- Joined
- Jan 7, 2015
- Messages
- 756
Re: a-jay's journal 2.0
ARRRH. No compliments today... I kept my spirit up during the whole outing by talking to myself and what privilege I actually had to be able to do such thing like this! I could actually make myself want it more today even though nothing happened.
And yes, "talking to myself" as in using my mouth to talk, simply to get my thoughts outside my body. If I say it in my head, I get stuck in it - that is unwanted.
The battle continues tomorrow.
I actually saw a dude approach a dolled-up girl. He came from behind her and pre-opened her with a touch to her arm when he was walking next to her. She took her headphones off to listen to what he had to say. I was glad to see this. I was happy for him to be able to do this and make it look so easy. Hope he got a number! Inspirational indeed.
I have two thoughts to share:
1. I realize that I have lived a very socially inhibited life for the most part. I was taught to be mature too soon and haven't really been a fuckhead, ever. Yes, I had my asshole phase in my best teen years where I wouldn't let anyone tame me. I'm there now in some aspects of my life, but not in this matter. Could I strip away more of my social inhibitions, I would stand a better chance of doing something like opening direct. Maybe more outings like the evening I had a couple of days ago just to do some fucked up shit. Or maybe use direct openers as the way to strip more of them away??? That was an interesting remark.
Wow. What amazing possibilities I can imagine for myself right now.
2. I have never worked this hard for my sex/love life. Can you believe that? I'm not used to being the approacher. Sometimes I wish I found more pleasure in meeting girls back in the days, but I figured the right game for me back then was to let girls come into my world and let them do the leading as well. My primary way to meet women now should be on my terms. I can meet the women I want, when I want it. And chances of any woman ever approaching me is so damn close to 0, it's not even worth it to be waiting for them.
Will these thoughts make me approach tomorrow? We'll see. But with such realizations, it's suddenly deeper than just getting girls.
ARRRH. No compliments today... I kept my spirit up during the whole outing by talking to myself and what privilege I actually had to be able to do such thing like this! I could actually make myself want it more today even though nothing happened.
And yes, "talking to myself" as in using my mouth to talk, simply to get my thoughts outside my body. If I say it in my head, I get stuck in it - that is unwanted.
The battle continues tomorrow.
I actually saw a dude approach a dolled-up girl. He came from behind her and pre-opened her with a touch to her arm when he was walking next to her. She took her headphones off to listen to what he had to say. I was glad to see this. I was happy for him to be able to do this and make it look so easy. Hope he got a number! Inspirational indeed.
I have two thoughts to share:
1. I realize that I have lived a very socially inhibited life for the most part. I was taught to be mature too soon and haven't really been a fuckhead, ever. Yes, I had my asshole phase in my best teen years where I wouldn't let anyone tame me. I'm there now in some aspects of my life, but not in this matter. Could I strip away more of my social inhibitions, I would stand a better chance of doing something like opening direct. Maybe more outings like the evening I had a couple of days ago just to do some fucked up shit. Or maybe use direct openers as the way to strip more of them away??? That was an interesting remark.
Wow. What amazing possibilities I can imagine for myself right now.
2. I have never worked this hard for my sex/love life. Can you believe that? I'm not used to being the approacher. Sometimes I wish I found more pleasure in meeting girls back in the days, but I figured the right game for me back then was to let girls come into my world and let them do the leading as well. My primary way to meet women now should be on my terms. I can meet the women I want, when I want it. And chances of any woman ever approaching me is so damn close to 0, it's not even worth it to be waiting for them.
Will these thoughts make me approach tomorrow? We'll see. But with such realizations, it's suddenly deeper than just getting girls.