Seppuku's Journey into Seduction

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hey Ray,

For Carmelita, I did not know what to make of her resistance to the kiss on our first date. But true, I can see very well in hindsight how right you are. I can see how it would have worked better. More learning to do, obviously...

Anyway, thanks for advice!
Seppuku
PS. You're absolutely welcome to comment!
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
October 3 - date with Rachel

I take and accept Ray's point that I should have taken Carmelita straight to home on my first date. She was most probably hoping for it but hoped it would be coming from me so she could deny responsibility. Yes, it is Girlschase main message, too. I am not familiar with the idea of first date lay but I am here to learn, so I hope to improve this in my future interactions. And by the way you guys feel free to comment at all times. Yet, in the case of Rachel for tonight's date, logistics was fully impossible as my ex-wife was visiting us and staying with the kids at home [while I was out dating, lol]. In Qatar, sex in other places than home is strictly NOT recommended.

At 7 pm I meet Rachel at the city center (same place I met Marianne earlier this day). She just sent me another selfie that she just took with her shorter hair. She's beautiful and has an easy, friendly and accommodating personality. We walk to the W hotel to the restaurant, and they have organized a table with a rose on it plus many petals all over the table. I tell Rachel I told them I was coming on a date with a woman and they said they would do "something nice", but I did not expect something that obvious. To me it's too much but she seems to like it. We talk about our former love lives and I get her story with her husband. Quite a sad one, to be honest. Then we show pictures. I take the chance to move by her side and touch her as we view her pics. She shows me her varnished nails and I take the chance to take her hands. I tell her "now that you cut your hair, I can tell you that I prefer longer hair!" After the dinner we decide to walk to the Intercontinental Hotel, at Strata bar [my favorite date location, because of the city view from 55th floor]. On the way there, I try guiding her with arm on waist or by holding her arm. She says that it's her last time with short hair (probably her compliance with what I said earlier). We agree to put her bag in my car. After that on our way to Strata I take her hand. Reaction is to hold my arm. Then slowly hand again. We do the way partially hand in hand. In the elevator I again take her arm. Upstairs, we find the Strata bar is closed. There are windows, though, and while we look at the view, I gently lay my hands on her. Strata is closed for the beginning of Eid Al Kebir [a religious holiday]. OMG. I plan to take her to the Marriott. On our way, she remembers her 10pm curfew [many workers here have a curfew - doors close at a given time]. Suddenly we have to rush back to my car. In the car, I ask her hand in mine and she complies. Before she leaves, I approach my face to hers, smile and wait. She smiles and gives me her cheek. I do not kiss. She gives in and finally kiss me on the lips - a gentle reasonable kiss but kiss nevertheless. Later we chat for some time and I give her a quick call. She has left the rose in my car [she had kept it from the restaurant]. After I return from the car with the rose, we joke that my ex wife could have find it.

The next day I will leave Qatar for a 2 weeks vacation in France while my ex-wife keeps the children in Doha. This is my first time in France as a single since 1997. About Rachel, she will become my girlfriend about a month later but of course I don't know it yet.
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,986
Location
Australia
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

In regards to Carmelita I forgot to mention that kissing in public is a definite no no (in Chase's words)... I thought you might be interested to read the following pair of FRs from September this year involving a date of mine that went like the date with Carmelita, hence my first hand knowledge haha:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7700
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7938
In this you can see what Chase said about kissing in public and about being too honest about your pickup ambitions... in retrospect I also see I moved much too slowly and should have pulled her home, didn't and slid into boyfriend territory and ultimately got friendzoned... for an example of kissing in public and having it go well, and pulling her home with plausible deniability, see this:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8741
These are only a few months apart, illustrating it's possible to address your previous errors in every outing and improve fast :) Sounds like you are also hitting the dating scene hard and gaining experience rapidly :) I'm keen to hear about France :)

cheers, Ray
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hey Ray,

I loved your LR with this Chinese girl Elle! That was a very smooth pull, congrats!

About kissing in public, I did not know that, so thanks for the tip. The question I have now is, if you know you won't be able to pull the girl at home, for logistics reason for instance, and you're having a date with her, are you going to let her go home without at least a kiss?

Anyway ideally, I agree, the best is to build up sexual tension, then bring her home, and kiss her as part of the sexual escalation process. My goal is to reach this point.

Cheers,

Seppuku
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Oct 4th. Experiments with eye contact

It's just been a busy week, where suddenly after months of getting nothing, I suddenly get dates with three girls in 6 days, plus two other contacts in waiting. I have to reassess what I thought of online dating. I had tried POF and some other sites before and I had found them useless. But this WeChat worked like magic to get me dates. It saves time by browsing quickly through the numbers and finally retain only those girls who are attracted. It will definitely slow down my learning curve on day game and direct approach, but on the other hand will help me a lot with the many other aspects of the game required to turn dates into lays. Second, it will help me develop the confidence, abundance mentality and outcome independence all useful for day game.

For now I am off to France for a two weeks vacation on my own. In the plane I experiment with eye contact and touch. The flight attendant is a cutie, probably Chinese. When she comes by to serve the drink I lock my eyes into hers, hold her gaze and smile. This is not casual eye contact, this is deep eye contact, where you try to see her soul. She smiles back warmly. When she gives me the glass I gently touch her hand. Next time she passes by she looks straight into my eyes and smile. Then she becomes a bit flirty. Seems efficient, now she is asking for more! Should I pursue with her? I decide that she is not pretty enough though. Cute face but otherwise tall and skinny, not my type. Yet, let us see if she's motivated. Later on I go next to her in the attendant cabin and ask for a glass of water then stays around a little bit. I want to see if she's going to start engaging a chat, or give me approach invites... and she does not.

This eye contact thing seems powerful enough! During my stay in France I tried more experiments of the same kind with sales girls in shops; the response was generally positive so it is something I have to use more! In one case, though, the girl sustained my gaze persistently and I found it almost challenging me. While speaking to her I held her gaze; it lasted one minute or more and finally she broke eye contact first by looking at the side.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Oct. 13th. An easy lay

My trip to France turned out to be less eventful as I hoped. The weather was shitty all the time so no long daygame sessions in Paris. Instead I spent my time visiting relatives and long term friends.

Now to the lay. Well guys, this was an easy one, I don't think it really deserves an LR. We can view this as long term game. Stella was my girlfriend 20 years ago, and since then, I married, she married, I divorced, and she is in the process of divorcing. In the meantime she's been chasing me all the time. In 1999 she found my email and contacted me. In 2008 she found my facebook and contacted me. She managed to connect with all my family and friends, too. And since then she's been constantly initiating chats on FB. We have chatted again and again on our marital lives so we are very much up to date on the topic.

On October 12 I came to Rennes (a large city west of France) to visit my all time buddy there, so inevitably there are some FB pictures posted and Stella finds out I'm in Rennes - she lives 20 km away. She contacts me using Facebook messenger. She implies that she will have her next morning available. I ask her if this is an invitation for a coffee. Yes. Now guys when I asked that, I was naively expecting a meeting in a local cafe, but she actually meant a meeting at her place. So I agree to bring some coffee with me and come the next day to her place.

13 Oct. Meeting with Stella. I arrive 50 minutes late as I was caught in a traffic jam. We haven't seen each other since 1995, 19 years! She opens the door... And she's probably more pretty now than she was then! She has some hair coloration, and got womanly shapes. Still beautiful blue eyes and warm smile. I touch her arm as we kiss hello on cheeks. She prepares the coffee and we start chatting on the sofa. We go through a mutual tour of our married lives and chat for maybe an hour. She asks me to stay for lunch. She's definitely not into cooking so I prepare the lunch and cook. I'm still unsure of what to do next. After the lunch, as she starts preparing a second round of coffee, I decide that leaving as just friends won't do. Her smile wins me... I lead her to the sofa with a hand on her waist. She has a pleased surprised expression on her face. "I am going to be a little familiar!" and as we sit I put my arm over her shoulders and pull her towards me. "I did not expect..." she says :) Of course not Stella, I think. You invite the guy you've been chasing 20 years at home and did not expect this, lol.

She puts her head on my shoulder. We stay some time like that as I caress her hair, softly touch her hands. Her cheeks become very warm and red. Soon we are kissing each other very gently and softly. I have my hands on her body. I touch her tit gently then move my hand over. We kiss deeper, tongue. I am caressing her whole body and hold her tit. I start kissing the exposed part of her tit. Soon I extract her nipple and suck it. My hand is on her ass. She has her hand on my belt and gently unbuckle it. She has now her tit out and I'm still sucking it. I start removing her trouser. Not yet fully removed but I have now my hand on her bare bottom. Trousers removed, shirt removed... It's black underwear on white skin. I caress her pussy through the pantie. I am now in underwear too. We move upstairs where her bedroom is. It's dim. She's now standing fully naked in my arms. I caress her whole body and kiss her then we lay on the bed and I start shagging her... For a good 30 minutes. We then lay in each other's arms silently for some time. We dress then kiss before parting.

In the evening she texts me and says that she feels good :)
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
18th October. Back to Doha - Aimee, Badoo and texting dynamics.

On my trip back to Doha I had to make a brief overnight stop to Beirut for personal matters. At the check in counter in Paris, the waitress is a young gorgeous lady with a flirty smile. When she reads my passport she voices my first name, I say "nice meeting you", she answers same, "my name is Sabrina by the way..." I have a couple of humorous comments to which she laughs, then before leaving I gaze her deeply in the eyes and tell her "you have very beautiful eyes" and smile. She answers with a warm smile and says "that compliment goes straight to my heart, thank you!" "Personal policy, when I think it, I say it". I turn and leave and start thinking that I could have asked for her phone... Well I am about to depart and she's at work, so logistics is very bad, but maybe longer term game? In Beirut, I am checking out of the hotel. At the reception desk of the hotel there is this young and pretty brunette, absolutely gorgeous. I approach with an initial neutral expression then smile to break the tension. She smiles back. As she prepares the bill I ask her "and your name is?" "Arianne". After I paid, I lock my eyes into hers, smile, lean towards her then say softly, almost whispering, with a sexy tone: "and you have beautiful eyes!" She suddenly have a shining smile! Her face literally illuminates. Saying goodbye, I look deeply into her eyes again. She breaks eye contact looking down. Then I'm off to Beirut airport.

As said in a previous post, I am ready to do more online game as WeChat proved very helpful. Again, I still have loads to learn on direct approach and day game. But in the meantime I think online game can really help me with other parts of gaming. Online game allows to browse through numbers and to pre-select only those girls who are readily interested, based on fundamentals (essentially the profile pics). It short circuits many early steps of gaming and put you straight into dates. The focus in now on the later stages, namely date-to-bed. Having multiple dates also puts you in a better mindset, a mindset of abundance and pre-selection. So I decided to install Badoo on my tablet... and immediately on-boarded new women. On Oct. 17th I get in touch with Aimee, a 30 years old sexy Filipina working in Doha. We quickly switch to Whatsapp which is a much more convenient chat platform than Badoo, then go on to deep diving, exchanging pics and voice messages. Then I start getting loads of shit tests. When I tell her I have my children with me, her reaction is initially sharp. "You need to sort out your life!" Well, truth is that it's already pretty sorted, I tell her. "I am not a woman for you", etc... and in general I think I manage to pass her tests quite well.

When I finally reach Doha airport I have messages from Stella, Aimee and Marianne asking me if I reached safely. Ever since I met her the day before my departure, and asked her to put a date idea on hold, Marianne has been texting me diligently two to three times a day, wishing me to "take care always" etc... Aimee sends me more sexy pictures of her. In the evening, I have more text exchanges with Rachel as well. In general since end of september, and until now as I am writing this, I have had an uninterrupted stream of text messages with at least two or three different girls every day. I must say this is a complete change in dynamics compared to a month ago.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
21 October - 2nd date with Rachel

Still in the process of brwosing through my notes for the important events of this last 6 months. Goal is to catch up to today then go into a normal day to day journaling mode

21 Oct. I pick her up at her place then drive all the way back to my apartment and park in my basement parking spot. On our way to the Intercontinental Hotel, I take her hand. When we reach public places, she drops my hand. We reach the buffet restaurant and sit in a quiet place and casually chat as we're having our dinner. Later she wants to show me some pictures and as I come closer, I kiss her on the lips, soft and short. After the dinner, we're holding hands and moving to the Strata bar at 55th floor. There, as we're having soft drinks and enjoying the city view, we continue deep diving into each others stories. I am holding her hand and caressing the skin of her arm which is incredibly soft. At some point, I break the contact intentionally to see if she reengages. And now she's reaching her hand towards me to touch me. I take her hand back and restart. We have a good emotional bonding. In the elevator, I am holding her by the waist. We walk back to my parking and when we're out of public spot I hold her hand again. We're now close to her curfew (10 pm! Yes guys that's the reality for a lot of people working in Qatar) so well I will content myself with the kiss for now. As we reach my car, I draw her into my arms and kiss her. As I drive her back, my hand is on her leg and her hand is on mine. Before I let her go we have another kiss. At this stage, the kisses are still short and soft. She is still not fully giving herself into it.

Later the evening, she texts me "Let take it slow ok? BF/GF status after we're sure of each others feelings". "I get your point, but do you get mine? I am 45, not 18", I answer. I like this line. By this I mean to convey that I will not have the patience to be fooled around like a teenager, but at the same time it keeps her guessing. As she asks about what I meant I tell her it's late and we can continue the discussion later. Well done, I did not surrender to her frame.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
24 October and beyond - onset of relationship with Rachel

I decide that it will be helpful if I officialize her with respect to my children. That will simplify a lot of logistics issue, especially regarding her 10 pm curfew. At the same time she is a beautiful and very sweet woman and I don't mind starting a relationship with her. So we agree that she'll come to my home on Friday (week-end day in the gulf...), meet my children and have a cooking date.

24 Oct. Cooking date with Rachel. Kids and myself pick her up at her home right after our swimming pool, then all go to my place. I don't kiss her right away. When we're in the kitchen we start preparing the dinner. I try a kiss, and it feels much warmer than previously. Lots of touching now from both sides. She prompts me to touch her belly and check the tummy. She's very thin and there's nearly nothing to worry about. She now touches me a lot, belly, chest, arms, face... I go for the second kiss... and now get a real one, warm, open mouth. Wow. At some point I stop soliciting her kiss and touch, and she engages me. After dinner we're both in the kitchen and finish cleaning dishes. We're alone, kids in the next room. I take her in my arms, hold her close and engage into a long and passionate kiss. I am caressing her bare arms, and also kissing her in the neck. The kiss goes on and she is now turning on. She starts caressing my arms too, and her hands move up to my shoulders under my tee shirt. My hands go down on her body and I hold her bottom briefly. She is getting aroused, I can tell from her breathing. Reality catches up ultimately as my children are just next door, and we have to cool down. We watch a movie with my kids and she is in my arms all the time. We're touching and caressing each other in the meantime. After I drive her back, we have a very tender kiss before departing.

28 Oct. Rachel spends the evening with us. We prepare the dinner then eat... few kisses in the kitchen... Then we watch the cartoons with the kids. Rachel is in my arms all the time and I caress her bare legs. Her skin is soft. While watching I take her hand and kiss her fingers then gently take then in my mouth. She likes it. Next she gives me her hand, and put her fingers in my mouth again and again. When kids are in bed we engage into a very passionate kiss. She literally eats me. I have my hand on her legs, then up under the skirt on her bottom. I am now caressing her whole body as I kiss her neck. She soon gets on top and continues the passionate kiss as she presses herself against my body and my dick through the trousers. She has a very sexy underwear. I start kissing her small but cute tits "they are very beautiful!" then start kissing her legs then go slowly upwards. She stops me short before I reach her pussy. "OK not now! But I will eventually kiss every single place I like!" I gently fondle her pussy through the panties as we continue kissing. It's past 9:30 and we need to leave in 10 minutes, so we both agree that it's best to take the time to make love properly for our first time, and stop here for now. I finally drive her back home. Wow I don't remember ever have been kissed like this.

31 Oct. I pick up Rachel at 10:30 and bring her home. We have our first kiss in my car before coming to my apartment. Greetings to children... then I take her discreetly to my bedroom. We have a passionate kiss on my bed and my hands are all over her. We then go to the kitchen and start preparing the food. I bring my son to a birthday party then we take daughter out at the park, then mall. As we come back, I tell my daughter that we are going to take a little rest in my bedroom. I bring Rachel in my bedroom and we immediately start kissing passionately. I lock my door then we're on the bed. This time my hands start to wander beneath her panties. I have her take off her bra and as I kiss her bare breast my finger meets her pussy. She takes off her trousers and I am now playing with her pussy. Her kisses are very passionate, softly biting me. I take off my tee shirt and she now kisses my torso. There is now no coming back. I take out my trousers then pants. I remove her pantie. I take a condom. "Before putting my hat I want to feel you!" and I penetrate her. A few there and back then out and I put a condom. The shagging starts... We're finally out of the bedroom and spend the rest of the evening socially with the kids, dinner and movie. We have a tender kiss in the car when I drop her home.

From now on I am seeing Rachel regularly three times a week. The kids have accepted her very well so most of the time she's at home with us.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
25 October. Following up on my interactions

So I am on-boarding Rachel in my life. She's a beauty and a nice woman. Given my circumstances (single dad with kids) I decide it will be convenient to officialize my relationship with her to my kids so that I can bring her home regularly. Logistics is a big thing in this country (It's Qatar, a Muslim country). There is no fucking in public place (it's prison) or in the car - even holding hands in public not allowed. And many girls like Rachel have a curfew such as 10pm, designed to prevent this sort of things precisely, and they can't bring a guy at home. OK so I took Rachel home and presented her to my kids, we had a cooking date, and things at this stage are warming up.

But... I can't just give up my on-going seduction learning process. I am with Rachel but all the logistics constraints mean that I still have a lot of time on my own. She can't establish herself in my home, she can't stay overnight, and we can't meet more than three times a week. So there will be more time slots available to meet other women. The thing is, now my kids know Rachel I can't show them another girlfriend, it would be too much for them... Yet I'd like to take more women to bed. So the plan now is to have Karen (yes, that nanny from my previous post lol) babysit my kids in the evening and put them to bed at 9pm, while I'm out. When I'm about to come back (hopefully with a girl) I give her a call and tell her she can leave. The idea is to take the girl to the living room while my kids are sleeping.

So that's the plan at least (and the one I finally executed for the first time in my FR - Joanne). But for now I have several interactions going on.

  • * Marianne is still sending me three messages a day (she's been doing so for one month now). I initially tried not to answer too often but she keeps sending diligently. On the 25th October she starts complaining I'm busy. I answer that yes, I am busy, "but remember what we discussed when we met" I refer to what I told her earlier, that we should put the dating plan on hold until all the difficult events in her life are sorted out. And from this day, she went cold. No more texts, and she blocked me on WeChat and Whatsapp. Ah girls...
    * Jenalyn had been pinging me on WeChat several times while I was on vacations to Paris. Well, I answered irregularly whenever I could. After my return when we meet (she is at the reception desk in my building) she sends me warm and sexy smiles. Problem is that it could turn messy as we meet everyday in my building. I am bringing Rachel home these days, and sooner or later she will find out. So I keep her low on my priority list... But soon, she auto-rejects.
    * Stella is sending me Facebook messages once in a while. We agree that we will meet when I return in France in Christmas vacations.
    * Ina and Tracy, my earlier WeChat contacts. Well I keep the contacts alive but basically try to save them for later. Ina has a boyfriend anyway so no need to put lots of efforts here.
    * Carmelita... I messaged her after I returned, just to check. Got a polite answer but well, no excitement now.
So there's Aimee left. In the week after my return, we've been in contact by Whatsapp regularly. The interaction was fiery. Ups, downs, lots of shit tests, then she goes silent, then comes back to me. Overall I think I avoided the pitfalls and traps. From my notes:

  • * Oct 22nd: Aimee reengages me. At some stage I send her a selfie. "You like taking selfies, ha? And send to your chatmates ;-)" "Not really, but they're sending their selfies so I have to respond." It is now established that I have chatmates. "How is it, by the way?" OK so I accept the open chat. "But I expect you to be open in return!" I tell her about the three dates I got the week before vacations. "Of the three, I am still seeing one". She tells me of a date of hers that went wrong on Monday, and now asks me to introduce her to nice guys :) for potential dating! I do not give in to the trap.
    * Oct 23rd. Aimee is back to me, and she sends me a nice selfie, and I compliment her. I joke her playfully throughout the day. "At work now. - Me too, busy morning. -Lol, busy with ur girlfriend? - At work? Not this kind of work unfortunately lol. - Hahahaha" etc...
On 25 Oct. after all the game going on with Aimee in the last week, I decide I have to do something. I ask her to meet on Monday, but she says she has work. Well I thought she had only morning shift that day. Then she sends a whole set of challenging questions. Why do you want to meet me? You have girl already. You don't have time for me. I don't think that will happen... etc... I avoid the "you have girl" argument by mentioning she's dating too. She seems resentful I did not ask her out last week. I make a token resistance, then conclude "Anyway I am not arguing. It's OK, I had to ask." And I know she will be back.

And bingo, by 8 pm she's back on my Whatsapp. "Can you meet me tomorrow?" we set up a meeting for the next day in Ezdan mall.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
October 26 - Date with Aimee

On Oct. 26 I finally have the date with Aimee.

She initially tries changing the plan at the last minute, asking me to pick her up in the Villagio Mall (which is far and very inconvenient for me, and not what we agreed). I stay firm. "I am coming to Ezdan Mall at 7pm as agreed and hope to see you there."

I meet her at the Ezdan - she managed a taxi to get there on her own lol - and from the start it doesn't tick, she avoids looking at me and my eyes. It makes an uncomfortable situation. She is otherwise pretty and wears a sexy dress.

In the car I ask her to unfold her hair and she does. I try to make her at ease, and try to make her speak but she barely speaks. She has her mystery smile and avoids my eyes. We reach the Lounge. As we eat, I start touching while talking to her. I take her hand and caress it, I have my arm over her waist, I caress her hair, I touch her bare leg and caress it. The touching is accepted. But she still is on the defense, and not fully giving into the date. Deep diving is difficult as she barely answers questions.

The fact that she avoids looking my eyes finally puts me off. After two hours together, I still could not make her comfortable and I drive her back. Before she leaves, I lean towards her and smile. She first gives me her cheek, but I don't give in. She finally gives me the kiss. Later I text her "You did not look like enjoying your time. It's OK, was nice meeting you". "What you mean? I enjoy. Why you think bad?" "You did not look into my eyes". "I'm not used to. You're such a nice man" "Am I?" "Yeah. Gentleman." "I'm a man and also have my selfish side". Etc...

And that was pretty much it with Aimee. Later in November and December she's been back in touch with me several times, and even sent me (spontaneously) some sexy pictures of herself in underwear. After that we agreed on a second date - but I got sick and had to cancel at the last minute. Since then her working contract in Qatar was cancelled and she was sent back to the Philippines. Today we're still in touch on Whatsapp.

It seems that she was into me after all. In retrospect I think she was used to dating much more aggressive guys and was very defensive when we met. One thing is sure, from my previous interactions with her she is an emotional roller coaster, and she would have required lots of energy, more than what I was prepared to give.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
November to Date - that's pretty much it!

As much as October was active, November was quiet. I was meeting Rachel three times a week (taking her at home) and had little time for meeting more girls, and in addition I got sick from a bad cold for most of the month. But I did not want to end my efforts at self improvement, so late November I started to work out a new logistics plan to free up some time, and I started the dynamics again on Badoo, building up new contacts and potential dates. As described somewhere else, the plan is to go on an evening date and bring back a girl home after 9pm when my kids are sleeping and the nanny's gone back home. That led me to the beginning of December when I started to actually date Joanne - described in my FR. The last date with her was on Dec 13th, then I was off the country for Christmas vacations with kids and family, and here I am now.

So that pretty much concludes the review of my personal notes from the last 6 months. Of course there is no case for complacency and compared to the more experienced guys in this forum I still have a long way to go. Yet, I have observed some progress:

* Fundamentals improved
* The beginning of a process
* Out of celibacy
* Took two girls to bed and still in touch with many more

So that's already a number of my early goals reached. Yet there is plenty of room for improvement. I need to take more women to bed and move further away from the Provider game.

* More qualification and compliance in my game
* Simplify dates and move faster

Another thing is I have slowed down the direct approach. Online dating allowed me to skip some of the early steps, get more dates and focus on the latter parts of the game. It's definitely helpful and useful learning, and in addition it starts building the abundance mentality. Yet I don't want to give up the direct approach learning curve, and that's another goal.

So from now on, I will be in real journaling mode, reporting events and monitoring progresses on the go instead of retrospectively.
 

ThrowDown

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
67
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Seems to me that online dating is doing many wonders for you! ;) I'm going to check it out for myself. Normally the old school approach is how I do things; however there are opportunities everywhere, especially in a world of technology advancement.

Congrats on your progress. :)
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hey ThrowDown,

Thanks and happy new year to you.

Online dating worked well for me in Qatar so far for two reasons I believe: 1. Upped my fundamentals, and 2. Higher relative status. The last point is because here, middle aged western expats here are usually well established professionals; and so far I have appealed to girls from the Philippines which are usually lower status. Well, I will be not ashamed of using every potential advantage I have on my way to learning. My goal for now is to learn later stages of the game, like taking the girl home and escalation.

Your "old school" approach is a great one, I am conscious I am missing whole avenues of pickup and plan to return there later on :) If I can get some more abundance mentality and outcome independence with the online game, maybe it will help me with the approach anxiety!

Anyway it's a lot of fun so far!

Seppuku
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Jan 5 - setting up a date with Ina

So while I was away in vacations, my girlfriend Rachel blew a fuse and without warning turned silent overnight on the 25 Dec. The little explanation I managed to get from her was, quote, "this is not real love", at least not her idea of what real love should be. Yet, believe me, we fucked very often and very well, most of the time 1 hr or more, she expressed her pleasure in a most vocal way and she wanted it even more than I did. Well whatever, I no longer have the patience to play into this, so I let her go. And this is where, my friends, I was very happy to have left all my options open.

Joanne (my FR) is still pinging me religiously, and Aimee (a one time date) sending me messages from the Philippines. Then there are 7 new online matches, work in progress, plus previous contacts, some of them that I had left open simply because of lack of time to investigate further.

One of these previous contacts is Ina, the Chinese beauty that I met on WeChat (but never face to face), at the same time I was dating Carmelita, Marianne, and Rachel... the other girls happened to take precedence over Ina. She had hinted at a boyfriend, and I told her I was dating some hot girls, and I made it clear that I was on WeChat to meet and date beautiful women. At some point I told her straight "You are a beauty for sure" and then the underlying idea was that we should be dating. After that, we had some short small chat once in a while, but today, Jan 5, I decided that the time was right.

I notice she's online on WeChat and decide to set a date.

Me: Happy new year, Ina
Her: Thanks same to you
Me: Let us meet for real
Her: ?
Me: Like a drink some time this week if you're free
Her: Maybe. But I just free on the day time
Me: Now driving. Let me think. Will chat you later.
Her: Ok Bye
One hour later. I have decided to insist on an evening date first before suggesting daytime, and in general to give her a little fight.
Me: Finished driving, crazy traffic. I have my work during daytime. You don't have any evening free?
Her: Yes here always traffic. I don't have evening time
Me: Ok. Until what time can you make it in the day?
Her: Before 12 am.
Me: Difficult.
Her: Yes.
Me: Too bad. My omens said I would meet a chinese beauty in 2015. No luck for now ;-)
Her: Just started 2015. Have all year. You have time don't worry
Me: Haha ;-) I'm not a patient man.
2 mins later
Me: How about lunch time 12 to 2 pm?
Her: Haha. On sunday maybe.
30 minutes later
Me: Back home at last :) Ok for sunday at 12, at W hotel. I propose the italian restaurant there. I meet you in the lobby of W.
Her: Ok.
(some small chat - just to appear normal after securing the date)
Now given the daytime constraint, I know I will not be able to pull anywhere. During the day, I have my kids at home. Difficult also to be absent from work in the morning. So I don't see how I can arrange a logistics plan; yet I still want to go and meet her, see how the chemistry goes. If she likes me, I'm sure she will find some ways of freeing up some evening time.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
January 9 - Setting up a date with Joy

This past 7 days I was very active on the various online dating sites, and made up 15 new contacts. Some of them turn out to be just noise; yet I have some interesting new leads, one of them being Anne. I also recontacted some former contacts that I could not investigate further the last two months. We've seen Ina in my previous post. Joy is another one.

Joy initially contacted me spontaneously on Dec 4. After very little introduction she proceeded straight to asking me about my plan on Saturday 6th, and insisted several times on meeting me. Unfortunately I had plans already (I was dating Joanne... 2nd date) and in spite I told her that I had already plans she kept insisting. Well no luck that time. So on my preceding text I had asked her about her plans on coming Saturday. Wow so much interest out of the blue, so impulsive. So I decided to reconnect and on Jan 5 sent her a new years greeting and mentioned I was available on coming Saturday.

In the morning of Jan 8 I see that Joy has answered by giving me her phone. "Well noted. I'll text you later". By 9:30 am I send her a text message. She answers right back on Whatsapp. We do some deep diving. She's a 31 years old Filipina, mother of 3 (11, 9 and 6) separated from husband since 2009 when her youngest was 1 yrs old. To test a girl's interest in going further I usually ask her for a picture... They either oblige or resist the request. It's another compliance request at the end of the day... I ask her, and she obliges with no resistance. I plant the idea of being with me "have you been with a western boyfriend before?" "well you may expect some differences I guess" so now I've planted the idea of being together. The meeting on Saturday is not confirmed, it will depend if she has night shift or not. "To be honest this is my first time to have a date because I'm afraid to go out alone" "well at this stage we don't even know if we're dating ;-) It's still suspense" "I don't think so"

Well the false suspense is resolved the next day, Jan 9. In the morning I send a little check up text "good morning" to see the vibe and it still looks good. We do not text the full day, and by 8pm I reiterate my request for a dinner on Saturday (tomorrow!). "I will tell you later". "You still don't know about your shift?" It turns out that this is still a little resistance on her part. After a couple of minutes she texts back "OK for tomorrow 8pm. Where do we go?" We agree on an Italian restaurant. We'll see that tomorrow Jan 10th then!

My dating schedule is getting busy. There is still a date planned with Ina on the 11th. And Joanne is still in regular touch. Will have to accommodate some time for her I think before she autorejects. And then there is an interesting new date prospect, Anne, but will put this separately if it ever materialize.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
January 10 - a flake

Joy texted me early morning to cancel tonight's date. Official reason, she had to take evening work to prepare for a big sale week. She said she would be back with another time. I answered that sounds too much like maybe, and she answered "I let you know by coming Sunday". Well my paranoid (or experienced ?) mind tells me of another possible reading, namely she got a more interesting date coming up and put me second priority. She's now waiting to see the outcome of the date to decide on me. Who knows for sure? Well anyway I played it cool. If she does not come back as she said I will see.

In the meantime Joanne is now sick with fever and flu, so our catch up date is postponed for now.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
January 13 - quick lunch date with Ina

There were no further news of Joy after our last exchange. I am keeping it silent for now and will maybe revert to her later with a low key text.

The planned date with Ina did not happen on Sunday as agreed. She texted me to apologize for not coming but suggested to do Tuesday (13th) instead. Well this is a quite positive sign, instead of the usual lame excuse to flake. On Tuesday morning I text her "Hey Ina, see you today at 12" and she checks in, "OK".

As mentioned earlier I know I don't have a possibility of pulling out: there are my housemaid and children at home at this time - so I only go to check the vibe. At 12 I turn at the appointment and she comes with a modest 5 minutes late. She's an absolute beauty without the apparent distance and coldness of so many beautiful girls. Long hair, almond eyes, gorgeous lips, charming smile, naturally sexy. We go to the restaurant as planned. I tell her "it's confirmed, you're a Chinese beauty!". English is neither of us native language and we have some difficulty of understanding each other but by patiently repeating some parts and articulating we manage to have a gentle conversation. I attempt my touch compliance routine but the environment is daytime and business lunch style so I'm restrained in what I can do. At some point I notice that my body language is too much onto her so I hold back a bit. It goes well. Somehow the conversation ends up trapped around my ex-wife. It's woman curiosity (and probably behind some degree of jealousy) so I take it as a sign of interest but I know I need to defuse it quick, and finally get to change the topic. About her job, she again does not want to say much about it. "I already told you what I do". For the record she told me earlier that she does "massage". When I asked if she was doing it in a hotel or beauty saloon she answered "private". I had inferred that she might be some sort of high end prostitute. The fact that she keeps silent on the subject now and avoids it confirms me in my assumption. She is polite, well mannered, she seems fairly affluent. We discuss views on marriage and she shares my view that what matters is to be happy, as opposed as to be married. Apparently divorce is fairly common in China. I did not know that - I had seen mostly conservative societies in Asia, whether Japan, Philippines, South Eastern Asia. She has a British boyfriend, and I mention my (ex) girlfriend Rachel. We've known each other only by chat and exchanged pictures, it's our first meet. I ask her "So how do I look compared to my pictures?" and she answers "You're more handsome than your pics". This day I'm dressed with a business suit (I'm just out of work) and elegant shirt and matched tie, I think I'm at my best elegance business style. All the time I think I have displayed confidence, deep eye contact, charming smile. "You're as beautiful as your pictures and that's a lot" I tell her, looking straight into her eyes and smiling. She briefly looked down. Finally knowing that I have nothing to lose, I tell her "I'm available for dating". My free time is in the evening, but that's when she's working. We both go. She's the first to text me and thank me for the time.

Vibe was good. She gave me indicators of interest, remembered details of our chats, and gave me (I think) genuine compliments. She has a busy night life, I suspect she's a high end prostitute but she did not expressed direct interest for money. She has a boyfriend but she seems to have a liberal mentality. She seemed to be into me to some extent. It sounded genuine, not another woman looking for more orbiters and validation. Overall I am thinking if I could turn her into a Friend with Benefits - and looking forward to those benefits. Let's see how this evolves.

Later tonight Joanne is back to me - we've been in daily touch over my vacations. On Sunday evening she gave me some drama on Viber like "You do not seek a relationship" then about my views on marriage. OMG. So we did not even get a proper kiss yet but already a drama. These girls, do they have any sense? If they want a relationship they should give more kisses and less drama, not the other way around.
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,986
Location
Australia
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Wow. Ina sounds hot. You must be displaying a fair bit of value to be getting all these women hot and bothered ;) The difficulty seems to be avoiding the boyfriend frame, I find that hard also.
-Ray
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hey Ray, my work on fundamentals, after reading GC, has helped apparently, I've been called sexy now, much more than in my younger days. And yep, you nailed it, the boyfriend frame. It has to do with the age I guess. 45, established in life, ideal boyfriend candidate. Well better than nothing, but working to improve this.
 
Top
>