Passion Lab

fog

Modern Human
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Re: backstory's frontstory

I indirectly opened this chick on the bus. In the middle of our conversation I said, "we should go for coffee sometime" and she was interested. I got her number. It was so easy. She's a 30-something year old single mother.
 

fog

Modern Human
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Re: backstory's frontstory

hi friends

endless amounts of "i have a boyfriend" right now

i reply with "are you lying" and "he doesnt have to know" kinda stuff but they hold steady with the i have a boyfriend kinda stuff

will study up on what chase and hector and people gotta say about this and employ this into my future interactions

btw hector you are so cool i really want to do coaching and stuff with you in the future but I'm poor and cant afford it lol
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I work for a retail store, but I do the work from home. Needless to say I often go to the store to hang out with my boss. They just hired this new sales associate. I chatted with her once and she seemed quite neutral towards me. I saw her again a week later and she was giving me all sorts of seductive looks. I was gonna make some plans with her and get her number but I didn't end up doing it - I got nervous and my mindsets were preventing me from accomplishing this.

Fast forward to today. I'm in the store and she's still giving me these looks. I ask her,

Backstory: Hey what's your schedule like this week?
Girl: *seems confused* 11-6 and 11-7
Backstory: for the rest of the week?
Girl: Yeah thursday and friday
Backstory: alright cool wanna get coffee? after you work till 6 tomorrow?

Then all of a sudden my boss interrupts:

Boss: Backstory shes on her lunch break right now!
Backstory: Oh yeah? *looks at girl* Wanna go right now?
Girl: Yeah.

We walk out onto the street and shes giving me the bedroom eyes.

Backstory: Where do you wanna go for food?
Girl: Idk
Backstory: Let's go to the market because I needa get some coffee

We're at the market and we're just wandering around and she doesn't even know what she wants to eat. I'm touching her a lot and she has no problem with it. Still giving me some bedroom eyes. I was qualifying her, asking her if shes a creative person or stuff. But she didn't really seem interested in hearing anything about me. We stop at this one restaurant. Somehow we end up talking about what kind of animal we would be if we were reincarnated:

Backstory: I would be a dolphin! They are so humanlike. They are smart and...*makes eye contact with girl* love sex and they are just so carefree.

I then ask her:

Backstory: When do you need to be back at work?
Girl: I don't know

I'm waiting for her to order at this restaurant but shes taking forever so I go and sit at this table nearby trying to figure out what to do now that my initial plan of getting her number and inviting her over to my place has changed... I think that maybe I could use the date compression strategy. She finally gets her food and she comes over:

Girl: It says this is for On The Rattle employees only!
Backstory: That's okay
Girl: Let's go somewhere else so we don't get in trouble
Backstory: No its cool, sit here.
Backstory: If we get in trouble I'm blaming you ;)

She sits. All of a sudden the vibe has changed. She's not really looking at me or engaging with me, not giving me the bedroom eyes. I wonder what's wrong. I think, hmmm maybe I pissed her off by making her sit here?

5 minutes later I suggest we move somewhere else. She's down. We go sit somewhere else....still the same vibe. Not really interested in me. She's eating very slowly. Then she says "OK i'm done." I look at her food and shes barely eaten anything. I start teasing her for having a small stomach but it doesn't really go anywhere. So we're just sitting around not talking and I realize she's waiting for me to make a move. I say "hey lets go for a walk."

So we go outside and then she starts giving me resistance about how she has to go back to work soon. I start walking her back towards her work and she points out a building. We are chatting about the building and she says,

Girl: I had only been in there because I had to meet my date there

I didn't react to that too much. We are walking down the street and I say goodbye. I didn't get her number or anything.

Yeah s0o0o0o as the subject topic says, I'm really kicking myself. The only thing this girl was hungry for was some cock and I DIDN'T REALIZE IT TILL AFTER. I let my boss change my initial frame, then I messed up the frame by thinking she was hungry and shit. Even if I was smart about this, the logistics were shit. My house was a 20 minute bus ride away and we were downtown, so I'd have to find some place to fuck her outside in the middle of a busy downtown area. Also, the conversation wasn't the greatest. There was no emotional connection. I am learning that there doesn't need to be an emotional connection to have sex though. People just use each other for their bodies.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Did some day game today. The first few approaches were awkward as shit and the main problem was that I didn't feel confident. My voice was sounding all weird and nervous...it made me not want to approach. I was having an internal battle with myself for at least 15 minutes. I desperately wanted to go home. But then I told myself to stop being a pussy and to push myself. So I did - I made some more approaches and my last few approaches turned into conversations and a number close. I pushed myself in other ways too. When I first went out, I pushed myself to talk to the very first chick I saw.

I had met this one girl at a party a long time ago and we were vibing but she had a boyfriend. Today I opened this random chick - it turns out it was her and she recognized me. We had a conversation, but I talked too much. I touched her a few times but she wasn't receptive to it and her body language was closed off. Regardless I number closed her for practice. She gave me her number but I doubt she's going to text me back. Towards the end of our interaction I was getting really nervous and stuff.

I opened another girl. We had a conversation...she brought it up two times how she thought it was so random and weird that I had just started talking to her. I didn't address these objections and I feel like it was a mistake. I should have presented her with a frame that A) I do it all the time and B) its not weird.

Lately I like opening indirect then asking if they are single shortly into the conversation. Lo and behold, some chicks are actually telling me that yes they are single.

Besides the sometimes awkward conversations and voice, I am doing everything well. I'm holding eye contact, qualifying, touching, and asking for compliance.

I was sitting down on a bench and there was a girl who was pulling down posters off the wall near me:

Backstory: Is it usually this hot in here?
Girl: Yeah usually. There's a cold spot further down the hall though. It's nice
Backstory: Hmmm I should be sitting over there then.
Girl: Yeah it would be a really good place to sit but there's no where to sit there.

I don't say anything. The conversation dies for a few minutes. Then she says something.... its like shes talking to herself.

Backstory: Are you talking to yourself?
Girl: Yeah....don't mind me. *She starts walking down the hall*
Backstory: I heard that smart people talk to themselves a lot.
Girl: Then I must be a genius! *Goes out of sight.*

She comes back.

Girl: I'm back! *Says something about me finding it weird that she talks to herself.*
Backstory: I don't find it weird!

Silence again for a bit. She's still doing her job.

Backstory: I have a question for you.
Girl: What's that?
Backstory: Do you ever have so much fun that you lose track of time?
Girl: No not really...I'm an organized person..I need to keep track of everything!
Backstory: Have you always been that way?
Girl: Well growing up no...
Backstory: so do you have to schedule time in to sneeze?
Girl: Haha no I don't like sneezing. I only sneeze when I get sick.
Backstory: Ohhh so there's that negative association. Well I like sneezing. It just feels soo0o0 good. I know what you mean though. I was eating an apple when i got a call that my grandma died. I don't like apples anymore.
Girl: *Starts laughing a lot* Sorry I'm not laughing at your grandma's death....this is just so random!
Backstory: *Laughs a little bit*

At this point the conversation dies and she walks away saying that her shift was almost over. Writing out the conversation I feel like she wasn't really interested. However she was smiling at me and making eye contact and re-initiated conversation after she left.

It seems that girls are finding my approach random and weird...
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Many times lately when I am in a conversation I catch myself leaning in towards the other person. I learned that this is a big no no so I stopped doing it. Girls are leaning in towards ME to talk to me now. It feels powerful.

I am talking slowly and using multiple pauses.

I am working on building intrigue. I was at this event last night, it was a concert in a pretty interesting venue. It was earlier in the night and I approached this one girl. Here's a basic rundown of the conversation from what I can remember:

Me: Hey, I have to tell you something.
Girl: What's that?
Me: Your style.... it's the second coolest style I've ever seen in my whole entire life.
Girl: *laughs* thanks!
Me: What's your name?
Girl: Carey
Me: Nice to meet you Carey.
Girl: Nice to meet you too.
Me: I see that you and your friend here are playing this game.
Girl: Yeah we're trying but it's not really working.
Me: Well we're not electricians or anything so...it's definitely a hard game to win at!
Girl: *laughs* It is tough.

At this point her friend walks away.

Me: What are you into?
Girl: Mostly nature.
Me: Oh yeah? Do you meditate?
Girl: Yes. What are you into?
Me: You know ….I like to get an adrenaline rush from going on adventures, whether it be in the mind or into nature.

All throughout this conversation she had been holding strong eye contact with me and otherwise positive body language. When I said that last line, the look on her face changed. She was looking at me like she was just so interested in me. Like she was incredibly intrigued by what I had just said. I will be on the lookout for that particular look from other girls. Unfortunately right after that line her friend came back and said "Carey let's go!" I didn't push for her to stay.

I am asking girls if they are single and saying it with authority! Here's an example of me talking to another girl last night:

Me: Hey are you from the 1980s!?
Girl: Hahaha! What?
Me: I don't know...you look like you're from the 1980s
Girl: Must be the dress...I've been getting a lot of remarks like that.

More banter ensues.

Me: Are you single?
Girl: No....
Me: Ah, yeah its cool. No big deal.
Girl: Yeah we can keep talking. It's not like we are doing anything inappropriate.
Me: It's just talking so far.
Girl: Yeah nothing bad.
Me: And even if we did do anything inappropriate, we can keep it a secret....he doesn't have to know!
Girl: *Laughs at what I'm saying, and not in a nervous way*

After this we had a deep conversation. Her boyfriend didn't seem to be there so I hung around and talked to her under the presumption she was lying. We were touching each other a lot....then further into the conversation she brought up her boyfriend again.

In other conversations with girls last night I was doing well at keeping them around initially with my banter before transitioning into deeper conversation. I will have to include banter in my day game because it is sorely lacking that right now. Now, for example...some of my conversations just did not go anywhere because I got the vibe 100% wrong. It felt like there was this huge hole in the conversation that made it go sour. I will be investigating this. I think it has something to do with warmth and creating consensus with the girl in the initial few minutes of the conversation.

I'm qualifying girls really hard lately. Some girls are actually squirming when I'm qualifying them. It's like....they know I'm qualifying them, but they are unsure if they want to qualify or not.

It's quite funny to see girls rejecting me. You know they want to leave but I am just hanging around in the conversation making them talk more and putting social pressure on them. Some girls just make up the stupidest excuses to leave.

Here's a funny moment from a conversation that I messed up and turned sour.

Girl: Okay you can leave now. Go.
Me: What... no....I was here first! (She was actually there first)
Girl: No you weren't!
**We talk for another few minutes**

I'm sure I'm forgetting to talk about some stuff but I am starting to notice some patterns and will be keeping an eye out to see what I can do with these patterns. Either way I know for a fact I am becoming a powerful high value person. Social interactions are a power dynamic and the majority of the time lately I have the power.

I loved chase's recent article "7 awesome ways to ace women's tests." I especially loved the part "putting up hoops." I started trying it out last night....I'm laughing now because I did it in a really uncalibrated way:

Girl: Hey will you take a picture of me and my friends
Backstory: I only take pictures for girls if I've already made out with them
Girl: Ohhh...I will have to find someone else then

I asked for too much compliance right away. Shoulda asked for a cheek kiss or something.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm running into this silly problem lately while day gaming which is going to be an easy fix. Sometimes the girl will ask, "what are you up to right now" or "where are you going right now?" or something along those lines and all of a sudden my mind just blanks and I have no clue what to say. Then after I stare at them blankly for a few seconds until I come up with some bullshit excuse like "oh ya I'm walking to see my friend" or something along those lines. They can probably tell I'm lying. From now on I'm just gonna have an excuse sorted out before I go out.

I had been doing street stops but now I am practising approaching women who are sitting down/stationary. It's a lot easier.

I got this one girl's number today. I am making two problems with number closing that I require fixing:

1. I am number closing in a needy way
2. I am not setting up a date before getting her number

I also got blown out pretty hard today. I opened a girl and she ignored me and then gave me dirty looks. It was the first time that sort of thing has happened and it was amusing.

I'm not experiencing much approach anxiety anymore and if I do I overcome it pretty quick. I think this is because I'm opening average looking chicks. I'm going to open hotter chicks and see how I feel about that.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Opening stationary women indirectly is darn easy and will result in a conversation most of the time for me. They're quite friendly. However it is quite the challenge for me to get into conversations with women who are on their way somewhere/in the middle of something. In these situations time is not on my side and it's near impossible to build a connection or even number close before they have to be off. From now on I will open more directly in the daytime as chase suggests when women are hurrying places.

I number closed three times today and got one number. I'm happy because I fixed my number close problems and am also number closing confidently. Feels pretty great. I wasn't planning to number close one of the girls I was talking to but I pushed myself to do it anyways. I'm gonna number close as much as I can in the coming week.

I'm injecting a lot more playfulness into my interactions with women and getting them laughing. My previous interactions were missing this.

But...I'm feeling quite frustrated. Nearly all the women I'm approaching are ones that are most definitely not my type. I'm not even attracted to them. I'm only opening them for the practice. Even if I do get their number, I couldn't care less about going on a date with them. I might have to go on dates with these women just for the practice though. I don't know where I can find the artistic women I dream of in my city. I think I will have to go to museums and other artistic places.

When I do see women who I am in the slightest attracted to though (which is even less than occasionally) all of a sudden I get approach anxiety and I'm stopping and thinking about what to say and miss the chance to open them. This probably has to do with the fact that I don't have abundance mentality. Once again I'm going to have to push myself.

Funny interaction from today:

backstory: are you single?
girl: you can't just ask people that!!!
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

20 approaches today and I got 3 numbers. I am learning so much!

More people than ever of both sexes are bowing their heads when I walk by them. I'm also getting "looks" from some girls.

At this point I'm well aware of what a good open looks like. I've made some uncalibrated approaches that got me blown out hard/ostracized.

I'm also starting to become aware of the type of vibe I need to portray to become more successful. For some approaches I am quite clearly putting out a nervous/weird/creepy kind of vibe and girls just don't respond to it well. But girls are digging it a fuck ton when I'm putting out a relaxed yet engaging and playful vibe! It's just hard to nail this vibe every single approach, mostly due to the fact that I'm nervous I guess...

Uncalibrated conversations are also getting me rejected...like the conversations will just be composed of awkward topics, are choppy and don't flow the best (like opening indirect, then getting really nervous when I'm about to say something more direct, lmfao) ....this is due to nervousness once again. I need to start being more conscious of my conversations so I can remember them. Maybe I'll record them. Is that bad?

It doesn't feel quite right opening a girl in a crowd of people standing around. For example I was standing at the bus stop and was getting some approach invitations from this one girl. I started thinking "oh it will probably be awkward for her to have me start talking to her in this situation where all these other people are standing around watching" and "shes got earphones in anyways." These mindsets need to change because I regret not talking to her. I'll read up on what Chase has to say about this.

Today I number closed a girl even though she said she had a boyfriend. She said no. That was a first for me (number closing a girl with a boyfriend). I'm gonna number close no matter what now.

I feel like opening a girl with "are you single" is just....i dont know....unnecessary? I think this because, well....doesn't talking to a random girl in the daytime then getting her number, just kind of slot you into the boyfriend/lover zone automatically? A nice guy would probably never ever do that...GUYS who wanna be friends with girls just don't approach them during the day. Perhaps it's only necessary if you're going for same day lays.

Sooo, I'm considering not opening with the "are you single" line anymore. But the majority of the time I am saying it in a nervous/awkward way and the improper tone of voice which turns off women immediately. Of course they'll say no. However I think I'm gonna give it a few more chances, but experimenting with vocal tone.

Dropping the "are you single" line in the middle of the conversation is working out great though. I've been thinking about switching it and saying, "you're single, right?" I can't explain why I feel like it's better but... I just think it is. I will try it out tomorrow.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Bus Girl

Today I was going to get a haircut and was walking around at my school's bus stop. I was wearing a super bright jacket. This girl sitting down made eye contact with me. She had a sparkle in her eyes - I knew she wanted to talk to me. She was also wearing some bright clothing. I continued walking partly because I'm a pussy, and partly because I wanted to find out when my bus was coming.

I see my bus start to pull into the bus terminal. I open this chick and we're just doing some basic chit chat about how we look like we came from the 90s. I then go on my bus and sit down. I see her walking onto the bus and towards my seat. We're making eye contact and she's got this apprehensive, kinda puppy dog look in her eyes. I say, "hey! yea you can sit here :)" She sits beside me.

We're talking and the conversation isn't really going anywhere...it's kind of boring to be honest, despite me finding out she does creative stuff. The conversation dies naturally and I look out the window - she starts getting really awkward and nervous...she says "i guess i need to find out what transfer I'm going to take today." in my head I'm like "you just told me you're going home - you know what transfer you're going to take, you're just spewing stuff.

AT THIS MOMENT I knew for a fact that I had to change the vibe and tone of the conversation to maintain her interest. I started being really playful and engaging with her and telling her some stories and she got that sparkle back in her eyes. And started touching her a bit.Ahh, good. Patting myself on the back for that one. I get a thought in my head...should I number close her? I do and get her number and we continue chatting. But as I get her number I say "you're single, right?" she says "yeah." It was smooth and there was way less friction than if I would have asked "are you single?"

She was maintaining strong eye contact with me. At one point I noticed our upper legs were close to each other, but not touching. I moved my upper leg so that they were touching. What do you know, a few seconds later she starts pressing her upper leg strongly into my upper leg for a few seconds.

I was asking her to show me pictures of her previous work on her cell phone. She pulls out her phone and starts showing me, which I qualify her on. Then I got off the bus but before I got off the bus I said "I'd love to see some more of your work sometime" and she says "yeah it'd be really nice to catch up!"

CATCH UP? WHAT? I JUST MET YOU.

ahhh, I'm learning to never take what women say at face value. Whatever, she wants to see me again.

I feel like she definitely wants to fuck. Actively giving me approach invitations, wanting to sit with me on the bus, the touch, the eye contact...

Work Girl

Quick update on the girl from my work. I went into the store a few times and saw her around but never really said anything to her. Today I was there. I was browsing some books near the front of the store and she comes from the back of the store towards me and I call her over and say "you're single right?" She says, "no."

1. This was likely too bold of a line to use on her considering she is so shy
2. Because she's foreign, she probably didn't understand what it meant.

After this shes standing around rearranging some clothing right next to me then walks out of the store.....on her lunch break or something. Was she hanging around on purpose? Waiting for me to ask her if she was off work or something so we could go do something? I don't know, I don't care, I'm not gonna stress myself over it, it doesn't deserve any more of my energy. On to the next one I guess.

Fundamentals and stuff

As for my fundamentals, things are going pretty well. I've always struggled with my hair and finding a good style for myself. I've actually taken pictures of all new haircuts I've gotten over the past 2-3 years. There was one picture that I thought, "yeah this style definitely looks great on me" I went and saw a hairstylist, and showed her the pictures. She said, "yes I think that this style looks the best on you" and turns out it was the same one I thought was the best. I'm gonna have my hair like this for a while and see how women react to it.

My walk is excellent, I've been practising it like mad.

As for my clothing...I always look like I came out of some crazy music video from the 90s or something...and on days where I was dressing in really bright colours, girls would be like "do you always dress like that?" I took that as a sign I need to tone it down a bit. So I have been. I'm dressing around 1 statement piece now, instead of 2-3. Even though I'm dressed less flashy, I still get the "you're stylish" compliment quite often from men and women.

Going out to do some daygame.....will report back later
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

11 approaches today, 3 numbers and 1 insta date.

10 approaches a day is a great number for me to be doing. In 10 approaches I learn a lot....after I do this many, I'm often wanting to run home to write down all my observations so I can digest everything I've learned. I really wanted to do 100 approaches next week but we'll have to see.

2 of my approaches today felt great and amazing and both girls were really having fun too.

Here's how my approaches go right now:

Approach - Banter - Deep Diving - Lull/Silence - Deep Diving - Number Close

Towards the end of the first deep diving is where girls start checking their phones and say they have to go and leave. If it's an approach where everything is going well, there is (almost) always a lull in the conversation. Conversation just naturally dies off after a bit of deep diving and theres a silence that is not awkward for me, but it's clearly awkward for the girl. There could be multiple reasons why conversation is dying off. Here's what I started doing today that is really working for me:

Approach - Banter - Deep Diving - Banter - Deep Diving - Number Close

I'm gonna talk about some specific interactions now...

Boat Lady and Backstory Go On an Insta Date

She was sitting down on the sidewalk with her guitar. She was an older lady...with completely grey hair. I open her by saying this:
“i love your style! i just had to come say hi because it’s so unique"

This girl was a complete weirdo. I loved it. She reminded me of me a few years ago. As soon as I opened her, she lit up and started getting quite excited. We chatted a little bit then I asked her to stand up. We're standing and she's saying "Let's hang out! Let's go to starbucks!" We started walking to starbucks and I said, “youre single right??” she says “yes! are you single?” This really threw me off. This was the first time a girl had asked me if I was single. I was thinking what would be the best thing to say for preselection, “yeah I just broke up with my girlfriend.” Later she wanted to know why I broke up with my girlfriend so I made up some stupid story.

We're sitting in starbucks and she tries to sit across the table from me. I say "no, you're sitting beside me." (Thanks Seppuku). She sits beside me. We're chatting some more. She's holding strong eye contact and my hand is resting on her shoulder/arm for long amounts of time. As we are chatting I notice my body language is way too open. I'm literally facing her and leaning in and she's sitting facing the table. I readjusted my body language to be more closed.

The barista puts her latte down on the counter at the front. She says to me, "can you go get my latte?" I said, "no you can go get it yourself." She goes and gets it.

I take down her landline number. Apparently she doesn't have a cell phone. She's like, "Call me in the morning or the night! And if you don't reach me, just keep calling till you do!" Internally i was laughing...then she asks me to write down my number on a piece of paper so she can call me later if she has to.

Later I realized I was doing too much deep diving because she was starting to look too serious and things were getting boring. I started freaking out internally. Whoa whoa whoa WHOA what was I doing? Alert! SOS! I immediately start bantering her to get things light hearted again. She starts smiling and getting that sparkle in her eye that she had when she first met me. Then I said, "OK, we're going back outside now." I realized she was waiting for me to lead. This chick was like putty in my hands. She was doing anything I asked her to do. I need to start taking charge on dates.

Anyways we went outside and I got her to play a song on the guitar for me. Then I said goodbye. You know, I feel like she thinks I'm her friend....

Approach Invitation At The Bus Stop

I'm sitting on the bench at the bus stop and there is this cute nerdy girl, to my left. She is giving me approach invitations like mad - you know, looking around in THAT WAY. However she looks really shy and submissive. immediately my mindsets are getting in the way:

1. She's a bookworm and I don't know how to talk to bookworms
2. The bus is coming soon, there won't be enough time to even build some comfort with her to get her number because she's so shy.
3. It's already been like 5 minutes, it's too late to approach now...it would be awkward.

UGH. I get up and go check when the bus is coming. On my way back to the bench I make eye contact with her. She looks down shyly. Then her bus comes. As she's getting onto the bus, she turns around to look at me.

This honestly could have been an easy number close if it weren't for my mindsets. It seems like lately I am getting a lot of approach invitations at bus stops/IN buses. I haven't read chases material on this yet but I'm coming up with my strategy for it to handle these mindset issues and situations.

For example, let's say me and a girl are hanging around at a bus stop and I've been around her 5 minutes. It wouldn't be very smooth to open direct, rather it makes more sense to open indirect/situational. If I open direct, it will look like I've been thinking about saying this to the girl for 5 minutes, lol.

As for the limited time at bus stops, I'm gonna start using Chase's 2 minute number close technique.

I talked to a few bookworms today...I honestly don't know how to handle it because I'm such a contrast to them. I definitely come across as more of a loud party guy especially with my clothing.

Some Other Girl

I met this girl on tinder before....we were kinda bantering, but she mostly ignored me. I'll be honest - my tinder profile sucks. It doesn't really show my face. Then she started talking to me on facebook. We scheduled a date, but she flaked. My pictures on Facebook don't really show my face either.

Then today I saw her in the hallway and opened her. She was quite clearly into me. It was a really light fun hearted conversation with a bit of deep diving. Near the start of the conversation my mind was blanking so hard, I couldn't think of anything to say! I feel like she forgave this mistake because she was into me.

I got her number and here's how the initial conversation went:

Backstory: Hi bambie :) This is backstory. save my # in your phone.
Bambie: Don't tell me what to do ;)

My last three approaches of the day were blowouts where the girls just ignored me. This was definitely in part due to my strategy. I was standing around opening chicks as they walked by. Obviously it's not gonna work, I just look like some weirdo. I'll have to try different strategies.

There's so much other stuff to talk about too but this is the important stuff I learned today.

I guess the next step is to start setting up dates. I'm interested in seeing which girls flake and which don't. I wish to find out which stage I need to get to before the girl never (or rarely flakes). For example, if I do Approach - Banter - Number close, will they always flake?
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

10 approaches today and 2 numbers.

I have completed my first 100 approaches. Here's the statistics:

Approaches: 100
Total number closes: 18*
Numbers Close Successes: 12
Number Close Failures (Had a boyfriend, not interested): 6
Insta dates: 1
Dates: 1*
Approaches that resulted in Conversations: 34
Approaches that resulted in Blow Outs: 66

*I didn't start number closing until after I had approached roughly 30 women.
*I haven't asked any of the women on dates yet, except for one today.

Can't wait to see what the next 100 approaches will be like...

More Bus Stop Stuff

I met a girl at the bus stop today, opened her indirectly. We got on the same bus and I said "sit with me?" She complied. We were sitting together and she was holding eye contact strongly with me, fluttering her eyes, trying to gauge my reactions... and she was giggling like a mad man for no reason. I assumed it was because she was attracted to me and there was a lot of sexual tension. I say to her, "Are you single?" She giggles nervously and says "no." We talk some more, I number closed her and got off the bus. I was feeling pretty cool, you know...a girl had never acted like this around me before. I was absolutely certain she was lying about being single and she just said no out of nervousness.

I texted her. Turns out she's leaving tomorrow to go out of town until the 19th. I tell her it would be cool to get to know her some more and that I'm leaving tooo. So we make plans to hang out tonight. I ask her to swing by my place so we can chat and listen to music. But she objects by saying we should go for coffee instead. At first I didn't know what to text back. Should I push for her to come over or should I just go for coffee with her, build some more comfort, then invite her back?

Well we went for tea. She would jump like she was electrocuted every time I touched her. And her body language was super closed off. It turns out shes a lesbian and she's in a relationship with a girl who lives out of town. Whaaat. Aw man she was cute. After I found out she's a lesbian and not single I just stopped touching her. After I stopped doing that she became a lot more comfortable and we had an amazing conversation and really connected.

I don't know what to think.

Lilacs in the Breeze

I was waiting to cross the street and this cute as heck asian girl with big sunglasses walks up and is waiting to cross too. She looked at me. I don't usually open asians, but I figured why the heck not. I opened with a observational opener...something like "wow it's hot out today." Our conversation turned out great, she was really playful and flirty. I said, "you're single right?" she says "yeah why are you asking?" i said, " you're just so cute and playful!" Lol...I shoulda said something better than that. She was okay with my touch and everything. Totally blanked halfway through and couldn't think of anything to say. This is happening more often than not. I need some lines to fall back on...I'll probably just start qualifying every time my mind blanks. Well finally, I remembered something to say and we continued chatting. I got her number and I'm kinda excited to see where it goes.

I was a little bit confused about eye contact though. I couldn't tell when she was looking away and when she was looking at me because of her sunglasses. I wanted to make it seem like I was holding eye contact but I also didn't want to stare at her for too long if she wasn't actually looking.

Gonna take the day off tomorrow (maybe) then gonna do a ton more approaches next week. I'm also pushing myself to schedule dates with all the women I got phone numbers from in my first 100 approaches, I'm curious to see if any of them will turn into lays. Some other things I'm doing: longer touches and being more direct
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

today: 10 approaches which resulted in 8 conversations and 4 numbers.

Looking back in my personal notes, it seems that my approaches result in conversations about 50% or less of the time. I implemented Richard's "Singular Flow" technique today. I'm quite certain this is the reason behind the high approach/conversation rate today. It could be a fluke due to other factors, but I will continue to test it out and make observations. 4 numbers was a little bit unusual too for 10 approaches. That's around twice as much as I normally get in 10 approaches.

I'm feeling quite annoyed with myself because I purposely ignored 2 very clear approach invitations today. I regret not meeting these women. It feels so bad that I'm missing opportunities. I will no longer allow myself to ignore approach invitations anymore. I always freeze up when they happen and can't think of anything to say! But that doesn't matter. In these situations I don't have to say anything crazy. Just a simple hello will do.

Old Lady Blues


HOWEVER, I did capitalize on one approach invitation. I was sitting around at school in a hallway. There is no one in the hallway except me. This older lady comes walking down the hallway slowly. Suddenly, she sighs really loud. Lmfaooo. Of course she wants to talk to me. I say "That was a loud sigh!" Her face lights up and she immediately sits with me. I didn't even have to ask. Early into the conversation she compliments me on my style. Turns out she works at the school. This was my first set of the day. I was not warmed up yet. We had a great conversation - however I did not display my intent very well besides strong eye contact. She was being all wishy washy and hinting that we should get coffee sometime. So I said, "hey lets get coffee sometime." She agreed....and gave me her BUSINESS CARD. She didn't give me her personal number.

There was also this stupid frame that was set between us where she's the mom and I'm the son - something like that. This is a problem I'm facing when I chat with older women. I will have to analyze this further to see how I can improve.

Should I even pursue this older lady? And if so, should I contact her through email or telephone? I was thinking email is way better. I will email her asking her about her schedule and then schedule something RIGHT after she gets off work.

Silly Rejection

I was inviting another women on a date, here's basically how the conversation went:

backstory: Let's go for coffee sometime, it would be cool to hear some more of your travel stories!
girl: *scrunches face in disgust* no. I'm not interested. Besides, I'm a boring girl. There's plenty of other people to tell you travel stories.

Other Observations

Things were quite off today....I was a little bit too serious and wasn't being direct enough most of the time. And when I was direct, it was a little choppy and in the middle of no where. I'm really trying to figure out how I can drop lines like, "hey btw you're pretty attractive" or "you're single, right" right in the middle of the conversation without ruining the conversational flow. Usually what's happening is we'll be talking, then I randomly go direct, then change the subject back to what we were talking about before. Honestly, I would open direct but....IDK. I feel it's a little bit too much. brb while I go argue with myself in my head about this for the rest of eternity.

I find myself reluctant to open girls in pairs. I will work on this.

Lastly, I noticed a slight pattern that I'm not sure how to fix quite yet. I'll say something in the conversation and then the girl will all of a sudden lose a tiny bit of interest - but she will still be talking to me. I think I am accidentally making cold reads on them which they REALLY don't agree with....in fact, it's almost like I'm imposing my perception onto them a little bit. This happened twice today. Both of the girls it happened with were girls that were working. But I know it's happened before with girls who weren't working. Here's an example:

Backstory: It looks like it's gonna rain.
Girl: If it rains, it rains. I don't really care.
Backstory: That's a great mindset to have.
Girl: *loses interest, vocal tone changes* yeah.

Attainability Problems

I opened a girl today and umm...well......my attainability became too low during the conversation. That's all I need to say haha
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I described meeting "Bus Stop Girl" in the friday june 2nd entry in my journal. I will call her Buffy.

Buffy came over tonight. I texted her asking her to come by my place. She showed up and we were sitting on my couch and talking. I was nervous as heck. I was trying to give myself excuses not to kiss her. In my mind I was thinking "her body language is really closed off - she doesn't want anything to do with you." But then I told myself to shut up and I kissed her neck a little bit. She says, "what was that for?" I gave her a sneaky smile and said "nothing." Later after talking some more we started making out. I was taking off her clothes but she seemed really hesitant and apprehensive and not into it.

I ate her out and fingered her but that's it. It was really boring and we just weren't clicking! She was really quiet. She was choking herself while I was messing around with her pussy. I wanna learn how to do that. I was nervous as heck too and couldn't get hard.

Later, randomly she blurted out, "I don't like when guys touch my tits too much." This surprised me because up until then she had been quieter than a koala sanctuary. I guess she wasn't into it because I was touching and sucking on her tits a lot. She seemed to like some of it....

I'm going to stop watching porn - it's getting in the way
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

After a few approaches today I realized something. I make a lot of abstract comparisons. The problem with this is that regular girls who are definitely NOT creative will have no idea what I'm saying or will automatically just think I'm weird. For example, today I approached a girl wearing a red shirt with polkadots:

backstory: hey! I love your polkadots
Polka Dot Girl: thanks! :)
backstory: it reminds me of strawberry shortcake.
Polka Dot Girl: ...

Another example was when I was on the bus and a girl and I were giggling because she had sat down on my jacket:

girl: I didn't want to sit on your jacket!
backstory: yeah, my jacket would have suffocated.
girl: ...

These are things that any creative person would totally get and laugh at. However I feel like it's too weird for your average girl. So I will stop saying these things around average girls and just be more normal.

I was chatting some more with polka dot girl and I made some sort of observation that made her lose interest:

Polka Dot Girl: I work at the research lab on campus
backstory: Ohh look we got a smarty pants over here. :)
Polka Dot Girl: Not really... *becomes more reserved*

I was TRYING to flirty and playful. I guess I should have found out more about her job before calling her smart...

Then, I asked her:

backstory: Are you a creative person?
Polka Dot Girl: No...not really....

Another mistake. Clearly if she didn't get my initial comment about strawberry shortcake, then she's obviously not creative. I shouldn't have qualified her on creativity. I should have qualified her on something else.

You know what though, sometimes I have been trying to qualify chicks on creativity when they are obviously not a creative person at all. So I'm gonna drop the creative qualifier as well, and just use it on chicks who give off more of a creative vibe.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Today I started approaching hotter girls than I normally talk to. It feels like a nice challenge - talking to average looking chicks was getting too easy and I was feeling too comfortable during my conversations with them, meaning I wasn't learning/pushing myself. I think the benefit of talking to attractive women is that I will get a great idea of how to improve my own fundamentals, especially in terms of body language/facial expressions.

Some unique situations today:

I walked up to a bus stop and got an approach invitation from this one girl as I was walking towards her, then I walked by her and was standing behind her. I was going to open her but there was this group of people standing nearly right beside her. If I had tried to reposition myself beside the girl, I would be getting in the way of the group and it'd just be a weird situation. If I opened her from the back, she was definitely gonna get startled. I was wondering...if I get an approach invitation from a girl, is she more likely to forgive me for an uncalibrated approach?

Also, I was talking to this girl who was with her friend. I tried scheduling a date with her, but she was acting wishy washy and gave me a "maybe." I got her number anyways.....when I texted her, she replied with "hellooo :)" Quite the positive reaction to me texting her. This made me think. What if she's interested, but didn't want to act too interested in me in front of her friend, so she played down her interest?

During this particular conversation, I did ask if she was single. However I realized that I did not use any compliance tests (like moving her somewhere) nor was there any touch. Even my eye contact was a little off. And something about this felt really wrong. As I look back on my first 100 approaches I can see a slight pattern. In approaches where I was verbally direct, but didn't touch the girl/do compliance tests the girl would be all flakey after getting her number. Perhaps being verbally direct while being non-verbally indirect causes the girl to think I'm creepy or something like that. This is definitely something to explore further but I will be making a greater effort to be more non-verbally direct as well as verbally direct.

I'm going to start going out in the evenings now. The daytime is too dead for my liking.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Texting Observations

It might be worthwhile to experiment with the initial text I send girls after I meet them. Right now it's:

Hey [Girl's name]. :) This is backstory. Save my # in your phone.

Replies range from no answer.....to neutral e.g. "okay", "hey".... to positive e.g. "awesome!! "hey...sure backstory!!!" "hey backstory it was really nice meeting you today!"

A day later-ish, I will text them looking to set up plans or to further solidify the plans we were making in person. Sometimes I include something conversational, sometimes I'm not conversational at all. For example:

Not conversational:

Hey. What's your schedule like over the next few days?

Conversational:

Your weekend has been good, right [Girl's name]? btw what's your schedule looking like over the next few days?

I can't find any patterns related to this yet. The type of reply to my first text does not guarantee that the girl will answer my second text a day later.

Clothing

I'm getting comments like, "you're looking really sharp and put together today" and "i love your jacket. you're cute. the whole thing (your outfit) is cute!"

Chase mentioned that when you're dressing well, people stop complimenting on one article of your clothing and just start calling you handsome/put together and stuff like that. I know I'm on the right track and I'm going to start putting a lot of effort into the subtleties of my clothing. Small things like the colour of my shoelaces can make a huge difference.

Other

I've been learning that day game is a lot about making the girl realize that you're just a normal dude.

I was thinking that I should split my daygame sessions into two halves. The first half I will talk to any and every average looking girl and really pay attention to my conversations and how girls are reacting to what I'm saying. I want to increase my social calibration. I know that in my conversations, saying 1 wrong thing/being uncalibrated can ruin things really quickly. Because I'll be talking to girls I don't plan on going on a date with, it will ruin my stats a little bit but i dont care.

The second half I will be attempting to push my boundaries. Asking for insta-dates, talking to girls who are out of my league, etc etc.

I also have to figure out how I want to portray myself to girls through conversation. Sometimes they ask about me, and I don't really know what to say. I think I will just say I make art and travel.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I was at a small bar last night and saw this girl looking at me a few times. I went over to her and started talking to her. When I opened her, her face lit up. However she lost interest within a few minutes.

I was kind of kicking myself over it earlier. I had no clue why this girl would be seem interested in talking to me initially then go into auto rejection so quickly.

But then I was thinking…and noticed a pattern. There have been a few girls now whose faces light up when I start talking to them, especially the ones giving me approach invitations. Clearly they are happy to be talking to me. BUT they go into auto rejection fast. I am almost certain its because I’m not being direct with them enough. I need to move quicker and escalate fast with these girls. I’m happy I realized the pattern and have a strategy that I can test out now. Adaptability is a huge part of seduction.

I have been making some huge strides socially just in the past 24 hours. Its insane.

I noticed that body language/behaviour in social interactions is often influenced by social pressure. For example, let’s say that you meet someone and talk to them for a minute. Then the conversation dies. Maybe one, or both of the people will start fidgeting their fingers. Or maybe one of the people will start talking to themselves as a way to deal with the perceived awkwardness. Maybe they will adjust their position or pick up their phone and pretend to start texting.

I’ve noticed that I do these things. The fidgeting, fake texting, adjusting positions…it’s mind-blowing to me how often my behaviour is influenced by social situations.

I will no longer let social pressure influence my behaviour. I have been working so hard to become a more still, calm person in general, and I will work even harder to become a still, calm person who is not influenced by social pressure.

I’ve also been ironing out some things that make me an awkward person to talk to. I’ve been telling stories in the wrong way. I also bring up more personal topics early in the conversation that should be brought up later in the conversation, and make the other person uncomfortable by doing this. I also am not relating to other people enough.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm visiting my hometown for a few days. Last night I was at a bar here. I was pretty drunk. I'm just so lost when it comes to night game, especially because I'm a quiet guy. I definitely feel like getting better at night game will help me in day game though. I really would love to go out 4 times a week to sharpen up some skills but I'm worried my body won't be able to handle it.

Regardless I was wandering around all night pushing myself to be as ridiculous and engaging as possible. I used some good techniques (especially chase framing) and made out with two girls.

The first girl had lost her friends. I started saying, "they probably are hooking up with some guys right now." She agreed with that. Then she wanted a sip of my beer. Well I wasn't gonna let her have it for free. I said "give my cheek a kiss and you can have a sip." She complied. A few minutes later we were making out.

The problem with my home town is that everyone dresses ultra conservatively. Guys wear hoodies and shorts when they go out at night. I showed up last night in a blue knit sweater with a thin faux fur jacket. Yes I realize it was a little too much for this sort of situation but I don't care man. Maybe if I was willing to be more socially calibrated and dress more for the situation then I'd have more success at night in my hometown.... My friend even said, "this shit (your clothing) doesn't fly here." Whatever though. Broads were rubbing my fur all night.

I'm getting more familiar with what to do when opening girls in pairs.

It's been a cool weekend so far. I'm going out tonight as well. I actually haven't done any day game since Thursday and it makes me sad. Can't wait to do some in my hometown today.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Things have been interesting - I am doing cold approaches in my dreams. As well sometimes in my waking life I find myself in conversation with a random girl and I don't even know how I opened her - I guess I am approaching on autopilot, lol...

I am going to be pushing myself quite hard the next few weeks to maintain some frames. For example most of the time I have a strong, slow masculine walk. However sometimes I break that frame and start walking fast and normal. There was even one incident where I walked up to a girl with a masculine walk and opened her. Later I was walking around normal and very quickly, and we saw each other again. I'm sure that I looked like a try hard poser! That cannot happen no more.

Sometimes I start talking at a fast pace. Bad bad bad. I need to hold the frame of slow talking. Once I can successfully maintain these two things I will be getting pretty close to being a sexy guy!

Later this week, I will be taking a trip out of town to a really big city to do some day game there. I want to visit other places so I can try out different sexual markets of different competitiveness and build more social calibration/reference points. I feel limited by the city I live in. I would do 100 approaches a day, every day if it was possible in my current city.

For the next little while I am going to focus on seeing exactly how much compliance I can get from girls during the day time. It is quite obvious to me that my game is lacking the use of compliance tests.

I think that I could benefit from talking and working with some clothing stylists. I feel that my fashion sense is currently the most developed out of all my fundamentals, and will likely be my first fundamental that reaches the advanced level.

Things are going really well and I am so motivated! I don't care how long it takes. I will become the man that women dream of. :)
 

fog

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Today was great because a light bulb went off in my head after an approach...

...I realized that in some interactions, it's the girl talking about herself the whole time. She never asks anything about me. Then, I ask her for a date and her number, to which she complies. Except when I'm texting her and trying to get her out on a date, this girl probably has alarm bells going off in her head and she's thinking "whaaat...wait....i don't even know anything about this guy!! meh...he's not even worth it anyway" And she flakes or doesn't reply at all. And she's thinking this and acting this way because I didn't build ANY intrigue to get her even the slightest bit interested in me. But I didn't build any intrigue because, I haven't been setting up my conversations for her to ask me any questions. I am going to implement this right away and I feel like my flakes will go down drastically.

Here's a situation that has happened to me twice (but I think it's going to happen a lot in the future maybe): I open a girl with some banter, but she doesn't quite play along with it. Then she gets this really suspicious look on her face. When I see this I quit the banter right away. Then I ask her for her name and introduce myself to her, use the singular flow technique, then tell her what I'm up to currently (doing errands etc). When I do this the suspicious look disappears. She is still hanging around but acting neutral towards me. Eventually she warms up a little bit.

Why the suspicious look? Here's what I think: When a random, slightly nervous guy approaches a girl in the daytime and starts saying ridiculous things, alarm bells go off in her head. She thinks, "What does this WEIRD guy want? Is he safe?" But by immediately doing a 180 and getting a tad bit of compliance, showing her I'm a normal guy and relating to her, it puts her mind at rest and makes her realize that I'm not a threat.

I read Chase's ebook on flirting. Ever since then, flirting has just become so easy and fun for me. :)

There's a lot of techniques I want to put into practice RIGHT NOW. But when I'm out it becomes overwhelming for me and I'm not as inefficient because I don't know what I should practice. But I have 5 techniques that I know I want to implement and spend the next month getting good at. Compliance, baiting, cementing emotions (should also help flakes), anchoring and dealing with emotional disassociation. I need to be patient and implement one at a time.

I know I had talked about accepting approach invitations no matter what. And I hate negativity in my journal posts. But I declined multiple approach invitations today from one single girl because of a unique mindset problem that's going to be an easy fix. Ahem, I was at a graduation today with my family. I was going to be leaving to go back to my hometown in about 10-15 minutes when I got the approach invitation. I got some pretty typical thoughts, like:

- My family is around, and this girl's family is around too. What will my family think and what will her family think?
- She looks like she's in high school.
- It would be a behind the back approach, thus making it uncalibrated

BUT THEN I ALSO THOUGHT:

- I could get her number, but what's the point? I'll likely never see her again. Besides, I'm leaving really soon.

Bad bad bad mindset! Later I realized that I wasn't being adaptable. If this chick is into me, and we aren't going to be ever seeing each other again, then I should try to escalate really quickly, not get her number...what was I thinking!? Oh well, now I know what my strategy is going to be next time something like this happens.
 
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