1.5-2.0 Yr Mark
Topics:
Areas of management
Dynamics
Sex
Cost/Investment
Goals
Areas of improvement
Future progressions
Danger
Lifestyle
I wanted to update the journal because I’m going through a lot of juicy stuff that I want to document. Compared to the last journal entry, its not easy-going, I am facing a lot of real world relationship problems.
Intro:
The main theme of the 1.5 to 2 year is what I see a lot of people go through. Ever read articles about couples being annoyed and not having enough space? I went through that in this period. Currently, I am at the 2.5 to 3 year zone, but wanted to write down how it went.
Areas of management:
-Adrenal fatigue: I discovered that long night of staying up late, going out, having sex have added up around the 1.7 year mark. My energy levels dropped significantly and stayed there for awhile.
-Getting things done while being around her: The fatigue I experienced seemed to spread to her as well, it became norm in 2017 where we would stay home all the time instead of going out. She got comfortable sitting at my place, on her phone or watching TV. It was a fight to get space for getting things done like chores, certifications, or work.
-Walking on eggshells (I found out the cause): It wasn’t until I started researching anxiety that I understood why I was walking on eggshells for a year. Last journal update I stated I got a handle, but it came back in very different ways. I did get coaching on it from the site, but it took me awhile to go through a troubleshooting list to get here. Anxiety is similar to the depression article from Chase about neural habits bringing you down, except that it works you into a frenzy. I am going to post a list of stories on the next journal entry to demonstrate it.
Dynamics:
-Increased frequency of us seeing each other: It was around the 1.7 yr mark where she started staying over 5 nights/week. At first I liked it, so I didn’t have to keep dropping her off, but there’s a downside to convince (see below).
-Starting to feel annoyed: Since she is with me everyday around the 2yr mark, I’ve felt the urge of me not getting anything done. I felt like a frazzled middle manager some days, I come home, start making dinner, and get tons of issues get put on my plate. I felt like I was putting out fires and didn’t have time for myself.
-Me starting to give in and manage less: After a couple months of this, I couldn’t help the feeling except for giving in to avoid drama. Bad confession, but I admit it. I was caught up in emotions and was just hoping for change.
Sex:
-Progressive and going into new areas: Two main things, anal sex with her and she’s riming me. For the rim thing, I used to be very uncomfortable about her touching my butt. One day, I realized that she isn’t trying to “dominate” me, but its her way of moving things forward. She doesn’t know what to do. After I let her, she opened up as well and we started doing anal sex (she let me put it in). It only happened about 3 times in total, them she clammed up and said she didn’t want to do it until marriage. Haha
-Stopped my PE routine because of privacy: I was a customer of mecoach for online PE training. My volume grew so high, it took 1hr/day. I couldn’t get that much privacy, so I quit.
-Getting less frequent because of adrenal fatigue: Towards the end of the 2yr, I was too sleep deprived to do it past 12 anymore.
Cost/Investment:
-Less cost than previous months because mostly staying in.
Goals:
-Traveling
-Continue to go to gym together.
Areas of improvement:
I’ve been researching different areas to help my relationship than the social skill/relationship management. I found prepping to be really helpful for traveling, going out, and staying safe. Its a community on Youtube where people build kits for different areas. Its been great for:
-Handling fussiness: When traveling or even staying home, we done need to go out for “special trips” for last minute items. If I wasn’t prepared beforehand, it could create frustration and drama if not handled right.
-Decreasing indecisiveness: If prepared for many situations, I noticed she doesn’t have as many second thoughts about some places such as: is it safe? Where should we eat (she’s vegetarian)? Will it be too hot/cold?
Future progressions:
-Getting a place w/o a roommate. It’s getting to the point where its getting awkward b/c she’s over so much.
Danger:
-Areas danger would happen: I live in a great neighborhood. There aren’t people in street corners catcalling or trying to pick fights. So far, I’ve never been in a confrontational situation with her.
-Relationship danger: Is anyone trying to take my girl? We both don’t go to areas where people are meeting each other like clubs, bars, and parties. Plus I live in a tech neighborhood, our neighbors are over stressed techies with young children. Its definitely not a “meet market”.
Lifestyle:
-Activities: living like students. She’s in school and I’m working full time, but doing certifications all the time. I hardly have any free time for doing anything. We are both mostly staying in and studying.
-Social niche: For me, I haven’t had time to socialize in like a year ;/ I’m haulin ass! For her, friends are students but she hasn’t been socializing much lately either. We both spend most of our free time with family.
-Day to day schedule: Work/school, spending a lot of time cooking, gym life, and studying.
Overview:
So that’s it, its an interesting section where the relationship is at another level. I feel like a lot of people get to this stage and I want to document my POV too.