Passion Lab

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

After reading Chase's article "She Wants to Submit" I have been practicing making people submit to my frames. In other words I'm being a jerk hahah...
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I've made a few interesting observations the past few days including a change in the way I view women.

Women used to be intimidating to me, but not anymore, now I view them as....cute, silly, odd creatures who I shouldn't take too seriously.

I've been looking back on past experiences with women and really noticing my mistakes. Huge, glaring mistakes. Or, I look back on successes and I know why it was a success. I used to be such a nice guy....not anymore.

I'm getting half decent at teasing women, I think.

Before, I would look at people's noses to hold eye contact. But now I'm looking at a very specific point on their nose when I want to have even more intense eye contact. I can sense that people are a little bit uncomfortable with it. I dont know - maybe I'm straining my eyes when I do this and it looks weird? Regardless, it would be weird to have someone staring into your soul. Oh! And also, it's hard to think because I'm so focussed on the eye contact. So I really gotta scale this back. Also been trying looking in the right eye.

I was having an intense conversation with an older female customer at work today. I've seen her a few times, she's really friendly. She can't stop gushing over how cute I am and today she gave me a kiss on the cheek. She treats me like her child. Anyways, so I'm talking to her, using strong eye contact, then her husband comes up and is standing beside us. He gets into the conversation for a second, then stops while I'm talking to the girl. I totally ignore him, but he's still looking at me while I talk to the girl. They go to leave and the husband pats me on the back...twice. The look on his face...I don't know. He was either a little jealous (if thats the word) or maybe thought things were a little too intense.

The president of my college and another lady, and I were talking. I assume the president to be a high status individual. Except, during this conversation, I was not using strong eye contact. At the end of the conversation the president says, "You're a great guy to talk to." Was this a genuine comment? I feel like the conversation would have had a lot more meaning with strong eye contact. So here I'm making a note to make sure to do the best you can when talking to high status individuals.

Also, made a mistake recently. Rants asked me for change. When I said I had some, she told me she loved me and went to go get her money. She came back and told me she liked me, twice. I thought this was weird but I guess it was her way of saying thanks. Well, I could have teased her or told her she was a great person too! But I told her I hated her! And I forgot to use a teasing tone of voice. It came out wrong. I felt terrible afterwards. Why would I say this? She got really upset too......I hurt her feelings.

Something else: It's been mentioned that when you have a conversation, it's important to decide what you want out of it. I'm going to have to start doing this. I look back on conversations and realize the conversation didn't go so well when I didn't set the frame for it. Are we getting to know each other? Is this just small talk? Etc. Etc.

Also saw a guy with great posture today. It looked so good!
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I have been listening to other people's conversations. I don't know if this is true or not, but generally I feel like I am a shitty conversationalist. I have great conversations with some people, whether I'm deep diving them or just talking about random stuff. But there seems to be a gap in my conversation skills somewhere. It's frustrating.

My co worker seems to be exceptionally good at talking to people. But I just can't figure out why. My job has ended so I can no longer analyze him. It seems that he is able to relate to people really easy and asks the RIGHT questions about them.

Something happened involving him that was pissed me off. There was this chick who was setting up a powerpoint at work for an event that was happening that night. She was having a little bit of difficulty setting up the powerpoint. I teased her for it. Afterwards, she was sitting down in the restaurant and she looked at me so I went and started deep diving her. I was asking her about why she got into videography. In this conversation, I didn't talk about myself at all. Then my co-worker came up and interrupted and she turned her attention to him and then they got into a conversation. I just started staring off into the distance acting bored and eventually to go in the kitchen. What I noticed was though, while they were talking, the tone of her voice totally changed to a more seductive one. And they were sharing stories and relating. I didn't talk to the chick for the rest of the night.

Oh well. I have some good news. I'm getting good at holding eye contact for a long time. It no longer is awkward to me! My frame control is getting excellent too, although on Friday I messed up on my frame.

My roommate's drunken boyfriend took me over to the neighbours house at midnight. I was wasted too. I have never met them before, surprisingly. They were awfully cold towards me. We were standing outside their house. We weren't invited, so I guess they felt violated. Anyways, I was talking to the one girl who was sitting on the ground closest to me. I had no intention of hooking up with her. Her friends who were listening in on the conversation said, "you have no chance of getting with her." I can't remember what I said, but my response was based on the current conversation topic at that particular time. I basically took their question and reframed it so that it made it seem like I thought they were talking about the conversation topic. Anyways, a more powerful reframe would have been "No, actually it's the other way around." That would be reframing me as the prize.

My goals for this week are to reveal a little bit more about myself to people in conversations. Also, I need to be more relatable. I just want to get better at conversations in general.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I have noticed times where women are acting submissive. Next time I notice something like that I'm going to take advantage of it. :)

I'm also working on nailing this facial expression....it's a really animated cute face. Kinda stunned, without a smile.

I'm having trouble controlling my voice lately though, that's bothering me.

I was at a party last night. I wasn't feeling the greatest to be honest. I drank on friday and i'm gonna be feeling like shit for the next couple of days, probably. i gotta stop drinking. anyways.... I talked to this one guy, I always have great conversations with him. Then this girl tries getting in on the conversation. Her body language was really centred on him, but she was mostly looking at me.... I gave her some looks and started acting really flirty when the conversation turned from me and him to all three of us. I touched her a little but BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SHE WAS WITH THAT GUY, HAHAHAH. She avoided me for the rest of the night after that. She wouldn't even look at me.

I'm working on portraying a sexy vibe. It's kinda easy...kinda

My roommates friend is into me, I'll talk about that tomorrow.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Last weekend I was really mean to my body. I stayed up really late 3 nights in a row, drank energy drinks, drank alcohol, and did mushrooms. As you can imagine I am now paying for it. I feel like shit and I'm breaking out like mad! It really sucks. From now on I am going to be more healthy. Pimples and lack of sleep aren't hot. And it feels nice to feel okay.

I met this chick about a year ago, I might have mentioned her before.....I'll just call her Cee. Cee messaged me on Facebook one day saying, "Hey :) I wanna do something tonight but have no one to with :(. Saw your post though and now I'm kinda interested."

I had posted in my college's student page saying there was gonna be a party.

We made plans to go to the party. And she told me about how she had just broken up with her boyfriend a little while back. Except, in this facebook conversation, I brought up sex and talked about it in an awkward way. She got upset and called me a creep. I kinda handled it in the wrong way too, apologizing and stuff. But I told her, "hey let me know if you change your mind about going to the party"

An hour later and she messages me telling me she's changed her mind! She comes over to my house and we're chilling with my roommates. I didn't do much, as you can imagine. We get to the party and she meets some guy and goes and hooks up with him.

If this situation happened now then that guy would have been me. Anyways, after that we don't talk for a bit. We started talking again though, and we have a lot in common. She started chasing me a little. One night on Facebook she messages me while drunk, "Backstory baby can I come over tonight? I like the way you talk" I went off Facebook for a second then go back online and she says, "Oh ok... Turn me on lien fuck then leave me winding long ok." I didn't say anything to this. We stopped talking again.

Stupid mistakes. But uh, now we are volunteering at a music festival together next weekend, which will be the first time we see each other since the party a year ago. She wanted to volunteer with me. We're volunteering for four days.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Hello my dearest friends. I have had some interesting interactions with women in the last few days I am going to report on.

Went to the thrift store today and saw the same girl who I had talked about in a recent post. She seemed happy to see me.

We had a good chat and were generally just magnetized towards each other, although I felt it to be kind of awkward and I wasn't the smoothest. I wasn't really sure where she was going with the conversation at some points. My teases weren't the greatest. But she kept talking about how she wanted to see me again soon. Multiple times. I didn't say anything like, "I want to see you again soon too!" Here's a piece of our conversation:

Her: are you on our social media pages?
Me: yes.
Her: I'll have to take a look for you.

If she were to actually look for me on their pages, that would be a lot of investment on her part. But it actually seems like she's interested in talking to me outside the store. I have a feeling my attainability is a little bit low and the relationship is one sided because I haven't offered any investment. What I think I am going to do is add her on Facebook.

Anyways, if we ended up fucking, then I wouldn't be able to go back to the store if things got awkward you know?

I told her I had synesthesia before I left. All she basically knows about me is that I have an interesting style and I got synesthesia. On the way home I couldn't stop thinking about her. That felt kinda dumb, she's just some girl. I forgot about her a few hours later though.

I saw Cee tonight at the music festival. Surprizee!! She brought her mom. Her mom is from out of town and staying at her place... Her mom wasn't with us the whole time we were volunteering, we were able to get away from her.

Conversation is so easy and natural with Cee. I have never had such quality conversations before and just had them feel so natural. I don't even have to think about what I say.

I teased her really well, built a lot of rapport, and did some compliance tests. She was more than willing to do stuff like get me a bagel from the restaurant on her way to meet me at the festival. We touched each other a little bit, but her eye contact was pretty timid until the end of the night when she held eye contact some more. But she wasn't acting in a really interested way. She was acting p l a t o n i c. She did say she was pretty lonely though in general. She has no friends in the city. I feel like this could have been an escalation window. Maybe I missed one of those with the thrift store chick today too.

She brought up the uncalibrated mistake I made from when we first met. I wasn't sure how to handle it. I stayed calm and said "yeah that was two years ago" and then changed the subject. But I'm wondering if there would have been a better way to handle it.

I wasn't sure how to escalate further. I was thinking about kissing her, but I didn't want to make things awkward in case she rejected me (which is a really dumb thought to have) and didn't really know how to escalate further to fucking in public. The thing was that her mom was coming home with her at the end of the night SO I couldn't just invite her home....

Anyways I need to try to figure out what I'm gonna do tomorrow with her when we're volunteering. I'm gonna have to ramp up my sexy vibe and do further compliance tests and more escalation. Chase frames too. I just need to do more research in general.

Unfortunately my voice is sounding really nasally and stuffed for some reason and it doesn't seem very sexy to me.

And my posture needs work again. I can stand straight yes but the last little bit of it where I puff out my chest (in a sense) requires a lot of energy. Ugh.

However, lately I am doing well with my walk and holding my frames. And I'm really slowing down my movements. This is a really good thing.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Picking up where I left off with Cee. Yesterday I was with her again. We volunteered for 8 hours in the sun, it was exhausting.

My use of sarcasm when teasing her was incredibly well received by her, even more so than other forms of teasing.

I half-failed one of her tests. We were standing at a food vendor and she was getting a smoothie. She saw a guy wearing a yellow submarine costume walking past us advertising a festival dedicated to the beatles. He had pamphlets and she wanted one. She says to me, "Quick! Run and go get one!" as he was disappearing into the crowd. I didn't run, but I walked after him. After about 10 steps I realized I looked like a dog fetching a stick to her so I went back to the food vendor.

Later on, when she finally got a pamphlet, she wanted to put it in her bag because she had no where else to put it. I said no. She bugged me several more times, but I said no each time and then she gave up.

I set a frame where I was telling her I am not a committed person and move around a lot, which probably disqualified me as a long term boyfriend candidate.

I made sure to stand closer than normal to her when we were talking and stuff like that. Most of the time when we were standing, our bodies were touching each other. Also, she said something about her hands hurting and I took her finger in my hand and looked at it.

I was teasing some fat people and she was cool with that.

Nighttime rolled around she was starting to give me looks. We were selling CDs to people, and our supervisor gave us each 20 dollars in change to hold onto. I asked Cee to hold onto my change. She started giving me some resistance so I had to justify it. I started telling her, "I am a very unorganized person and will probably lose it" After I told her this she held onto it for me. I really, really should have turned this flaw or organization into a byronic flaw. Oh well.

All day she was talking about how she had an exam the next morning and she was going to have to go home and study for it right all night after she was done volunteering. A few hours before our shift ended she was complaining about how tired she was. I could have invited her back to my place although she probably would have put up some good resistance. I had to work very early the next day and was also tired so I didn't feel like having any fun. So, nothing ended up happening...

I think I did pretty good though.

What I did good overall: Compliance tests, teasing, random frames, touch, eye contact, maintaining attainability.

What I could have done better at: Sex talk, sexual frames, chase frames, more sexual touch, better tone of voice, moving way quicker, rewarding compliance.

I want to start taking dance lessons.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Expanding on my post from earlier...

I feel that the fact that I did not set a strong sexual frame with Cee hindered me from progressing anywhere with her.

There's this girl who works at the college I work at. I see her around sometimes. She is striking to me. She came into the restaurant a few times to order take out but I never said anything to her. Then, one day she was working at the same event I was working at. She opened me and said "Hey I don't think we've met - aren't you backstory?" Went something like that. Anyways, I had heard about this chick before because she was running for a position on the colleges student council. My buddy was running too. I'm in charge of a Facebook page with a lot of my college's students on it. I chose to promote my buddy's campaign, then he was saying that this girl (we'll call her Wave from now on) was upset about that, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, i can't remember.

So Wave opens me and I put some social pressure on her after she introduces herself by saying, "Hey you're the girl who was talking shit about me!" She denied talking shit about me and then asked what program I was in. I wonder if it was a good or bad thing to accuse her of talking shit.

Anyways, seen her a few times when I was working and she said hello first every time. Next time I see her I am most definitely going to build some attraction by teasing her, building intrigue, and fitting in a few compliance tests if there's time. Our encounters are pretty short.

I can see why they call it "Game." Its getting to be fun and I'm starting to treat it like a game.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Cee messaged me today saying we should hang out again soon.

does that mean she's interested in me? loool I'm kidding.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I hung out with Cee tonight at my place.

We get into my room and sit down on my couch and her body language is great.

Tried kissing her once (although I waited a tad too long to do it). I put my fingers on her chin and turned her head towards me and leaned in - but she didn't want to kiss me. She said something like, "sorry." I acted normal after that.

Tried kissing her a second time later, but she turned her head away and said, "no, no." Acted normal again. I think I know why she didn't want to kiss me though......

After this, she was talking about how she just got out of a terrible relationship. We were talking about marriage and I was talking about how I never want to get married, I just want to make music. I told her I'm not a committed person. I said, "I'm not a committed person and I'm not really interested in relationships." Once I said this, she says "Says the guy who tried me kissing me a half hour ago!" I laughed, looked at her (she looked back at me and then looked down) and we continued talking. She was trying so hard to change my frame by giving really good reasons about why I should get married or be in a relationship. Because getting married/being in a relationship means you will have someone to grow with and stuff. I didn't change my frame and she was in disbelief. She seemed so disappointed.

She views me as a boyfriend candidate because I didn't set a strong enough frame in our interactions in the first place that I'm not looking for a relationship. I thought I did. Reading Chase's articles on boyfriend material stuff gives me a deep insight into why this happened. It makes a lot of sense.

I set a frame tonight about how I think its lame when people fuck and then one of them blabs about what happened to all their friends. She seemed really intrigued by this...she was staring off into the distance in deep thought after I talk about it.

Later we were talking, and I hadn't done any further escalation in a while, Our legs were touching. I put my hand half on her leg, half on mine, like it was kind of incidental. It was just the tiniest bit of escalation, but she immediately become nervous.

Anyways, she wants to hang out again, despite the fact that I was so strong with my frame that I'm not interested in a relationship. There are two roads I can take, I guess.

She said she thinks I'm fascinating. Tomorrow I will make a detailed post about why exactly she views me as a boyfriend candidate. Although, she could probably view me as a friend...her resistance to my relationship frame makes me wonder
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I know this is not a music journal, however I want to mention that I recently made some huge improvements in my music. My drops are becoming so sickkk. :)

Besides that...I DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN. what will i ever do!! i kinda know how but I'm not the best yet. the worst thing is that i have not been myself lately. ive been acting really drab and lifeless. the most important thing is to just be myself. it makes things easier. sometimes i am afraid to show people who i really am.

I need to start taking more risks with women, I am the most timid guy....

IM COMPARING MYSELF TO PEOPLE WHO ARE REALLY GOOD.

I fucking haaaate relationships because they throw me into a pit of uncertainty and anxiety. And I am experiencing this right now because I really like Cee. I would much rather be single and not have any feelings for women. It's really impacting the way I talk to her and think about her.

Here's some goals:

Practice having a sexy vibe ALL the time.
Work on my voice (I havent been doing vocal exercises)
Be way more touchy. I want women to be nervous of me.
Boss people around using my frame
Get bitches to qualify to me cuz im so good
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm going to start being more specific in my journal posts.

On friday, Cee and I were texting. I suggested we hang out. I told her I was busy this weekend but I'd make time to fit her in. From now on, I am going to call her Summer.

Saturday morning, she texts me:

Summer: Hey good morning!
Me: SUMMAR
Summer: BECKSTORY
Me: hiiiii :)
Summer: what's good what's your day look like today :)
Summer (one hour later): I just walked to the store to thrift and it says they're open on their fb but the door is locked
Summer (another hour later): BS don't be MIA on me
Me: Come over laterrr
Summer: okok what time is later
Me: Six!
Me: do you have an android or are you one of those people who made a bad decision and bought an iphone?
Summer: iphone yo, plus apple watch, iPad, macbook pro, and a macbook air. apple thru n thru f&a<3
Me: That's some dedication you got going on for bad decisions :O. my charger broke so I'm searching for an android charger</3
Me: I'll see you at 6 though. if you're here and i'm not answering my phone just come in cuz its probably dead -.-
Summer: haha F U, maybe if you weren't so meaaaan i could lend you mine, I have a few from other things that use micro USB
Summer: Haha ok !

Later on closer to 6 I texted her with a simple compliance request:

Me: HEY can you stop at the store and get me some swedish red berries please? i neeeeed some! ill pay you back when i get here.
Summer: ya sure!

But then it was 8PM and she was not here yet...and tbh I was getting pretty tired. I was kinda annoyed she was making me wait. So I said...:

Me: Hey I'm not sure if you were planning on coming still or not but i have to run out and do some errands. Let's hang out another time.
Summer: Really I like just got ready to come!
Summer: It's like 8 on a saturday what errands can you possibly be running that you needed to cancel :/
Summer: Okay well have a good night
Me: I haven't left yet. Want to head over now?
Summer: -.- I just made other plans
Summer: We'll chill another time
Me: Alright

I could have just left it without saying alright. And I didn't actually need to do errands, although I could have because I actually need a new phone charger. I hope I didn't come across as an idiot by saying that. I have mixed feelings about cancelling. On one hand I hope it makes her realize that my time is important to me. On the other hand, I feel as though my attainability is a little bit low with her and I don't want to scare her off. I haven't invested as much as she has. She was obviously thinking about me when she texted me two times about thrift stores and going MIA after I didn't respond. There were some pretty strong emotions the last time we hung out but I didnt even get to kiss her. I don't want her to forget about the chemistry we have.

I'm wondering why she was so late in coming? Maybe she actually took forever to get ready. Or she was fucking some other guy.

I'm gonna get into contact with the thrift store lady to get my mind off summer
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

I have been paying attention to the way guys walk and comparing it to my walk. Some people walk so fucking stupid, I seen this one guy and he was literally bouncing. Some guys walk and don't even have any shoulder/upper body movement.

I would say i use the gunslinger walk and I'm getting good at it. Still practising though. I think I'm gonna have to film myself walking to get it perfect. Sometimes I am way too stiff, I have to remember to be smooth and graceful, yet still powerful. It really helps to feel like you mean business while walking.

You know that article by Hector where he says you should say random stuff like "meow"? I do that now

I told a lady she was getting old today to tease her. You know how you're not supposed to comment on a women's age? I don't give a shit.

My hair is a big problem though, lately I've been wearing a messy style but I don't feel like it's sexy quite yet. I just don't know how to improve on my hair. This is holding me back. I'm growing out the sides so I can do stuff with them.

BTW i am using an underlook a lot.

Summer and I have been texting. Turns out she's going back home for the rest of the summer next Friday. She was saying she's busy with school this week so she can't hang. I persisted and told her we could hang and gave her some reasons why, and then she changed her mind. LAST SUMMER, I got friend zoned REALLY hard by this chick who was lonely and had no friends. Summer is in the exact same boat. She has mentioned several times she is lonely lately and has no one to hang out with. I feel like I messed up and put myself in the friend zone with Summer too..she probably just wants company. Regardless, I am going to treat her like a lover when we hang out this week. Here is a some of our text conversation that involved a chase frame and sexual framing. It starts when she texts and calls me at 1:00AM, a few hours after we cancelled our plans:

Summer (1:00AM): You awake?
Summer (1:00AM): Backstory Backstory Backstory !
Me (9:35AM): haha you messaged me so late! i know you were trying to come over and take advantage of my tiredness so you could get in my pants. You animal!
Summer: No I wasn't! If I wanted that I'm sure I would've got it at the bar.

Was I too direct in this chase frame? Also, why else would she be messaging me so late...? Anyways, after this I didn't continue the frame but just switched to building rapport from the last time we hung out.

Me: this ant behaviour is perplexing me, I haven't seen animals doing something so fascinating in ages. Theres like 50 different answers online.
Summer: **sends link to website**
Me: mmm yeah
Summer: Haha what are you up to today
Me: Making sacrifices to the gods of creativity. what about you my dearest summer?
Summer: Still laying in bed....lol sacrifices?
Me: Sacrifice: something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause.
Me: I really would have thought you knew that word considering you're a genius
Summer: I do know that word lol I'm just wondering what you're sacrificing
Me: Oh
Me: It's not goats or nothing too crazy like that. Murp
Summer: Virgins
Me: Well I'm not sacrificing you so I guess not ;) not a bad guess though
Summer: Aahah but I'm not a virgin :O
Me: Hmm okay I'll keep that in mind. I feel bad for virgins who actually got sacrificed without having sex. They never got to experience the best thing ever.
Summer: Hahah I definitely don't agree sex is the best thing ever, and especially for a virgin. I'm still laying in bed I actually feel so shit right now.

Later she asks me to hang out that night but I declined. She goes on to say that she likes being with me.

Anyways, she didn't agree with my sexual frame and even changed the subject. I'm annoyed because I'm putting way too much investment into this chick and we haven't even done anything sexual. Although we've only hung out once besides volunteering at the festival.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

i hung out with summer last night. My escalation was smooth and quite natural feeling. As I think about previous escalations, I realize they were quite clunky. I have also experienced hesitation towards kissing girls at my place in the past. I think the hesitance comes from not escalating in a controlled way. How can I expect myself to kiss a girl when I haven't even built up to it with touch?

We cuddled and thats it. there's no need to rush things with her right now as long as I'm constantly moving things forward.

Snapping is a good way to get a girls attention. Sometimes I just snap my fingers a lot habitually. When I am walking behind someone and snap my fingers, they turn around more often than not. It's a great application of the law of least effort

Also, im going to start practising fractionation this week.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

Summer is just super sexually reserved. She likes to cuddle and hold hands but still won't let me kiss her! And it's making me feel stupid as shit. I feel like I am chasing her because she's holding all the power and she won't give me anything till we're in a relationship. We talked a little bit about relationships tonight. I don't know where we stand. I told her why I'm hesitant to be in a relationship.

She's going home tomorrow for a month and I'm glad because I'm done wasting time on her.

I'm gonna go and find some other super cool chicks to hang out with who are into art.

Got an amazing new shirt today from the 70s. Another few special shirts and my wardrobe will be solid.
 

fog

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Re: backstory's frontstory

looking back on my last post, i can strongly sense that i was pretty deeply frustrated. even if i didnt feel like it at the time.

Summer and I have continued talking through texting and she's already coming back for a visit next week. We made plans to hang out on Sunday. I've been using a lot of push pull. I heard once you got a chick, its good to use 80% push, and 20% pull. Most of the time lately, I will be giving her my full attention and qualify her on what she says to me. Then, once in a while, I will push by ignoring her or teasing her in such a way that it makes it seem like I don't care about her. Here's some snippets from our conversations:

Me: Hey sorry for not getting back to you
Summer: Watch my snaps but don't reply to my texts eh
Me: You make it sound like you were waiting for me to text you back :)
Summer: Well ya aha

This was after I ignored her for a day and was giving her one word answers. During this time she wouldn't stop texting me. For every text I'd send, she'd send two. If I didn't get back to her in a few hours then she'd text me again. And then when I finally got back to her, I used a chase frame. Is it necessary to use chase frames now that we know we like each other?

Here's an example of a push:

Summer: I'm in town next week, please tell me you're around :)
Me: Depends
Summer: Cmonnn I'll bring my guitar over and we'll make cool sounds
Me: Oh Shit!!! If that's the case then I'm definitely not gonna be in town. I'm going out of the country, sorry :)
Summer: Oh Ok I'll go find someone else to make cool sounds with then :'(
Me: HAHA
Summer: You're mean sometimes :(
Me: I know :) i think we can make and finish a song in the week that you're back.

She hates when I'm mean. There's three rules I've been following:

1. Never text her first
2. End conversations first
3. Let her say the last thing in conversations

How can I make her chase harder? I've been giving her a lot of attention the past few days so I think I'm going to ignore her till Sunday. Should I play these games?

Besides that, I am using ideal affirmations and doing morning journaling. The affirmations are helping a lot. I'm also feeling great lately. My motivation is back and I seem to be acting my usual weird self again.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hey Backstory,

I have just read your recent adventures with Cee / Summer and would like to share some thoughts.

It seems that very early on you didn't set the right frames in place. Maybe the fact that you guys met at a music festival (= "fun date")? Or the way you communicated with her that very first time? (I mean this year, not last year). You later on tried to disqualify yourself as a BF but a little clumsy. Franco's answer to your post on the boards was to the point I think. But hey man, we have all been through this, so it's a normal stage in the learning.

However you did many things right, too. She likes you, because she's still around and met you again. It seems you like her too very much. There's nothing wrong in being in relationships, and it's a good learning experience too. Why don't you just try it out? It doesn't have to be strictly monogamous, and you can still try to have some "side action".

There are ways of getting around the "no kiss". It's about making her horny. Touch her all around her body. I had a girl at home last thursday and I touched her waist, her belly, her legs, her tits, her ass, and it all went smoothly without me even kissing her (we couldn't go all the way because her friend was here too, LOL). You can also tease her with the kiss ( I love to do it, too), approach your lips from her, one inch, then smile and go for the neck. Another thing, when you're both isolated together, be close to her, touch, arms around her etc... then suddenly withdraw your attention. All of this creates sexual tension. If you do it right she'll be the one trying to kiss you after that.

Looking at your last post:

backstory said:
I've been using a lot of push pull. I heard once you got a chick, its good to use 80% push, and 20% pull. Most of the time lately, I will be giving her my full attention and qualify her on what she says to me. Then, once in a while, I will push by ignoring her or teasing her in such a way that it makes it seem like I don't care about her.

Very good!

Here's some snippets from our conversations:

Me: Hey sorry for not getting back to you
Summer: Watch my snaps but don't reply to my texts eh
Me: You make it sound like you were waiting for me to text you back :)
Summer: Well ya aha

This was after I ignored her for a day and was giving her one word answers. During this time she wouldn't stop texting me. For every text I'd send, she'd send two. If I didn't get back to her in a few hours then she'd text me again. And then when I finally got back to her, I used a chase frame. Is it necessary to use chase frames now that we know we like each other?

You've set her to chase you, that's good. And you're being scarce. Never stop to game her, and go on with chase frames.

There's three rules I've been following:

1. Never text her first
2. End conversations first
3. Let her say the last thing in conversations

How can I make her chase harder? I've been giving her a lot of attention the past few days so I think I'm going to ignore her till Sunday. Should I play these games?

I use the same rules. There's a delicate balance to strike, you need to give her a little of what she wants but not all the way, in order to keep her around. And yes, continue gaming her. Even after you eventually are together.

Besides that, I am using ideal affirmations and doing morning journaling. The affirmations are helping a lot. I'm also feeling great lately. My motivation is back and I seem to be acting my usual weird self again.

I really need to try affirmations. "She needs to get fucked by me" is a nice one - but this one I have already internalized, LOL.

To me you seem to have good game. What you need now is to get isolated with her again. It will be difficult I think because of precedents (one "failed escalation"), but not impossible because she's very much into you and you have good game.

OK man, persistence is the key!

Cheers,
Seppuku
 

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hi Seppuku, thanks for your advice. I appreciate it!

I am currently feeling overly attached to Summer and it's really impeding on my interactions with her. I hate it so much and it's actually driving me crazy that these feelings developed so quick. I don't think she feels the same way. In fact, I have a good feeling she thinks things are getting pretty boring - I feel that way too, things seem too platonic. I'm going to focus on making music so I can forget about her. I hope she just stops talking to me, that'd be nice.
 

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hi friends!

Next weekend I will be going back to my hometown for a visit. I know a ton of people in my hometown. It's impossible for me to go anywhere without seeing anyone I know. This will definitely work to my advantage. There's a lot of girls I know in my hometown that I havent seen in years and wouldn't mind hooking up with. The last time I saw them I was definitely just some average guy who had no clue what he was doing. But now I'm a little more confident and could pull some shit off.

I have a pretty big friend list on Facebook too, about 4000 people. So in anticipation of going home, I've been messaging some girls to make plans. One girl is biting pretty hard. Her and I have a little bit of a history. About 5 years ago, we made out at a party, kinda had a thing for a bit, but it died. We kept in touch. The last time I was in my hometown (just about a year ago now), I was trying to make plans to hang out with her, but she kept flaking. Looking back on those conversations, they were awkward as shit, hahahaha. I'm definitely more smooth now.

I messaged her on Facebook calling her cute, saying I was coming to my hometown soon, and asking for her number. Here's some snippets from our text conversation. I already handed her a boyfriend disqualification preceding these examples:

Hope: So are your intentions just to hang out with me backstory?
Me: yes I'm not a serial killer I swear

...

Me: yeah no kidding, I've never dated another guy and dont want to, but for some reason gay guys are obsessed with me. it's annoying.
Hope: cause youre a cutie
Me: youre just saying that so you can get in my pants :)
Hope: But hey you called me cute too
Hope: Does that mean you're trying to get in my pants?
Me: maybe, you'll have to wait and find out

I've never been reverse chase framed like that, so it caught me off guard. I felt the best way was to just be mysterious about it. I've been doing thinking about why she reverse chase framed me like that but can't figure out any reasons why, besides the fact she's interested and intrigued by me. I changed the subject shortly after and she actually got annoyed that I was changing the subject. Also, gay guys are ridiculously attracted to me, but I think I'm not going to bring that up in conversation anymore, it just sets the wrong frame.

Richard gave me some advice on how to tell a sex story, and I was also reading Alek's articles on how to tell a sex story. So last night I told her a detailed sex story. I made it up cuz I'm a virgin:

Me: *Sex story*
Me: Do you have any similar stories?
Hope: Maybe lol
Me: tell me! sex stories are fun :)
Hope: I'm bad at telling stories. :)
Hope: Just gotta experience it with me if ya wanna know so bad :)))

I wasn't sure what that last remark meant. I feel like she was basically saying "let's just fuck and make our own story." I feel like the sexual tension is at it's peak and I don't want it to burst before I get back home. I also don't want to make any mistakes. Everything's going pretty good. I think I'll just ignore her for a while.

Gonna make another post soon detailing how I want to improve on the next 4 months.
 
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