, eating the same food, and doing the exact same routine and 6 doctors tell you to get used to it because this is how its going to be forever, you wonder what the point of taking up space and contributing a carbon footprint just to be a burden on other people.
It would be rough, definitely doesn't sound like an easy thing to endure. Because of this you may be able to empathize a little with my favorite blogger; Jon Morrow.
https://www.copyblogger.com/fight-for-your-ideas/
Then another part of me thinks:
Well if I take myself out now its guaranteed that I'll be dead for an eternity. On the other hand if I stick around the worse I'll live is another 70 years if I'm really unlucky. 70 years in the course of eternity is but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things and if I check out I know for sure nothings going to happen. On the other hand if I stick around, ride out the storm, and work hard towards something worth living for then maybe something cool worth sticking around for can happen.
Shoot man unless you have just a super long prison stint at least you know
your guaranteed your freedom back once you serve your term, you don't even have to wait 70 years you only have to do 2 or 5 or something small. That's a pretty sweet guarantee that not everyone who has their freedoms taken away can say hey it will all be over in X time period and all I have to do is wait and then I'm guaranteed to resume as normal.
Not something I honestly want to do. I'm still playing catch-up right now. Another year or two on this path and I calculated I would have either broken even with everyone else at worse or managed to start passing them at best. And I honestly just can't get over the thought of going back to being trapped. It's a weakness on my part, but not something that I think I could get over right now. I'm just not sure that I could do it and neither am I sure that I even want to try.
That's a fear that I think that you can identify with, from your short summary above. While our reasons are very different, I think that our thoughts are similar on our situations. I don't know how long you've been 'free' but I've only been 'free' from what felt like 2014 to 2016 when this happened. Then I felt a little handicapped but could deal with it. Even probation is something that I could deal with, with lots of swearing lol.
But to completely lose even some semblance of my freedom for even a year is not something I believe I could cope with. I don't think I would have lasted an additional week when I was arrested last year. The only thing that I could think of each and every day was what was the fastest way to escape?
I know that I have been blessed in a lot of ways. I'm a big guy with broad shoulders, and athletic body that responds insanely well to just about anything physical and an adept mind to match. I learn and pick up on things very easily and it takes something as complex as this, or even psychology as a whole to keep me interested for long. While I'm not the smartest guy around, obviously, I do have advantages that many others don't. But I do not have a very high tolerance of pain in any degree.
My tolerance to pain is quite laughable, really. The same is true of boredom. I've worked on both and have gotten better, but they're still not all that great.
I don't have many fears in life, but this is one that has always crippled me that nobody else around me understands. Go talk to a girl and speak your mind? Was able to do that before all of this, just didn't have any leading or closing ability or any real abilities at all. Do something stupidly embarrassing? Sounds entertaining. Move somewhere new with little thought about it other than you don't like where you're currently at? Sounds like an adventure. Ask people for business favors when you're absolutely brand new? How else are you supposed to get by in life? Go for the sale? If they say no then they're clearly stupid but what if they say yes? I know a lot of those are social fears that others have already conquered on here and that they're nothing special, but I always found stuff like that fun even as a teen. I even loved public speaking and getting up in front of people to perform. It was my chance to shine.
So I'm not saying all of that to sound cool, only that these are fears that I'm sure other people are struggling with even now. And others on here have struggled with. But it wasn't done in even a year for them, even people like Chase.
My fears have circled around being trapped and unable to do anything. Of not having anything new for my mind to feed on, or my body to do something that helps me feel alive. I've already been there and it was hell and I'm scared to go back. That's what I struggle with. It's something that I have worked on, but haven't made much progress on.
I'm not going to prison.
Chances look good for me avoiding prison, but I wouldn't last even a year. In the week that I was in solitary confinement it felt like everything inside me was eating itself, and the week long cross-country extradition wasn't much better. I would rather die than go back to that.
Lastly having known you on the boards for a better part of year at this point and PM'ed extensively I personally think the world could use more people like you. Your the type of guy that can take command of his life and really bring a lot of value into the world. You gave me HUGE amounts of free help with online dating and even wrote a book and gave it out for free, is that not a microcosm for the potential you could really bring to the world table if you had more time/skill/network under your belt? SMH at all the people that spent that same time you spent smoking weed, watching porn, and cleaning the Cheeto dust off their dick because they were too lazy to wash their hands before wacking off.
I appreciate the kind words, and I hope to get the chance to do them justice.
Na man I know you have some mental struggles to overcome but the world needs more solid guys that actually bring value into mankinds existence. I vote stick around, do your stint, move the fuck out of America, and go move to a tropical island and build a life, do something to push mankind forward in some small (or big) way, pass on your seed so generations to come can feel your wrath and legacy, and when your finally get to taste your freedom again its going to feel like bliss brotha.
Keep it pimpin' G
-Rob
Let's hope that my world keeps spinning! But I'm not going to prison.